Metamorphosis
by bugsandroses
Summary: Time frame is late sixth season. I was not a fan of the whole miniature killer arc. I started to write this to get the happy ending that Grissom, Sara and GSR fans deserved. I never thought that the show's writers would let Grissom retire and go to Sara.
1. Chapter 1

Greg Sanders and Sara Sidle were driving a coroner's van in the lower levels of Mt. Charleston. An unusual week of off and on rain caused mudslides all over the area and lots of overtime for each shift at the Las Vegas Crime Lab. CSI received a call from a driver who claimed to have seen a dead body on Kyle Canyon Road. He said the body had washed down onto the roadway from a higher elevation during a mudslide. Sara and Greg had been asked to help out by Conrad Ecklie, he asked them to verify if there was actually was a body on the road. If a body was found, he needed them to determine if the death was just another storm victim or if foul play was involved.

On arriving, a small but steady stream of muddy water flowed down the cliff face onto the roadway. That stream pushed a body slowly across the roadway in front of them. A fast scan confirmed at the roadway's edge, the body would drop at least 100 feet to a ravine below. Sara viewed the stream of water and the body and knew that time was very short.

"Oh Crap! We d better grab that DB quick or we ll have to chase it down into the ravine. All this water has already washed away any forensic evidence there might have been on it. Come on, let s do this and fast!"

Greg looked up at all the mud sliding down the cliff side warily. "Don t we have to wait for David? Is it safe for us to even be here?"

"We can t wait for the coroner. The faster we do this, the quicker we can get the hell out of here. Now get a body bag." Sara grabbed her camera and ran to the body as the light mist slowly turned into a drizzle.

She took several quick shots of the upper cliff where the body came from and where it was. Carefully she turned the body over. Very little of the woman s face was left. Clumps of mud soaked hair only highlighted the clumps that were missing. Most of the rest of the body was covered with mud, blood and bruises. Sara took a few more photos and then she helped Greg put the body into the coroner s bag. The drizzle slowly had changed into a light rain again.

The stream of water down the cliff face beside them was rapidly becoming a waterfall. Trying to hurry while carrying a dead weight was hard but they finally reached the van. Greg climbed in as Sara lifted her end of the bag inside. She stored the camera and placed the film in a watertight container beside it. She was about to climb into the van when a roaring sound was heard from high above them on the cliff. An entire section of the rocks let go and started to slide towards Sara, Greg and the van.

"Quick, give me your hand, Sara."

"No time. Go! I ll meet you further down the road, MOVE IT, GREG!"

She was already running back down the road they came on and nearly out of sight. Greg ran to the driver's seat and gunned the engine. Mud and water already puddled around the van tires would not allow any traction. The wheels spun uselessly. The van was moving but moving sideways. The muddy water pushed the van slowly sideways towards the side of the roadway and to the long drop into the ravine below. The mud sliding against the van's side was getting deeper and deeper. Greg could no longer open the driver side door to escape. He opened the passenger side door and realized the van was now only a foot or so from the roadway s edge. If he jumped, it would be suicide.

"Where's my surf board when I really need it?"

Out of options he opened the van's back door and pushed the body bag onto the mud.

"Grissom is going to kill me. Sorry about this, Miss Doe!"

Jumping out of the van he landed on the body bag like a surfboard. Looking back over his shoulder, he saw the coroner's van tip over the edge. It rolled over and over down the lower cliffs to land wheels up at the base of the ravine. It was almost instantly covered by waves and waves of mud, rocks and tree limbs that flowed down the entire cliff.

The mud around and under the body bag pushed Greg and the Jane Doe in the coroner's bag faster and faster down the hillside, until the bag hit a large boulder and they both became airborne. Greg tumbled out of control straight down into the ravine, as the body bag and its contents went flying off to his left. The body bag was the last thing he saw, a rock hit him and the rest of the fall faded into black.

* * *

A phone rang in a darkened room across town. A hand reached out from under a blanket to search for the receiver. "Grissom!"

"Sorry to wake you, Gil but there has been an accident. We lost a van in the rains. Sara and Greg are missing. Ecklie won't do anything. He said to call the rescue squad, it s their job."

"I'm on my way, Catherine."

Later that day, the rain had finally stopped and a weak watery sunshine had broken through the clouds. The light was welcome by the forty plus people that searched the thick mud in splattered coveralls. The searchers were fanned out in a ninety degree grid from the point where the van left the roadway and plummeted to the ravine below. All except for one man, who searched the upper cliff face and roadway. They continued to search through the night and into the next day. Just after nine the next morning, a car arrived in the base camp near the bottom of the ravine.

"Here comes trouble!" Warrick warned Nick, as Ecklie and the Sheriff arrived in suits. They stepped carefully to avoid the large mud puddles.

"Where is Grissom?"

Warrick pointed to the lone person still high on the upper cliff face and roadway.

"You can't go up there, it 's too unstable. Those are Grissom's orders."

Ecklie started up the hillside but the Sheriff pulled him back and shouted loudly. "Grissom!"

Sliding down the hillside, dressed like the other searchers in coveralls splattered with mud, Grissom walked over to the Sheriff.

"Sheriff, can you send me more people? Most of these guys have been here for eight or ten hours, they need a break and I need some fresh help."

"How much longer are you going to keep looking, Grissom? Ecklie asked as he wiped a splash of mud from his shoe. It s been 24 hours. Face it, Greg and Sara are dead and it's a tragedy but life goes on. Do you know how much time and money you are wasting?"

"Ecklie, they are my friends but screw that! They are your employees and our colleagues. I am going to keep looking as long as there is any hope of finding them alive. I wouldn't give up this soon even if it was only you under all this mud."

Ecklie was furious and wanted to lash out at Grissom but he turned on Warrick and Nick.

"And you two are off the clock. You want to play hero, I m not paying for it."

"I'm not on the clock, neither is Nick. You want to know where you can stick your clock?"

The Sheriff quickly stepped between Ecklie and an angry Grissom, Nick and Warrick.

"It doesn't look good, Gil. I can send one more team, then I think you re going to have to accept the bodies may never be found."

"i'm not looking for bodies. Why is everyone assuming Sara and Greg are dead? This is a rescue operation, not a body recovery scene."

"Then let the rescue squad handle it.' Ecklie stepped forward again. "I want my CSI staff back. Half of them called in sick today but I see most of them here and I have calls starting to stack up."

"Conrad, get a shovel and help or get the hell out of here!"

Grissom turned his back on Ecklie in dismissal. Even the Sheriff was startled by the Lab Administrator s callous attitude.

"Conrad, I ll meet you back at the lab. I need some time to reason with Grissom." Ecklie left grumbling.

"Everyone has a right to be a pain in the ass sometimes but Conrad abuses that privilege, Sheriff. I don t know how much longer I can deal with him. I know that Ecklie is better at the all the administrative cra......details but everything equates to dollars and cents for him. Screw getting the cases right, as long as they get done quickly! He does whatever is fastest and cheapest. I have caught some major errors on his cases. Cases closed that shouldn't have been and the wrong people arrested and even jailed. I've kept my mouth shut."

"I know that and I appreciate it, Gil. I need him for now. You can go overboard on cases sometimes. You watch him, he watches the expenses. It s not pretty but it is working."

"Yes, I know, Sheriff. When can I get fresh help here?"

"I'll call right now. Why don t you take a break, you've been here since yesterday."

"I can't! I have the daylight now to finish searching the upper cliffs, lots of ground to cover and I can't use any lights up there. The ground is too unstable. Thank you!"

Within the hour a bus arrived with 50 police cadets in clean coveralls. As they slowly took over the search grid, the tired and grimy original rescue team filed onto the same bus.

By late afternoon, Grissom had almost reached the bottom of the upper cliff. Suddenly a rock he was balanced on dislodged and he fell with mud and debris to the roadway or what was left of it, six feet below.

"Grissom, you OK? Get him some water." Nick called down to Warrick and then helped him to the base camp.

"Griss, you been here like 30 hours now. It's getting dark. Why don't you go home?"

"No, I m OK. I just need a few minutes and something to eat. I forgot to eat, that s all."

Nick brought him a sandwich and a sports drink. They all ate in strained silence.

"They weren't on the upper cliff face or roadway. No fibers, no hairs, nothing! There is no trace of them on the lower cliffs, so they must have been in the van. We need to fan out from the van in the ravine. The mud must have carried them far away from the van. They could be hurt or unconscious."

The word dead was not said but more and more all the searchers understood they were looking for bodies now, not Greg and Sara.

Just after the somber meal, a whistle was heard from far off to the right of the van.

"They found something!"

Grissom, Warrick and Nick ran to the location. Greg's upper torso poked through a pile of rocks, mud and water. The searchers quickly parted as Grissom reached the body.

"He s got a pulse and he is breathing. No! No shovels. Quick get me a hose. We need to clear the mud gently. He may have broken bones or internal injuries."

It took a half an hour to free him. Greg was badly bruised from head to toe. His clothes were ripped and caked with blood and mud. One shoe was missing.

"Careful, his left leg is broken, maybe the hip too. We need to wrap him in blankets to get him warm. He s in shock, watch his head! Call Brass, we need a medical chopper here quickly."

Once Grissom was satisfied that Greg was taken care of, his attention returned to locating Sara.

"The mud must have been flowing more like a river for him to have come this far from the original site. The rest of you fan out ninety degrees from here. Sara should be nearby. Warrick, Nick, knock off! Go with Greg. You've been here over 24 hours."

"No way! You guys never gave up on me when I was missing. I'm not giving up on Sara."

"Nick s right. I go when you go."

"OK! We found, Greg, we ll find Sara. Let s go."


	2. Chapter 2

In a small sanitarium not more than ten miles away from the search site, a doctor came onto the main floor for his night shift.

"How is our Jane Doe?"

"Still unconscious but considering the condition she was in when she was found, not bad. They had to shave her head. There was so much blood from her cuts we need to watch for infection. We did check to see if she had a fractured skull. First X-rays came back negative but we haven't been able to run any other tests because of all the damn rain. knocked out the main power again. We are on backup generators. As far as we can tell there are no internal injuries. She is just one mass of cuts, scrapes and bruises. You need to check for signs of exposure, pneumonia or other pulmonary complications. She was out in the rain a long time. We found mud everywhere, even a little in her stomach. We just finished cleaning her up."

"Did anyone find some ID?"

"No, what was left of her clothes were saturated with rain, mud and blood. What she was wearing might have been a coverall. Hey, maybe we should check the local prisons to see if anyone got lost in the storm."

"She's not a convict. There was only one small ankle tattoo. Did you see her hands……soft, smooth, no calluses. If you looked at the fingernails that weren't broken, they were manicured. I don't think they offer manicures in prison. I bet she's a student. She might have been hitch hiking home from college when she was hit by Dr. Westerly's car."

"I told you before, he did not hit her. She was on the road walking in heavy rains. The doctor swerved to miss her but she collapsed."

"In the shape she was in I'm surprised she could walk at all."

"I wonder why she was out in the rain all alone. She might have had a fight with her boyfriend and got out of his car or maybe her car broke down. Someone must be worried about her. Have you checked the news to see if there are any stories about a missing college student?"

"What news! I haven't seen a paper in days, damn rain. While we are on the backup generator, Dr Westerly has strict orders, no TV's. We need to conserve as much power as possible. Who knows how long until the main power is back on."

"Well, good luck. I am out of here. Check on Jane Doe for me?"

"Yep, on my way! Have a good one." The tired man waved as he locked the door behind him.

* * *

Grissom sank slowly down onto the cot, finally taking another break. He had been at the search site nearly 36 hours with little or no sleep. Even his hopes of finding Sara alive had faded. "Did we get any updates on Greg?"

Grissom, Warrick and Nick were all stretched out on Red Cross cots, eyes shut.

"Still unconscious! Broken ribs, one punctured a lung. He has a fractured leg plus a variety of cuts, scrapes and bruises. They actually found a little mud in his stomach and lungs. We nearly lost him….."

Warrick exchanged a look with Nick. Neither one of them wanted to state the obvious.

Greg had been found 6 hours earlier and there was still no sign of Sara.

"Sara is a fighter. We'll find her, boss."

"I hope so, Nicky."

Grissom tried to get up but he was clearly exhausted and reached for another cup of coffee. Minutes later a police car pulled up at the base camp.

"Brass, what are you doing here?"

"Gil, I'm sorry. They found Sara…….but we were too late, she is dead."

"Where is she? Show me!"

Grissom got into the front of Jim's car, Nick and Warrick got in the back. They drove nearly a half-mile from where Greg had been found. In what was once a dry ravine, a body was mostly buried in a muddy pool under the bright search lights.

"She was found at the bottom of the pool under nearly five feet of mud and rocks."

Without a thought Grissom waded through the mud and water to the body, then automatically felt for a pulse. The shoulder length mud covered hair was missing in spots. Turning the body over gently, he saw there was no face on the body. The head was nearly severed at the neck. The pale skin left on the body was covered in mud, blood and bruises.

"Sara!" Grissom closed his eyes, unable to look at the remains any longer.

"How do we know that is Sara?" Nick was angry and confronted Brass.

Brass held up a coroner's bag.

"That's how we found her. This was covering her or what's left of it. Sara came here on a call. The mud must have washed Sara, Greg and this bag down the cliff and then out of the van."

"We can do a DNA test for legal confirmation later. Let's get Sara out of here." Grissom motioned for the ambulance as he lifted the body from the muddy pool.

Nick and Warrick were concerned about the older man. Not wanting to have him watch as Sara was zipped into a body bag, they brought over a wire basket from the air rescue squad and a blanket. Grissom laid the body gently in the basket and covered her with the blanket. Nick and Warrick lifted the basket into the ambulance and helped Grissom as he climbed out of the mud. They all watched in silence as the ambulance drove away.

Brass ordered the search lights shut down.

"OK guys, thanks for your help. We are shutting it down."

He walked over and rested a hand on Grissom's shoulder. "Gil, let one of my guys drive you three back home."

Grissom nodded as grief and exhaustion washed over him. "We found her. She's not lost and alone anymore." He said to no one in particular.

The three men were silent as they drove back into Vegas and home. Each was lost in thoughts and memories of Sara.

Nick thought of her, on the recent cases they worked and going out to eat or for a beer after work. They dropped him at home.

Warrick thought back to the day he met Sara. They started as adversaries on the Holly Gribbs case but slowly became friends…..good friends. They dropped off Warrick.

Last one dropped off was Grissom.

He collapsed on his couch not caring his clothes were wet and caked with mud. Exhausted, Grissom barely closed his eyes and he was asleep. After several hours, exhaustion passed. He woke and peeled the filthy coveralls off, stretching out in bed. His dreams were of Sara. He remembered when they first met in San Francisco during a seminar. She came to all his lectures with questions, so bright and beautiful. He also remembered calling her and asking her to come to Las Vegas. Her first case for him was because another woman CSI was killed. Still it was so good to see her, be near her again. He had missed her so much…..too much.

Memories continued for him. He remembered Sara, being together on the job, at the lab and after work with Catherine, Nick, Warrick and occasionally Brass as they relaxed and ate at restaurants. No matter where or when, she had always been at his right side. There to lend a hand, voice an opinion and sometimes just being there for him.

He stirred uncomfortably as he remembered other times when Sara's temper would flare, putting her in danger. The discussions they had about the risks she took at scenes and her personal problems. He remembered Sara's requests to go out to dinner with him and more, wanting to expand their relationship. Requests he had flatly refused but had wanted very deeply. He dreamed of "what ifs." Making love to Sara and waking up with her in his arms.

Grissom slowly woke when he heard his phone and doorbell ringing. Stiff and sore all over from the days of searching, he rose, pulled on a robe and located his cell phone.

"Grissom!"

Answering the phone, he also opened his door. Warrick stood in the doorway holding his cell phone.

"It's me. Sorry, I've been calling for the last couple of hours and ringing the bell for 10 or 15 minutes. I was worried. Good thing I didn't break down your door."

"I appreciate that! Why? What time is it?"

"Six o'clock. We got dropped off this morning about 2AM. You've been asleep 16 hours. Are you OK?"

"I was exhausted, I guess. I'm sorry, Warrick. Come in! Please excuse the mess." Grissom kicked the muddy coveralls out of the way and grabbed a towel to wipe off the dried mud from his couch, so they both could sit.

"No big thing. I brought you some coffee."

"Thanks. How's Greg doing?"

"Still unconscious, but his condition is now stable. They moved him from ICU."

"That's good, he's young and strong. He'll be OK."

"That's not why I came by. I pulled Sara's file to contact her family. You are listed as her next of kin and emergency contact."

Grissom said nothing

"If you want me to back off, Griss, just say the word."

He still got no answer.

"You know I don't pay attention to Ecklie but he claims that Sara was your….girlfriend."

Warrick used a phrase much nicer than the terms and rumors currently flying around in the lab. "Was there something going on between you?"

"Not in the way you mean."

Gil got up and walked to a picture of the lab staff and night shift, including Sara. The framed picture was the only thing on his walls other than framed butterflies.

"Sara has no family and neither do I. She grew up with an abusive father and a punching bag for a mother. I can't imagine growing up like that. "

Grissom sat back down on the couch with the picture.

"I made her a promise never to tell anyone. I guess that doesn't matter anymore. When Sara was about 13, her mother finally couldn't take it anymore and stabbed her husband to death in front of Sara."

"Oh man, that's rough. I never knew but it explains a whole lot about her."

"No one knew, except me. Her mother died in prison. They could never find any aunts or uncles, so Sara went into foster care. She ran away at 17. Somehow she aced her way all through high school and got into college. I met her about 10 years ago while I when lecturing in San Francisco. Sara was brilliant, head and shoulders above the rest of the students in her class. She has always worked too hard, she had a double major back then: pre-med and physics. Later.…after we met, she dropped pre-med for forensics,became a criminalist."

"Because of you! Was she in love with you?"

Grissom was clearly uncomfortable and got up again not sure what to say.

"Ours is….was a complicated relationship; part hero worship, part surrogate father and mentor, in the beginning. Later, when she came to work for me, Sara did ask me out on more than one occasion. I may be old but I'm not blind. She is…was beautiful. I was flattered. There was an attraction for both of us, but I am almost twenty years older than Sara. I guess I was too much of a coward to open that door.….I can't believe she is gone. God, I'll miss her. Excuse me, please."

Grissom walked quickly from the room to the bathroom. Warrick heard a shower turn on. He was stunned. He knew Sara had a crush on him but had Grissom been in love with her?

As Warrick waited for Grissom to come out of the shower, he examined the photograph of the crime lab staff. It had been taken at a Christmas Party two years earlier. Grissom was sitting dead center of the group shot, with Sara seated to his right side and Catherine was on his left. Lost in thoughts of that night, Warrick was startled when Grissom's doorbell rang. He heard the sound of the shower still going and walked over to answer the door.

"Warrick?"

"Catherine! What are you doing here?"

"Where's Grissom?"

"Shower. He is taking Sara's death pretty hard."

"Well then I have some good news and some bad news."

Catherine walked over and banged on the bathroom door loudly. Grissom emerged from the steamy room but he could not and did not try to hide his red swollen eyes.

"Catherine, why are you here? Did something happen to Greg?"

"I just thought you'd like to know the body you recovered isn't Sara! She is still out there somewhere, missing and maybe seriously hurt."

"WHAT?" Both Grissom and Warrick were stunned.

"I know it was dark and you were tired but the body you found was a woman well over 50 years old, what little hair she had left was grey."

"I didn't see her hair color. The entire body was caked with mud and blood. We've got to go back to the ravine, keep looking. Sara may still be alive."

"She was not in the ravine. She never got in the van at all. Greg woke up an hour ago and said he saw Sara running down the canyon road ahead of the mud. We've already started a new search on the road three miles in each direction. Care to join us?"

"Let me get dressed, I'll be two minutes. Thank you, Catherine!"


	3. Chapter 3

A short time later as they drove to the new search site location, Grissom was on his phone.

"I want someone to check the hospitals. Yes, all of them! Check for any Jane Does. Then, I need the news stations to get the story with Sara's picture. No, don't use her CSI badge photo; use some of mine. Check in my desk, bottom left drawer. OK thanks, Nick."

Warrick and Catherine exchanged a surprised glance.

The search of the roadway turned up nothing even when Grissom expanded the search area to five miles in each direction. Everyone was frustrated and angry when the search was called off. Grissom continued to look long after the others had gone home, until he finally ran out of places to look and reluctantly went into work. He didn't even attempt to go home or rest. After his shift, he went to Desert Palms Hospital the next morning.

"Hi, Greg!"

"Grissom! They find Sara yet?"

"No, not yet. How are you feeling?"

"Sore but restless. I can't just lie here. I want to do something to help find her. It's been almost four days. She could be hurt, dying…."

"Stop it, Greg!" Grissom snapped out but then quickly changed the tone of his voice. "We are searching, the main road, the side roads and all the hospitals. We will find her."

"When?"

"Tell me again exactly what happened, Greg."

"Just as we got the body into the van and the upper cliff let go. Mud, rocks and trees were spilling onto the road. Sara ran west on the canyon road just ahead of the mud."

"West. You're sure?"

"Yeah! Look, there she is again."

They watched as Channel 8 news flashed several pictures of Sara with an 800 number to call with any information.

"I've asked the three local channels to run Sara's pictures every chance they get."

"Great pictures of Sara! Never saw her hair so short and curly. Did you get them from her family?"

"Not exactly! Look, I came by because the nurses called me. You have to follow the doctor's orders. I need you to get better. I need you back, so do what they say, please! It wasn't your fault, Greg. You did nothing wrong. You need to get well or Sara will be furious when we find her."

They continued to watch the pictures of Sara on the news.

"Find her please, Grissom. Find her! I think I'm in love with her."

Grissom closed his eyes, hoping that he might have the chance and courage to say those words to Sara too.

* * *

"Dr. Westerly, that girl on the news. I think that might be our Jane Doe."

"It's a little hard to tell, our Jane's face is still badly bruised but I think you could be right. Call that number. At least let them know we have a Jane Doe. How is she today?"

"Still unconscious! We were finally able to run more X-rays and tests but I still can't see any reason why she hasn't regain consciousness."

"I'll want to see those films. Let's go see if our Jane Doe is Miss Sara Sidle."

As they arrived on the ward, Nick Stokes argued with a nurse to let him see Jane Doe.

"Can I help you? I'm Dr. Westerly, I run this facility."

"Doctor, I'm Nick Stokes, a CSI from Las Vegas." He flashed his ID. "I was told you have a Jane Doe. We are looking for Sara Sidle. She works with us in the Vegas crime lab."

He flashed her picture. "She was last seen running on Kyle Canyon Road and has been missing for four days now. We are searching all the area hospitals."

"I think we can help you, this way Mr. Stokes."

On entering a private room, Nick walked over to the bed. "Oh my God, Sara!"

Sara's shaved head was covered in gauze; her face was a mass of cuts, scrapes and bruises. She was so pale and still, Nick walked over and had to lean down to confirm that she was still breathing. He automatically reached for her hand to touch her but also felt for her pulse. "How is she?"

"Unconscious, has been since her arrival two days ago. Most of the other injuries will heal in time. I am concerned that there might be a serious head injury. We don't really have the facilities to deal with head trauma here. I was just on my way to check on the newest X-rays."

"Let me call my boss. He will probably want Sara moved to another hospital. I'm sorry, I meant no offense, Doctor."

"None taken! This is a drug rehabilitation facility, not a hospital. I do strongly suggest someone, a specialist perhaps, review the films before any decision is made to move her."

Nick nodded and then quickly dialed Grissom. "I found her!"

"Where are you, Nick?"

"Healing Sands Sanitarium."

"What's her condition?"

"Not good. Unconscious, the doctors want someone to check her X-rays before she is moved. She does have a head injury. They think she might have some type of brain injury too."

"I'll get the head trauma surgeon at Desert Palms in a helicopter, we will be there shortly. Thank you, Nick!"

Grissom arrived by helicopter a little more than an hour later with William Morgan, the chief trauma resident at Desert Palms Hospital. The two men met briefly with Dr. Westerly to go over the medical situation. As the two doctors left to review the films taken, Grissom walked down the hall to meet Nick.

"Any change?"

"Still unconscious. It's been almost five days and that's not good."

"She's alive, Nicky. I want to go in and see her. Alone, if you don't mind."

Grissom walked in slowly. Sara laid deathly still, skull wrapped in gauze, her face a mass of cuts, scrapes and bruises. He saw more cuts and bruises on her hands, arms and legs. She was pale and her respirations were shallow. His eyes flicked to the hospital monitors; her blood pressure and heart rate were slow but steady. He cautiously touched her right hand and was relieved that the skin felt soft and warm. Gently he lifted her hand into his.

"I'm here, Sara. I thank God you're alive. I thought I'd lost you."

His hand moved to caress her face but stopped short of touching her.

"You said you'd never leave me and you don't break promises, do you?"

Nick looked through the glass on the door as Grissom sat beside Sara holding her hand.

"I don't know if you can hear me or understand but Greg is OK or will be. He punctured a lung, that's already healing. His leg is fractured but he is young, he'll be fine soon. He has just about as many cuts, scrapes and bruises as you do. You'll both heal in time."

He leaned down to kiss her hand.

"I was with him a little while ago. He is thinking of you, worried about you, Sara. He says he thinks he loves you. How could anyone not love you? Greg is who you are supposed to be with or someone like him. Someone young, who can love you…....you deserve a long happy, healthy life with someone who can give you a home, a family and everything you've never had. You weren't supposed to fall in love with me. You should be a doctor, helping the living not investigating the dead. That was my fault and I'm so sorry Sara…… I let you go once but I weakened. I should never have called you to come to Las Vegas. I told myself it was for the good of the lab and that you would never stay. I wanted to see you again, even if it was only for a short time. But you stayed. You are so brave, my beautiful Sara. You have so much to give. Somehow you managed to survive growing up in hell and become such a strong, caring woman. I still don't understand how or why you can care for me. I am such a coward. I realized that when I thought I'd lost you. You wanted me and you had the courage to tell me and asked me to be with you. I said no but you don't know how much I wanted that too, Sara. I held back, I always hold back, and not just from you. I know at the lab they call me a cold fish, with no emotions. I have them but I just can't show them to you…..to anyone. You knew that and still you have waited patiently. I love Catherine, Warrick, Nick, Greg and Jim, you are all my family. All of you mean everything to me but….Oh God Sara, I love you most of all."

Outside Nick waited impatiently, he paced the corridor until he saw Warrick arrive.

"Hey, Rick!"

"Thank God you found her, Nick." They hugged briefly. "How is she?"

"Unconscious! Hey, don't go in there. Grissom asked to be alone with her."

"Oh! OK, I understand."

"You do? Want to clue me in."

"Did you know Grissom is listed as next of kin for Sara?"

"Get out! Why?"

"She has no family, neither does he!"

"No one? I didn't know that."

"What do you know about Grissom, Nick? I've worked for him almost five years and I know zip. Do you remember when we had a case when a high school bully was killed? It turned out the guidance counselor at the school shot him to protect her students."

"Yeah, I remember the case."

"Later in the break room when we all said what we were like in high school. Know what Grissom said? He was a ghost. Man, he is still a ghost."

"What are you talking about? He's my friend. Ask me anything."

"Where did he go to school? What degrees does he have? Hell, where was he born? How old is he?"

"I……….I don't know."

"Neither do I! I never gave it a thought until I looked at Sara's file."

"You think him and Sara?"

"Who the hell knows? No, I hope so! I hope he has someone. Here come the doctors."

Warrick tapped on the glass part of the door to Sara's room to let Grissom know he was needed.

Closing the door to Sara's room as he left her, Grissom wanted answers. "Well, what's the verdict, Bill?"

"Grissom, you know as well as I do the films I saw are useless. I need a CAT Scan, probably an MRI and possibly a spinal tap before I can give you any concrete answers. I agree with Dr. Westerly, Sara doesn't need a trip in a helicopter. Any jarring movements could be dangerous."

"What do you recommend?"

"It's a 50-50 shot, Gil. We move her, she could die. We don't move her and if she has brain swelling or bleeding, she could die or worse be a vegetable for the rest of her life. We'll need to contact her family for a decision."

"I have her medical power of attorney. Sara also signed a DNR order. I have both documents at my house, so the decision is mine."

Warrick and Nick exchanged a worried look.

"What if we move her in a hallo slowly at night, late night to Desert Palms?"

"There is still a risk, Gil but a much smaller one. You know if we do nothing she could wake up on her own."

"Or not! The longer we wait if there is brain damage it may become irreversible. We'll move her tonight."

"I'll get the hallo ready and we have a special gurney and ambulance, they are yours."

"Thanks Bill, I'll see you later. Dr. Westerly I can't thank you enough for your help. The interns said you found Sara on the road and brought her here. You saved her life."

"I just wish I'd found her sooner. I hope things workout for Sara. Please let me know if I can be of any further help, Dr. Grissom."

They shook hands. Grissom quickly returned to Nick and Warrick.

"Warrick, would you please go back to Desert Palms with Dr. Morgan. He will give you a special ambulance to drive back here and some medical equipment for Sara."

"You got it." Dr. Morgan and Warrick left together.

"Nick, I'm not going to be able to cover my shift for the next few days. I need you to take over as acting night supervisor. I'll clear it with the Sheriff and get you help from days. I know it is a lot to ask but if you need any help, just call me."

"It's OK. Anything I can do for Sara."

"Thank you, Nick! Can you let Catherine and Ecklie know what's going on and please make sure that Greg knows we found Sara?"

"No sweat. Take good care of our girl."

Grissom went back in Sara's room and sat besides her again, holding her hand.

"Sara we are going to move you to Desert Palms tonight. I hope to God I am doing the right thing. I have asked one of the top neurosurgeons in the country to come and see you tomorrow. He's a college classmate of mine. He'll take good care of you. I need you to hang on, I'll be with you all the way. I want you back. I need you back, don't leave me."

Much later that night Sara was placed in a private suite at Desert Palms. She was scheduled for tests first thing in the morning. Grissom was sitting by her bedside reading to her as the Sheriff arrived.

"How is she doing, Gil?"

"We won't know anything until tomorrow, Sheriff. Can you do me a favor and keep Ecklie the hell away from here. I will cover any extra medical expenses. I just can't deal with any of his bureaucratic sermons right now. I'll be here with Sara until she wakes up. I'm pretty sure I have many unused vacation days on the books."

"Sure Gil, it may take awhile……but if we can help her in any way…."

"Absolutely. Thank you for clearing Nick as acting supervisor and for the police escort tonight for Sara. I need to get back to her now. Good night!"

The next morning Grissom woke more stiff and sore from sleeping in a hard wooden chair beside the empty space for Sara's bed. She had been gone over two hours for all the tests Dr. Morgan had ordered. Getting up to stretch, he heard a familiar voice in the hallway.

"Drew, thanks for coming on such short notice." He shook hands with his friend.

"For you, Gil, anytime! It's been what, ten years since I've seen you last, no, more like fifteen. You never come to the Harvard reunions."

"Not my cup of tea. Oh good! Let me introduce you to Dr. Morgan. Bill Morgan, this is Andrew Grady."

"No introductions needed, your reputation precedes you, Dr. Grady."

"I hope you don't mind if I consult."

"I'd welcome your help. I've just reviewed the test results and frankly I'm puzzled. I can find no reason why Sara is still unconscious. There is no trauma, none, no bleeding, no swelling. We did a spinal tap and the fluid's clear. I was thinking coma or stroke but she has no muscle weakness. I have no clue how to proceed other than to wait. I don't think doing an exploratory is the best course of action at this time."

"Was moving Sara a mistake?"

"No Gil, from the information I just heard you did the right thing. As for the rest, let me look overall the test results in greater detail. God, you look like hell. I'll bet you haven't really slept in days. Can we get a recliner or another bed brought into Sara's room for him? You've got to get some rest or I'll have two patients."

"OK Drew, thanks!"

Sara was brought back onto the floor; her entire bed was wheeled off the elevator. Grissom walked with her back to the room, as the doctors discussed her care further.

Minutes later, Dr. Grady walked to Sara's room. He was stopped just outside by Nick and Warrick.

"Dr. Grady! I'm Nick Stokes and this is Warrick Brown, we both work with Grissom and Sara. How is she?"

"I can tell you she has no brain damage. There are multiple serious cuts and bruises on her head and neck but not enough damage for her to be unconscious this long. I wish I had some better news to share with you. I am just in going to give Gil that same information. I don't think he will be very happy with me. This is the first time he has ever asked me for help with something but I can't really do anything for her….or him. It's so damned frustrating."

"You've known him, been friends for a long time, Doctor?"

"No one knows Grissom well, Mr. Stokes. We both went to Harvard. We met when he was my tutor for freshman Chemistry. I was 20 and he was probably 17 or 18. The boy genius! I wondered where he'd go, what he'd do with all his degrees. Last I heard he was teaching, at least part time, at UCLA but that was fifteen years ago. When he called me yesterday and said he runs the night shift at the Las Vegas Crime Lab, I was flabbergasted. It must be fascinating work."

He looked at Nick and Warrick.

"Working with a mind like his is a pain in the ass, isn't it?"

"Yeah!" Warrick quickly agreed.

"I understand, I've been there! He has a nearly photographic memory. He can see and recall any page of information he ever read. I remember once Gil blew one question on an Organic Chem quiz on bugs or something. He spent the rest of the semester absorbing every book in the Harvard Library on insects. I think he later got a degree in entomology. That's Grissom! He just hates to say, I don't know! I was in Sara's room briefly and saw a big bag of books. The books would be Grissom's and I'd bet money they are medical books on brain injury."

A nurse interrupted to let Dr. Grady know he had a phone call.

"I'm sorry, I've got to take this call and review some test results, excuse me please."

"Harvard! Teaching at UCLA. I knew Grissom was smart but WOW!" Nick was shocked.

"Several degrees! Boy genius huh? Now I know why Grissom never talks about himself. Who the hell would believe him? Where is he now?"

"Still with Sara! They brought her back onto the floor a little while ago."

"Let me see if he needs anything then I have to get back to the lab. With Sara and Greg out the night shift is going to be short bodies for a while. See you later, Nick?"

"Yah, I'm taking over for Grissom on the night shift again."

Warrick entered Sara's room. Grissom was in a more comfortable chair by her bedside. He had fallen asleep with a book in his lap and beside him were several more books. Warrick leaned over to scan the book titles. All of them were medical texts on brain injury. He smiled and reached over to touch his boss's shoulder lightly.

Grissom woke instantly, his eyes immediately went to scan Sara and the monitors beside her bed.

"Grissom, I've got to get back to the lab. Can I get you anything before I go?"

"No thanks, Warrick. I'm OK. The nurses bring me a tray and the food is not too horrible. I thought at first they were trying to be nice, but now I think it's their revenge. They hate me being in here all the time. I hope you have a quiet night."


	4. Chapter 4

Warrick arrived at the lab and immediately looked for Catherine.

"Hey, Rick! How's Sara?"

"No change."

"Damn it! I hope she'll be OK. I miss her. I don't know if Grissom can take this much longer."

"Cath, do you know when Grissom was born?"

"Sure, August 17, 1956. Why, Warrick?"

"I met a friend of his today. Andrew Grady, he is like one of the top neurosurgeons in the country. Went to Harvard with Grissom and he came to see Sara as a favor."

"Grissom knows the best and the brightest and most of them seem to owe him favors."

"Did you know Sara listed Grissom as her next of kin?"

"Yeah! If you check Grissom's file, Sara is listed as his next of kin and beneficiary for his life insurance policy from the county."

"Damn!!! Then he has no family, no one?"

"His choice, Warrick!"

"That's really cold, Cath! I thought he was your friend."

"I love Gil. He was the one who pushed to get me hired here in the first place over some very strong opposition. I've known him for more than ten years. Believe me I've tried to fix him up over the years. He dates occasionally but I've never seen any real interest in anybody. He is his work. He talks about nothing but bugs and bodies. I thought when Sara came, things might change but it's been business as usual as far as I know."

"I don't know, there is definitely something there. Ever notice she sometimes finishes his sentences? She somehow shows up whenever he needs an extra pair of hands."

"She is in love with him if that's what you mean. A blind man could see that with his cane. As for Grissom's side, I have no clue."

"He hasn't left her side since she was found. He's paying for any extra medical expenses."

"That's just Grissom being Grissom. He feels responsible for all of us. He cares about us, Warrick! All of us but trust me he truly has no clue how to show it. When it comes to people and playing politics, he is an idiot. Oh! By the way Gil is on vacation as of today. Ecklie told me a little while ago. Nick has been made temporary night supervisor, so we are short lots of bodies until further notice."

"I'm sorry, Cath. I can stay tonight if you need me to help get caught up. What have you got for me now?"

At the hospital, Grissom was reading but caught a small movement of Sara's hand. He was up and at her side instantly. He watched as her fingers continued to move slightly.

"Sara, honey! Wake-up. Please."

He pressed the nurse call button and then took her hand. Within a minute a nurse entered.

"Is Dr. Grady or Dr. Morgan on the floor? She moved. Sara's hand moved."

"Dr. Grady is in the staff lounge. I'll get him for you."

Andrew Grady entered the room a minute later.

"Gil, I was just coming to see you. We have been thinking about this all wrong. We all assumed it was internal brain damage that was causing Sara to remain unconscious but all the tests and scans show nothing wrong. The problem is all the cuts and bruising on her head and neck. When a person gets hurt what happens, the skin swells. The body sends blood and plasma to combat infection and start the healing process, which makes the bruise marks that we see. Multiply that process 30 or 40 times for the damage on her head and neck, that's a lot of pressure. Combine that with hypothermia and exposure, her brain shut down on overload, too many demands. Now that she is hydrated, warm and dry and as the cuts and bruises start to heal, the pressure will reduce and she'll wake up."

"Her hand just moved."

"That's good, she's fighting to come back."

Grissom exhaled the breath he had been holding. "Thank God! How long until she wakes up fully?"

"A day, maybe two or three. The last thing we need to do is rush her, force the issue."

"I don't know how to thank you, Drew. I owe you one now."

"I really didn't do anything but if you want to repay me, go home, get some sleep in a bed. Get some food, decent food. As a friend Gil, I can tell you a shower would be good."

"I can't, Sara could wake up. I want to be here, just in case. I don't want her to wake up with strangers."

Before Andrew said anything more, Nick entered the room to check on Sara and Grissom.

"Nicky, she moved! Sara is waking up."

"Way to go, Sara! Come on back to us, darlin. I was just downstairs with Greg, I can't wait to tell him so he can come up for a visit."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, gentlemen. The news is good but it could still be a few days before she wakes up fully."

The doctor saw the first signs of hope in his friend. Unwilling to dash those hopes, he did not mention all the problems her injuries might have caused.

"Sara is out of immediate danger. Nick could you do me a favor please? I want to get Gil out of this room and out of the hospital. Gil, you need to get some fresh air. Go take your hips for a walk; get your circulation going and then get a decent meal and some sleep, not naps… in a bed. NOW GIL! Doctor's orders! You can call it payment for services rendered. I'll be with Sara the whole time you're gone, I promise. "

"OK! OK! I'm going. Thanks, Drew." Grissom and Nick left reluctantly.

As they left the hospital Grissom turned to Nick. "You don't have to baby sit me, Nick. I'll get something to eat, I promise. I've got to go home, grab a quick shower and change my clothes. Maybe stretch out for an hour or two."

"You don't have your car. I'll drive you home. We can grab something on the way there. I'll even buy."

"Nick, thank you for all your help this week! It's my treat. The Palace Buffet is on the way to my house."

"Sounds good to me."

Later, as Drew Grady sat in Grissom's chair, he was soon engrossed in one of the books his friend left behind. Sara began to move her head and hands. Drew was instantly beside her. He shined a light in her eyes to check her pupil response, suddenly Sara bolted up in the bed.

"Look out!"

Drew gently restrained her.

"Easy you're OK, no one will hurt you. That's it, lay back."

He let her breathing calm down and closely watched the monitors beside her bed.

"You are in the hospital. What do you remember?"

"I was so tired, so cold. My head hurt, my lungs hurt, everything hurt! The rain and mud were everywhere. The mud kept sweeping me off the road. I think I was looking for someone or something..….but I can't remember. It was getting dark and colder. I saw a car. I'm not sure but I think I tried to flag it down. It was coming right at me. It didn't stop. The lights were blinding me…...then nothing. I woke up here. Where am I?"

"You're at Desert Palms Hospital in Las Vegas. Don't worry, you're safe now, Sara."

"Who is Sara?"

"I'm sorry, can you tell me your name?"

"No I can't…..Why can't I remember?"

Drew reached for the nurse call button and ordered some medication.

"Easy! You've been through a lot. When the mud swept you off the road did you hit your head?"

"A couple of times but it was the falling rocks and tree limbs hitting me that hurt more. All I can remember is climbing back on to the road over and over. I was so tired, so cold. I can't remember who I am or why I was out there or what I was looking for…. WHY?"

"When you were hit over and over, it may have caused a temporary loss of memory. It's not uncommon with all you've been through. Don't worry, the memory loss is almost always temporary. Try to relax, regain your strength. Are you in any pain?"

"My head hurts."

"I've sent the nurse to get you something for the pain."

"Did you say my name is Sara?"

"Yes, Sara Sidle. I know it's kind of scary not being able to remember but you have been unconscious for nearly a week. Give yourself a little time to heal and your memory will come back."

"I've been here a week? Are you my doctor? I'm sorry, I don't remember your name."

"That's because we have never met. I'm Dr. Andrew Grady and I am very glad to meet you. This will make you a little sleepy, try not to fight it."

He injected the medication into her IV.

"If you need anything, I'll probably be sitting right here and the nurses are just outside."

Sara nodded as her eyes slowly closed. Andrew debated if he should call Grissom.

"Oh God, that's good!" Grissom leaned back savoring a glass of wine. "This was a great idea."

"Glad I though of it." Nick smiled and sat down with a very full plate of food, which he attacked with gusto. "Hey, aren't you going to eat?"

"Absolutely, this is the first time I've had an appetite in days."

"I like your friend Drew. He is a good guy. You went to college at Harvard?"

"I've been to a few colleges on the east and west coasts, Nick."

"Why so many schools?"

"You have to remember, I went to college over thirty years ago. The programs they have now for forensics and criminal investigation didn't exist back then. I had to learn what I know in pieces. In some cases I created the curriculum myself and taught it. Let me see, I went to Harvard and the FBI Academy in Virginia on the east coast and then to UCLA and Berkley on the west coast."

"You were FBI?'

"No, they have the best forensics lab and behavioral science school in the US. You don't have to become an agent to go there. Say Nicky, if the waitress comes by, order me another glass of wine, I'll be right back."

Grissom returned with a very full plate of food. They ate in silence as their dinners quickly disappeared. They both lingered over dessert and coffee.

"Nick, this week must have been very hard for you. I haven't really had time to touch base with you. How are you doing? Have any problems sleeping after that horrible night?"

"I'm good, really! I went to the six weeks of counseling that Ecklie required and I'm kind of all talked out about what happened to me in that coffin."

"Nick, I was scared. I can't imagine what it was like for you. If you ever need to talk…"

"Thanks Grissom. Who listens to you? Warrick said that you don't have any family?"

"I do….you, Catherine, Sara, Warrick and Greg."

"Yah, family!" Nick couldn't say anything more for a minute. "Let me drive you home."

"Thanks Nick, I guess I'm more tired than I thought." He pushed away the second glass of wine which was still more than half full, Grissom shook his head. He couldn't believe what he just said out loud and to Nick.

At home, Grissom quickly showered and then stretched out in bed. He wanted to catch just a short nap. His plan was to return to the hospital, then sit beside Sara until she woke up fully. His head barely made contact with the pillow and he was deeply asleep through the night.

Nick finished his night shift. On the way home, he stopped by to get fresh Krispy Kreme donuts with some of the exotic coffee that Greg loved and drove to the hospital.

"Hey, Greggo! I got contraband."

"Thank God, the coffee here sucks so bad. Bless you!"

"How are you doing? Hey look no more IV's, that's great!"

"They said I could get out of bed today, in a wheelchair of course." He knocked on the full length cast on his left leg.

"Maybe I can take you up to see Sara, she is slowly waking up." He took a donut that Greg offered. "I went out to dinner last night with Grissom. Man, did you know we are his only family, he has no one else. That got to me last night, it really did. Hey, did you also know he trained with the FBI?"

"Grissom was a G Man, get out!"

"No, he was never an agent, just trained at the FBI lab."

"Quick, here comes the nurse. Hide these, Nick!"

He put the donut box in his lap and quickly covered it with his jacket.

"Well Greg, are you ready for a ride?"

"YES! I have a friend up on nine. She was hurt with me. Can I go up to see her?"

"I'll wheel him up there if it's all right." Nick placed the donuts and jacket on his chair.

"Sure but not too long. If you get tired, dizzy or there is any pain in your leg, I want you back here pronto. Understood?"

"YES M'AM!"

Nick maneuvered the wheelchair slowly, as they arrived on Sara's floor.

"Greg, remember she's still unconscious and banged up pretty bad. You sure you're ready for this?"

Greg nodded. As they entered the room, Sara was sleeping. "Her hair! They cut off her beautiful hair. What happened to her, she is one big bruise?"

"Have you looked in the mirror lately, dude? So are you! I wonder where Grissom is? He has been sleeping in that chair since Sara was found. Let me go check with Dr. Grady. You OK, Greg?"

Greg nodded but never took his eyes from Sara. When Nick left, he pushed himself as close to Sara as he could maneuver and reached for her hand.

"Hi! Damn! Even when you are unconscious I'mstill tongue tied around you. I've been trying to tell you forever how much I care about you. Maybe you might take me seriously now." Raising her hand to his lips, "I love you, Sara."

Sara slowly opened her eyes hearing the name Dr. Grady had used. "Hello."

"Hey, you're awake! How do you feel?"

"OK, my head doesn't hurt so much anymore. We look like twins, all bruises. Were you caught in mudslides too?"

"No, I decided to go mud surfing and fell off a cliff….of course I was caught in the mud slides. You were right there with me Sara, don't you remember?"

"No, I don't! I don't know you." Very agitated, Sara pulled her hand away roughly from Greg as Nick entered.

"Hey, hey, easy Sara! We just got you back. We've all been worried about you, darlin."

"I don't know you, either of you. I'm not your Sara. GO AWAY! I need to get out of here."

She tried to get out of bed as Grissom and Dr. Grady arrived at the room separately.

"Nick, get Greg out of here, NOW!" Grissom crossed to Sara and gently stopped her from trying to get out of bed. She leaned back against the pillows totally exhausted. "I'm sorry they frightened you. Please it is all right, they have gone. You don't have to go."

Drew Grady was stunned at how quickly Grissom's voice had changed and it was a tone of voice from his friend that he had never heard before.

"Please, you need to stop moving or you might pull out the IV and your head will start to hurt again. That's it relax, close your eyes. I know you are scared but no one will hurt you. I'll be right here with you. Don't worry."

"Your ….voice! I remember your voice."

"I've been reading to you since you've been in the hospital."

"Do I know you? Should I know you?"

"There's time enough for that when you are stronger. Now you need to sleep. You must be very tired, please rest."

Sara had been holding his hand tightly, as she slowly drifted back to sleep, her grip loosened. Drew was stunned to see Grissom kiss her hand, then he pulled the covers back up around her.

"Thank God you read fast, Gil. That was a quick catch, never used her name."

"Traumatic amnesia?"

"I'm thinking retrograde. She woke up yesterday afternoon after you left…...but she went right back to sleep. She remembered the rain, the mud and almost being hit by a car on the road. Sara also confirmed being swept off the road several times and rocks in the mud hitting her."

"Damn! I knew I never should have gone home yesterday. This might not have happened if I was here." Grissom hovered over the bed and scanned all the monitors.

"She doesn't remember you, Gil. Stop beating yourself up! I know you're concerned because Sara works for you but she is not your responsibility." Suddenly he stopped. "Oh, my God! You're in love with her! You would never have called me otherwise. I'll be a son of a bitch! When I think of all the women who threw themselves at you at Harvard and you never gave them the time of day. Welcome to the human race, Grissom."

"Oh grow up, Drew! That was thirty years ago. Yes, I'm concerned for Sara, she nearly died on the job, working for me."

"You keep telling yourself that, Gil." He patted his friend's shoulder. "I'm afraid I'm not really able to do anything more to help Sara. You need an amnesia specialist. Let me check around and I'll get some names for you. Then I really do have to get back to Boston. Now that I've found where you have been hiding, next time I have some vacation time expect to see me. I really want a look at this lab of yours."

"I'll look forward to it. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your coming here, Drew. Can you stay with Sara for a few minutes? I need to go check on Greg."

"Sure, no problem, Gil."

Grissom arrived in Greg's room moments later.

"Grissom, Sara doesn't remember me. I scared her."

"Easy guys! Sara doesn't remember any of us right now. We need to give her time to heal and hopefully her entire memory will come back. I know this hurts but think, Greg! We nearly lost her. Even if she never remembers us, she is alive. Right now I'll look for a doctor, a specialist in amnesia to help Sara try and get her memory back. Guys, this may take time, maybe a long time. In the meantime, the doctors said you are well enough to travel, Greg. I called your parents and they have arranged to take you home. They will be here later this morning. When you're feeling better, I want you back. OK?"

Greg nodded as Grissom walked over to Nick. "Can you stay with him until they arrive?"

"Sure boss. Thanks!"

Grissom returned to Sara's room. Drew had his jacket on and his flight bag all ready.

"There you are! I hate to run but I can catch a noon flight back to Boston. And here is a gift for you; the list of specialists I promised you is inside. Gil, it was great to see you. Please keep in touch. I want to know how Sara is. Sorry if I teased you before. If Sara makes you happy, then go for it old friend. You deserve it!"

He hugged Grissom, who was shocked at the gesture. After Drew left, Grissom looked at the book title. Amnesia – New Theories and Treatments. Inside is a list of specialists, one was highlighted in nearby Henderson, Nevada.

"Thanks, Drew!"

Grissom returned to Sara's room and packed up the medical books on brain injury he had been reading but dropped one. When he bent to pick it up Sara opened her eyes.

"Is there someone here?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I dropped my book."

"I remember you from before. Are you my doctor?"

"Are you in pain? I can get your doctor."

"No don't go…I'm….I don't like to be alone."

"Well then, I won't leave you."

"You said you read to me. What are you reading now?"

"This is just a boring medical book. I can get something else from the hospital library."

"Maybe later! There are no clocks in here. What time is it?"

"Nearly noon, are you hungry?"

"Yes but I wasn't sure if I'm allowed to eat."

Grissom pushed the call button and a nurse arrived almost immediately

"We have a hungry patient. Can you get her something very light, some soup or maybe just broth, please?"

"I'll have to check with Dr. Morgan."

"I'm sure it will be fine and I'll have some soup too, please. Thank you!"

When Grissom turned back to Sara, she was looking around the room.

"What is it? Did you need something else?"

"There are no mirrors. Do I ……look horrible?"

"No, you do have a lot of cuts and bruises but they are healing and will be gone in a few more days. Let me show you." He brought a small hand held mirror from the bathroom.

"Wait!"

Sara took his other hand. It was a simple gesture but Grissom felt as if he had been struck by lightning. His left hand was not quite steady as he raised the mirror for Sara.

"OH GOD! I have no hair. How can you stand to look at me?"

"Please, don't be upset. The bruises will heal, your hair will grow back and you will be as beautiful as ever in no time."

"Thank you, you're very kind and patient with me. I know I am lucky to be alive but it is just so…….."

"Frustrating, everything seems just beyond your reach?"

"Yes! You do understand. I feel so bad I can't remember who you are.......I'm sorry, I can't remember your name."

"Grissom. Gil Grissom"

"Gil, you knew me before the accident and we were friends?"

"Yes! We all worked together, you and me, Nick and Greg, Catherine and Warrick. Nick and Greg were the two men in here earlier. I'm sorry they scared you, we didn't know your memory was affected. They have been worried about you, we all have. Here's your lunch."

Sara had trouble using the spoon with the IV, so Grissom poured the broth into a cup.

"Be careful, it's hot! Go slowly."

It took several minutes for her to drain the cup and the effort made her sleepy.

"Are you tired now?"

"I can't stay awake for very long, I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you are healing, so you need rest. I'll be nearby when you wake up again."

Grissom stepped out to make a call to Dr. Oliver in Henderson; the local specialist on the list Drew had given him. He explained Sara's accident and her current condition. The doctor agreed to stop by, talk to Sara see if she felt comfortable with him. If she agreed, he would accept her as a live in-patient when she was released from Desert Palms. Grissom walked back into the room, sat in his usual chair and was soon engrossed in the book Drew gave him on amnesia as Sara slept. Much later she woke suddenly, as if from a bad dream.

"Gil?'

"I'm here, Sara!" He cursed under his breath for using her name automatically.

"It's OK! I know my name is Sara. I just don't remember who Sara is yet." She saw two men stand outside the room. "I think that someone wants you, Gil."

Nick and Warrick waited outside the room. Grissom stepped outside.

"I wasn't sure if we should come in after what happened earlier. I just wanted to let you know that Greg left the hospital with his folks a little while ago."

"Thanks, Nick. Greg was so upset. I hope he'll be OK. Warrick, how's the lab doing with everyone out?"

"We're getting it done, don't worry."

"I've arranged for a doctor from Henderson to come and talk to Sara. He will hopefully accept her as a live-in patient at his private clinic. I've also requested to get temporary replacements for Sara and Greg. Then maybe things will get back to normal. Thank you for all your hard work and help these last two weeks, both of you."

"Gil? Is there anything wrong?" Sara called out from her bed.

"She remembers you?"

"No, Warrick. Come in, maybe seeing some other faces might help her remember."

"Hey, Sara!"

"This is Warrick"

"Hi, Sara!"

"And this is Nick"

"I'm sorry that I yelled at you earlier, Nick."

"It's OK. I'm just glad you're feeling better, Sara."

"Hey Boss, we've got to go. I just stopped by for a minute to say goodbye to Greg. See you later, Sara." Warrick left the room followed by Nick.

"Goodbye?" Sara was puzzled and looked to Grissom to clarify.

"Greg's doctors said he could go home. A hospital is a terrible place to be stuck in for eight to ten weeks. That's how long they said it might be for his leg to heal. I called his parents and they arranged to have him recuperate at home."

"You sound like a great boss."

"You called me an insensitive idiot once."

"Really? And you didn't fire me?"

"I tend not to fire people for telling the truth. I'm not really good with people."

"You're good to me. You spend your whole day here with me, talking and reading to me."

"Just returning the favor for all the times you've been there for me."

Grissom was suddenly filled with an intense need to hold Sara. He took a step towards the bed but then quickly retreated to his usual chair.

"I was able to locate a private clinic with a doctor who specializes in memory loss. His name is Dr. Oliver and he will be by to see you in the next day or so. His clinic is not far from here."

"Are you going to be there, Gil?"

"That will be up to your doctor. If he will allow me to see you, I'll be there….and Nick and Warrick and Catherine."

"I know you have to go back to work and I've taken up all your time this week, Gil. Do you have to send me away?"

"No, No! Oh God, Sara! I am not sending you away. I want you to get well and remember who you are. I'm hoping you'll come back to me……to all your friends soon." Uncomfortable with what he had just said, Grissom quickly changed the subject. "Would you like some dinner now?"

"I'm not hungry. I'm kind of tired, I think I'll take a nap."

A few hours later Sara woke again. "Don't you ever sleep? Now what are you reading, another medical book?"

"No, Shakespeare! The Sonnets, to be exact. Would you like to hear my favorite?" At her nod he began to read. "When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes I all alone beweep my outcast state, and trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries and look upon myself and curse my fate, wishing me like to one more rich in hope, featured like him, like him with friends possessed. Desiring this man's art and that man's scope, with what I most enjoy contented least; yet in these thought myself almost despising, haply I think on thee, and then my state, like to lark at break of day arising from sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate; for thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings, that I scorn to change my state with kings."

She watched fascinated as he stopped reading half way through and recited the rest of the sonnet from memory. "It is wonderful, Gil…..sad and happy at the same time."

"Are you still upset with me?"

"I'm sorry, I know I have no right to be angry with you. It's just that everyone else is a stranger. You are the only one who hasn't left my side and now I feel like I'm going to loose you too. I'm feeling sorry for myself. Gil, please just ignore me."

Grissom again felt a wave of need to hold her but stayed seated far away.

"You're entitled to your feelings. I can't imagine how hard this last week has been for you. I wish I could do more to help you. Are you hungry now?"

"Yes, please! Will you read to me some more after dinner?"

"Absolutely!"

As each day passed Sara got a little stronger. Dr. Oliver came by to meet her and arranged for the transfer into his care when she was released. By the next week's end Bill Morgan had agreed to discharge his patient. Grissom arrived with Dr. Oliver's assistant and a wheel chair. He wheeled Sara to the first floor to get her discharged to the clinic.

"So this is good-bye, Gil."

"Not good-bye, Sara. Never good-bye! I will see you again but exactly when I don't know. That will be up to your doctor. If he let's me see you, I'll be there every chance I get. I promise you that. Until then, this is for you….to remember me by."

He helped her out of the wheelchair and opened the clinic's van door, then gave her a book of Shakespeare's sonnets.

"You've been so kind to me, Gil. I'm going to miss you so much."

Sara hugged him as tightly as she could. Grissom was frozen. The sensation of holding her in his arms felt so right. He knew he should let her go but his mind and body wouldn't obey that command and he continued to hold her tightly. Then Sara's lips grazed Grissom's cheek and he suddenly felt the heat of need rising and quickly pulled away from her.

"Be well and be happy, Sara……until I can see you again." He helped her into the van.

"Bye, Gil."

Grissom waited until the van drove away then all but ran down the two flights of stairs to the hospital garage and his van. Once inside he rested his head on the wheel and tried in vain to forget the feeling of Sara in his arms, her lips all but branded into his skin. When he could catch his breath and his emotions settled somewhat, he started the van and slowly and pulled out of the garage. He drove to the lab for a meeting scheduled at the lab with the Sheriff and Ecklie about getting replacements for Sara and Greg, at least temporarily.


	5. Chapter 5

"Gil, welcome back. Sara all settled in?"

"Hello, Sheriff! Yes, the clinic van just picked her up at the hospital. "

"Sorry to make you come in early on your first full day back but with the loss of Sara and Greg for the foreseeable future, we need to get replacements and very quickly. I've had Conrad look over the resumes we've received. He is waiting for us in his office."

"Ecklie!" Grissom barely nodded as he sat facing Conrad Ecklie.

"Grissom." Ecklie did not look up and continued. "I've sorted the resumes into three piles. These are for immediate offers. These are backups, if the original offers don't pan out."

Grissom quickly scanned the files of those who would get an offer. "Waste of time! You'll never get any of these people with the kind of salary we can offer." He looked through the second batch of files as Ecklie fumed. "I've already had phone interviews with two of these people, I'd make them offers. Where are the others, Conrad? The director of the FBI Academy faxed me a resume for a Mike Dunlop, I don't see it here."

"His file is with the other rejects."

Grissom continued to hold out his hand until the reject pile was given to him.

"Dunlop dropped out, never graduated. City regulations require a bachelor degree."

"Oh for god's sake Conrad, he is two classes short of his degree. Look at his grades, tops in his class in Forensics and Behavioral Science and he worked in the FBI Lab."

"He is a discipline case, struck a teacher. Look at all his demerits and his personality profile. The last thing we need here is another loose cannon with an attitude problem."

Grissom's eyes changed from blue to an icy grey at the veailed insult to Sara. "If you bothered to read the complete file, the teacher was a bully and hit him first. He was later dismissed from the Academy. Mike has a problem with following orders blindly and he dislikes the chain of command. In case you haven't noticed, Conrad…..so do I! Sheriff, I would like to interview this young man, with your permission of course."

"We need at least two warm bodies ASAP. You two work it out. Conrad you pick one and Gil gets to pick one. Try to play nice you two." Rolling his eyes the Sheriff left.

Later that week Grissom arrived early for his interview with Mike Dunlop. He was surprised to find someone already waiting in his office as he arrived and that he was looking all around. "Mr. Dunlop? You're early! I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. Excuse me but how did you get in here?"

"I wanted a chance to look around. Great set up in the Lab but your security truly sucks. You have an interesting office, Sir." He sat across from Grissom without waiting to be asked and tried to pass him a resume.

"Mike, you're out of the Academy now. You don't have to call me Sir. Most people just call me Grissom. The Academy director faxed me your complete file and academic record. He is an old friend and former classmate of mine."

"Wait a minute. You're THAT Grissom? Class of 79. Saint Genius, with a list of degrees and books longer than the Vegas Strip?"

Grissom nodded but looked uncomfortable. "Well, dip my hand in gold, I just shook hands with a legend…..and I am so out of here!" Mike got up and started to leave.

Grissom was both amused and intrigued by the young Mr. Dunlop. All his degrees and the books he had written usually overly impressed most people.

"Sit down! Rumors of my genius and sainthood are greatly exaggerated. Ninety percent of the people we hire, quit or are fired within the first three months. Mike, trust me, I have no problem with bouncing you out of here on your ass if you screw up. Are we clear?"

"Yeah."

"Besides, I'm not your problem. Here he comes now. Hello, Conrad! This is Mike Dunlop."

Mike automatically stood up almost at attention. It was a force of habit.

"Mr. Dunlop, good afternoon! I'm the temporary day shift supervisor Conrad Ecklie and administrator of this facility." They shook hands. "The position of CSI trainee normally requires a bachelor's degree. If you come to work for us, it would be provisional that you complete your degree immediately."

"Understood, Sir, I appreciate the opportunity." Grissom hid his snicker with a cough.

"Well then, I'll let Dr. Grissom fill you in on what's expected of you. Good to meet you."

As Ecklie left, Mike sat back down. "He's a real tool! What is he, like the mayor's brother-in-law or something? Please say that he doesn't train the new people."

"On occasion but if you are hired, you'll be my trainee, working on the night shift and going to classes days."

"I stopped by UNLV on my way here. I can pick up the two classes I need for my degree next semester, which starts in about a week but I'm not sure I want the job."

"I haven't offered you the job yet. Let me tell you something about it and then you can decide if you can handle it. As a trainee, you do nothing but scut work, bagging, tagging, taking notes. Forget what you think you know. You watch not just what we do but how we do it; as you learn how to collect, dust, photograph and document crime scenes. This is not just about catching a suspect but making sure we get a conviction. So you'll also need to develop skills on how to interpret the information and that skill only comes with time and practice, lots of practice. This job can be deadly dull or very dangerous and it can switch from one to the other in a heartbeat. I have to warn you in the last few years one CSI was killed, shot by a suspect hiding at a crime scene. Another CSI was buried alive as payback by someone he put in jail. We found him…..but just barely in time." Grissom paused to let that sink in. "Recently, we lost a van during a mudslide in the mountains. The two CSI agents in the van were found but both will be out 3 to 6 months recovering. Still interested?"

Grissom made it a challenge and looked at Mike waiting for an answer.

"I can handle it."

"I hope you can, Mike. I need people badly. You can start Monday, if you want the job."

Mike nodded, not really sure how or when he changed his mind about Grissom and the job.

"Good! There are three shifts but when things get backed up or go crazy, you work until the job is done. Right now Conrad has the day shift from 7AM until 4PM. Catherine Willows is the swing shift supervisor from 4PM to 11PM. She will be coming in shortly and I'll introduce you. I run the graveyard shift 11PM to 7AM. Due to the accident I mentioned, I am still borrowing people from other shifts for now. I'll have all trainees beginning on Monday."

"Let me guess, you pissed off Mr. Ecklie one too many times?"

Grissom did not answer but was amazed at how quickly Mike understood the dynamics at the lab and how well he read people.

"You'll meet the other new trainees on Monday night. Any questions?"

"I need to find a place. I've been living in my car more or less for the last month. Any recommendations?"

"One of the injured CSI agents has a furnished apartment. I told Sara I would take care of it while she's in the hospital. I haven't had a chance to sublet it. So it's yours for now, if you want it. I can show you where it is in a little while. I need to pack up some of her clothes and personal things."

"Yah OK, but I'm kind of broke right now. How much is it a month?"

"We can workout something later….that is if you last on the job. Come on, I just heard Catherine come in."

"Hey, Grissom! You're here early. Oh right, the interview is today."

"Hi, Catherine! This is Mike Dunlop."

Mike hid his shock pretty well. The woman before him looked more like a showgirl than a scientist. Grissom, as always, was amused when people first met Catherine.

"Hi, Mike. Another lamb to the slaughter or is this one your black sheep, Grissom?"

"I'm not as baaaad as they say." Mike flashed a flirting smile.

Catherine was also amused. "Very good! Just what we need around here, another smartass."

"Warrick Brown, Nick Stokes, this is Mike Dunlop." They shook hands. "I'm going to take him to Sara's place. He needs a place for now and I'd rather not have a complete stranger living there while she is gone."

"She moved to the clinic today? How is she doing?"

"Physically, she is much better. I'll call Dr Oliver in a few days. See if he can give me any idea when we can go visit her. Catherine, I'll be back to help you guys out because I'll really need some help later. I am on alone tonight unless someone kindly volunteers to help me."

"Can I tag along tonight?" Mike stepped forward. "I mean I know I can't do anything but I'd like a look at what I'm getting myself into."

"Good idea, Mike! You can follow me to Sara's apartment, then you can shadow me tonight."

Nick and Warrick watched Grissom and Mike leave.

"Poor kid!"

"Yeah, Gris will eat him alive. He can be brutal if you piss him off or try to showoff."

"Well we will have a long night but an easy one. Grissom will take all the scut cases."

With a high five, they walked back to the break room.

Mike returned to his borrowed apartment, shocked it was only 12 hours later. Once Grissom drove away, he sank to the apartment's entrance top step. He thought back on the very long night he felt sure would live in his memory for years to come. He learned more, saw more and handled more evidence in one night than in all his years at the academy. He was hungry, tired, sore and smelled from many things he would truly like to forget. He wanted a shower and then something to eat before he could even think about unpacking and stocking his place, no Sara's place. That was one thing he had learned about Grissom. Sara was special to him. Mike had watched him the previous night as Grissom packed some of her clothes and personal things. There wasn't much else in the apartment, lots of books, a TV, a police scanner and her computer. Whoever this Sara was, she sure traveled light. The only picture he saw in her apartment was a group shot of the team and lab staff at a Christmas Party. The beautiful blond woman Catherine was sitting on Grissom's left and a pretty brunette was on his right side. Was that Sara? What was her relationship to Grissom? Even Mike did not have the guts to ask him. Grissom was just one big puzzle and he just loved to solve puzzles.

Mike slowly got up and used his new key to open the apartment door. Several boxes and all his clothes had been deposited on Sara's couch last night, they still needed to be unpacked. Mike walked past all his things and stepped into the shower fully clothed. Instantly the smell of lemons hit him. The lemon soap and lemon shampoo soon cut through the powerful and unpleasant odors of the previous night. "Thank you Sara, whoever you are."

Wrapped in one of her towels, which also smelled of lemons, Mike stretched out on the bed. He thought about his first night as a CSI trainee. Two things were perfectly clear. Grissom was a genius and a damned good teacher but also someone he did not want to piss off again. And two, he could hardly wait until Monday night. It would be his first official day of work as a CSI trainee.

"Hey Mike! You're early. You survived Friday and came back for more?"

"Yes, Mrs. Willows, it was an experience. I think I learned more in the 12 hours I was with Grissom than I did in the whole time I was in Virginia."

"Just call me Catherine. He's the best, Mike. He helped train me, Nick and Warrick."

"And Sara?"

"Yep! Your teacher will be a little late tonight. Grissom was called in over the weekend to consult on a special case in New Mexico. He said he would be flying in tonight around midnight." Mike grabbed a can of soda as Warrick entered the break room.

"Hey, Mike! The trainees are all in the evidence room. Head in, I'll be there in a minute." He waited for Mike to leave before continuing.

"Cath! Grissom just called, he is still in New Mexico. Missed his flight home, so he won't be in until 5AM tomorrow. Someone has to baby sit the trainees and cover the night shift."

"Great!"

"It gets better. Ecklie just told me that the other new guy, Alex took a job in LA. Another one bites the dust. Grissom was right again. He said Alex wouldn't stay and he thinks Chandra isn't cut out for field work."

"Damn it! He is almost always right. Nicky is out on a case right now, Rick. You take the trainees as planned. Walk them through getting their field kits and cars set up. Gil wanted to go over the chain of evidence procedures tonight. Let's play it by ear, see what the night brings. I guess I'm pulling another double, yippee!"

After a very long night, Catherine drove to the airport to pick up Grissom. "Hey, Grissom!" Catherine called out from her van in the pickup lane shortly after 5AM.

"Thanks for the ride. Sorry for the delay but I brought you a souvenir."

"Oh you shouldn't have. What is it?"

"Catherine, meet David Blackfeather. David, meet Catherine Willows."

"Hello. Well, get in!" Catherine smiled as Grissom climbed in followed by David.

"David was a part-time lab assistant in Santa Fe. He needs a few more classes for his degree in Forensics. They don't offer the classes he needs at Santa Fe University. I figured since they bent the rules for Mike……well we need the help. Right?"

"And it will really piss off Ecklie."

"Life sometimes gives us little bonuses."

"I assume you've heard, Alex picked the job in LA."

"I knew he wouldn't stay. Ecklie picked him not me. I'm afraid Chandra won't stay either, at least not in the field. I am going to try to steer her into the lab."

"Where do you want me to drop you, Gil?"

"Oh sorry, Cath! My car is at the lab. Let me think, it's 6 AM. I need to talk to Mike. I want to see if there is another apartment open in Sara's building. Then Mike and David can pair up and help each other out as they learn their way around Vegas."

"Sounds like a plan." Catherine pointed as they passed by the famous sign that welcomed visitors to Las Vegas. "Welcome to Sin City, David!"

"Cool!"

Catherine and Grissom both smiled at his first word. They soon arrived at the lab.

"Mike, I'm glad I caught you. This is John Blackfeather. He will be taking Alex's place as a trainee. Do you know if there are any empty apartments where you are staying?"

"The sign out front said no vacancy when I left this morning but he can crash with me for now." He spoke directly to John. "The place is a little small but I'm hardly ever there."

"Cool, thanks."

"I can drive you there now, John…...Unless you need me for something else, Catherine?"

"No, school's out. Have fun kids."

The two young men walked towards Mike's car as Grissom turned back to Catherine.

"Mike calls you Catherine now?"

"That is my name. Oh chill out, Grissom!" She laughed at the stunned look on his face.

"How did things go in New Mexico?"

"I could only give them an estimated time of death, five months ago. Not much left to work with, even most of the bugs had departed what was left of the corpse."

"Another unsolved case?"

"Barring some new evidence, yes! Sorry about last night. I thought I had a lead but it didn't pan out. Then I missed the early plane home but I was able to acquire John."

"What's another double shift between friends?" She yawned. "However, if you'll excuse me, Dr. Grissom. I am going home to get some sleep." Catherine put on her sunglasses and got back into her van.

"Thank you, Mrs. Willows! No double tonight, I promise." Grissom walked into the lab to finish the shift and get caught up on paperwork.

Mike drove home slowly but no longer needed maps to get to his temporary apartment without getting lost. He pointed out a few things to John on the short ride home.

"That is all your stuff?" Mike pointed to the duffle bag in the back seat.

"That's it." John got out of the car and grabbed his bag.

"Well, welcome home. I'm Mike Dunlop by the way. This isn't even my place. I'm sort of borrowing it from another CSI, Sara Sidle. She's in the hospital, hurt in an accident. Be it ever so humble. I'll get another key made for you." He opened the door to the tiny apartment. "At least the couch is comfortable and the TV works. Come in."

Mike grabbed John's bag and nearly dropped it. "Good God! What's in this thing rocks?"

"Books. I am working on my degree in Forensics. Need a few more classes. They weren't offered at Santa Fe University."

"Hot damn! So am I. I have all the course information from UNLV. They offer some great courses courtesy of Dr. Grissom."

"He is a CSI and a teacher?"

"No but he wrote or edited half the books we use, designed most of the curriculum and occasionally does guest lectures at UNLV. We are working for the #1 guy when it comes to Forensics. Man, just don't ever piss him off. I did and let's just say it was not pretty."

John stifled a yawn.

"Sorry, you must be exhausted. You want the bed for now?"

"Couch is fine but I could use a shower."

"Right this way. Sara has this great lemon soap and shampoo."

"Lemon kills all smells. Working with the dead, lemons, real lemons are the only thing that will wash away the smell of decomposing flesh and fats. Smart lady!"

"I can help you unpack later. Oh, there is a laundry room for the complex tenants; if you need it, which I do. But sleep now, laundry later." Stripping off his shirt Mike crashed on the bed. "Welcome to Las Vegas. Goodnight, David."


	6. Chapter 6

Later that afternoon, Mike woke to the sound of a kettle whistle. He walked into the kitchen rubbing his eyes.

"Wow, you have been busy."

All John's books were stacked neatly over the computer and his clothes were all washed and hung on a hook on the living room door. The kitchen and living rooms had been cleaned and swept.

"I don't have much cash but I got a jar of instant coffee and some edibles. The cupboard was pretty bare. I had to throw out some things in the fridge that had gone bad."

"Sara was hurt about three weeks ago. I moved in on Saturday myself. Thanks for the hand. I've been meaning to do some cleaning. I'm not usually this sloppy but I'm still getting used to working nights and learning my way around Vegas by car. I can bring you to and from work and UNLV, at least until you get a car. Hey, maybe we'll be taking some of the same classes."

"Want some?" John held up a Cheerios box. I looked through your UNLV catalog. I need three classes for my degree. So I think we will be taking at least one class together."

"Cool." Mike opened cabinet doors and drawers until he found a bowl and a spoon.

Arriving at the Lab later that night, Grissom's door was closed. So John and Mike waited in the break room until he came to get them.

"Good evening, gentlemen. Chandra won't be joining us. She has decided to work in the lab. We have several calls, shall we begin?"

Grissom's nights were full of training and work but sleep never came easily after his shift. He had heard nothing from Dr. Oliver on Sara's progress and was worried why all his calls were not being returned. Grissom was torn by the fact Sara would recover but that she'd never remember him or worse….that she would.

Finally, after nearly a month with vague answers at best, Grissom drove unannounced to Dr. Oliver's clinic. He had to know how Sara was doing. Once parked at the main building he was quickly shown into Dr. Oliver's private office. He did not have to wait very long for the doctor to arrive.

"Dr. Oliver, I've made several calls in the last three weeks but I get the same message, that now is not the time for a visit. I am not asking you for a definitive answer when….or if I'll get Sara back. I just need to know she is well and that some progress is being made."

"Mr. Grissom, Sara is fully recovered physically and has made excellent progress with her memory loss. She fully remembers Greg and the accident now. She also remembers Nick. Sara told me about his own horrifying ordeal with death which apparently occurred shortly before her accident. Her memories of Catherine and Warrick are still somewhat sketchy. However, what puzzles me most is that she remembers nothing about you. I t was my understanding that she has known you the longest. Also curious is the fact she has been looking forward to seeing Gil again. Yet she does not connect you as Gil with her old friend Grissom. Is there some reason she would not want to remember her past with you?"

Grissom was silent.

"I can see you are a private man and discussing this is difficult for you. I need to understand your relationship with her in the past and now. I am trying to understand why Sara waits so impatiently to see Gil but has no memory of Grissom. May I ask you how and when you first met Sara?"

"Ten years ago. I was lecturing at Berklee, Sara was pre-med. Forensic lectures are required for all pre-med students. She was a brilliant student. Staring out at a sea of blank or bored faces year after year makes finding a student like Sara worth all the tedium. I perhaps gave her too much attention after my lectures. She may have misinterpreted my attention for something else. It has occasionally happened to me in the past that students develop a crush. It's an occupational hazard for a teacher. Sara suddenly dropped all her other courses and switched to Forensics. She became a criminalist and later came to work for me at the Las Vegas Crime Lab."

"I see."

"NO, YOU DON'T!" Dr. Oliver was stunned by Grissom's sudden anger. "I'm sorry. I never asked her or wanted her to do that. I swear I never encouraged Sara in any way. Later, after she changed her major, I assumed it was just another school girl crush. The reality of our job and working with me everyday would soon remove any romantic haze."

"I take it that's not how it worked out."

"No." Grissom walked to the window.

"Are her feelings towards you unwelcome or are they just not reciprocated?"

"Please don't analyze me, Dr. Oliver. Her feelings were and are inappropriate. I an nearly 20 years older than she is. I was her teacher and now I'm her supervisor. My feelings about Sara are irrelevant. She has worked for me for the last few years. Sara has asked me out on several occasions. I've told her many times to find someone closer to her own age."

"I see. Did she understand and accept your request and your reasons?"

"Understand yes, accept no. Sara can be very stubborn. She said she would wait for me to change my mind. Waiting, that is how things remained …until she was hurt."

"Thank you, Mr. Grissom. I know that was uncomfortable for you. I just have one more question. Are you in love with her?"

With a disgusted look, Grissom walked out of the office and the building.

He arrived at his own office a short time later, Grissom listened to his many phone messages.

"Mr. Grissom, this is Mark Oliver. I'm sorry if I upset you earlier. You left before I could ask you if Catherine, Nick and Warrick would agree to see me. As Sara has no living family, I'm hoping they might help fill in some blanks, at their convenience of course. Also the information we discussed was extremely helpful. If you would like to come back again to see me, I would greatly appreciate your assistance with Sara's recovery."

Grissom leaned his elbows on the desk and rubbed his temples. The migraine headache that had been threatening all day suddenly hit him full force as Catherine opened his office door.

"Grissom? You're in early? God, you look like hell. What are you doing here? You've got a migraine, go home!"

"I left my pills here, Catherine. The headache just hit full force." He popped a pill.

"Let me drive you home. What brought this on, another fight with Ecklie?"

"Just get me home. No questions, please?"

"OK, sure. Come on."

Grissom put on his darkest glasses and walked to her van. They were both silent as she drove. He was deathly pale and rested head back with eyes closed the entire way.

"You need a hand getting in?"

"No. Thanks, Catherine. I'll call you if this doesn't go away by tonight. Oh yeah, Dr. Oliver called! He wants to talk to you and Nick and Warrick. Here is his card."

"You went to see Sara? How is she?"

"I just talked to Dr. Oliver. Call him, OK?"

She watched as he unlocked his door and went inside. "Well, now I know what brought on the headache."

Using her cell phone, Catherine called Dr. Oliver and arranged to meet him the next day.

Nick and Warrick also went to see Dr. Oliver and visit with Sara. She remembered them and also more and more of her past as each day passed.

A few weeks later the clinic was having an open house. Catherine arranged for Nick, Warrick, John and Mike to visit Sara. There was a softball game, the staff versus patients. The game had already begun when Catherine's van pulled into the visitor's parking lot. Sara played shortstop for the patient team. She caught a soft liner and began a double play that ended the first inning. The CSI staff erupted into wild applause for her. Sara turned to see them. Smiling, she walked over to greet Nick, Warrick and Catherine, who introduced her to Mike and John. Sara didn't say anything but they all saw that she was looking for Grissom and appeared very hurt that he had not come to see her.

"I've got to get back on the field, I bat next." She walked away looking for Grissom over her shoulder.

The CSI staff all settled on folding chairs to watch the game but each had similar thoughts. Where was Grissom? Why was he ignoring Sara?

As the game continued, Grissom arrived but bypassed the visitor's parking lot and drove directly to Dr. Oliver's private office.

"Thank you for seeing me again, Mr. Grissom. Sara's memory of the last few years is almost complete. It is her childhood and adolescence that continues to elude her and of course her memory of you. Did Sara ever confide in you about her childhood?"

"I was hoping she wouldn't have to remember it, it was a nightmare. I don't see the need to tell her."

"Memory creates who we are for better or worse. Her childhood made Sara the woman who she is today. I have the police reports and child services records. I know the facts. What I need to learn is how she felt, where she went and what she did. Basically, how she survived alone when she ran away from her last foster home. She was just 17, that's awfully young to be on your own."

Remembering how he felt out on his own at that age, Grissom nodded. "I agree but I have no idea how she survived until I met her at SFU. She never told me."

"And you never asked her?"

"Why ask her to remember things she obviously wants to forget. The past can't be changed and in Sara's case is better forgotten. I've also done extensive reading in Psychology. It is not always the best course to dredge up a violent and painful past."

Grissom walked to the office window that had a clear view of the softball game. His back was to Dr. Oliver. Grissom smiled as he saw Sara playing short stop. That was her usual spot for the CSI softball team. She looked like Sara again, healthy, strong and smiling. Only the baseball cap, that hid her still too short hair, was the last physical reminder of the accident.

"I am aware of your degrees, Dr. Grissom but I've found in every case of memory loss, a person or an event is the block and even the cause of the loss. I believe you are the cause of Sara's memory loss……Sara loves you, whether you wish it or not. I do understand and even applaud your decision not to pursue a relationship when she was younger but she is no longer a vulnerable girl in her early twenties. She is a mature woman turning 30 soon." He paused for a reaction, getting none he continued. "Gil was there when Sara needed him the most. He held her hand, read to her, cared for her. Make no mistake; her love for you is real. Perhaps subconsciously she transferred her feelings for you Dr. Grissom to Gil, since you cannot or will not return her love. Until she can remember Gil Grissom as one man, the healing process will not be complete. I am sorry to have to ask you this again but your answer is most important. Are you in love with Sara?"

"There are many kinds of love.......and love isn't always enough to have a life together. You above all people should know that, Dr. Oliver."

More sad than angry Grissom left the office and walked to his car to think.

* * *

When the game was over and the CSI staff filled a picnic table, Mike managed to sit between Catherine and Sara.

Catherine updated Sara on her daughter's latest exploits. Sara also asked about Greg and what was new at the lab. Mike updated her on himself and all the new people.

"Also, John and I are staying in your apartment, until you can come home or until we can find a place of our own."

"You both fit in that place? It's so tiny, I ran out of room sometimes."

"Well we both work nights and attend UNLV during the day, so about all we do is sleep there. Would you like to go attack the food with me?" Sara nodded. "Right this way, pretty lady."

Mike took her arm, they walked off together laughing at something he said to her in private. Nick however, was not amused, although why he suddenly felt jealous confused him.

Mike and Sara returned a short time later with plates of food for everyone. After dinner some of the patients started to throw a football around and soon a game was underway. Sara ran out for a pass as Nick leaped to intercept the ball knocking them both down. Nick broke Sara's fall but they both landed with their hands on the ball.

Mike cut in on them as he pretended to check on Sara for any injuries.

Grissom had seen both Mike, and surprisingly Nick, compete for Sara's attention.

He knew what he was about to do would be painful for Sara and himself. It was the only answer he could think of to end the stalemate that had been their relationship or lack of one before the accident and to stop her from dreaming of a future with him.

Sara assured Mike she was OK. Sitting up and laughing she swiped the ball from Nick. "You cheated, Nick. This is touch football, no tackling."

Nick helped her up as he swiped the ball back. "You got in my way. In Texas we don't let little things like rules get in the way of winning."

"Technical foul, Nick! The ball goes to the other team." Grissom walked to Nick and Sara.

"Gil!"

Sara ran easily and all but launched herself into his arms. Grissom had no choice but to catch her and allowed himself a quick hug. Kissing her head, he acted as if Sara was a little girl.

"Hi, Sara! Hey take it easy. I'm an old man. God, it is good to see you again, you look great."

He gently pushed her out of his arms but took her hand as they walked to the picnic tables. Sara sat across from Grissom. T hey all talked about recent cases and updated Sara on her open cases still pending court. As the sun set music was played over the speaker system. One by one each man asked both Catherine and Sara to dance, everyone except Grissom. Sara finally came over and asked him to dance. Grissom laughed and said he was much too old and paired her with John.

Confused, Mike walked over to Nick. "Am I missing something here? If someone that beautiful threw herself into my arms, I sure as hell wouldn't let any other man dance with her……I don't get it. I don't get him at all."

"You and me both!" Nick shook his head as Grissom walked over to the two men.

"Are you guys going to be staying for a little while? Can you stick close to Sara?"

Mike and Nick nodded but Grissom walked away before they could ask anything more.

Grissom tapped on John's shoulder to cut in as the music switched to a slow dance.

"This is a little more my speed. John, may I cut in?"

She was not sure why but Sara suddenly felt uncomfortable dancing with Grissom in front of everyone. Finally being alone with him, she was also confused about how he had acted towards her earlier. He took her hand in his and Sara put her hand lightly on his shoulder.

"Thank you for coming to see me today, Gil."

"I'm sorry I couldn't come before this. I've missed you so much, Sara."

Sara relaxed and rested her head on his shoulder and moved her arm around his waist.

"I missed you too. I thought you'd forgotten all about me."

"Never! Since the first day I saw you in my class, you know you've had me wrapped around your little finger. I don't think I could love you more if you were my own child. You are the daughter I'll never have." He brushed a kiss on her forehead. "I was devastated when you were hurt."

"You felt responsible?"

"Of course! I should have never let you come to work for me. It's not very professional but I love to watch you learn, grow and get better everyday. I know that a day will come, very soon, when you won't need me anymore. You'll have your own team, if not here in Vegas then somewhere else. Or you'll meet some man and off you'll go with him as his wife and the mother of his children. Then all I'll be to you is a memory, an old friend." He hugged her one last time. "I am so glad you'll be all right. Sara, if you don't want to go back into the field again, I'll understand. Don't rush or do anything just to please me."

Sara was speechless. She felt both confused and hurt. Grissom caressed her face as the music ended.

"Well, it's getting a little late for me. I'll let you go now so Mike and Nick can compete for your attention. Have fun and goodnight, Sara."

He walked away past a stunned Mike and Nick. Warrick looked at Sara, then at his boss, he was confused and worried.

Catherine stopped Grissom as he tried to walk past her. "What did you just do?"

"Something I should have done a long time ago. Goodnight Catherine!" He walked to his van and pulled out a cell phone. "Jim? It's Gil. You up for a drink? Good, my place or yours?"

* * *

Catherine waited in Grissom's office on Monday.

"Hi, Cath! What do you have for me?" She closed his office door.

"That's it! Business as usual, huh? You rip Sara's heart out and just walk away!"

"I made sure that Mike and Nick would be there for her."

"If that was your great idea to make her forget you, let me tell you your plan sucks. Sara broke down after you left. Nick held her until she could stop crying."

"She turned to Nick? I figured she'd turn to Mike. Shows how little I know about women."

"Boy, have you got that right…...I don't believe you! You planned that whole thing: not going to see Sara; not coming to the game with the rest of us….then your little act on the dance floor. You wanted to force Sara to realize her options, that she can have anyone but you."

"Catherine, I know I hurt her. Tell me what I could have done differently? Sara has wasted the last few years waiting for a dream that can never come true. How do you tell someone to stop dreaming without hurting them? It is time to put an end to it now while she barely remembers me. She needs to get on with her life."

Grissom would not look up at Catherine. "Are you OK, Gil?"

"I'll be all right. I'm more worried about Sara."

"If you need to talk….."

"Thanks, Cath. I just need to work."


	7. Chapter 7

True to his words, Grissom buried himself in work for the next several weeks. He agreed to go to several local colleges as a guest lecturer but returned each night to train Mike and John. He forced himself to stay away from Sara. Grissom had convinced himself that she barely remembered him and would probably soon forget all about him. Or if she did think of him at all, she might remember him as a mentor. He had nothing to offer her, except his knowledge. Sara had once called him "emotionally unavailable" and it was true. He wanted to share his heart and life with her but he had no idea how to pull down the barriers he'd built so long ago. No it was better this way! She was safe at the clinic. She was being cared for.....and besides it hurt too damn much to see her with Nick or Mike.

As late spring slowly turned into a very hot summer, it became a very hectic time for all the short-staffed CSI teams. Shifts overlapped and everyone was too busy and much too tired for anything other than the work.

After his last lecture at UNLV, Grissom arrived at his office to find Greg waiting for him. The former lab rat looked tanned and well rested but somehow much older than when he left. "Greg!" He shook his hand. "You look much better. I am sorry we've been so busy, I didn't get a chance to call and check on you at your parents place. So, how are you?"

"The cast finally came off Friday. Nine weeks, it seemed like nine years. Now I have to go to physical therapy to get some muscle tone back in my leg. I've spent the last few days getting some sun on it. My leg was truly gross looking when the cast came off."

"I wasn't expecting you for at least two or three more weeks, Greg. You know I can't let you back in the field or even in the lab while you're on crutches."

"Yeah, I know that. Just don't tell my folks, please! I mean I love them and all that but I just can't take living at home with them anymore. No matter how old you are, they treat you like you're still seven years old."

"So what are your plans for now?"

"Well, I came back a little early for my friend's wedding and to find a new apartment. The place I've had for the last three years is great but really expensive. Two of my friends from college lived with me and we split all the expenses. One roommate was the guy that just got married and the other guy is going back to school in LA soon. I can't afford the place on my own."

"Greg while you were gone, we hired several new people. I have two new trainees on nights......"

"Yeah, I met John and Mike. Nice guys. I went to Sara's place first. They are staying at her place while she is at the clinic. They gave me directions on how to get to her. I went to see Sara, before I came here. She looks great, except for her hair. She remembers me again but she is seeing Nick now."

"I know. I'm very sorry, Greg. She had a pretty rough time and he has been there for her. Nick told me that Sara feels she will be ready to leave the clinic very soon. She will be needing her place back. Maybe Mike and John can share expenses at your place when that happens."

"Hey, yeah. Great idea! Thanks, Grissom. Let me get out of here so you can get back to work. I know you are all really busy. Just wanted to stop by and say hi."

Grissom watched as Greg slowly got up, still obviously in pain. "Greg, you won't be able to go back full time in the field immediately. We can use you in the lab part time until you are ready. Then as your leg improves we can slowly increase your time in the lab and then in the field."

"I wanted to ask you about that but I know you are really short people. My doctor said it could be another 4 to 6 weeks before I get full range of motion back in my leg."

"Your job will be waiting when you're ready to come back, Greg. It will be good to have you back in the lab again. Until then, if you need anything, call me." Grissom walked Greg back to the cab that Judy had called for him, he helped him with the doors on the way.

"Thanks, Grissom."

As he walked back into the building, the intercom announced that he had a call on line one. "Grissom!" He picked up the phone call in his office.

"Dr. Grissom, this is Mark Oliver. I called hoping for your help. Sara wishes to leave the clinic this week. I don't feel she is ready. Would you be willing to come here and the three of us could discuss this further."

"I am sorry, Dr. Oliver. As I said before, I don't think it's in Sara's best interest for her to remember everything from her past. If she wishes to leave your clinic, there is no reason to make her stay any longer. Her memory loss does not make her a danger to herself or anyone else. I can't help you. However, I want to assure you if Sara chooses to return to work, she will be required to take a proficiency exam and be approved by the Lab Administrator. Even then, she will be shadowed for at least six weeks by another CSI, probably Nick or Warrick. Trust me, the last thing anyone one of us wants to do is to have Sara come back too soon and be hurt again physically or mentally."

"For someone with no family, it is good to know Sara will have such strong support all around her when she is released. I know you are responsible for the family atmosphere that I've seen among your staff. I wish all my patients were so lucky. Goodbye, Dr. Grissom."

"Goodbye, Dr. Oliver." Grissom returned to the report he was trying to write on the screen.

* * *

The overload of work for all the CSI teams continued at a brutal pace. Between the time away for the lectures and training, Grissom was late with his evaluations again. He arrived early trying to finish his report on Mike and John. Engrossed, he did not see Sara come into his office.

"Gil?"

"Sara, Hello! I'm sorry I didn't know you were coming in today." Grissom tried to stand but his heart was beating so hard and fast, he couldn't move. "So your first day back! How are you feeling, a little nervous?"

"Yeah, I feel like a trainee all over again."

"Well you were one of my best trainees, you'll be fine. Sara, remember take your time. If anything doesn't feel right or it's uncomfortable or you just can't remember, let one of us know…..please? You really should have given yourself more time."

"No really, I'm OK. Nick has been a big help and I feel I'm as ready as I'll ever be…. Gil, I came by to apologize for embarrassing you the night of dance at the clinic. I was confused about our relationship in the past. You were so kind and caring when I was in the hospital…..I made assumptions……no, I made a fool of myself."

"Sara, you didn't embarrass me, you never could. I do care and I'll always be here for you. Please be careful out there. No more hospitals, consider it an order from your boss."

"Yes sir, boss." She extended a hand to shake but Grissom rose covered it with both of his.

"Welcome back, Sara."

Catherine walked in. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Hi, Catherine! No I was just leaving. Thanks, Gil."

"You handled that pretty well. Are you OK?"

"I'm fine, Catherine. Why shouldn't I be? Is there a problem?"

"No it looks like things are back to normal. Greg is on line two for you."

"Thanks. Hi Greg! How are things going with your new roommates? Good! And how is your physical therapy going? That soon? Well, I'll look forward to seeing you next week." Grissom hung up and turned back to his evaluations.

* * *

Full summer heat hit with unrelenting fury. Temperatures and tempers all over the city reached a boiling point which resulted in a record number of calls for assaults and murders. Even with the extra hands of Greg, Sara, Mike and John, the entire staff was overworked, tired and cranky. Grissom returned from a day in court to find nobody in the offices or break room and several calls waiting to be assigned.

"Hey Greg, where is everyone?"

"Everyone is already out on calls, even Ecklie. Catherine called in just a little while ago looking for help. Some guy barricaded himself in a building that's being demolished, just past the old strip by the train tracks. She said he was shooting at everything in sight."

"We aren't supposed to handle active police calls! I've warned Brass about this before. I'm not risking my people at shootouts. What the hell is going on? Where is she?"

"Address is 10 California. Are you going?"

"Who else is there with her?"

"John was with her. Warrick and Mike should be there by now, they responded to her call for help."

Grissom stripped off his jacket and tie as he ran to his van. As he drove away from the strip, he could soon follow the sound of gunfire to the scene. Parking a block away, he arrived at the site and was handed a bulletproof vest by a patrolman who pointed to Catherine's location. As the sun set, SWAT landed police on the building roof from helicopters. They quickly drove the suspect from the building. Once the gunman was outside, bullets flew in every direction. A body rolled in front of Catherine forcing her backward to relative safety under an abandoned car on cinderblocks. Bullets kicked up dirt from the spot she had just vacated. Very soon a terrible silence filled the area as what was left of the gunman hit the pavement.

"Secure all weapons." Brass shouted into a megaphone.

Slowly heads popped out from behind cars, walls and dumpsters.

"Are you OK, Catherine?" Grissom helped her up.

"Where the hell did you come from? Not that I'm complaining! I'm OK, thanks to you. Warrick! John! Mike! Any one hurt?" The three men walked over to Grissom and Catherine,

All of them indicated they weren't hurt. "Hey Warrick, you want to start processing the scene?"

Once assured everyone was not hurt, Grissom walked over to talk to Jim Brass.

"Brass, what the hell is going on? Why were my people called to respond to an active police scenes and a shootout for christ's sake? Jim, haven't I nearly lost enough people lately?"

"Look Gil, I'm sorry. We have a batch of new people in communications. The call went out for police, CSI and EMTs all at the same time. I promise that the problem will be addressed…..hopefully it won't ever happen again."

Grissom removed his vest and winced as he handed it back to a patrolman.

Brass saw a black smudge as the vest was removed and stopped him. "You OK, Gil?"

"I scraped my side on that hunk of junk when I rolled underneath it with Catherine."

"Quick thinking! You need a ride to the hospital?"

"What? NO! Oh hell, look at my pants. This was my best suit. I'll be sending the bill for my dry cleaning to PD. I have to go home to change."

He walked away pretending to brush grease and dirt from his pants but favored his right side.

"Hey, Jim! Where is Grissom going?"

"Home to change! He said he got his suit dirty but I think he might be hurt."

"He must be. He never leaves a scene unless he gets another urgent call. Hey Warrick, can you handle the scene for a little while? I want to check on Grissom. I won't be long."

"Sure, Cath."

Grissom arrived home and quickly removed his shirt. There is a long red welt on his right side. He found a small hole and black stains on his shirt with some fibers from the vest he had worn. Changing out of the suit pants, he put a cold compress on his side. He was startled when there was a knock on his townhouse door. Catherine walked in as usual without waiting for him to answer.

"Catherine, what are you doing here? Are you OK?"

"I needed to get away from the scene. I have a headache. I also wanted to check on you. You never leave a scene. What's wrong with you? You're ribs, are you hurt?"

"It's not my ribs. I scraped my side rolling under that damned car and ruined my suit pants."

"To hell with the damned pants! Let me see. Is the skin broken?"

"It's just a bruise." Grissom pushed her hand away. He did not want her to see the mark the bullet left behind even through the vest. He tugged on a shirt and reached for a bottle of aspirin and dumped several pills on the counter. "Here take some for your headache?" He popped three or four pills dry but poured some water for Catherine.

"Yah, give me two! This has been one bad ass summer." Catherine then started to shake.

"Oh hell, I can't stop. I am sorry, Gil."

"Catherine Willows, don't you dare apologize to me. I know just how close those bullets came to you, to both of us."

He used his good arm to gather her against him. She continued to cry but was still careful not to touch his injured side. He held her until the tears slowly subsided.

"OK thanks, I think the flood is over now."

"That's good, my shirt was starting to get wet. I have to do laundry, this is my last clean one."

She stepped out of his arm and smiled as he handed her a paper towel.

"Thanks, Gil. You're always there for me. A shoulder to lean on or a chest or cry on. I've always wondered why we never…..you know, got together."

"I haven't a clue. Maybe we both need a good friend a lot more than another bad affair."

"I always seem to fall for the wrong type of guys. You warned me about Eddie but I fell in love and married him anyway. You've been there to help me, when he cheated on me, when he tried to beat me up, during the divorce and especially after he died. I have lost track of how many times you have saved my butt."

"May I remind you, you've saved mine on several occasions…..Catherine I'm the last person to give anyone advice on relationships. This much I've learned the hard way. You can't make someone fall in love with you and you can't pick who you fall in love with….. or who falls in love with you."

"You mean Sara?"

"No! Believe it or not I fell in love once, a long time ago. I mean head over heels, forever in love. It was while I was still in college. Her name was Allison Porter. God, we were so young. We lived together my last year at Harvard. One night we had this huge fight. It's funny, to this day I can not remember how that damn fight got started. It ended when I walked out on her. When I cooled down and came back the next morning to apologize, she was gone. All her things were gone. I searched but I never could find her. That was thirty years ago. To this day I still miss her. I wonder where she is….how she is."

"God, we make a pathetic pair. I keep falling for the wrong men and you won't let yourself care for anyone again. Poor Grissom, she was you first love and you never forget your first love. EVER! It will never feel that way again but I hope you will find love again someday, whether it's Sara or someone you haven't met yet. You deserve it."

"Thanks Cath, so do you."

"Well I better get back to the scene." Grissom winced as he reached for Catherine's glass.

"Are you sure you are going to be able to make it tonight?"

"I have to! I still have Warrick and Greg's evaluations to complete and they are late already. Hopefully, we will get a quiet night for a change. I think we are overdue for some slow days."

He watched her go but his mind was on thoughts and memories of Allison. Yes, she had been his first love and she was the first to use him and then just walk away. Over the next twenty years the faces and names changed but the end result was always the same. The women he cared about used him to get better grades, a job recomendation. Years later they needed his reputation to get grants, tenure or a better position. When they got what they wanted, they left him.

Grissom put on some cream on the bullet rash and examined his face in the mirror. Of course they all left him and why not! He had little to offer any woman, let alone someone as young, bright and beautiful as Sara. He felt that he was average looking at best and fast approaching 50. He had thinning grey hair, a growing paunch and bowed legs from years on the job. The Job! What woman would want to be with a man whose job was DEATH!

No, he no longer had any illusions of finding love. The few women he dated more than once now wanted something from him. They used him and he used them for companionship and even occasionally for sex. The last few years even those types of affairs were few and far between. It just seemed so pointless and sad. So he had poured his passion and energy into the job. At least his work had given him something in return, recognition and respect......It had also given him a staff of people he could teach and watch over. Not exactly a traditional family but as close as he would ever get to one.


	8. Chapter 8

The oppressive heat of July finally passed and the somewhat cooler nights of August finally brought slower call volumes. The temporary lull also brought a happy day for both Mike and John as they completed work on their degrees. Grissom arranged a small celebration as he gave them their badges as official CSI level one agents. Sara felt she was fully recovered and no longer had to be shadowed by another CSI, only Greg had not returned into the field. Grissom was concerned that Greg's therapy seems to be making little improvement in his mobility and that he showed no interest in leaving the lab to get back into the field. At the celebration, Grissom was surprised to see Sara openly flirting with Mike in front of an unhappy Nick. Mike and John had the night off as a graduation gift. Grissom had offered to monitor some test results so Mike and Sara could leave early to celebrate.

"Thanks, Gil."

"Goodnight Sara, Mike. Have fun!" Grissom and Nick watched the happy pair leave the break room.

"Be careful what you wish for, you might get it." Catherine whispered to Grissom as he left the break room and walked back to his office.

"I got what I wished for as you put it, Catherine. Sara is well and happy. Her memory is almost completely back. With any luck, she won't have to deal with all the bad memories of the past."

"Including you! Several years of your history with her is just gone and you're fine with that?"

"Yes, because the alternative would hurt her a lot more."

"Thank you, St. Grissom!"

"Catherine you seem to have all the answers. What should I do? Tell her about her parents and how her life with them ended. That she had to live in the hellhole of social services for four long years. Let her know she once thought she was in love with me and gave up med school to come work for me. Why make her remember all that for a dream that can never come true? She deserves to be young and happy..... I just hope she can find someone who can offer her a long and happy life together with marriage and children. Mike can, Nick can, even Greg could make her happy."

"And you can't? Have you asked Sara what she wants? No, I bet you haven't! If you love someone, set them free. I've always thought that idea sucked! And what about you?"

"What about me? I have my work the same as always. It is who I am, Catherine."

"Right! So you stay here, bury yourself in this damn lab with your books and specimens and slowly bleed to death."

"I am not bleeding. I am content."

"Bullshit! You may be able to lie to other people but I know you too well, Gilbert Grissom. You're in love with Sara and seeing her with Nick or Mike or Greg is killing you."

"OK Cath, you win! I love her and it does hurt. Are you happy? Does it change anything? Face it, this was inevitable. I'm nearly 50 years old and Sara isn't 30 yet. What kind of life together can I offer her? Hell, I'll be retired in 10 years or less…..it's better this way."

"Better for who? Just keep telling yourself that Gil and maybe you'll convince yourself. I hope you and this dusty collection of books and bugs in bottles will be very happy."

Grissom looked up to respond but Catherine was gone to deal with a 419 with Warrick. He tried to return his focus to the resumes in front of him for several new trainee applicants to CSI for the day shift.

* * *

"Hey, Catherine! It looks like we are riding together today. Heard you guys are swamped!"

"Hi Sara! It's been a while since we worked together. How are you doing?"

"I'm getting tired of people asking me how I am. I didn't go crazy. I lost my memory. It's starting to really piss me off. Nick is sweet but he is getting on my nerves. He treats me like I was made out of glass, so afraid to say or do anything that might upset me."

"So you went out with Mike?"

"That obvious, huh? Mike is a good kid and fun to be with but he's only twenty-five. That's a little young for me, I prefer my men a little older."

"Your thirty, Sara. Five years isn't all that much younger. If he's fun, I say just enjoy it. Unless…..is there someone else?"

"Well, this guy moved into my apartment complex a few weeks ago, lives three doors down. Ian Flynn, he seems very nice."

"Just nice?"

"OK, he's hot! I don't want to hurt Nick or Mike but Ian asked me out to dinner."

"So, go for it. Hey, there is no rule that you have to just date guys from work. I know our hours are screwy and they understand the job but fishing from the company pier can cause problems."

"You mean Hank!"

"Yeah! Besides, it's kind of nice not to talk shop all the time. Has he got a cute roommate for me?"

"I thought you and Grissom…."

"Me and Gil! No, definitely not. He's a friend, my best friend. Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy but he's ten years older than I am. I prefer my men a little younger."

"Then he's not seeing anyone?"

"Not that I know of. Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering! So what is the case we pulled?"

"Hell of a way to start our day, we have a possible jumper at hotel on Paradise."

As they pulled up to the scene, Catherine and Sara were surprised to see Jim Brass. "Hey, Jim! What are you doing here?"

"Professional courtesy, seems the deceased is the son of the police chief from……nowhere special in Colorado. Apparently he is very concerned that the death might be ruled a suicide. He asked me to oversee the investigation, captain to captain. The young man's room is on the top floor, number 5009 and as they say, there by hangs the tale."

"Oh no, don't tell me. Let me guess, he was drunk…"

"Bombed and on several assorted pharmaceuticals. Star of his college dive team. Made a bet he could dive off the balcony from the fifth floor balcony and hit the pool. Jackass!"

"Exactly! How much did he miss by?"

"About ten feet and get this. His roommates very helpfully got the whole thing on video and I've got the tape. His buddies are in the hotel room launch pad puking their guts out."

"Well, that makes our job easy. I'll make copies of the tape and go to take a few shots." Catherine took the tape as Sara's pager rang.

"I've got a john roll at the Monte Carlo, Cath. If you don't need me, can Jim drop me off?"

"Sure." Catherine nodded as Brass walked with Sara to his car which was nearby. "When I'm done, I'll swing by to pick you up, Sara." Catherine walked to the pool area.

Sara got out of Jim's car with her kit as they arrived at the hotel. "Thanks for the ride, Jim. It is sweet of you to worry but I'm fine really."

Sara walked to the hotel front desk and was very surprised to see Ian at the concierge desk.

"Sara, Hello! This is a surprise. Did you come to take me up on that offer for dinner?"

"Sorry Ian, I'm working. I came about the assault on one of your guests. I need to confirm the room number. I have 2101 but this hotel doesn't have 21 floors."

"Let me check. Sorry, the room is 1201 but the police are already up there. I didn't know you were with the police?"

"I didn't know you worked here…..but I'm not with the police. I'm a crime scene investigator with the Sheriff's office. I'm sorry but I really do have to get up there. It was good to see you. Can I get a rain check for that dinner?"

"Sure Sara, anytime. Take care."

Sara finally located the room but the victim was being less that cooperative. As she arrived, two officers were having trouble as they tried to restrain a very muscular man.

"I'm not filing a police report. Nothing happened. Why can't you people just go away?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Lewis." Sara read the name from his license, the only thing left in the wallet she found on the bed. "The assault took place in the hotel, so they called us. I'm Sara Sidle with the Crime Lab. Even if you don't care about getting your cash back, the hotel need to file a police report. I need to collect some evidence and then you are free to go." She opened her kit and collected a used condom, then took out several swabs. The police held the suspect still as she swabbed his hand and cleaned under his nails. "OK, last one, open wide please!"

Breaking free he took a swipe at Sara but she easily ducked his fist but one patrolman didn't. "Nice try! Well, I guess we have to finish this at the police station. Cuff him and put him in a holding cell with no access to water or a toilet until I get there."

Sara took photos of the room, collected blood samples and then dusted for prints. She had just finished and was putting everything away as Catherine arrived.

"You all done? Where's the john?"

"He was a little shy about giving me samples. He is on the way to a holding cell."

"This has been a wonderful day so far. I'll drive you to the station house. Then maybe after you're done, we can get a break for something to eat."

"Ian, the guy I was telling you about, works here. He wanted to take me out to dinner."

"Well go, girl! I can finish up with the john at the station house."

"No, I'm not really dressed for dinner but thanks for the offer, Cath."

Catherine's cell phone rang. "And the hits just keep on coming. Hey Greg, what's up? Really? OK, I'll have Sara drop me at the lab. Yes, I'll be right there."

"Sorry Sara, no dinner! I've finally gotten some DNA results on another case."

Due to the escalated number of calls, Sara pulled another double shift. At 7AM the next day, she finally drove back to her apartment. Exhausted, she arrived just as Ian was leaving for work.

"Good Morning, Sara! We meet again."

"Oh hi, Ian!"

"Just getting in from another wild night?"

"Wild night! That's for sure." She yawned finally able to open her door. "I'm sorry but I have to get some sleep. I need to be back at work by four this afternoon. Have a good day."

Too tired to eat, Sara fell into bed and slept the whole day. When she woke it was nearly 4PM. Rushing to eat, shower and dress, she collided with Ian as she left her apartment.

"Sorry, Sara! Are you OK? We have got to stop meeting like this."

"My fault, I am so late for work."

"I can see we are going to have a problem getting in a date with our work schedules."

"Hey, there is always Saturday and Sunday."

"OK, how about this Saturday night? Dinner? Please?"

"Sounds great! I'm sorry but I really have to run, Ian."

"Until Saturday, bye Sara."

Even with her hectic schedule, Sara took the time to shop and even splurged on a new dress. She spent extra time on her hair and makeup. Sara was getting more nervous as she applied her new lipstick but smiled at the knock on her door just before 7 PM.

"You're early….Mike? What are you doing here?"

"Wow! You look fantastic but you're a little overdressed."

"Overdressed?"

"Art house, Planet of the Apes, Charlton Heston, popcorn….ring any bells?"

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry, I forgot. I already have a date. Can we go tomorrow?"

"Sure. Lucky guy! Whoever he is, I hate him. See you tomorrow, Sara."

Mike walked away as Ian arrived. They stared at each other as they passed. Mike watched the man from his car as Ian knocked on Sara's door. He drove away angry as Sara opened her door.

"Hi, Ian! You're right on time."

"Actually, I'm a little early and I'm a little nervous. You look amazing, Sara. No wonder you have lots of gentlemen callers. I saw the last one leave as I walked to your door."

"Who? Oh, that was just Mike. We work together. He stopped by to see if I wanted to go to the movies. So where are we going tonight? You've been so mysterious."

"How about some aged brie and champagne at the Eiffel Tower? Not the real one of course but I hear the one on The Strip is pretty nice. Interested?"

"I've lived here nearly five years and believe it or not I've never been there. I'd love to."

* * *

They returned several hours later, Sara stopped at her door. "It was a great night but I've had way too much champagne. Thank God tomorrow is Sunday!" She turned to open her door, fumbled and then dropped her keys.

"Don't leave me, Sara. It's way too early. You are so beautiful." He scooped up her keys and kissed her as he gently pulled Sara to his door. "Does our night have to end so soon?"

"We've really just met. What would you think of me if I came in on our first date?"

"I think I would be the luckiest man in the world if you would stay with me tonight. Sara, please?" He kissed her again and again until she stopped resisting. Ian opened his door and pushed her gently inside and slammed the door shut.

In the morning Sara woke in his bed alone. She sat up quickly and grabbed her head. "I am never drinking champagne again. OUCH!"

"Well good morning, pretty lady! I have just the thing, a little hair of the dog. It's a mimosa, orange juice and champagne."

"Oh God, take it away. If I smell it, I'll be sick. Do you have any aspirin?"

Ian went into the bathroom and dumped her drink and quickly rinsed the glass. He returned with a glass of just water and a bottle of Tylenol.

"Oh, thank you! I rarely drink that much and never champagne. Now I remember why."

"Sara? Oh my God! What did I do to you? I am so sorry."

There were several bruises on her arms and wrists, also several marks on her neck. Sara looked at them and frowned, they didn't hurt.

"Hey, it's OK Ian. I just bruise very easily. You didn't hurt me….although I've never felt quite so thoroughly kissed before."

"You bring out the beast in me, Sara. Beauty and the beast, please forgive me." He kissed her very gently until they were interrupted when his phone rang.

"Oh damn, it's probably my boss. Hello, Ian Flynn. Oh Hi, Mark! I've worked the last three Sundays, isn't there anyone else? OK, I need to shower and get dressed. I'll be there within the hour." He hung up. "Ihave to go. I'm so sorry, Sara."

"Don't worry about it, happens to me all the time. Do you know where my dress is?"

"Here! I think I broke the zipper last night. I'll pay to have it repaired."

"I don't care, really! I just can't walk back to my apartment naked. Let me get out of here so you can get ready for work. Thank you for a lovely night, Ian Flynn."

"The first of many I hope, Sara Sidle."

* * *

Sara arrived at the lab on Monday, still on loan to the swing shift. "We are riding together again. Hi, Sara!"

"Hey, Cath! How was your weekend?"

"Oh the usual, laundry, shopping, cleaning and fighting with Lindsey. How about yours?"

"Great! I went to dinner with Ian on Saturday and the movies with Mike on Sunday. So what did we get for an assignment?"

"Oh no you don't, Sara Sidle! Details, I want all the juicy details." Sara talked about Ian all the way to the scene.

As they arrived, David moved a body from the water to the edge of a gully.

"Hey, Catherine! Hi, Sara! I didn't bother with a liver temp. Horse and rider have been in the water at least a couple of days. She was a floater, so you probably won't find any usable evidence on the body. A tow truck is coming to pull the horse from the gully. There is a boot still caught in the stirrup, so I left everything else as I found it."

"Thanks, David. You want to call it, Sara?"

"Yeah, it must have been the flooding rains on Friday night. The sky darkened so quickly and it poured so fast and heavy, the rider must have been galloping and never saw the gully or just couldn't stop."

"Maybe the lightening spooked the horse? If the horse reared up, the rider may have been thrown from the saddle but her boot caught in the stirrup."

Sara nodded and took pictures of the gulley edge, the rider and the horse from several angles. "I don't see any drag marks but the rains could have washed them away. Doc will have to tell us if the rider was dead before or after she hit the water."

Catherine had put on waders and slid down the gully edge into the waist deep muddy water.

"The horse's leg is definitely broken, maybe the neck too. If he survived the fall, he may have tried to get out of the gully but couldn't and drowned, poor baby."

Sara handed Catherine the camera to get some closer shots, then helped her out of the gully.

"Where in the world did you get those?" Pointing to the rubberized pants that covered Catherine's petite form from toes to chest.

"One of the advantages of hanging around with Grissom, he loves to fish. He bought me these ages ago and they have come in very handy on the job several times."

"Gil, fishing? He doesn't seem like the outdoorsy type."

"Anything that includes bugs, flys, worms…."

Sara laughed but suddenly stopped walking to the van. She brought her hands to her temples.

"Sara, what's wrong?"

"I'm OK! It happens every once and awhile, a sound, a smell or something will trigger an image like a flashback. It hurts but just for a second."

"What was the image?"

"A sail boat in the water? I think it is the waders, the smell. I had a rain slicker once and it smelled just like that."

"Just a boat, nothing else?"

"It was cold. I could see my breath. I'm wearing the rain slicker and I'm laughing with someone. There's a big bridge in the distance……We are sailing in San Francisco Bay but I can't remember anything else. Damn, it is so frustrating sometimes!"

"Sara, give yourself a break! It's just about three months since the accident. Let's go. Hey David, the body is all yours! God, I smell like a dead horse. I need a shower."

"You and me both, gross!" Both women got into the Denali for a smelly ride to the lab. Catherine and Sara arrived at the lab and headed for the showers. Sara stripped quickly but remembered too late about all her bruises.

"Sara, what in the hell happened to you?"

"I'm OK. It looks worse than it is. Ian is a very physical man."

"I know all about physical men, I married one. Sara, please be careful. Eddie could get carried away and sometimes turned very nasty."

Concerned, Catherine debated on whether or not to tell Grissom. She decided not to because she knew that the information would just hurt him even more.

Sara carefully dressed in a long sleeved shirt and made sure that none of the bruises could be seen and then left the lockers.

"Hi, Sara! Do you have a minute?"

"Hey, Gil! Is there a problem?"

"I just spoke to Jim Brass. Two patrolmen said a suspect tried to hit you last week, Sara. I didn't see an incident report. Can you tell me what happened?"

"It was nothing. He was still a little drunk and very embarrassed. He swung a fist at me but didn't come close to hitting me but he did connect with a patrolman. I didn't think it was important enough to write down. I have good reflexes."

"Sara, please add an incident report to the case file." He was concerned that the memory of her father's abuse might be surfacing. "Are you all right? Do you need to talk?"

"No! I'm OK, really! Don't look so worried, Gil."

"OK, Thank you, Sara. Can you send in Mike for me?"

Mike poked his head in the doorway. "You wanted to see me, Grissom?"

"Come in, Mike. Shut the door, please. Why are you trying to pull police records for an Ian Flynn? Is he a person of interest on a case?"

"Not exactly.....He moved in practically next door to Sara a few weeks ago and I don't trust him. I don't like the way he looks at her."

"It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact she stood you up to go out with him? Well? Mike, you can't use your position with CSI and your access to personal and confidential information to check out your competition."

"No secrets around this place, are there? Look Grissom, it's not about that, really. I was just worried about Sara. She's had enough trouble already and I have a bad feeling about this guy."

"Mike, I understand and appreciate your concern for Sara. I'll overlook it this time. Next time, bring any issues to me first or I'll have to write you up, OK?"

"Sorry! Did anything come back from the search?"

"No record of any kind. "

"Damn! OK, Thanks, Grissom." He left, clearly disappointed and even more worried.


	9. Chapter 9

Grissom knew that Mike was very good at reading people. His own anxiety increased after reviewing the case files on a string of sexual assaults that started at the Planet Hollywood Casino a few weeks before. Assaults had been reported at almost every major casino mid-strip: Paris, Bally's, Caesar's, Flamingo, Harrah's, The Mirage and The Venetian. The hotels were in a straight line down the strip from the first location. Eight assaults in 24 days, if you assumed all the attacks were done by the same man. So far no forensic evidence had been found at any of the scenes and they had a very vague description of the suspect. The attacker wore gloves and always used a condom. The suspect also liked to use his fists and usually beat his victims nearly unconscious before he sexually assaulted them. Grissom knew if it was one man, it was just a matter of time until he escalated from assault and rape to murder.

Over Grissom's strong objections, few details had been released to any of the CSI shifts or the police about the multiple attacks. The sheriff claimed there was no evidence pointing to just one man for all the atssaults and he wanted to avoid a panic. He also wanted to keep the press from running stories of a sex fiend loose in Vegas. True to form on the third day the suspect attacked again at Treasure Island. However, this time the victim tried to fight back. Grissom, with Warrick, arrived less than an hour after the attack to find the first dead assault victim.

"Oh man, look at her face. I've seen boxers after 15 rounds that don't look that bad."

"I want every single cut checked for DNA. Bag her hands. I want this entire area sealed off. It looks like we may have just gotten a break. There is some skin under her nails."

"Now we just have to hope this guy is in CODIS." Warrick, unaware of all the other assaults, started to photograph the body and the surrounding area as Grissom stepped away.

"Albert, this is Grissom. I'm sorry to ask you to stay but we may have just gotten our first break in the assault cases. I'm sending you a body. He's killed for the first time. I need you to check her entire body for any DNA. If I'm right, our killer will have several scratches on his face. If we can ID him fast, the scratches will link him to this body and her death. His hands will also be red and very swollen based on the beating inflicted on the victim."

* * *

Sara, as usual, had maxed out on overtime and had a rare afternoon off. Using the time to restock her kitchen, she arrived with Mike at her apartment and found a note taped to her door from Ian. The note said that he would be out of town for a few days. Mike took the envelope the note came in and hid it quickly in his jacket pocket. He finally had something with Ian's fingerprints. Even though Grissom told him that the man had no police record, before Mike would let Sara spend any more time alone with Ian, he wanted to check out the mysterious Mr. Flynn.

Grissom was tired. He had waited in his office all night for the test results. His hopes for a chance to quickly catch the killer were fading. The site of the attack was clean as usual, no DNA was found anywhere on the victim's body. His last hope was the skin found under the last victim's fingernails. Greg was processing each sample separately to ensure against accidents. Trying not to watch the clock, Grissom knew that every passing hour allowed the killer time to heal. Against orders, he called Catherine in early to brief her on the scope of the assaults and inform her of the latest attack, which ended in the first death.

"If we get very lucky with the DNA, we will get a hit off CODIS, find a name and a face to help search for our suspect. Otherwise, he will lay low until the scratches heal. We may have a week or less to find him, then the attacks and perhaps the killings will start again."

"Grissom, why wasn't I told about this before? One of the assault cases was mine."

"Catherine, I'm breaking the Sheriff's orders talking to you now. It's my head on the chopping block if any of this leaks to the press or if Ecklie hears anything around the lab. The lid is on. The Sheriff claims we have no evidence to prove all the attacks were done by the same man. Technically he is correct. He does not want to panic the public."

"What crap! Because it's an election year? So what if a few more women get raped."

"Catherine, he has escalated. He killed the victim from last night, or perhaps he had to because she fought back." He showed her the photos taken of each of the victims. Every girl had large bruises on her wrists and upper arms.

"Oh God, Gil! I think I've made a horrible mistake. Sara is seeing someone new and I saw marks almost exactly like this on her arms."

"Catherine, please don't tell me his name is Ian Flynn?" When she nodded, Grissom reached for his phone and speed dialed Sara's phone.

"Hi, Gil! What's up?"

"Sara, are you with Ian?"

"No, I went food shopping. Mike is helping me with the groceries. Ian went out of town for a few days......Wait a minute, how do you know about Ian? Are you tracking my every move through Nick and Mike?"

"Catherine told me about Ian. Sara, I think you need to come to the lab."

"Is that an order, Sir?"

"No, it is an urgent request from a friend. Please, Sara!"

"Something bad has happened. I know that tone in your voice, Grissom. Is Ian OK?" Knowing she would never get an answer from him over the phone. "Mike and I will be there in fifteen minutes." Sara slammed the phone down which disconnected Grissom.

"Why didn't you tell me about Sara's bruises before?"

"I didn't want to hurt you. I knew how you felt about Eddie hurting me. And I know how you feel about Sara. She said that he didn't hurt her, that she just bruises easily. Gil, you may not understand it or approve but some men like to play rough….."

"And? Just spit it out, Catherine."

"You know as well as I do, children of abusive fathers date and often marry abusive men. Sara may not remember her father but…..I've asked Mike to keep an eye on her."

"God, what a mess! Every step I take to stop from hurting her, she winds up getting hurt even more."

"Well there's an easy way to fix that problem, Gil. Be selfish for a change! Let her know that you're in love with her. Tell her the truth, make her happy and make yourself happy too. Will you at least think about it?"

Grissom said nothing further. He gathered the files and brought them to the evidence room. He laid out the photos of each assault victim as he waited for Sara and Mike to arrive.

"Sara, Mike, I need you to see some case files. I am under orders not to show any of this information to anyone or discuss the cases but Catherine and I are both concerned that Ian Flynn might be involved." Grissom turned over each photo to show the victim's bruises.

"Sara, may I see your arms and wrists please?"

Without a word Sara unbuttoned and removed her outer shirt. She had a tank top underneath and she also had several deep bruises on her wrists, upper arms and neck. Mike stepped forward, he was shocked and then angry to see the marks. He looked to Grissom but was stunned to see the pain that flashed on his boss's face before he stepped back from the bright lights of the evidence table.

"Sara, we'll need to get photos." Catherine picked up a camera. "Do you have anything with Ian's DNA or fingerprints?"

"I do!" Mike couldn't look at Sara. "Grissom, can you take out the envelope in my right pocket? It might have both. I'm sorry, Sara."

Grissom put on a glove to retrieve the envelope.

Sara's mind was a jumble of emotions: fear, shame, guilt, embarrassment and anger. She put back on her shirt when Catherine was done taking the photos. Anger finally won the battle among her emotions and the anger was directed at Mike and Catherine, but mostly at Grissom.

"Can I go home now, Sir?"

"Sara, please don't be angry at Mike or Catherine. Mike came to us a few days ago with concerns about Ian. Catherine asked him to stay close to you. When she saw your bruises she came to me. I think you'll understand why when you see this." He handed her the file on the most recent victim. "This is the latest victim. Her name was also Sarah. She tried to fight her attacker and died."

Sara ran from the room. Both Mike and Grissom started to follow her but Catherine stopped them and followed Sara into the bathroom. She walked in and heard Sara as she was sick to her stomach. A short time later she came out of the stall but would not look at Catherine.

"Want to take a swing at me, Sara?"

"I'm not in the mood for this, Catherine. I just want to go home."

"Well too bad! Can we take off the gloves for once, Sara? I am not the enemy. I am quite sure you've heard all the rumors about Eddie and me. You can't keep secrets in an office this small. Well they are all true! Once he had this big deal cooking with a major record label. When the deal fell through, he came home drunk and nearly killed me. Grissom stopped him from beating me to death and almost got a broken jaw for his trouble. With Ed it always started so nice, then he'd get a little more physical. Pretty soon I wanted him to stop but I was afraid to say anything. I know all about it, Sara. I've been there and it has taken me a long time to realize it wasn't my fault and it's not your fault."

"Why is every guy I meet is a jerk or he has a screw loose? I swear I attract every loser in Vegas. The one decent guy I meet treats me like a child. God, it's hopeless, I'm hopeless!"

"No, vulnerable! It might as well be printed on a billboard twenty feet high. I understand, you meet someone and you're tired of being alone. You just want to be touched and held so much you let your guard down. You think with your heart and not your head. I know because I have been there too. Sometimes I wonder if there are any decent men out there. Sara, will you give me a straight answer to one question?"

"What?"

"Are you in love with Grissom?"

Sara laughed. "Yes! For all the good it does me. Hell, I've fallen in love with him twice. I have waited almost ten years and he still hasn't so much as kissed me. The man drives me crazy. He gives you all his time and attention then suddenly he pulls away. Remember the other day, I had a memory of sailing in San Francisco. Grissom used to take me sailing on weekends, we'd go on picnics. I thought he loved me. Then suddenly he just left San Francisco. I never heard one word from him until he called me to come here when Holly was killed. I hoped that we could pick up where we left off but he keeps pushing me away. I thought at first that it was because of you…….that he was in love with you."

"Sara, I do love Grissom but I'm not in love with him. That ship sailed too long ago."

"After my accident, I didn't remember Grissom or our past together but I fell in love all over again with Gil. His voice, his eyes......he understands me like no one ever has before. When he touches me, which isn't often my stomach does flip-flops. I think he wants me, then it's like an iron wall comes slamming down. As soon as I started getting better and remembered bits and pieces of our history…….."

"He pulled that whole routine at the clinic dance. Sara, he did that deliberately. He wanted you to think he was just a former teacher, your mentor or surrogate father figure from your past."

"I don't think of him that way and I really think he cares. He won't let me or anyone get too close."

"Sara, he does love you. He told me so but he thinks he is too old for you. Also, I know that Grissom was hurt really badly a long time ago. She walked out on him. He won't admit it but it nearly destroyed him. I think he's afraid to let himself love you because if you ever leave him, he may not survive a second time. Forensics, his work, helped him survive before. So he stays buried behind his bugs and books. Sara, trust me, that wall he's built around his heart has great big cracks in it now. With some patience and just a little effort you can make it crumble for good......and if I can help in any way, I will."

"I'm just tired of waiting for him to come to me."

"So don't wait! Sara, you are going to have to take the first step and probably the second and third too. He can't or won't, so think about that. OK? Are you feeling better? Are you ready to go back in now? We can really use your help on this case. Do you have any idea where Ian went?"

"No but I really don't think he did this. He is strong but never used his fists. All the assault victims looked like they were punched over and over with a closed fist. Do we have any kind of a description?"

"Nothing really useful! We know he is under six feet tall, dark hair, olive complexion and muscular. One of the victims could only remember he had a cute butt."

"Ian is just over six feet tall with dirty blond hair and very fair skin. He has blue green eyes and a very slim build. The descriptions aren't even close."

"Sara, the last victim, the girl that died…..she scratched her killer. We found skin under her nails. They are running the sample for a DNA match now. Don't you think it's strange that suddenly Ian had to go out of town? It may be a coincidence but I want Nick or Mike to be with you until we get who ever this guy is. OK?"

"Mike seems to have already given himself that job. I've seen him in my apartment complex parking lot once or twice this week. Maybe that is what scared Ian off…….if he is the killer. I should go and apologize to Mike. That was a great idea to hide the envelope in his pocket. He is so good at this job that I forget sometimes he is just a level one."

"Come on, let's go figure this out together. Remember officially we don't know anything about these cases. Please be careful, Ecklie would love to get any ammunition to get Grissom fired."

Grissom and Mike were still hunched over the evidence table as Catherine and Sara returned. Greg slammed open the doors from the lab which startled everyone.

"Results are coming in!" Grissom, Catherine, Sara and Mike followed him to the lab. "Sorry Grissom, I got DNA and fingerprints for Ian from the envelope you gave me. This is the DNA from the skin under the last victim's nails. They are not a match." Grissom reviewed the print out and confirmed Greg's results. "I also ran the killer's DNA through CODIS but no match was found."

"GOD DAMN IT! This is what I get for getting ahead of the evidence. I'm very sorry guys, this was my mistake. We are back to square one. Greg, thank you for staying. We all need to be back here tomorrow, well later today. Try to get some sleep and we'll attack this with fresh eyes and clearer heads later. Sara, I want Mike or Nick sleeping on your couch or a policeman on your door. It's your choice, one or the other but that is an order."

"Yes Sir! Come on, Mike."

Catherine walked over to Grissom as he reviewed the results again.

"You can look until next Tuesday, it won't change the answer. Ian is not our man."

"I was so sure. I mean it's not like I've never been wrong before but all the pieces fit."

"Maybe you wanted them to fit?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Sara was interested in him, dated him. So you wanted him to be guilty or at least find a way for him to be out of her life."

"Catherine, I'm not in the mood for this right now."

"You know, it's funny. Sara said the exact same thing to me a little while ago. OK, I'm leaving but before I go I want you remember one thing, Gil. You could have lost Sara twice in the last few months. Keep pushing her away, sooner or later, three strikes and you're out. You will be all alone. Is that really what you want? Think about it."

As Catherine left the lab, she shut off the lights which left Grissom alone in the dark.

* * *

Unable to sleep, Grissom arrived early for his shift later that same day. The lab was usually dark and quiet at night but when he arrived. Tonight it was bright, full and buzzing with activity as he walked through the door.

"Grissom, I thought I was clear that the assault cases were not to be discussed." Conrad Ecklie confronted him just inside the lab door. The Sheriff followed behind Conrad closely.

"Conrad, I think we can overlook it this time since all his hard work helped catch the killer. Good job, Gil."

Catherine came up behind Grissom and whispered, "Just smile and say thank you."

Puzzled, he shook the Sheriff's hand. "Thank you but it was a team effort."

Conrad and the Sheriff walked off discussing how to best release the information to the media.

"Catherine, would you please tell me what the hell is going on?"

"Sara came in early too. She suggested we run the killer's DNA against all our files. We didn't get a hit from the suspect file last night but we did get one from the victim's file. Sara had a call, a john roll at the Monte Carlo. It was about a week ago, the victim was a David Lewis. He was the guy that took a swing at her. Sara remembered that Lewis fit the general description of our suspect; under six feet, dark hair, muscular and he liked to use his fists and thanks to you we have a photograph."

"Thanks to me?"

"You told Sara to write up an incident report when Lewis tried to hit her, so the cops added the mug shots they took to that report. The rest of the information on him was in Sara's case file: his name, address and DNA from a hand swab. His DNA matched the skin from under the last victim's fingernails. The address on the license was no good but you also asked Brass to check any guys stopped on the interstate with face scratches. They caught him less than an hour ago trying to leave Vegas. I was just on my way to call you about the arrest when Ecklie cornered me about all the case files. The Sheriff is so happy with all the great press this arrest will generate, he's forgotten all about his orders on keeping those files secret. We lucked out big time, Gil."

"I'm glad Lewis was caught but Mike and I were both wrong about Ian Flynn....."

"Well, not exactly. He's real name is Ian Fitzgerald. He is actually wanted in Vermont for questioning in the rape of girl that lived in his apartment complex in Rutland. We found the records under his real name using the fingerprint from the envelope Mike found. Uniforms went to his apartment earlier tonight but the place was one big empty. He is long gone by now."

"Mike was with Sara at her place, right? I mean she is OK?"

"Physically, she is fine. Emotionally, she is probably not in great shape. Sara could really use someone who cares about her right now. But I guess that has nothing to do with you, does it? I have to go out on a call. It's really busy, glad you came in early to give us a hand, Gil."

* * *

Sara and Mike returned from a call to see everyone gathered in the breakroom as they watched the television reports on the capture of David Lewis. The Sheriff and Conrad Ecklie were front and center for the cameras, taking all the bows. Sara shook her head and walked past the TV to the lockers.

"Hey, Greg! Where is everybody else?"

"On calls! Nick and Catherine are on a DUI, multiple car crash. Warrick and John are on a gang shooting. Grissom just left by himself. There was no one else, so he went out alone. Some dumb kid nearly blew his arms off playing with gun powder."

"What was the address?"

"3200 block of Ranch Valley Road in West Vegas."

"That's not a nice area, he shouldn't have gone out alone."

"Don't worry Sara, there were uniforms with him."

"I think I'll back him up." Warrick and John were returning from a call as Sara and Mike were leaving. She let him know that Grissom went on a call involving explosives and might need backup. As Sara and Mike arrived at the scene there was only one police car and an ambulance. Grissom saw them arrive and walked over.

"Hey guys, good timing. I just put out a call for some back up. Sara and Mike, great work on the John Lewis case. I wrote up a commendation for you both but Ecklie has to approve it. Mike, I need to speak to Sara for a minute, alone please?" Mike nodded and stepped away. "Sara, I'm very sorry about Ian. If you need some time off or want to talk to someone…."

"No you're not, Grissom. You're glad he's gone. As for what I want? I am tired of asking you."

Sara turned away as Warrick and John arrived in response to the call for backup. Grissom gathered his teams and pointed to a young man with severe burns on his arms being treated in the ambulance.

"Einstein over there said he set a number of charges in the ground to blow a hole for a pool. He set off one charge by accident and now he can't or won't tell us how many other charges there are and says he can't remember exactly where he buried them. Mike and Sara, get your electronic nose and scan over there. John and Warrick, will you scan that section. Please guys, be very careful, remember to step only where you have scanned. If you find one, do not disturb them. Just spray paint the location."

The teams quickly found three charges each and carefully marked each location for the hazardous material team. After rechecking each area, Sara and Warrick could find no more locations.

"I guess we are in the clear?" From much closer to the house, a sudden blast knocked Warrick, Sara, Mike and John from their feet. "Damn, I thought we got them all!" Warrick got up and helped Sara to her feet. She turned to check on Mike and John who had also gotten up to dust off. She turned to check Grissom but he was still down and not moving.

"Grissom!"

"Sara, be careful!" Mike warned her but she was already running. When she reached Grissom, Sara rolled him gently. His face had a few flash burns, his glasses were mangled but the lenses were intact. She removed his glasses but her hands shook as she tried to feel for his pulse. Before she could confirm anything, Grissom sat up and began to cough and then tried to push her away.

"Sara, get back! The ground here is covered in loose powder, anything could set it off. "

"I'm not going anywhere unless you come with me. Is your leg hurt? Can you walk?"

"Damn you, Sara! Do as you're told."

Ignoring his orders, she helped him up and offered support as he limped from the scene. His pant leg was burnt and some skin on his leg showed several more flash burns. Both the CSI teams carefully cleared the site as HAZMAT crew arrived and they covered the entire site with safety foam. Sara would not release Grissom until she helped him sit in the back of the ambulance. The paramedics made her step away as his flash burns were quickly treated. A short time later, none the worse for wear, Grissom stormed over to Sara.

"Sara, when I tell you to back off, you do it. Do you understand? If not, you'll be looking for a new job. Are we clear? That was incredibly stupid. I've nearly lost you twice. Are you trying to kill yourself?" He was shaking her gently but stopped and abruptly released Sara when he realized what he had been doing. She handed Grissom back his glasses but before he could walk away, Sara leaned forward, grabbed his jacket and pulled him into a kiss.

John and Mike were shocked and stared with mouths open. Warrick slowly started to smile. Grissom was stunned at first but very soon the kiss was no longer one sided.

When the pair finally parted, he caressed her face. "Do you remember everything now, Sara?"

"Yes, including the fact that I've waited nearly ten years for you to kiss me. I don't care about your age or any of the other reasons that make you think you are all wrong for me. I care about you and I'm not waiting until it's too late. I almost died four months ago and I just nearly lost you. I am not waiting anymore, Gilbert Grissom and I'm not spending one more damn night alone."

He opened his mouth to respond but she put a finger to his lips. "Just shut up and kiss me."

Grissom slowly smiled and took her in his arms and kissed her deeply. The pair were lost in their kiss as Catherine and Nick arrived in response to the call of an injury at the scene.

Warrick and Mike walked over to Nick. "Sorry man, I'd say you definitely lost your girl to the dark horse in the race. Way to go, Griss!" Warrick was smiling as he watched his friends lost in the kiss.

Nick shook his head also smiling. "Hey now, I don't think she was ever my girl…..but if I have to lose Sara, at least I lost her to Grissom."

"Like either one of us ever really had a chance, Nick. Who the hell could compete with him?" Nick and Mike laughed and they shook hands.

Catherine walked up to the pair and tried not to smile as Sara and Grissom finally ended the kiss. "I take it everyone is OK?"

"Absolutely!" They spook in unison.

Grissom seemed unable to stop looking at Sara and had a silly grin on his face. "Catherine, can you take over the scene for me, please?"

"Sure Gil, do you need to go to the hospital?"

"No, I'm fine! Just a few flash burns and I've already been treated. I just need to get cleaned up and change into a pair of pants without holes.

"I'll drive him, Catherine." Sara did not wait for a response. She walked with Grissom to the Denali and helped him in.

Before she started the van, Sara turned to Grissom. "Gil, I have to know. Why did you finally kiss me?"

"You told me to." Grissom blushed slightly and then they both smiled.

"I see! I've wasted all this time waiting for you to make the first move. I'll have to remember that in the future. Just kiss you and tell you what I want."

"And what do you want, Sara?"

"You Gil, always you! I love you."

"Now there's a coincidence, I love you too, Sara."

"Oh, really! News to me, exactly when did you come to that conclusion?"

"Oh, I've known it for a long, long time. I just kept coming up with all these silly, logical and practical reasons not to act on it. Tonight I've decided to take the advice of my best friend and the woman I love to follow my heart."

Sara started to speak but Grissom put his finger on her lips, letting her know he wasn't finished. "I have been worried about appearances and what might happen to us in the future. Sara, I don't know what the future might bring but I don't want to be alone anymore. I stupidly let you go once and I nearly lost you once. I refuse to let anything, especially me, get in the way of us anymore. I love you, I need you and I want you, Sara Sidle." Grissom leaned over to kiss her again and Sara was more than willing.

After a toe curling kiss, she pulled back and searched his face. "You're sure about this? You're not going to change your mind next week and push me away again."

"I'm sure! I've run out of reasons, excuses and denials. Honey, can you forgive me for taking way too long to figure out in my head what my heart has been telling me to do all along?"

Sara caressed his face, being careful of the flash burns and kissed him quickly. "Absolutely! Let's get you home."

She tried to pull away to start the van but Grissom leaned in to kiss her again and expanded the kiss until she had to gently push him away.

"Unless you want me to trash a city vehicle, you'll have to stop that……at least for now. Let me take you home."

Grissom slid over, took her in his arms and finished the kiss. "I am home."


	10. Chapter 10

Author's note: Many thanks for all the great reviews. Glad you like it so far. I do not mean to disappoint GSR romance fans but I can not write smut scenes ( but I do love reading them so thank you to the very talented authors that can). There is a scene missing between the end of Chapter 9 and the start of Chapter 10, a rather obvious one. Grissom and Sara's first time together. So I will leave each reader to fill in that blank with their own imagination. I'm sure every GSR fan has thought about it, even had fantasized several different scenarios for that first time, from torrid to sweet, playful to passionate. The next few chapters deal with the bumps along the way in any new relationship. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Gil Grissom leaned back against his couch in front of the fireplace, a bemused smile played on his face as he poured more wine into their glasses. He looked up when he heard her return from the kitchen, she offered to put the leftovers from their dinner away. "I don't know why I fought against this for so long?"

Sara Sidle smiled and reached for his outstretched hand. She sat down beside him on the floor, all she was wearing was one of his long sleeve dress shirts. Taking a glass from him with a kiss, she sipped her wine slowly. "I don't know why either." Grissom slipped down beside her and put his arm around her shoulders as they settled in front of the couch. "It's going to be tricky working together everyday trying to keep our little secret from Ecklie."

"Why should this be a secret, Sara? Other people in the lab date all the time. Sara just looked at him. "I know, I know.....I'm your supervisor. Catherine will have to do your reviews from now on."

"I don't care about the reviews. Ecklie wants you gone, Gil. Since he became the director, it's like he has this personal vendetta against you. Everything he does is to harass you enough to quit."

"I am ashamed to say I'm guilty of harassing him.......and enjoying it too."

"The difference is you do it to force him to make decisions for the good of the lab. I know he's tried to get you fired and now he'll try anything to force you to leave."

"I do not want to talk about Conrad Ecklie! He can't fire me. He can only make a recommendation to the Sheriff, which he won't do unless he can find a replacement. In fact, I may be able to get Warrick back permanently on nights, we've been so busy lately."

"Please just be careful, I don't trust that slimy bastard. I know he hates me. We don't have to sneak around but I'd be more comfortable if he knows nothing about us at all."

"Whatever you want my love!"

He kissed her palm. When she gestured to her lips, he kissed them also, several times.

"Whatever I want?" Sara smiled and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"What did you have in mind? Kindly remember, I am old enough to be your father."

"What I am thinking about is not exactly daughterly. Come on, old man. "

Getting up she pulled him up and towards the bedroom, he allows himself to be tugged.

"Yes, dear!"

* * *

Much later, Sara woke slowly. She was relaxed and at peace for the first time in a very long time. She loved to sleep in his arms. Trying to stretch, she felt a weight pressed on and around her. Cradled between her breasts was the head of the man she had loved for nearly ten years. Her most cherished dream had come true but it was still a little hard to believe. Cautiously she moved to see his face. At her movement, he snuggled against her and fell back into sleep. Sara did not need to see his face, she had memorized every curve and line of it. Yet, somehow this was the face of Gil Grissom she had never seen before. There were no dark circles under his eyes, no tension in his face or body. Whatever he was dreaming of brought the trace of a smile to his lips.

A smile tugged at her own lips as she fought the impulse to kiss him awake and to run her hands through the short tight curls in his hair. She love the feel of his hair. Sara had watched his hair slowly change in the years since they first met in San Francisco. He had worn his hair much longer then, it had been a sun-bleached mass of curls. His hair had gotten darker and he wore it much shorter now. She also loved the other changes, as the touch of grey in his hair gradually advanced from just the temples to a full frame around his face. The face itself had not changed much in nearly ten years but his body was thicker, fuller. Sara smiled as she remembered that he had been so concerned that he was too heavy when they made love.

She had expected to take the lead in matters of sex but he had surprised her there also. Gil was a gentle, patient and generous lover. His touches and kisses never demanded but softly persuaded her to respond. Each response made Sara want him that much more. He responded to her needs almost as she felt them, as if reading her mind. Yet she knew what he wanted and needed too. Sara loved to hear him laugh but felt no pressure to please him. There was no fear, no disappointment and no regret after they made love. She once thought she knew Gil Grissom well but now he was even more of a mystery.

Much as she hated to admit it, he was a puzzle. Perhaps that was part of her attraction to him. He always had a sense of command yet maintained a distance. Grissom watched and analyzed everyone and everything with an aloof intelligence, some called arrogance. It was aggravating that he rarely showed surprise at people or events but she knew they often made him unhappy or annoyed. Her challenge had been to touch him, to breach the wall that seemed to surround him. His cryptic blue eyes guarded that wall, and Sara was still learning how to read his eyes. She knew beneath his calm exterior was a passionate man with a loving heart. Vulnerability always touched him whether it was the death of an infant, a child hurt or in trouble, a woman physically or mentally abused or any victim of prejudice. What brought out his anger was intelligence or power used to hurt others or destroy someone just for amusement or money.

She continued to watch him sleep as her thoughts returned to the events of the last three days. If ever there was a day of strange contrasts, Thursday was a day and night that would live in her mind and heart forever. The day had not started well. DNA evidence everyone hoped would catch and convict a serial rapist had only proved their one and only suspect in a string of brutal assaults and a murder, was innocent. Gil had been angry, not at her but at himself. He had admitted and apologized for his mistakes. He felt that the premature assumptions he made before all the evidence had been analyzed allowed the real suspect a chance to escape and perhaps kill again. He hated to make mistakes when the lives of others were at stake.

Sara had also been angry that day. She was not sure now if her anger had been at Grissom, because he had ordered her around. That was something that never failed to infuriate her but it was also something he rarely did. Maybe the anger was more for herself. Not only had her stupid but brief affair with Ian Flynn been exposed rather publicly. The marks he had left on her neck and arms announced to the lab staff that she had been drunk and slept with a man she did not know, who might have killed her. Even now her cheeks burned with that humiliation. Grissom did not judge her, he never did. The hurt and pain in his eyes when he saw the bruises had been far worse than any words he could ever say. Still he tried to help her career at the expense of his own, writing a commendation for both herself and Mike Dunlop. He had given them full credit for finding and catching the real rapist John Lewis, before he could kill again. He told her about that commendation just minutes before she nearly lost him forever.

Sara did not want to relive the explosion but it replayed over and over in her mind endlessly. She remembered the deafening sound, falling down and then turning to see the man she loved lying on the ground not moving. Her only thoughts were to reach him, to touch him, to know that she had not lost him. Sara tried not to think about what might have happened. Instead of the few flash burns he received on his face and leg that were already healing; he might have been badly burned, blinded, lost an arm or leg or even been killed. The memory of those frightening moments caused Sara to tighten her arms around him which woke Grissom up.

Gil Grissom had been dreaming of taking a vacation with Sara, sailing down the Atlantic coast in a small sloop built for two. It was one of the many things on the rapidly growing list of things he wanted to do before he died. He had mentally started the list a few months before when several horrific events reminded him rather forcefully of his own mortality. Perhaps those incidents and nearly losing Sara was what finally pushed him into her arms and her into his bed. He had spent the last three days and nights with Sara. They had been the happiest days of his life. He woke in response to Sara's arms tightening around him. Fully awake, he realized that something was very wrong. Grissom rolled over to gather Sara against him reaching for the covers. Her body was ice cold and tears rolled down her face from haunted eyes.

"Sara honey, what's wrong?"

"Hold me, please? I went to check your pulse but I couldn't make my hand move."

Grissom was unprepared for the raging emotions that poured from the woman in his arms. It was like trying to hold a hurricane. She would not or could not speak to tell him any more about what was wrong. With no other option he held her tightly as tears rained on his chest and sobs shook Sara, which left her gasping for breath. He tried to murmur words to quiet her fears, to let her know he was fine and that everything was all right. His words were lost in the flood of tears that he was powerless to stop. On the rare occasions in the past, when he had held Catherine to comfort her; she would shed some tears but then quickly regained control. The waves of sadness and fear he could feel from Sara frightened him almost as much as the feeling of her body cold and shaking against him. After what seemed like hours, her tears slowed. Sara's body relaxed against him and slowly warmed up. Her breathing returned to normal. Afraid to ask what had started the torrent, he continued to hold her in silence until she drifted into sleep.

Grissom was uncomfortable with intense emotions. In his job, he often saw the tragic result of emotions out of control. He tried to avoid or diffuse situations involving high emotions, his own or others, relying on his extensive education to think his way out of situations. He had a bad temper and learned early on that the healthy release of his emotions was often very unhealthy for those around him. His job required that he remain calm and objective. Grissom tried to show very little emotion. He knew that most people called him cold.

Perhaps that was why he loved Sara, she was his exact opposite. He had never met such a passionate person, though she often scared or confused him. In just a few short days, he had become the focus for most of that passion. She loved him so deeply; at times it was both humbling and overwhelming. Until Sara, sex for him had never been complicated. It was a pleasant way to have fun, to scratch an itch or relieve tension. Only once before, a very long time ago, had he ever been so emotionally invested with his partner. He had been very young, too young. He had lost her to his anger. Since then, Grissom had not really felt anything for anyone until Sara walked into his classroom. He fought so long and hard not to love her and now he had lost that battle. Like most battles, now that it was over, he was not sure why he fought at all. She had always been special to him. Now Sara was part of him. He needed her in his life. It had taken him ten years to realize she was his life. It was right for him but what about Sara? Did he have the right to ask her to stay with him?

In her sleep, Sara snuggled against him. The feel of her skin, now very warm, ignited his need. Making love with Sara was becoming addictive. One look, a smile or a touch and he wanted her again. That was hardly surprising, she was so beautiful. Grissom was stunned to discover that Sara wanted him too.....and how much she wanted him. Why she wanted him was a puzzle he could not solve. Sara had rejected both Nick and Mike to be with him. Why would she choose him? Confused but very happy, Grissom kissed Sara's forehead gently. He loved to look at her, so he allowed Sara to sleep in peace, unwilling to wake her for his own selfish needs. He was soon lost in his memories of the last three days.

Suddenly, the words Sara said just before the storm of tears erupted made sense. In an explosion on Thursday night, he had the wind knocked out of him. She was kneeling at his side when he came to. Her eyes tonight had that same haunted look in them as just after the explosion. That look had not gone away until she kissed him. The memory of that kiss, their first kiss, still sent shock waves through him. The jolt had jumpstarted his heart. Sara's kiss had opened the tomb of emotions and needs Grissom thought were long dead. Her love had resurrected dreams he'd buried long ago for a home and family. Could he be or give her what she needed? He wasn't even sure what that was. Was it too late for him? For them? Something Catherine once asked him sprang into his mind. "Have you ever asked Sara what she wants? No, I'll bet you haven't!" It couldn't possibly be that simple? Could it? What if Sara said no? Maybe rather than risk outright rejection, he would ease Sara into the idea of a life together with him. He would start by asking her to move in with him, but how? Lost in his thoughts he did not notice that Sara eyes had opened.

"Why are you looking so serious?" Sara kissed him good morning.

"I was worried about you. You scared the hell out of me, Sara. Can you tell me about it now?"

"I'm sorry I worried you. It was just a very bad dream." She caressed his face.

"I know. I had that same bad dream when I nearly lost you last April. Are you OK now?"

"Absolutely, just hungry but you never have any food in your house." She started to nibble on his neck and ears.

"Sorry, I am not on the menu. We can order in again or go out for breakfast, well brunch. There are several places just around the corner."

"Or we can we can go to the grocery store, get some food and make breakfast. There is a small room off your living room called a kitchen. It's where you put food and make meals to be eaten without the general public in attendance."

"Oh, so that's what that room is for? I've always wondered. Two problems with your idea Sara; I own next to nothing to cook with and I don't really know how to cook, except the basics."

"Come on, get dressed. We can solve one problem with a quick trip to Wal-Mart, getting some food and a few other necessities. Then I can show you the secrets of quick meals that taste great. I worked by way through college as a waitress and part time cook. I think a man with as many degrees as you have should be able to grasp the basics pretty quickly."

He reached up and pulled Sara back into bed, kissing her several times. "How about if I just keep you here all the time……Sara, move in here with me, please?"

Grissom was stunned. He hadn't planned to say anything and certainly not to have the most important question in his life just pop out that way. His heart pounded waiting for an answer.

She laughed. "So you want me to be you're live in cook, housekeeper and sex-slave?"

"Sara! That's not what I meant."

"Oh Gil, some times you really are such an old man. I was teasing you. You looked so serious......Oh my god! You were serious."

"I didn't mean to just blurt it out like that, but yes I am."

Why?"

"Why? I think that's rather obvious. I love you Sara and I want to be with you all the time. I think we both can agree, I've wasted too much time already."

"I love you Gil and I'm pretty sure you love me but you've lived all alone for a very long time. I will stay with you whenever you want me to but I think you might want to take some time to get used to sharing your life and home with me before I just pack up my things and move in. As much as I want to, I think we both need to be sure before jumping into anything more permanent. Don't look so sad! I didn't say no. Let's just say I just want some time to think about it. May I remind you, Dr. Grissom, you kept me waiting almost ten years! I think I'd like to torture you for a little while. Besides, we don't have to settle anything today except your kitchen." She kissed him until he smiled. "OK, now let's go. I need to check what you actually have in your kitchen before we leave." She wandered to his small kitchen area. "You don't even own a toaster? Didn't your mother ever teach you to make toast or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?"

Watching her wander around his kitchen in her bra and panties, opening draws and cabinets was a picture his mind would recall for years to come. He exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and reluctantly finished dressing.

"My mother was not very domestic, like her son. She knew there was a kitchen in the house but I don't think she really knew what it was there for. After my dad died, I lived at school until I left for college. Sara, can we please ease into this cooking thing? I'm hungry now. I'll buy brunch and then we can buy what's needed to try cooking dinner. Is it a deal?"

"Deal! See you're getting practice already at the art of compromise." She handed him a long list for shopping. "Are you ready to go?"

"I am but I think you've overlooked one minor thing, like getting dressed. I think you look…um stunning in that outfit but it wouldn't look good if you got arrested in just that."

"I was putting it off as long as possible. My clothes still smell of gunpowder from Thursday night." Sara shuddered involuntarily. "Maybe I can find something else to wear while we are out or we can stop by my place to get a few things that I can leave here."

Grissom nodded and reached to retrieve Sara's shirt from the couch. "I think that can be arranged."


	11. Metamorphosis Chapter Eleven

Grissom and Sara tried to keep anything personal very low key at the lab. A casual caress or a quick kiss when they assumed no one was looking. Sara or Grissom would close the door to his office for some alone time after checking the corridor. The other member of the swing and night shifts turned a blind eye to this and made sure no one else noticed. Grissom had to be careful not to work too many crime scenes with Sara. Although Brass made a snide comment that the "geek mind meld" was back at full strength. Sara's place was too close to the lab for Grissom to come to her very often but she would drive there first for appearances. She liked to stay at his townhouse. They didn't have to pretend at his home, in bed or at the breakfast table, until they got into separate cars in his garage to go to the lab. The lab was still experiencing high call volumes but almost everyone seemed happier in the weeks since "the kiss".

There was only one car in his garage on the morning Grissom had to leave his house early in the morning for a court appearance, he was dressed in a suit and tie. Later that afternoon Sara drove to Grissom's place but his car was not in the garage when she arrived. Sara sat in her car to wait and was singing with the radio as he pulled in.

"Hey, you're late. How was court?"

"Sorry you had to wait. Evidence never lies, the case was a slam dunk."

"I think you're hanging around Warrick too much. It's my turn to start dinner. Why don't you get out of that suit?" She noted he had already removed his tie. After dinner but before they left together for their evening shift, his cell phone rang.

"Gil, aren't you going to answer it?"

"No! It's Ecklie."

"I hate to bring up a minor point but he is technically our boss."

"He is not calling about work. He has been trying for weeks to get me to go on a public lecture tour again this year."

"Sounds like fun!"

"It's not. Six weeks of horrible room service breakfasts and dinners and god-awful ballroom luncheons. I hate hotel beds and food, doesn't matter if it is Boston, New York, Philly, Chicago, Baltimore or DC. Besides I'm very happy right where I am, getting pretty spoiled too. If I go, who will scrub my back?" Sara grinned and walked to the sink with her dishes. Grissom came up behind her hugging her waist. "Sara, I'd miss you too much. Of course, you could use some of your fifty plus days of sick time and vacation time you have accumulated and come with me."

"Oh right! Like Conrad Ecklie is going to give me time off while you're away."

"Exactly my point! This is not the best time to have anyone out of the office. We have been so busy. With all the colleges gearing up for the new fall semester, we will start the annual hazing calls soon and then the big fight nights of October follow quickly after that."

Grissom's home phone started to ring. "Answer the phone and just tell him no. Wait! If you say no, can he hurt you? Take away the night shift away from you or make more changes to who is on your shift? I do not want to get stuck with Ecklie as my supervisor even temporarily."

"He can try. He did it once before and all the shifts solve rates dropped, so I'll be getting Warrick back soon. Catherine needs Nick right now. She has two brand new people."

"Answer the phone. If you don't, I will and then you'll really have some explaining to do."

"Go ahead Sara, answer it! I love you and I don't give a damn who knows or care what anyone else says about us. I am tired of looking over my shoulder and always having to be so careful of what I say, when I say it and where. Maybe it's time to go to the Sheriff about that stupid regulation."

She walked away wanting to avoid an argument. "Fine then, don't answer it."

"Sara, I love your strength and intelligence, your compassion and your heart. It amazes me that after everything you've been through, that you can still love someone, anyone and the someone that you chose is me. It has taken me way too long to tear down walls I built nearly thirty years ago. You make me feel alive again for the first time in a very long time. We have nothing to hide, this isn't some tacky affair. You are the other half of my heart."

She walked away but stopped with her back to him. "Damn it, I hate to cry."

He took her into his arms. "Sara, move in here with me, please?"

"Why can't we leave things just as they are?" She checked her watch, she wiped away a stray tear. "Can we please talk about this later? Time for work, my boss is a real pain when I'm late."

"Very funny, Ms. Sidle! This discussion is not over with, count on it."

* * *

Arriving at work, Grissom was told to go immediately to Ecklie's office.

"Look Grissom, the lectures highlight all the great work we do here in Las Vegas. The tour puts this lab in the national spotlight. Maybe we can squeeze a bigger budget from the city."

"Conrad, I have done the tour twice in the last five years. Why can't someone else go this time? Besides, it's September, hazing at the colleges always causes a spike of calls and then the October fight nights are just around the corner. Remember last year?"

"I think we can handle the case load with you out for a few weeks."

"Six weeks! I saw the lecture schedule. I just don't want to be away that long just now."

"Are there new problems with your hearing, if you need more surgery…"

"I am fine. Conrad don't you remember I was required to give you my doctor's certification. Why don't you go?"

"They, that is, the Sheriff's Office, specifically asked for you."

The office door flew open as Greg ran in. "We got a bad one, multi-car pileup on I-15. Several fatalities confirmed. Catherine and Sara called in for all the backup we've got." Grissom got up to leave instantly without a word.

"We are not done here, Grissom."

"We are now. I'm calling a code one, all hands to the scene. That includes you, Greg!"

Grissom saw the look of panic on the young man's face and knew his suspicions were right. Greg's limp had nothing to due with pain or muscle weakness. He was afraid to go back out into the field. Grissom had sent Greg out on a few easy cases but they had sparked no interest from him in returning to field duty. So now it was sink or swim time for the lab rat! Grissom would have his answer today if he had lost a CSI or gained a permanent lab rat.

* * *

At the scene, police and CSI assisted in several rescues: Nick helped a paramedic to free a trapped woman with the Jaws of Life. Greg gently lifted the body of a deceased infant from a burnt out wreck. He walked away holding the hand of his not much older brother, who was somehow unharmed. Warrick smashed a windshield to free a trapped man from a burning car, he ran with him before the car blew up and shouted to alert all the others.

"GET DOWN, IT"S GONNA BLOW!"

Grissom quickly scanned the scene to verify where his people were, especially Sara. Both Catherine and Sara were well away from the car fire. They were helping the paramedics check out kids from a day care bus on its side. Sara looked up at Warrick's yell and met Grissom's eyes for a second before the car blew up. Black smoke blanketed the scene and did not clear until the firemen foamed down the burnt shell of the car as several more ambulances arrived.

Back in the office a few hours later, they all sat grimy and exhausted around the table in the conference room. Grissom got information on body counts and evidence gathered.

"We've confirmed there were 25 vehicles involved, 20 dead, and 34 injured and taken to Desert Palms. Another 16, mostly kids were checked out and released at the scene. Who was first on the scene again?"

"Sara and I were. The white mini-van started the whole thing. They cut across three lanes of traffic and tried to exit down an on-ramp. Tourists!" Catherine shook her head in disgust.

"Well let's hope we've had our major crisis for the month. Oh, thanks Greg. Everyone grab a drink and hit the showers. Good job!" Taking two drinks he brought them over to Catherine and Sara. "I'm going to need someone to follow up at the hospital?"

"Sorry, Grissom! I am off as of right now."

"OK, Goodnight Catherine." She took her drink and left.

"Are you OK, Sara?"

"Don't! I felt you watching me today. I don't want to second-guess myself and get hurt or worse get someone else hurt. I know what I am doing. I can take care of myself. "

"Sara, I wasn't checking up on you. I wanted to make sure everyone was OK. You are damned good at your job. As your boss I was proud of you today. Proud of all of you! I was asking about you, Sara. Do you want to talk? We are alone."

"Talk about what, the accident, the lecture tour, the caseload? I'll do the follow up at the hospital." She got up and started to leave.

"Sara, what about an answer to my earlier question? Will you move in with me?"

"Everything has been great just as it is. Why change anything?"

"Because it looks like I may have to go on that stupid lecture tour again."

"What difference does it make where I stay if you won't even be here?"

"Well, we would have about week together before I have to leave. But more importantly your apartment building isn't secure, Sara. There has been a stabbing and a robbery there recently. It would give me peace of mind to know that you are safe at my place."

"That's not why! You're afraid Ian might come back."

"Yes I am, Sara. I won't lie to you. Do you really want to run into him again?"

"No! Let me think about it, Gil. Give me some time, please?"

"Where are you going, Sara?"

"To the showers and then I'm going to the hospital to do the follow up."

Sara walked quickly to the ladies room feeling sick. The thought of running into Ian did scare her. What scared her more is the fear of giving into her desire to move in with Grissom. In the past, her relationships had been disasters. Something always happened to end them. The last several weeks had been the happiest time of her life. She felt that any changes could somehow end the dream. Once her stomach settled, Sara washed away the grime from the accident and went to the hospital for the follow up interviews and collection of evidence. Sara managed to avoid Grissom for the rest of the shift and did not go to his house after work. She had spent so little time at her own apartment, there were several phone messages waiting but Sara turned off her phone and sat on the couch in front of the television, not that she ever looked at it.

At work the next day, she was at her locker when Grissom called out to her.

"Sara, can I see you please?"

"Grissom, before you say anything. I needed some time alone."

"I understand, Sara. I'm very sorry if you felt pressured yesterday. I guess I'm overcompensating. I took things with us too slowly for so long.....you will have all the time and space you need to think about things. I'll be leaving for Boston at the end of the week and I won't be back for six weeks." He took a key from his pocket. "This is yours to use or not. Will you come over to my place after shift....please, Sara?"

"I may have to pull a double. Warrick burned his hand yesterday. It's not bad but he can't work in the field."

"I've already been to see him and made sure he stayed overnight at the hospital. He will be working in the lab for the next few days so Greg and I will be helping out with his cases."

"What do you have for me?" Avoiding the issue, she took an assignment slip. Sara was leaving as Catherine entered Grissom's office.

"Gil, I'm heading out now and we have a few leftovers."

"OK! What's left?" Catherine gave him a brief rundown but he was not really listening.

"Earth to Grissom! I know your hearing is OK now. Is there something wrong? Gil, are you feeling OK? Don't tell me you've had a fight with Sara already?" Grissom looked up stunned. "Like I didn't know what is going on between you two? Come on spill it."

"That obvious? Fine, I asked her to move in with me. She hasn't spoken to me since then, except about work. I am just not any good at this relationship stuff. What did I do wrong, Catherine? Or am I fooling myself? Am I too old or is she too young for this to work?"

"Oh please! Age has nothing to do with it. She is scared!"

"Sara, scared? Scared of me? I'd very hurt her." He was totally puzzled.

"Scared of loosing you and or scared of being too happy. Like a kid with her first candy bar. Too afraid to really enjoy it and afraid it will be taken away. Hurt she understands. That's all she has ever known. Gil, give her some time. You need to take it slow. Sara trusts you as a friend and she loves you. The rest will happen in time."

"I have to leave for six weeks. The Sheriff roped me into that damned lecture tour again."

"Perfect! Let her miss you. Call her, just not every night. You know what they say about absence making the heart grow fonder. It will work out."

"I hope so. OK! Thanks, Cath."

"Well I'm off then, here are the leftovers. Good luck!"

After shift, alone at his house, Grissom sat down to eat. He was not hungry and only played with the food on his plate until he heard the lock turn on his front door. "Sara? Hi!"

"Hi! It works." She held up the key he had given her earlier.

"Are you hungry? Would you like something? I'll even cook."

"I brought a yogurt. You did the shopping last. You never buy anything healthy to eat."

He ignored her gentle tease. "As long as you're here with me! I missed you so much yesterday. I don't think I can survive six weeks away from you, Sara. May I call you?"

"You'd better. When do you leave?"

"Sunday after Labor Day, I'm taking off at 4pm. I was going to take a red-eye but I need to be somewhat coherent to deliver a lecture when I arrive. I'll also have to update all my lecture materials before I go."

"Well let's eat so we can get to work."

"Not just now, Sara. Please?" He kissed her very gently several times, soon the kisses became more intense and food was forgotten. He walked her to the bedroom and they closed the door.


	12. Chapter 12

Grissom closed his notes later in the week. "Last lecture is updated, thank you for your help, Sara."

"I laid out your things for the trip. You want to check to see if you need anything else, then I can help you pack. I hope some of your hotels have a laundry."

"Wow, this is a lot more organized than I usually am. I wind up buying socks, ties or other things at the hotel gift shops."

Neither wanted to talk about tomorrow's separation until the next morning when they would share their last Sunday Brunch for six weeks.

After brunch, Grissom helped Sara with the dishes, until he frowned at the clock. "Well I'm all set and it's getting late. I'd better call a cab."

"I can drive you to the airport." Grissom just shook his head. "Afraid I'll cry in public and embarrass you, Gil?" Sara teased him, trying to keep it light.

"Afraid I will." He called a cab from the bedroom phone and returned with his bags.

Sara finished up in the kitchen as Grissom put his luggage by the front door.

"God Sara, I am really going to miss you."

"Call me tonight. I want to make sure you got there safely." She kissed him quickly but he pulled her into a hug.

"I don't want to go!" He held her tightly. The sound of a horn from the driveway made Sara pull away from him abruptly.

"Cab is here! Have fun and I'll see you in six weeks. You'll be great."

Grissom opened the door and let the driver take his bags. He turned back to Sara and kissed her deeply. "One for the road! I'll call you later."

Sara closed the door before the cab left so he wouldn't see her tears.

Less than an hour later Grissom was settled on the plane. He pulled out his cell phone and debated if he should call her. He scanned the pictures he'd taken of Sara.

An older woman who sat beside him and leaned over. "Pretty girl. Is she your daughter?" Seeds of doubt festered in his mind as he closed and put away the phone.

"No, she's not." Years of habit kicked in and he could not say, "She is the woman I love."

All afternoon Sara sat by his phone and picked it up on the first ring. "Hello?"

"Hello from Boston! I'm here in one piece, Sara."

"Hi! I was starting to worry. It must be very late there. Was there a problem on your flight?"

"No, just traffic from the airport. Taxi lines here are almost as bad as Vegas. Right now I'm looking out at the Atlantic Ocean. I can see this huge cargo ship in the water all lit up. I was on the balcony earlier but it's a bit chilly here. "

"I loved the harbor area in Boston! Are you OK? You sound funny."

"Just tired, I hate to fly........I miss you."

"Try to get some sleep. You have a busy day tomorrow. Good luck, Night, Gil."

"OK, thanks! Goodnight, Sara."

She hung up and wrapped herself tighter in his robe and breathed in his scent.

"I miss you too." She wiped away her tears with the sleeve. "I love you."

Grissom spent all day, everyday at the lectures and luncheons but then spent each night alone in his hotel room. Every day he had to force himself not pick up the phone to call her. Sara spent her nights at work and her days alone at her apartment or at Grissom's. Every day they both marked off another day on a calendar, twenty days to go. They called each other on weekends but neither wanted to be the first to say how miserable they were all alone.

* * *

Catherine picked up the phone in her office. "Crime Lab, Willows!"

"Hi, Catherine!"

"Hey, Gil! Thank God it's only you. If one more person bangs in sick today, I'll have to bring in a cot."

"Why, what's going on?"

"Some kind of flu! One third of the lab is out. Nick was out most of last week. Mike and Greg have been out since Monday. Both Warrick and Sara left early once this week."

"That's why I'm calling. I haven't been able to reach Sara at my place or hers or on her cell."

"I'm fine Gil, thanks for asking."

"Sorry, Cath! I wish I could help you but I'm leaving for Baltimore and they changed my hotel. Sara has the wrong phone number. I wanted to make sure that she and you have the right number to reach me……you know, for emergencies."

"Ah huh right, give it to me. Having fun?"

"You know I did this about three years ago and it was kind of fun. Now I can't wait to come home."

"Oh Grissom, that's so sweet! You miss me." Catherine could not resist the chance to tease him, it was such a rare an opportunity.

"Right! Hey Catherine, if Sara calls in or you see her, please give her the new number. Please ask her to give me a call."

"OK, gotta go, Bye!"

"Bye, Catherine. Good luck!"

Catherine heard the loneliness in his voice. She knew just how hard the separation had been on them both. However, she wondered it was just the flu that made Sara leave early. When the telephone rang again, Catherine just stared at it.

* * *

A few days later Grissom still had not heard from Sara. He was up early because he wanted to try to call her just after shift, he reached for the phone just as it rang. "Sara?"

"Sorry for the early call Dr. Grissom, this is Sylvia from the tour office. There has been a terror alert at the convention center. Homeland Security has shut down the building and Hazmat needs to clear the site. We have cancelled today's entire lecture schedule."

"I understand. I'm sorry but I can't reschedule this lecture until Monday. I am expected in Virginia."

"Yes Sir, that is also why I'm calling. I've been able to reschedule most of today's guests to Virginia on Tuesday. I've also cancelled Monday's lecture and combined the two groups on Tuesday in a larger auditorium. The Virginia location is only 40 miles from DC. All the information is being faxed to you now. Have a great long weekend off, Dr. Grissom."

Without hesitation he called the airlines for the first flight home to Sara. Six long hours later, Grissom walked happily through the Vegas airport, until he was stopped by the sight of the incredibly long weekend lines for taxis.

"Damn it!" His mind searched for an answer until a police officer walked past him. Grissom stopped the young cadet and read his badge. "Hello, Officer Haines. I'm Gil Grissom, I am with CSI." He flashed his ID. "I need to get back to my office." He pointed to the long taxi lines. "Can you help me?"

"Sure, Sir! I was just heading back to the station. My car is right out that door, hop in. I'll be just a few more minutes."

As Grissom arrived at the Lab, Warrick had come in early to help out and was returning from his last call.

"Hey Grissom, you're back early! Welcome home, we sure can use you."

"People still out sick?"

"Half the lab was out yesterday."

"How's your hand, Rick?" Grissom opened the lab door and they entered the building together.

Catherine and Sara were in the lockers, unaware that Grissom was back in Vegas.

"Still feeling rotten, Sara?"

"I'm OK for now but by the end of my shift around 6 or 7 in the morning, I feel horrible. Maybe it's the flu or I just hate the thought of going back to my place alone again. I just miss him so much……I'm really sorry, Catherine. You really don't need to listen to this. So how many people called in sick today?" Sara got up and quickly had to sit back down, then had to make a run for the ladies room.

Catherine had pulled so many double shifts recently that she made good on her threat to bring in a bed. An Aero bed was rolled up in a bag under her desk. She walked to her office and wondered if she would be pulling another double shift. She also wondered if Sara illness was perhaps not the flu......something that seven or eight more months would cure. She was lost in happy thoughts that there might soon be a baby for Gil and Sara when she practically walked into Grissom.

"Hey Catherine, Surprise!"

"Grissom? What are you doing here? I thought you were in DC or Virginia?"

"I'm not here officially but my lecture for today and Monday got cancelled, so I paid for this trip home. Is Sara here or out on an assignment?"

"She's here. Whoa, Grissom! She is in the ladies room."

"Wow! Look at all the calls, you really are backed up."

"Want to help, unofficially?"

"Sure, just give me a minute." He walked past Catherine to the lockers.

"Gil, wait!"

Sara was in the ladies room and waited impatiently for her stomach to calm down. A nagging question came back over and over. One of the messages on her answering machine was from her doctor. The message was several weeks old asking her call for an appointment. She did not need a check-up but she had forgotten to get an updated prescription for her birth control patches. Since Grissom left, she had been living more or less at his place. Before that, she could not remember when she had last changed her patch. Even more upsetting was when she located the box of patches in her apartment it was empty. She was not sure exactly when she had run out of the patches. Her mind was filled with a jumble of thoughts. Could I be pregnant? What if I am? Should I tell him? How can I burden him with a baby? Of all the stupid mistakes!

Catherine entered the ladies room through the showers. "Sara, are you sick? Do you need to go home?"

"It's my stomach. I think it's just the flu but.............Oh God Cath, I might be pregnant!"

"Congratulations!"

Sara head snapped up thinking Catherine was being sarcastic but she quickly realized that she was saying exactly how she felt and was very happy at the idea.

"Sara think, a baby with Gil's genius and your street smarts would be one amazing child."

"What am I going to do? This is all my fault. No, I can't saddle him with a baby, not at his age. I've screwed everything up again. It was perfect, just the two of us. Just 15 more days, he'll be home. I was going to surprise him and be all moved into his house by the time he comes home."

"I guess he wanted to surprise you too, Sara. Gil is here. He came home for the weekend."

Sara heart pounded. "He's here!" As upset as she was just moments ago, now her only thoughts were about Grissom. "He came home to surprise me?" Sara quickly left the ladies room only to see him as he leaned against the last locker waiting for her a few feet away.

"Sara!" He said her name softly, his voice somewhere between a whisper and a prayer. Grissom gathered Sara in his arms and kissed her. Like a man dying of thirst, one kiss was not enough. All thoughts of where they were or who could see them were lost on them both.

Catherine smiled as she watched her best friend lost in a lovers embrace. She reached over and closed Greg's mouth as he watched Grissom kiss Sara for the first time. A group soon formed watching them as they continued to kiss oblivious to everyone. Ecklie walked out into the hallway. He wanted to figure out why everyone was just standing around. As the kiss slowly ended, Catherine saw Ecklie and loudly clapped for the group's attention. "OK Everyone! Grissom is home safe and sound. Everyone get back to work."

Grissom took Sara by the hand and walked back to his office. He was unaware that Ecklie followed them and nearly shut the door in his face. In the office he continued to kiss Sara. "God, I missed you, Sara! Let me look at you. It feels so good to hold you."

"Welcome home, Gil! I missed you too. What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you for at least two more weeks."

"My lecture today and on Monday got cancelled. I don't have to go back to Virginia until late Monday night. We have three whole days to be together. Let's go home Sara."

"Gil, I can't just leave, much as I want to. Catherine is short people. I've been out sick a few days myself."

"Are you OK? I've been worried. I called you almost every day. You do look flushed."

"And you look very tired. Let me drop you off at your place so you can get some sleep and I'll meet you right after my shift."

"Is something wrong, Sara?" It was her tone more than the words that had Grissom worried.

She refused to ruin the weekend by telling him about her mistake and the possible pregnancy. "No, of course not but I think our secret is out of the bag."

"Good! You're shaking Sara! Something is wrong."

"No. This was just such a wonderful surprise." She kissed him again. "Thank you!"

Sara opened the door to his office. "Catherine, I'm taking Grissom to his place, I'll be right back." As they drove to his house Sara quickly diverted him. "So, tell me about your trip?"

Pulling up at his house, she got out to unlock the door as Grissom took his bags from the back seat. He put his things down on the couch and scanned the room. He could see some changes and he realized that Sara has moved in more of her things.

"Sorry to drop you and run but I've got to get back. I'll be back here as soon as I can."

"No!" Gil took Sara by the arms and led her to the couch.

"Gil, I can't stay. It's not fair to Catherine and the others, please!"

Now he knew that there was something wrong because she refused to look at him. "Sara, talk to me. What's wrong? I came home because I couldn't stand to be away from you for one more day. I love you! If things have changed for you, please tell me now."

She did not understand his words or his meaning. All she could think about was the possibility of a baby and how quickly she could confirm if she was pregnant or not.

"Sara, I spent most of the time we spent apart thinking about us. I came up with a hundred good reasons why we should end this now. You are so young and so beautiful."

"No, I'm not." Sara desperately tried not to cry.

"Yes you are! Sara, I am 50 years old. You could be my daughter. I picked up the phone so many times to call you. You should be with someone younger. The minute I saw you today, I knew I could never let you go. Before I left, I drove to my mother's old house in Henderson to get this. I've been trying to work up the courage to ask you to marry me." He took a small ring box from his desk. "Sara, I don't have to tell you I'm no bargain. I will try to make you happy, as happy as you make me. I feel young again with you in my life. I don't want you to just move in here with me. I love you, Sara Sidle. I want you….no, I need you to be my wife, please? If something happens to me, I have to know you'll always be taken care of."

"Oh, God!" Sara was stunned by the ring. "Why do you have to be so sweet?"

"Because I love you and I want to marry you." He tried to give her the open ring box. "It was my mother's. You can pick out another ring if you prefer………Sara?"

Sara tried not to look but she saw an antique square cut diamond ring. She also saw his eyes, the love, the trust and the hope in them. She closed the box and handed it back to him.

"I can't. I want to but I can't. You don't know......you can't know. I have to go."

Sara ran out of the back door. It took Grissom a moment to recover. He put the ring box back into his desk and quickly walked to the kitchen for his car keys but they were gone. Sara had to have taken them. He heard her car as it backed out of the driveway and walked quickly outside but was just in time to see her car as it disappeared into the twilight. He snapped out of his inertia and walked to the phone.

"Catherine, Sara just left me in tears. I asked her to marry me. She turned me down and left. She took my car keys so I couldn't follow her. She is upset. I'm worried about her driving "

"She said no? Why? What did you say when she told you?"

"Told me what? Catherine, what didn't Sara tell me?"

"God damn it!" Catherine hung up on a confused and now very anxious Grissom. She closed her eyes and whispered. "Please Sara, don't do anything stupid."


	13. Chapter 13

A short while later Sara was calmer and drove back to the lab. A very worried Catherine met her at the door to the lab. "Sara, are you OK?"

"Sorry I took so long. What do you have for me?"

"Nothing, go home! You have too much on your mind right now. You're in no shape to work."

"Please Catherine, I need to think about something else.......anything else, just for tonight!"

Catherine handed her two assignment slips, the two easiest cases she had. "Sara, are those Gil's keys? He called me a little while ago, he's very worried about you."

"Yeah! He'll probably come by cab for them. I sent him a text message that the keys would be here. I just wanted to make sure he didn't follow me. I am so confused right now. If I see him, I won't be able to think straight. I need to know for sure, think and decide what to do."

"When Gil called, he told me that he asked you to marry him. I assume that you didn't tell him that you might be pregnant?"

Sara looked down, sighed miserably and shook her head no.

"Gil also told me that you said no, that you wouldn't marry him? Why Sara? You love him, he loves you. You want to be with him and he wants to marry you. He didn't ask you to marry him just because he felt pressured to do the right thing. He doesn't even know that you might be pregnant. Why did you say no?"

"I love him so much, I do, Cath. We come from two different worlds. He goes to the symphony, likes classical music, art galleries and literature. Have you seen the books on his shelves: philosophy, sociology, medicine, all the sciences, even law books? Sooner or later I would be an embarrassment to him. Gil deserves better than me, he deserves the best. He deserves someone else. Oh God, what a mess!" Sara started to leave.

"Sara, if you are pregnant, he has the right to know. It's his baby too. Are you so sure that he doesn't want to have children? Please talk to him, Sara. Tell him and decide together."

On the way to her next call Catherine drove over to Grissom's place with his keys. "Sara gave me these for you."

"Catherine, is she all right?" Catherine just nodded, not sure what to say or if she even had the right to butt in.

Dropping the keys on the table. "God, I did just what you told me not to do. I pushed her too fast. I asked Sara to marry me and she turned me down.....she said no. I really thought she loved me."

"She does love you. She told me so not ten minutes ago. Sara has this silly notion that she is not good enough for you." Catherine had his attention and suddenly she had an idea. "Look Gil, you know a lot more about Sara's past than I do. I don't need to know all the details to recognize a battered child when I see one. She is tough and strong on the outside but inside she is a scared little girl. In the past, every time someone said they loved her, she got hurt physically or emotionally. She built walls to stop being hurt."

"I know Catherine. We all build walls. Trust me, I am expert at it."

"It will take a lot of love and patience to break down those walls. If you really do love her, you have to give her time and keep asking her. Please don't take no for an answer."

"I don't suppose you want to tell me what she can't or won't tell me? No, don't answer that. I just don't know what to do next, Catherine. She won't even talk to me. I came home early to surprise her. I thought I could make her happy. God, what a mess!"

"Go to bed, you're exhausted Gil. Sara doesn't have to work tomorrow or all day Sunday. A lot can happen in two days."

* * *

Sara finished her shift and she was dead tired. The drive home had become automatic to Grissom's house and not her apartment. She drove by his house slowly but there were no lights on. Not sure what to say to Grissom or how to say it, Sara continued on to her apartment. She was still not feeling well and wondered for the hundredth time if she was sick with a bad flu or if she was pregnant. Sara had to know and had purchased a home pregnancy test. As she pulled into her apartment building's parking lot, she maneuvered into a space near her door. Exhausted and emotionally drained she did not see someone in the bushes by her door. As she opened her apartment door, the attacker jumped out and brought a knife to her throat. Her police training immediately kicked in. She elbowed her attacker in the stomach and stomped on his foot. They struggled for the weapon, as Sara wrestled for control she cut her attacker very deeply on his shoulder and upper arm. She dropped the knife as he ran off but Sara quickly realized the blood she saw all around her was not only his; her hand and wrist were cut and she was bleeding too. She took a towel from her apartment and wrapped around her hand to stop the blood as she dialed 911.

A short time later two patrol cars pulled up to her apartment and the officers recognized her as a CSI. One of the officers questioned her. The other officer followed the blood trail in search of her attacker. Sara became very upset as an ambulance arrived.

"No hospitals! I'm OK officer. The cut has stopped bleeding already. It's just a scratch."

"Sorry Sara, you know that it is procedure. Some one from your office will meet us at the hospital. CSI has already been called but they are a little backed up. I can take you to the hospital in the squad car if you'd be more comfortable. They found your attacker not far from here. We can leave the ambulance for him. You cut him pretty good, Sara."

"I didn't get a good look. Was it Ian Flynn?"

"No, some drug burnout. He's been robbing apartments in this area for weeks."

* * *

Catherine got the call about Sara and automatically started to dial Grissom's number but stopped. She did not want to have two people in the hospital in one night. She decided to drive over, pick him up and take him to Sara. As she turned into his driveway, it was dark but almost instantly Grissom opened the door.

"Sara……Catherine what are you doing here?"

"Gil, I just got a call. There has been a stabbing at Sara's place, she is at Dessert Palms."

"How bad?"

"Not sure. She tried to fight off her attacker." Grissom got into her van and they both drove in silence to the hospital and entered the emergency room.

"Doctor, I am Gil Grissom. One of my people was injured. They brought in Sara Sidle, a stabbing. I'm her supervisor with CSI. How is she? Where is she?"

"She's being stitched up right now. A small cut on her right hand but the blade nicked a wrist vein. She's lost a lot of blood but she still tried to leave AMA. I can't release her until the police and your people talk to her. She's quite a handful, if you'll excuse the pun, turned the knife on her attacker after being cut. He ran off and nearly bled to death, he is in trauma one."

"Gil, go to Sara. I'll get a statement and collect evidence from the suspect. Go on!"

"Doctor, can I see Sara please?"

"Sure, she's in there." He pointed to a treatment room with the door closed. Grissom walked over and was about to knock. The door opened and he nodded to the nurse as she left the room. He was very relieved Sara's injury was just a small cut and put on a smile as he opened the door. She was sitting with her right hand wrapped in gauze. His smile died as he saw her huddled in a corner chair. Her arms were wrapped around herself as she stared vacantly into space and he noticed that she was shaking.

"Sara?" She did not respond to her name or his voice. He gently touched her shoulder but she pulled away. "Sara, it's Gil. Honey, are you OK?"

"I had to. He came at me." She said more to herself, still not acknowledging Grissom.

He left the room and walked back to confront the doctor at the ER desk. "What the hell is wrong with her? She is almost catatonic."

"She is in shock from the attack, it's perfectly normal."

"Doctor, Sara is a CSI. She handles crime scenes everyday."

"Not as the victim." The doctor paused to let that sink in before he continued. "I wanted to give her a sedative and a tetanus shot but she wasn't able to tell me if she has any drug allergies. I am trying to locate her family, so I'm afraid we will both have to wait. Maybe if we give her a little time, she may be able to answer some questions."

"I am her emergency contact. Sara was a patient here about five months ago. Dr. William Morgan was her physician. You should be able to pull up her medical records to check for drug allergies."

As Grissom walked back to her, he remembered when Sara told him about her mother and the day she stabbed her husband to death. He realized tonight's attack must have brought back a lot of very painful memories. As he entered the room, Sara was still lost in the nightmare of the attack, huddled in the corner chair and shaking. Grissom sat in front of her and very slowly began to whisper gently, he caressed her face, then gently kissed her forehead and pulled her to him. "Sara, I'm here. You're safe. It's Gil. You're all right. I won't leave you." He repeated the words over and over very softly.

After several minutes Sara slowly stopped shaking and her eyes focused on Grissom. "You were right, I am so sorry. I didn't see him. I stabbed him, I had to…"

"Sara, I know. You did what you had to do. You're all right, that's all that matters."

"No, you don't understand. He cut me. I didn't mean to hurt him but I had to stop him before he........"

"Yes, I know and you did. You did nothing wrong. He will be fine. I am so proud of you."

"No, don't be proud of me. It's all my fault. I forgot, messed everything up. You loved me."

"Sara, I do love you. Nothing has changed."

"Yes, it has. It was perfect. I was so happy. Now everything is ruined."

"Ruined.....because I asked you to marry me?"

"Yes! No, it's me. I did it. I always screw everything up. I love you, I do. I have for such a long time. If only things could be like they were before."

"Before what? I'm sorry Sara, I don't understand. I love you and I do want to marry you."

The doctor knocked and opened the door. "Good news, Sara. We found your records and you have no drug allergies. This sedative will help you calm down but it may put you to sleep."

"No! No drugs........I can't take any drugs."

"It's very mild! If you don't want it, that's fine but I do recommend it. You need rest."

"I can't! Doctor there is a chance I might be pregnant. Can I get a test now, please?"

"I wish you had said something sooner. I'll get a test kit and be right back."

After he left Sara was unable to look Grissom in the eye. "I didn't mean for you to find out this way.......but I thought you had the right to know."

Grissom was silent for a minute, he needed to process the information. A baby? Could it be true? Now he was even more confused why Sara turned him down. She loved him and their love has created a child. He stood and took Sara's face in his hands. He kissed her until they both had to gasp for air. "Sara, you are the miracle of my life. Since the night you kissed me, I feel like I've been given a new life. Your love has given me everything I've ever dreamed of. Now you have given me the one gift I never thought I would have, a child. I can't believe this is real!"

"You're not mad? You still want me? You want the baby?"

"Is that why you said you wouldn't marry me?"

"I didn't want to burden you with a child. You are always so preoccupied with your age. I didn't want to complicate your life because a mistake, my mistake."

"Sara, look at me, please! I also helped to make our baby. This pregnancy may not have been planned but he or she is not a mistake. I want you and I want our baby. I love you. Please marry me!"

The doctor returned as they both were lost in another kiss. "Excuse me but I need you to wait outside please."

"I don't think so, doctor. If Sara is pregnant, then she is carrying our baby. I think that gives me the right to be here."

"That would be up to my patient."

"Please, I want him to be here. I need him to be with me when I find out."

"As you wish! I'll need a urine sample for the test. The bathroom is over there."

She returned a minute later, the doctor inserted the test stick into the sample. "We'll have an answer in just a minute.......you are definitely pregnant Ms. Sidle. Are congratulations in order?" Laughing, Grissom and Sara hugged and kissed again. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Thank you doctor, you have just given me the best belated birthday gift of my life." Grissom shook the doctor's hand. "Can I take her home now?"

"Sara, I want to give you this sedative before you go. It is very mild and won't hurt your baby in any way. You need to rest, at least for the weekend, a week would be better. You've lost a lot of blood. Then I suggest you make an appointment with your own doctor to set up prenatal care. You are free to go whenever you feel up to it. You can come back here or go to your own doctor in about a week to have the stitches removed. I assume you know how to check for signs of infection?"

Sara nodded. The doctor gave her the shot, checked her hand one last time and left.

"Sara! Thank you seems like such an insignificant phrase. I still can't believe it. We are going to have a baby. Let me take you home, to my home. I mean our home. Please Sara, I never want you to anywhere near your old apartment building again. I can pack up all your things over the weekend." Grissom pulled her into his arms again. "Oh God! Sara, I just realized how close I came to almost loosing you again.........loosing you both."

"I've all ready moved most of my things to your place. I wanted to surprise you when you came back from the lecture tour, Gil.

"I love all your surprises. Let's go home, honey. Damn, I forgot I don't have my car. Let me see if Catherine is still here. She drove me, otherwise we'll have to call a taxi."

The sedative took effect on the ride home with Catherine. Sara nodded off on Grissom's shoulder as he held her on his lap.

"Did you know, Catherine? Was the baby what she couldn't tell me about yesterday?"

Catherine nodded. "I was pretty sure she was pregnant just after you left but I don't think she put it all together in her mind until last night. She was so upset. Sara forgot to get her birth control patches refilled.......it really was an accident, Gil but I think she does want to have the baby. What about you?"

"Catherine, this is Vegas and I just hit the biggest jackpot in my life. A wife and a baby, that is as soon as I can convince Sara to marry me. I am so happy!" He leaned over to kiss Catherine's cheek. "Thank you for you all your help and for the ride home."

Grissom carried Sara from the van into the house and laid her gently on his bed. He took off her jacket and shoes and then his own. He started to get into bed beside her but stopped and quickly walked back to his desk to retrieve the ring box. Grissom slipped the diamond ring on to her left hand, he smiled when it fit perfectly. He gently kissed her as he got into bed. Sara automatically turned in her sleep and wrapped her arm around him.

"Goodnight, Sara, my love and our little surprise package."


	14. Chapter 14

Grissom had been awake nearly an hour as he watched Sara sleep curled against him. Waking up in his bed, she smiled at him still groggy from the sedative. She moved her hands to his chest and saw the bandage on her right hand and the diamond ring on her left hand. "I wasn't dreaming. You're really here? You know everything and you still want me?"

"Not a dream and I want you very much. Good morning my love! How do you feel?"

"Grissom?" She kissed him quickly as if to make sure he was real.

"I may be old fashioned but I think my fiancé can call me by my first name. Let me check your hand, honey."

"In a minute." She got up quickly and ran for the bathroom.

Grissom followed her and entered as she rinsed her mouth. "Morning sickness?"

"Oh God, I hate that part.......at least it's not the flu!" She stripped the wet gauze from her right hand and held it out for inspection.

Grissom checked the wound for infection, added anti-bacterial cream and wrapped Sara's hand again. "Sara, about what I said last night! I was so relived to know that you weren't badly hurt and I was overjoyed to learn about the baby.........I never even thought to ask you if wanted to have this child? Never thought about how this would affect your career. I'm so sorry, if this isn't what you want......"

"I do want to have the baby......our baby but I was just so confused. Until last night I wasn't even sure if I was pregnant. If I was, should I have the baby? Should I tell you at all? Then I had no idea how to tell you or even what to tell you. When that idiot came at me with the knife last night, all I could think about was protecting our baby." She unconsciously rubbed her hand over her abdomen.

"Our baby!" He kissed her several time but stopped abruptly. "Oh, I forgot. Catherine called earlier. She said to try saltines if you are having morning sickness. She also filed an incident report with Ecklie on your assault last night. So as your supervisor, I have placed you on medical leave. Now back to bed, the doctor said you are supposed to rest for the entire weekend."

He walked her back to the bed. "Sara, last night was my fault. You got hurt because of the pressure I put on you. You should have been here with me last night. Thank God, you and the baby are OK."

"Just hold me please, Gil. It's all still a little fuzzy. You called me your fiancé? Since I am wearing your mother's ring, I assume I said yes? I wish I could remember."

"Would you like me to ask you again? Beg on one knee? Both knees, because I will. I'll do anything to convince you to marry me......"

"No, just ask me again, please."

"Sara Sidle, I love you. Will you please marry me?"

"Yes! I love you, Gilbert Grissom. I love you." She launched herself into his arms and they fell onto the bed laughing and kissing.

A short time later the phone rang. Gil interrupted a kiss and glanced at the caller's name.

"Of course, it's Ecklie. The only man who could screw up such a perfect day."

Sara reached over to answer it. "Hello? Oh Good Morning, let me see if he's awake."

Grissom took the phone from her. "Smartass!"

"Good Morning, Conrad!" He hit the speaker button so Sara could hear too.

"What the hell is going on, Grissom? What are you doing back here and was that Sidle that answered?"

"My lectures on Friday and Monday were cancelled. I'll be leaving late Monday afternoon for my next lecture on Tuesday. Don't worry Conrad, I paid for this trip home."

"I think I'm entitled to a better explanation than that. I also would like you to explain that unprofessional display in the lab halls yesterday with Sidle and why is she at your house?"

"Ecklie, I am on leave for two more weeks for the lecture tour that I am doing for the last time. If you bothered to check your reports, Sara was stabbed in an assault last night. As her supervisor I gave her the next two weeks off to recover. As to why she answered the phone, it's on her side of the bed. As to what you want? I........will get back to you." Grissom reluctantly censored his comments, hung up and quickly turned off the phone.

Sara tried very hard not to laugh. "He is going to fire both of us, if he doesn't have a coronary first."

"Let him try. He knows I could get another job before the day was over, besides I have to finish the damned lecture tour. Forget Ecklie! Sara, what are your plans for the weekend?"

"Why, what did you have in mind, overthrowing the Sheriff?" She was still chuckling.

"No pressure now! This is just a thought. You in a white dress, me in a tux at the Little White Wedding Chapel tomorrow, then we can fly together on Monday afternoon to Virginia for a honeymoon.............interrupted by a few lectures."

"Tomorrow?"

"You did say yes! I want to marry you quickly before you realize what you're getting stuck with and come to your senses. Sara please, I don't want to go to Virginia without you. We could get married in Virginia but I thought you'd like to have the whole gang from the lab with us at our wedding."

"Yes!"

"Yes to what?"

"Yes, I want to go to Virginia with you. We don't have to get married at all. I don't need a piece of paper. If you really want to, we can get married now or we can be married later when we get back. I'll marry you at City Hall or at the City Dump. I don't care, I want you Gilbert Grissom!"

"You said yes! You'll marry me? Sara you said you will marry me tomorrow and I am holding you to that." He kissed her. "I have to call Catherine. She knows everybody in Vegas or Sam does. She can put together the wedding today. Sara, I don't want to get married at City Hall. Catherine can help you find a dress..........rings, we've got to get rings and a license. What else?"

"How about another kiss?"

"With pleasure, Mrs. Sara Grissom, that sounds nice."

"Sara Sidle-Grissom, thank you very much."

"Whatever you want my love."

"Whatever I want? She crooked her finger at him and patted his side of the bed."

"Absolutely but first I have to talk to Catherine." He leaned over, kissed her quickly and then walked away already dialing on his cell phone.

Fifteen minutes later he returned and sat on the bed. "All set. The chapel is booked for two tomorrow and Catherine will be by later today to help you find a dress. My tux is all set. We just need to find rings and get a license sometime today. Catherine is planning a small reception at the RIO after the ceremony, if that's OK with you. Just the team and lab staff and Brass of course. And finally, I was able to get another seat for you so we can fly out together on Monday afternoon to Virginia. Oh by the way, Catherine wants you to stay with her tonight, she says it bad luck for me to see you before the wedding."

"You are the most amazing man. I love you."

"Say it again." He got into bed with Sara.

"I love you, Gil Grissom." She started to unbutton his shirt.

"Sara no!" He covered her hands with his. "You have to rest, doctor's orders. We'll have the rest of our lives to be together after tomorrow. You don't want to spend your honeymoon in a hospital bed do you?"

She cuddled against him. "OK, but I am fine. Is it against the rules to kiss me?"

"No that's absolutely mandatory." After several kisses he stopped. "Sara, are you sure about all this?"

"Chickening out? That's breach of promise, I can sue you."

"I just want you to be sure, I feel like I am always pressuring you."

"You have a tendency to over think things, my love. Worrying about the future won't change it. So Mr. Grissom, for now please just shut up and kiss me."

* * *

The next day Grissom waited at the end of the aisle with Warrick beside him as best man but Rick looked less at home in his tux. Most of the lab staff and many police officers filled the seats. Greg was taking pictures as the matron of honor, Catherine walked down the aisle with Nick. They were followed by Sara on the arm of a very happy Jim Brass. Sara was wearing a very simple ivory floor length dress and chapel veil. All her friends were stunned by the transformation of Sara. None more than Grissom, who was mesmerized by his beautiful bride.

The justice of the peace opened the ceremony. "Who gives this man and woman to be married. " In unison the CSI staff responded, "We do!" Grissom reached for Sara's hand as they both smiled.

"We come together today to rejoice in the love and union of Gil and Sara. Love comes from friendship for you both. May your friendship and love never end.......Do you Gilbert Edward Grissom take Sara Elizabeth Sidle as your wife? Do you promise to love, honor and keep her as long as you live?"

"I will!"

"Place the ring on her finger. The ring is your gift to Sara and a reminder of your promise.

Do you Sara Elizabeth Sidle take Gilbert Edward Grissom as your husband? Do you promise to love, honor and keep him as long as you live?"

"I will!"

"Place the ring on his finger. The ring is your gift to Gilbert and a reminder of your promise.

By the power of the State of Nevada and the City of Las Vegas, I declare that you are now husband and wife. Please seal your promises with a kiss. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud and pleased to introduce Mr. & Mrs. Grissom."

Amid loud applause and numerous camera flashes, everyone kissed and hugged everyone.

"Thank you for being here with us today. If you are not on duty, please join us at the Rio." Grissom took Sara's hand and led her to a waiting limo, then helped her in. "You look incredibly beautiful today, Mrs. Grissom." Grissom noticed that Sara was a little pale as she got out of the limo. "Sara, are you OK? Do you want to skip this? If you want, we can just make an appearance and then I'll take you home. The party today was Catherine's idea and the reception is really just for the guests. Our turn begins tomorrow, my love. Two weeks away, just the two of us."

"I'm fine. If I haven't told you today Mr. Grissom, I love you. Let's party!"

The party was soon in high gear; everyone was eating and drinking as more photos were taken until the music began. Grissom got up to lead Sara to the center of the dance floor for the traditional first dance. Before they could return to their seats, the best man tapped on his glass with a knife to get everyone's attention.

"We have a surprise for you guys, a gift from your friends at the Lab and PD with a little help from the staff and management of the Rio. OK, Mike and John come on down!"

A huge wedding cake was rolled out. On the top was a bride and groom in small CSI vests and the cake was covered with gummy bugs and worms.

"Thanks guys, that's really nice of you." Grissom and Sara cut the cake and then he fed a very small piece of plain cake to Sara. She cut a much larger piece complete with a few gummy bugs and worms and fed him for several minutes. He deliberately ate slowly to give her a chance to sit because that was the last time she got to rest for nearly an hour. The bride had to dance with Brass, then the best man, then Greg, Nick, Mike, John, David, Archie even Doc Robinson got a chance. Catherine saw that Sara was getting pale and very tired. She gathered up all the gifts and cards. She cut in to get one last dance with Grissom and whispered to him that his bride needed to go home. She helped them sneak out, so very few noticed they had gone. It didn't slow the party down at all, which continued for a few more hours.

"It was a great party and a wonderful day." Sara snuggled into him in the back of the limo. "I don't usually like weddings, today was fun."

"It was a perfect day, Mrs. Grissom. I don't think I'll ever forget seeing you at the chapel for the first time. I was stunned, you are so beautiful." He kissed her several times, each more deeply, until suddenly the limo door opened.

"You're home, Sir."

"Thanks Kevin, I'll see you tomorrow and thank your boss for use of the ride."

Grissom picked up Sara to carry her over the threshold. Once inside he put her down, as she kissed him, she also reached up to unhook the tuxedo tie and opened the collar of his shirt.

"Oh thank you! Now I can breathe. Best gift I've gotten all day, except for you of course."

"I have something else for you." She lifted the hem of the dress and Grissom saw a white lace garter on a very long shapely leg. Sara rolled it down and off her leg and handed it to him. "Something to help you remember me and today. Help me out of this, Mr. Grissom?"

"Absolutely, Mrs. Grissom. Let the honeymoon begin."

* * *

The next morning Grissom had the luggage by the door as Kevin knocked. "Mrs. Grissom, our ride to the airport is here."

"The limo? Are you crazy, Gil? What's wrong with a taxi?"

"I only plan on getting married once, so one honeymoon. I want to make it perfect. We are going to miss the plane if you stand here arguing much longer, Sara."

"Who is arguing? I'm ready, let's go."

At the airport Grissom led Sara onto the plane, she turned to coach but he grabbed her hand."This way, Mrs. Grissom!"

"First Class? It is so expensive."

"I have a lot of frequent flyer miles to use up."

Arriving at Virginia Beach five hours later, a waiting car whisked them to an elegant ocean front hotel.

"Wow, pretty fancy! The conference is here?"

"No, it's just across the street. I swapped hotels, wanted something a little nicer."

They walked up to the front desk. "Gil Grissom, I have a reservation."

"Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Grissom. Congratulations! The bridal suite is all ready for you."

On the top floor, the lavish suite looked out on to the beach. Sara walked out on to the balcony. "Oh God, it is so beautiful. And to think I actually felt sorry for you being trapped into the lecture tour. Is this is your idea of horrible?"

"It may be too cold too swim but the hotel has a great indoor pool and hot tub."

"Who needs a pool or a hot tub? Have you seen the bathroom? It's the size of my old apartment."

Gil came up beside her and smiled. "Oh good, we can share." He started to unbutton her blouse.

She playfully slapped his hands away. "Food first, then fun and games! Remember I am eating for two, Mr. Grissom. Let's see just how bad room service food is. Will you please stop nibbling on me and look at the menu."


	15. Chapter 15

Early the next morning Grissom shut off the alarm before it could ring, not wanting to wake Sara. He knew that she was still recovering from the attack. Between the loss of blood and the excitement of the wedding, she was exhausted. He planned to leave her sleeping. After a quick shower, he emerged from the bathroom dressed for the lecture in his suit and tie. He stood beside the bed for a few minutes and watched his wife sleep. He wrote a brief note and then checking his watch, he quietly gathered his conference notes and laptop computer. With a last look at Sara, he opened the door and flipped the "Do Not Disturb" sign but tripped over the morning paper the hotel staff left just outside the suite door. "Damn!"

"Gil? Hey wait, I'm going with you to the lecture." Sara mumbled sleepily and then yawned.

"Sara, you know the material better than I do. Stay here and rest, order breakfast in bed."

"But I want to go. It's been such a long time since I've been to one of your lectures."

"No Sara! If you are in the audience, I won't be able to concentrate. Please honey, the doctor said you need to rest. I'll be back early this afternoon. We can do whatever you want for the rest of the day." Grissom sat on the edge of the bed intending to give her just one good bye kiss. Several kisses later, it took a lot of effort to get up and walk away. "I have got to go now, Sara."

Sara waited five minutes after he left and was quickly dressed in a skirt and sweater. She was ten minutes behind Grissom after he arrived at the hotel across the street. Sara located the ballroom and mixed in among the many guests nibbling on the free breakfast provided.

"Good Morning, Ladies and Gentlemen, please take you seats."

Sara slipped into a seat well at the back of the auditorium and hoped he wouldn't see her in the huge room filled with so many people. Many guests took a very long time to finish eating and take a seat. It took several requests to get everyone seated.

"Thank you and now for our keynote speaker, Dr. Gil Grissom from the Las Vegas Crime Lab." He came to the podium to mild applause.

'Thank you and Good Morning! I see some familiar faces and a lot of new ones. This will be an update on DNA evidence procedures and a review of several startling case anomalies we have documented at our lab in Las Vegas."

Sara was amazed at the man on the stage. She had attended several of his seminars before in San Francisco and reviewed the lecture materials with him in Vegas. His presentation was electrifying. He handled all the questions with ease and stepped down from the podium to thunderous applause. Sara was stunned to see that he has been speaking for over three hours. She slipped out the back door of the ballroom before Grissom was half way down the center aisle. He stopped several times to shake hands and spoke to several colleagues. Sara was waiting just outside of the hotel on a bench as he exited the building.

"Hi! How did it go?"

"Sara you came. I saw you leave the ballroom just now."

"OK, I'm sorry but you were amazing. I'd forgotten just how good you are. Great lecture!"

"You were there for the whole thing? Thank God I didn't know that! Otherwise I would have been a babbling idiot."

They started the short walk back to their hotel as another woman exited the hotel and called out. "Dr. Grissom!"

Sara was startled to see her husband actually cringe at the sound of the woman's voice. "Mrs. Davies, good to see you. I didn't know you would be in the audience today."

"I just had to tell you how fascinating your lectures always are. I really wish you would reconsider that offer from the CDC. You need a more suitable place for your genius."

"Thank you, that's very flattering but I am happy where I am."

"Too bad!" She extended her hand to Sara. "I'm sorry, I don't believe we've met."

"Mrs. Davies, this is my wife, Sara. Sara, this is Eloise Davies."

"Mrs. Grissom, how sweet! Gil, I didn't know you were married."

"As I've told you before Eloise, my private life is just that, private."

"Sara dear, please see if you can convince your husband to join us for cocktails tonight at nine o'clock in the ballroom here at the Omni. He never accepts any of my invitations."

Sara could sense her husband's annoyance. "Gil, we really need to go or we will be late, excuse us please."

As they walk away. "Thank you, Sara. I can not stand that woman."

"Who is she?"

"A head hunter for several top government and international medical agencies and a permanent pain in my ass."

She knew he did not want to talk about Mrs. Davies, so Sara changed the subject. "Getting back to what I was saying, you were fantastic in there. I knew the material but I wasn't bored. The lecture was great! I'd forgotten just how great a speaker you are."

"Sara, better than half those people weren't even listening to me, they were texting or playing games. I saw a few nod off and most of the other don't understand or care about DNA."

"Then why do they come? Why do you do this?"

"Same answer for both, money! They get to pad their expense accounts and I try to get more money for the Vegas lab.......also I get to sneak off with my wife and Ecklie has to pay." Giggling, Sara put her arm into Grissom's as they walked back to their hotel.

"OK Sara, I am all yours now. What would you like to do today? There is a great Nautical Museum and the Aquarium or we could do some shopping or just take a walk on the beach. Before we do anything, I've got to get out of this suit."

"Can we rent a sailboat? I saw some out in the water by the pier. We haven't been sailing in years."

"Sweetheart, it's October, this is Virginia. Out on the water it will be freezing. Besides, the water looks pretty rough today. How is your stomach feeling?"

"OK, really! Please?"

"Sailing it is!" When they arrived at their room, he quickly changed into jeans, sneakers and pulled out a thick sweater.

Sara swapped her skirt for a pair of jeans and sneakers but did not have a jacket or a heavy sweater. "Can I borrow your sweatshirt?"

He chuckled at the thin sweater she had on. Grissom put his heavy sweater on Sara and kissed her, then he pulled on his CSI sweatshirt. "Thank God it's not snowing." Grissom grabbed his sunglasses and held out his hand for hers. The sweater was a little big on Sara and her hand was momentarily lost in the sleeve but he eventually found it. "OK, let's go."

Grissom easily maneuvered the large sailboat into the wind and soon they were skimming into the bay. Sara settled on the bottom of the boat near the tiller, she sat between Grissom's legs, using her husband as a backrest. "This is great! Not like sailing on Lake Mead or even San Francisco Bay."

"That's because this isn't a lake or a bay, we are in the Atlantic Ocean. God this takes me back."

"You used to sail a lot? Oh yeah, you went to Harvard. Right?"

"I went to Harvard! Rowing, sailing, swimming, I tried anything if it involved water."

"And here I was thinking you were just a bookworm."

"I was and still am. I grew up on Venice Beach but I never really had friends back then. I was always two or three years younger than most of the other kids in my class. I was the egghead, the squirt; always too young, too small and too smart."

"Well, I think you turned out perfectly."

He kissed her. "Spoken like a loving and loyal wife but I've always sucked at most sports, Sara. I couldn't catch a baseball or a football if it had glue on it. Still can't."

"Ah hah! So that is why you won't play on the CSI softball team?"

He laughed. "You might as well know all my deep dark secrets, Sara. I had just turned 17 when I got to Harvard; most of the guys in my dorm were 18 or 19. They were almost all jocks and at Harvard they take their sports very seriously. Luckily I found sculls......single man and later team rowing. God, I can remember freezing my ass off practicing on the Charles River as soon as the ice broke from winter. I worked on the rowing machine until my arms were ready to fall off. I was smaller than everyone else but I made the team. In fact, Harvard won the Head of the Charles Regatta the three years I was on the team. Of course in order to row, you had to know how to swim. I discovered that being small and skinny is an advantage in swimming. Believe it or not, I was a runt until I turned about 18 and then I had a growth spurt." He smiled, lost in old memories. "The summer after my first year at Harvard, I was too young to get a job at a bar or restaurant like most of the guys. I was fired from my first real job, I worked on a lobster boat." He whispered into Sara ear. "I let all the little ones loose when no one was looking."

"My hero!" Sara hugged him and enjoyed hearing more about the young Gil Grissom.

"I finally got a job I loved at Boston Public Library, I tried to read every book there."

"So that's why you know so much about literature."

"I told you I was a bookworm. The library had shelf after shelf of Literature, History, Philosophy, the Arts and Sciences. They threatened to fire on more than one occasion for getting lost in the stacks and reading for hours at a time. To keep in condition for rowing, I also worked part time at a boathouse. When I was 17, it was just a job. As I got a little older, it was a cheap date, $10.00 for three hours of sailing back then. I knew every inlet up and down the Charles River........nookie nooks they called them back then."

"So that's where you learned how to kiss. You are a great kisser."

He laughed and took that as an invitation to kiss Sara, several times. "Thank you! Back then in the dark ages, kissing was all nice girls would do. So I got very good at the preliminaries. Kisses were about all I ever got back then. No, actually come to think of it, I lost my virginity that first summer in the boathouse. A very sweet and patient girl from Radcliff took pity on a short and skinny Harvard freshman with no clue what to do."

"I'll bet you were something back then. I wish I could have met you at 17."

"Sara, you were still in diapers!" He laughed. "God, I've forgotten how much I love to sail. I can't believe it's been over thirty years since then. I'm not so skinny anymore. I wonder if I could even fit in a singles row boat now?" Grissom had not really been paying attention to the direction of the boat or how far they were out into open waters. A dolphin leaped in front of the boat made him realize that he was near the shipping lanes and needed to head the boat back in. "Coming about! That means duck Sara, unless you want to go swimming. I have to change the sail's direction. I'm sorry I lost track of the time. Let's head for the dock."

"Oh look, another dolphin!" Sara reached a hand over the side but Grissom pulled her hand back.

"That was a shark; they feed on the baby dolphins. Trust me you do not want to mess with them. I have a scar on my left elbow from a discussion I once lost with a shark. God Sara, your hands are ice cold, why didn't you tell me?"

Sara reached her arms to surround him and kissed him deeply.

"What was that for?"

"Just because I love you."

"Say it again please?"

"I love you, Gil Grissom. Now feed me. I'm starving."

"YES MAM! That's good to hear."


	16. Chapter 16

After Gil and Sara docked, the pair climbed up the walkway from the pier to the boardwalk. At the top, Sara suddenly had to clutch the rail for balance. Grissom reached out for her. "Sara!"

"I'm OK! I don't think I have my land legs yet. I feel kind of weird and wobbly like we are still out in the boat. "

"Too long, we were out way too long. Your face is pink and will be sunburned later and you're face and hands are cold." He hailed a passing taxi.

"Gil, I can walk." Ignoring her comment, he opened the taxi door for her.

"The Hyatt, please!" He took her hands into his to warm them. "I want you in a hot tub and then lying down. We'll have room service sent up for dinner again."

"I'm pregnant, Gil, not dying. Besides I saw a deli a block or so from the hotel. I don't know why but I want some potato pancakes. Please?"

"Food cravings, already? OK! Driver do you know the deli near the Hyatt?"

"Sure, no problem."

"Room Service takes too long." Sara leaned against her husband, who had not released her hands. "I don't want to miss the cocktail party at nine.....it would be rude not to go."

"I am not going, Sara and neither are you! I pulled you hand away from one shark today. I do not want to throw you into a room full of them."

Sara didn't understand his words or his sudden anger. As they pulled up at the deli, he paid for the ride and helped her out. They walked into the deli in a strained silence.

An elderly man behind the counter greeted them. "Welcome to Max's Deli! What can I get for you?"

"Potato Pancakes, please and a large milk."

"Want some applesauce with those? It's homemade?

"Sure. Thank you."

"And you sir?"

"Double thick corned beef on rye with spicy mustard and a half sour pickle, please."

"You got it and to drink?"

"Cream Soda, of course."

"Take a seat anywhere, your drinks will be right over."

As soon as they sat Sara leaned over to speak softly. "Gil why are you mad at me? Did I say something wrong?" She stopped as the drinks were delivered.

"God no, Sara! I'm not mad at you. I just don't want to spoil today. You don't know how great it's been to have you with me, to share everything with you. You won't like the backbiting, vicious snobs that go to these cocktail parties. I avoid them all like the plague."

He could see that his brief explanation was not enough and that he had hurt Sara by his arbitrary decision "I should have asked you, I'm sorry Sara. If you really want to go we can. You'll need to wear or buy something a lot fancier, like a cocktail dress. They should have something in the hotel gift shop."

"Why? What's wrong with the skirt and sweater I wore today?"

"This is evening cocktails, very dressy. I'll have to put on a damned suit again."

"I don't want to embarrass you, Gil. If you'd rather not go…."

"Sara, you never could embarrass me. I just don't want to see you hurt. There probably won't be a single person in that room tonight worth the time or energy of going."

Sara wanted to ask him a lot more questions but their food arrived. After dinner they walked the short distance back to their hotel. Sara followed him into a boutique near the hotel after Grissom pointed to a dress in the window. "That's what you should wear if we have to go tonight." Without waiting for Sara's answer, Grissom walked up to a very eager to please store clerk. "I'd like to see that dress in her size, please. She will also need dress shoes or sandals to go with the dress." Grissom hunted through the jewelry case for a necklace to go with the dress, as Sara was shown to the dressing room. A short time later she came out wearing a simple but elegant knee length black silk sheath dress and silver sandals.

"I like the material but isn't the color too dark?" Not getting an answer she tapped his shoulder. "Gil, is this OK?"

"WOW! You look fantastic but it needs one more thing." Grissom put a triple strand pearl choker around her throat. Sara turned again for his inspection.

"Beautiful and very pink!" He kissed her nose. "OK honey, you can change back and I'll pay for these."

After a leisurely soak together in the suite's jacuzzi tub, they changed and crossed the plaza back to the Omni Hotel. As they arrived on the ballroom floor, Grissom took her arm and laced her finger through his as they entered. Sara was very uneasy, she has never seen the look of such grim determination on his face. She suddenly wished they had stayed in their room for the night but before she could say anything the inner door to the suite opened and Eloise Davies was clearly surprised.

"Dr. Grissom! How wonderful. I am so happy you could make it and......Samantha?"

"Sara." They both corrected her in unison.

"Of course, I am so sorry. You look lovely my dear but isn't it a little too cold to be out sunbathing?" She took Sara's arm from a very reluctant Grissom.

"We went sailing, Eloise."

"At this time of the year? My dear! Let me introduce you around." Sara was whisked away before Grissom could object. He followed her progress around the room with his eyes until a man slapped him a little too hard on the back as a greeting.

"Grissom, it's been a while buddy! How are you doing in the market?"

"Hello, Trent. I've told you before I don't speculate on stocks, never did. I occasionally invest in things I know something about, Medical, Biotech and Healthcare."

"Got any advice for an old friend?"

"Yes, you've had too much to drink! Excuse me please." Grissom had been scanning the room looking for Sara but spotted an unexpected face.

"Jeremy?"

"Gil, what on earth are doing here?" The two men shook hands. "Still it's good to see a friendly face in this snake pit. I got your email on the virus updates. Very interesting!"

"I heard about research being done by a young African doctor with a radical approach. I've done what I can to help but with the proper funding, a breakthrough maybe."

"Send me more info and I'll look into it."

"Thanks Jeremy, I was hoping you'd help."

"Now that I've made my obligatory appearance, I'll say goodnight."

"I don't blame you. As soon as I can find my wife, we are out of here."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sara leave the room. She walked quickly to the ladies room and locked herself in a stall. Sara poured the drink she'd been given into the toilet and hoped her dinner would not soon follow it. Less than a minute later Sara heard several female voices as they entered the ladies room together.

"Did you see Dr. Grissom arrive with that child on his arm?"

"A trophy wife for sure! The dress is acceptable but did you see that necklace?

"That must have cost a pretty penny. Is he as rich as they say?

"I heard she is a decoy. A bought and paid for front so he can keep his boy toys secret, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, I hope he is not gay. All the really nice looking men are these days. It's so tiresome."

From just outside the ladies room Grissom called out to Sara. "Honey, are you in there? Sara, are you OK?"

Bracing for the walk, Sara opened the stall door to several startled faces. "I'm sorry, darling. Just a little sick to my stomach. When you're pregnant you just have to put up with it. I think I need some fresh air." They immediately left the party and the hotel.

"Oh, Gil! I am so sorry."

"Please Sara, the next time I ask you to trust me, please trust me. I did not want to take you there."

"What horrible people. The things they said were beyond vicious about all the people and about you!"

"Don't bother repeating them, I've heard them all before. They didn't say anything about you, did they?" Lying, she shook her head no. "Forget them, Sara. Please don't let them ruin our time together. Just two more lectures here and then it's on to the FBI Academy. You'll love it! It's the only stop on the whole damned tour worth my time and energy."

* * *

They arrived at the FBI Training Academy later in the week, Grissom walked through the maze of building and training fields without asking for directions. Sara was amazed at the number of women she saw both as students and faculty. Several of the senior commanders on the parade grounds snapped off salutes to Grissom as they passed. He playfully returned them. It was a very long walk until they arrived at the main building and the director's office. Grissom knocked loudly on the director's door.

"Is that a fat, middle aged, fur faced son of a bitch that came to pollute all my young minds?"

"No you mindless tin soldier with delusions of a power. It's your guest speaker with a surprise. Watch your language, there is a lady present."

A huge bear of a man came out of the inner office. "Welcome back, Dr. Grissom. Excuse me, M'am! You could have warned me, idiot."

"Major Dan Griffin, my former Harvard roommate, this is my new roommate, Sara."

"Well you old bastard……"

"I beg your pardon! I know who my father was." Grissom answered with a half grin, as the two men pounded and slapped each other in a fierce hug.

The man in the uniform extended a huge paw in greeting. "Nice to meet you, Sara! Are you his prize pupil?"

"I was several years ago. Now I'm just his wife."

"Wife! When the hell did that happen? And why wasn't I invited?"

"Because I can't afford to fumigate all of Vegas." The two men laughed and hugged again.

"Do I get to kiss the bride?"

"Maybe and only if you behave. I won't be staying on campus this time but Sara wanted a look around. Is that OK?"

"Sure, what ever the pretty lady wants but I'm sure we can find a cozy bunk bed for two."

"I don't think so, Dan."

"You gonna have some time to spare for a lonely old soldier, mister married man."

"Lonely, my ass! How many ex-wives do you have now? Is it 3 or 4?"

"Four, but who is counting."

"Got any good ones for me in this year's batch, Dan? Thanks for sending Mike Dunlop my way. Where are we setting up this time? The Science Lab Lecture Hall again?"

Ignoring the questions, he walked past Grissom, Dan Griffin put his arm around Sara shoulder. "Allow me to escort the pretty lady."

Grissom watched them walk away, shook his head but smiled as he walked off in the direction of the Lecture Hall.

"I'll leave the egghead to the students. Come with me, pretty Sara."

"How long have you known Gil?"

"About thirty years give or take. We don't get to see each other much now but he's always been there for me. I'm glad he finally found someone that will make him happy, so thank you." Dan gently kissed Sara on the cheek. "What do you want to see? Why did you come all the way down here, or is it to keep an eye on your hubby among all those pretty cadets."

"No, we are on our honeymoon."

"Honeymoon! That cheap son of bitch brings you here? Christ on a crutch, the man has more money than God. Make him take you to Paris, London or Rome."

"Dan, I wanted to come here! I'm also a CSI. As a matter of fact, I work for Gil. I have been dying to see you labs and library."

"Well then OK! Donnelly, get your scanky butt in gear."

A young cadet instantaneously appeared. "Sir, Yes Sir!"

"This is Dr. Grissom's wife. She is VIP, very VIP. Anything she wants to see or do it's done. You got that?"

"Sir, Yes Sir!"

"Well then, I'll leave you with this slime ball. Me, I'm going back to hear the egghead's lecture. Damn good at what he does, even if he is a four-eyed, bug loving geek."

Trying not to laugh, Sara shook hands with him. "Thank you Dan, enjoy the lecture."

She waited until he left and turned on the young cadet who looked like he was barely fifteen. "Hi, I'm Sara. What's your first name, Mr. Donnelly?"

"M'am, Eric, M'am!"

"At ease Eric, can you show me the forensics lab please?"

"Yes M'am! This way please, M'am."

Sara laughed as she walked with him across the compound. "You don't have to call me M'am and certainly not twice in one sentence. My name is Sara."

"Yes M'am"

Eric, if you call me Mam one more time......I'll put you on report."

"Sorry M…Sara. Are you really Dr. Grissom's wife?"

"Yes, why?" The cadet hesitated before answering. "Why, Eric?"

"He is sort of a legend around here. "

"Gil! Really? Why?"

"He is the only man to ever graduate with a perfect 4.0 grade point and then he was supposed to have turned down offers from the FBI, Secret Service, and the CIA."

"I think you've got the wrong man. Gil went to Harvard."

"Yes M'am…sorry. Sara, that was for his undergraduate degree. Can I show you something? It will only take a minute or two."

"Of course!"

"It's in this building and on the way to the lab."

In the main building were rows and rows of class pictures. Under the plague for 1976 was a picture of a very young, very blond and very skinny Gil Grissom. Sara moved to the picture for 1977. The face was unmistakable but so different from the face of the man she loved now. Sara moved to 1978. The hair was a little darker but the face still looked like the face of a boy not a man. She moved to the 1979 class picture but he was not in it. There were several separate photos of individual students who left before the formal class graduation picture. She saw one of Grissom receiving his degree early, magna cum laude. Sara saw in that picture, in his face and eyes the first trace of the solitary man he would later become.

"The official reason he left early was a family emergency but rumors were that he went to work for National Security. They say he was later offered the job of director here, but turned them down."

Sara could see the young man was hoping for some information, but she has none to give him. Sara continued to look at the class pictures and stopped at a photo of the class of 2003 and pointed to the shot of Mike Dunlop. "He works with us at CSI in Las Vegas now. Do you know Mike?"

"No, he left the year I came here. Follow me this way to the lab."

"Thank you, Eric."

Sara was tired having walked all over the campus after her tour of the lab. Sara had gone to MIT but wished she had the chance to train in the FBI lab. Waiting in the director's office, she asked to see Gil's student records. Two words repeated over and over genius and loner. Sara placed the file back on the director's desk and mulled over the information as she waited for the question and answer session after the lecture to be over. As she waited for her husband, she slipped into a nap. Sara was startled awake when Grissom leaned over to kiss her.

"What happened to your face? Sara blinked several times but more than half of his beard was gone.

"Ask the director. He is supposed to be running this place like a responsible adult and then he pulls a prank on me from thirty years ago and right out of college hazing week. This is one of the many reasons why I never pledged at a fraternity."

Dan Griffin entered the room laughing. "It was a joke! Can't you take a joke anymore?"

"Just show me to your bathroom, asshole."

"Don't be such a wimp, it's a just a beard. It will grow back. Besides, I bet Sara likes you better without a beard?"

Sara got up to stretch. "I don't remember, it's been so long."

"Are you OK, Sara?" Smiling she nodded and followed Grissom into the bathroom. "You are going to watch me shave?"

"Queen Victoria used to watch Prince Albert shave every morning. She said it was one of her greatest pleasures."

"Whatever, enjoy!" It took only a few minutes since half the beard was already mostly gone. Sara was amazed that with the beard gone, he looked several years younger. "Well was that good for you?" Grissom gauged Sara reaction to his naked face as he finished drying off. Sara ran her hands lightly over the smooth skin and then kissed him experimentally and then very passionately. "Wow! I guess it was." Sara kicked the door shut and her kisses escalated quickly. "If I had known that shaving got you this excited, I would have lost the beard months ago."

"You talk too much. Shut up and kiss me."

"M'am. yes, M'am!"

Dan opened the door and watched them kiss for a minute smiling. Then he coughed loudly. "OOPS, sorry folks! When you are done in there we are serving evening mess, if you want to eat here that is?" When neither Grissom nor Sara responded, they both reached over to shut the bathroom door. "Well, maybe not." He returned to his desk and found Grissom's student file placed on it. "Donnelly! Who requested this information file and why?"

"Sir, Mrs. Grissom, Sir! You said anything she wanted to see. Is there a problem, Sir?"

"No. Very well, return the file. Dismissed!"

He looked over to see the bathroom door still closed. "You never told her did you, Gil?" Several minutes later, a very flushed pair emerged from the bathroom. "About time you came up for air. Honeymooners! You want dinner here or you going back to your fancy hotel?"

"Sara, how are you feeling? The food here is pretty plain, you up for it?"

"Sure, I had a nap. We can stay so you can spend some time with Dan after dinner, while I attack the library."

Later as Gil and Dan Griffin caught up, Grissom also contacted his tour manager Sylvia to make some minor adjustments to the lectures scheduled the next week in Wilmington and Atlanta. He wanted to take Sara away, to be alone with her for at least a day or two before they returned home. He also arranged for a special surprise for her once the lectures were done.

"One last stop, Mrs. Grissom and then it is back to reality."

"Where are we going? I didn't see anymore lectures on the schedule."

"This is more of a meeting in Orlando, Florida. Look at it this way, Sara. You'll get to be warm and sit in the sun for a day or two." Grissom smiled but would say nothing more.


	17. Chapter 17

At the Orlando airport, a car from Sea World met them. "Dr. Wilder? It's great to finally meet you. I'm Gil Grissom, this is my wife, Sara."

"Hi Gil, Hi Sara! Shadow and Madison are waiting for you." After a short drive, they were escorted to the private dolphin enclosure and given wet suits.

"I saved the best for last, Sara. You never did get the chance to touch a dolphin." He kissed her and led the way. The dolphins were already waiting.

"Gil and Sara, meet Shadow." The larger male dolphin danced on his tail and stopped in front of Gil. "And Madison." The smaller female swum up to Sara and nuzzled her.

Sara smiled as she gently ran her hand over the taut, cool, grey skin. One of the park trainers showed her how to rub and tickle Madison and told Sara all about dolphins.

Gil remembered many of the training commands for the learned behaviors. He played with Shadow and went for a ride around the lagoon. Sara overheard some of the exchanges between Grissom and Dr. Wilder as they talked about Woods Hole and the Bahamas Retreat. Sara enjoyed feeding Madison but the smell of the fish was a bit much for her queasy tummy. After an amazing hour, reluctantly they both walked back to the lockers to change.

Grissom and Sara had packed no light clothes, so he purchased some in one of the many gift shops. They decided to take the whole day to explore the park and just be together. Later over dinner, Sara suggested that they use the next day to explore all the new roller coasters at the various theme parks in and around Orlando. At first Grissom objected, he wanted to do things Sara would enjoy and she was not a fan of thrill rides. Sara wanted to explore the newly remodeled Epcot Center and do some shopping for the gang back at the lab. So they compromised, she did some shopping in all the parks as her husband tried every new ride. Sara was very grateful each ride had big warning signs and announcements that pregnant women should not go on the rides. She had fun shopping, avoided the long wait lines and enjoyed watching her husband act like a kid in candy store. Grissom let Sara choose where they would have dinner in Epcot, he was not surprised when she decided on Italy. They enjoy an incredible dinner followed by a spectacular fireworks display as the park closed. Arriving at their hotel room Grissom and Sara created their own personal fireworks as their time away from Vegas came to memorable close.

Both Sara and Gil's skin was very pink by the next morning when they had to pack and leave for the airport. They slept curled around each other on the long flight home. As they arrived back in Vegas, Catherine was waiting to meet them. However, she looked right past the young sunburned couple dressed in beach clothes and dark glasses. The sun had bleached Grissom hair, with his beard gone and his skin very pink she did not recognize him or Sara.

"Catherine, hello, it's me! Come on, you've seen me without a beard before."

"Gil? You look great! You both do. Welcome home!" She hugged them both which surprised both Sara and Grissom. "My van is on level zero. I'll drive you to your place."

"I'll grab the luggage and meet you."

As he left Catherine and Sara walked to the short term parking. "So! How are you, Sara? How do you feel? Morning sickness can be hell."

"It's getting a little better. The saltines saved my life, thanks Cath. So how are things at the lab?"

"Busy! Ecklie has been on a rampage as usual but who cares. So, how's married life? You look very happy."

"I am. I can't thank you enough for all your help." Sara shyly hugged Catherine.

"You're welcome! Marriage agrees with you both. Gil looks fantastic. How in the world did you get him to shave that damned beard off?"

Sara blushed which turned her face a deeper pink. "I don't think you'll be seeing the beard again any time soon."

Never shy, Catherine stopped Sara as they arrived at the car. "So I am dying to know. How is Gil in bed?"

Sara blushed even more. "Let's just say.....he's so good at his job because he studies the evidence, notices and remembers everything and has great follow through."

Catherine started to laugh at the shy comments and at how pink her face had become. Sara started to giggle and both were still laughing as Grissom arrived.

"Thanks for the ride, Cath. What's so funny, Sara?" She helped him with the bags and gave him a quick kiss. "Nothing important! Just girl talk."

"Hey Gil, how did you both get a sunburn in Virginia or Georgia or where ever the hell you've been for the last two weeks." Catherine did not want to talk about the office, she had her own surprise for Grissom once he got there.

"We played hooky for the last few days and went to Orlando on the way home. It was gorgeous there, nearly 80 degrees and sunny."

"Oh God, that sounds good! It's been pretty cool here for the last ten days or so, barely into the 70's each day."

As they arrived at the house, Grissom unloaded the luggage as Sara opened the front door. "Tell Ecklie we will both be in later today. See you later, Catherine."

As the door shut, Grissom turned to Sara. They kissed and clung desperately. Clothes were stripped and he backed her up until they both fell together onto the bed. They were lost in each other for a very long time until sleep claimed them both. Later that afternoon, they finally got out of bed, into the shower and searched to find something to eat in the kitchen.

"Did you unpack the gifts for the guys at the lab?" Sara nodded. "Why don't you take them in. I have to drop off all my suits at the cleaners. God Sara, we really need to do some food shopping after shift tonight. The cupboards are pretty bare."

"OK, what's wrong Gil? I know that tone. You only ramble when you need to tell me something I won't like or you need to ask a favor I'll really hate."

"You know me too well already. I was just wondering if you've ever though about going back to school finish your masters and then get your PHD?"

"I can't afford to."

"You can now."

"No, I can't! I pay my own way, Gilbert." Sara shuddered as she remembered the women and their catty comments from the cocktail party. "Please, that's one thing I want you to understand. I work and I get a paid. If I screw up, you treat me like anyone else. I'm your wife but you are still my boss at the lab. I want to pay my fair share around here. When we are here, we are equal......partners. OK?"

"I don't understand why but if it's that important to you, OK. You don't have to pay rent anymore, Sara. This house is paid for, so you can use the money you used to waste on rent for tuition. Sara please, I really don't want you to work in the field anymore because of the baby. You know the city's policy. You won't be able to work in the field after your fifth month anyway. Besides you have to finish moving in here and we need to make some changes. We'll need more room for a nursery and we should enlarge the kitchen and bathroom."

"Gil, you know Ecklie could fire me today. If he doesn't, I do want to work at least for now.....later on I know I can't work in the field. Then maybe I can work part time in the lab or go to school part time. I know you are worried about me but don't over protect me."

"I'm sorry, I can't stop thinking about all the things that can wrong for you and the baby."

"Catherine did it, so can I! Try to relax. We still have just over six months to go……Whether I get fired today or not, I have to break my lease and clean out my old apartment. When I tell the manager he's lost another tenant, I just hope I get my security deposit and last month's rent back."

"Let me come with you. I really don't want you anywhere near that place."

"No you need to go to the office. You know it takes you a full day at least just to find your desk. It is usually covered with reports and mail, plus Ecklie is expecting you soon."

Gil made a face at that. "Sara remember, no heavy lifting and I would prefer if you took one of the guys with you if you have to go back there. I can help you with anything you need moved after shift. Call me please?" With a nod she kissed him. "Well, I guess we can't put this off any longer. Mrs. Grissom, the honeymoon is over."

"I hope not. Gil, I want to thank you for two amazing weeks, the sailing, the dolphins.....everything." Kissing him very softly, "I love you."

Grissom took the hand with her wedding ring on it and kissed it. "Beckett said it better than I ever could. If you do not love me, I shall not be loved. If I do not love you, I shall not love."

* * *

A short time later Grissom walked into the lab. His skin was still somewhat pink but it was quickly fading into a light tan. With the sun-bleached hair, no beard and sunglasses, he was able to walk past several lab techs unrecognized until he saw a familiar face.

"Grissom?"

"Hey, Warrick!"

"Welcome back, looking good!"

"It's amazing what six weeks away from Conrad Ecklie will do for you."

"Tell me about it. Is Sara with you? Did you have a good time away?"

"It was fantastic. Sara has a bag with some gifts we found for all you guys. She'll be in a little later. She had to break the lease on her old apartment and pack some things."

"If she needs a hand let me know. It's great to have you both back." Knowing where Grissom was heading, he shook his hand. "Good luck, man."

In the break room they split up and walked in opposite directions. Grissom walked to Ecklie's office. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door without knocking.

"Conrad, before you say anything. I want to apologize for my rude and disrespectful behavior before I left two weeks ago. It was a major case of pre-wedding jitters."

Conrad opened his mouth to respond but at the word wedding he shut his mouth and just looked very confused.

"I assure you it won't happen again......probably. Now this is all the paperwork you need to update our personnel files. Our marriage certificate, Sara's updated information, new address form, tax forms, pension forms and also mine. Sara will also be changing jobs, working part time and going back to school very soon. Just wanted to give you a heads up. Well it's time to get back to work. It's good to be home. Thanks for your time."

Grisom left and shut the door behind him. Ecklie watched the door close without a word. All his long standing plans to fire Grissom and Sara Sidle had vanished in a puff of smoke. He was notified by the Sheriff's Office that the lecture tour was huge success due solely to Grissom's efforts. All the CSI projected budget overages for the year had been approved. Also Conrad had not recovered from his earlier encounter with most of the lab staff. They called him into the conference room to say they would quit if Grissom or Sara were fired. Several CSI agents quickly joined in. Ecklie was angry but also realistic. He could probably replace several lab techs quickly but not over fifty technicians and CSI agents from various shifts. So he was stuck with Grissom and Sidle and now they were married? When and how the hell did that happen? Ecklie held the paperwork Grissom had just given him in his hands, otherwise he would have sworn that the whole damn morning had been just a very bad dream.

Grissom smiled as he left Ecklie's office and walked back to his own, until he saw his desk.

"Hi Cath........whoa, case review? My desk is under there somewhere, right?"

"I got stuck to last time, no the last two times, Grissom. It's your turn, this should only take you three or four days. Have fun! Oh yeah, welcome home." She quickly left the room.

Grissom frowned at the overflowing piles, he had to restack the piles of files to create a small workspace on his desk. He sat down, rolled up his sleeves, took out his glasses and muttered. "Some welcome home!"


	18. Chapter 18

Sara arrived at her old apartment complex and stared at the bushes just outside her door. Time, rain or maintenance had washed away all the blood from her attack. She shivered and walked quickly past the spot to the building managers office. She was immediately escorted into his office and asked about how she was feeling. Sara wondered why he was suddenly being so nice until she realized, she could sue him because of her attack and the lack of security in the complex.

"I just got back in town. I had to get away. I'm sorry I just can't live here anymore. I don't feel safe."

"I understand. I'm canceling your lease as we speak and a check is being prepared for your security deposit and last month's rent."

"Thank you, I've already moved most of my things out. There are just a few larger items that I'll need to have moved." She started to hand him back her apartment keys.

"Keep your keys. Just let us know when you're done and we will change the locks." He handed her a check. "I am so glad that you are OK."

Sara returned to her apartment and realized again just how little in the apartment was hers. She packed up the remaining clothes in a rolling suitcase, put a few books and some personal things in a box. All that was left was her computer, police scanner and TV. Checking her watch she realized it was nearly time to go back to work. She took the suitcase and the box out to her car and drove to the lab. Greg was the first one Sara saw when she entered the building.

"Hey it's the bride person! A pink bride person. Welcome back, Mrs. Grissom. That sounds so weird." He handed her an envelope.

"Hi Greg! What's all this?"

"Wait until you see the pictures, they came out great. I put some of them up." He pointed to the bulletin board just inside the locker room door. The board was covered with 20 or 30 shots of the wedding ceremony and reception. "Those are some dupes for you and Grissom. Sorry to say, Ecklie wants to see you STAT."

Kissing him on the cheek, it was Greg's turn to be pink. "I know, Gil told me. Thank you, Greg."

She walked down the hall, then took a deep breath and knocked on Ecklie's door. "Ecklie? Gil said you wanted to see me?"

"Mrs. Grissom, good to see you. Please come in. I hope your hand is all better. I read the report on your attack, nasty business."

"I'm fine, thanks."

"Oh and by the way, congratulations. Your husband dropped off all the paperwork I need to update your HR files. He also mentioned something about you going back to school?

"I am thinking about going back to UNLV to finish my masters after the first of the year." Sara had asked her husband to say nothing about the baby as yet.

"Well that's outstanding! I'll have the rest of the necessary forms you'll need by the end of the week. May I offer my best wishes to you both."

"Thank you." Sara shook his hand and left, she was so confused she nearly walked into Nick.

"Hey, Sara! Welcome back." They hugged. "You look fantastic in pink! Had a good time?"

"Wonderful, thanks. It's great to be back."

"Yeah, right!" Nick chuckled and continued walking. "See you later."

She walked to Grissom's office and stuck her head in. "Gil?"

"Sara! Oh thank God, I need a break."

"Case review, huh? Catherine finally got you back." They walked past the bulletin board covered in the wedding photos. "Greg gave me copies. Damn, I left the gifts in my car."

"You made a very beautiful bride, Mrs. Grissom." Sara blushed and smiled.

"What's gotten into Ecklie? He was actually nice to me just now."

Grissom poured some coffee. "Apparently most of the lab staff and several CSI agents threatened to quit if he fired either of us."

"Really?"

"Yup!" Grissom had been surprised but very moved when he heard about their action. "In fact they created a petition to review the lab's "relationship policies". The petition was given to the Sheriff, so Ecklie's hands are tied. Are you all packed?"

"Such as it is! I had already moved a lot of my things over before we left. There is not much left in the apartment that was mine, except for some books and appliances. It was a furnished apartment and my stuff is all packed up." Sara handed him her extra key.

"Warrick and I will be by after his shift to get the heavy stuff."

"TV and the computer are the heaviest. Hey, I just thought you don't have a TV. Well, at least that is something I can give to you.........and this." Sara handed him a card with a kiss.

Grissom put down his coffee and opened the card which read simply, "To My Husband". Inside the card was a membership for the UNLV boathouse and yachtclub.

"So you can go out on the water when ever you want, to row, sail or just get away from the job now and then."

Grissom rarely got gifts and was speechless for a few minutes. "Sara, thank you so much! I'm touched that you remembered. It's a wonderful gift. How did you pay for this?"

"The check I got for the refund on my old apartment. I'm glad you like it."

Grissom took her into his arms and kissed her deeply as Catherine walked into the room.

"Just can't keep your hands off her, can you Gil? Please a little decorum in the office!

Grissom jumped back from Sara as if she was suddenly too hot to hold. Both women laughed at Grissom's shocked expression. "Hi, Cath!"

"Thank you so much for a fun first day back, Catherine."

"You're welcome, Grissom! You know what they say about payback, don't you?" Catherine filled her coffee cup. Winked at him and she left smiling.

"Well it's time I got back to work. What do you have for me today?"

"Nick is passing out assignments. I'll be working in my office for the next few days."

Sara kissed his cheek and tried to look sympathetic but chuckled as she left, after she rubbed her lip gloss from her husband's lips and cheek.

Grissom stopped to read her card again. Smiling he placed it on top of his coffee cup and after heaving a heavy sigh, he returned to his office and endless stacks of case files.

* * *

Several hours later, Warrick stuck his head into Grissom's office. "Hey Griss, I was heading out. You still need my help to move Sara's stuff?"

"What time is it? Oh hell yes, I've had enough of this crap for one day."

"What's that? Warrick pointed to Sara's card prominently displayed on the desk.

"A gift from my wife! A membership to the boat house at UNLV for rowing and sailing."

"Your row?"

"A long time ago, I did. I was on the row team at Harvard for three years."

"Get out! I've always wanted to try it. They say it's a great work out."

"Members can bring a guest. Come with me sometime."

"Thanks, I will. Let's go, I'll follow you."

Grissom and Warrick carried out the TV, her computer and some heavier boxes of books.

"This is everything? It all fits in your SUV."

"Sara took some things over before we left and some more things earlier today."

"I'll meet you at your place, help you unload."

"No thanks, Warrick. I'll be leaving most of this in my garage. We are looking for a contractor to remodel. I need to make some changes, more space for Sara.....and a nursery."

"Nursery! You and Sara? Hey, congrats man!"

"Sara doesn't want to say anything yet, so you don't know. OK?"

"Sure! I am happy for you both. Good night, Grissom!"

Arriving home, Grissom entered the garage and pulled out the computer monitor and kicked lightly on the back door to the kitchen. Sara opened the door and tried to take it from him.

"Just tell me where you want it."

"On the coffee table, for now."

"This thing is ancient and heavy. You need to get a notebook. They are so much easier and lighter, especially if you're going back to school. Let me get the rest of it."

"Tough day, dear?" He returned with the hard drive and keyboard for her computer.

"I am stiff and sore all over. Eight hours of case reviews and the piles aren't close to half done."

"Go lay down and take off your shirt." Stripping as he walked, Grissom flopped onto the bed as Sara straddled him and started to give him a message. "Gil, you are one huge knot."

"Oh God, that feels so good, Sara! Your hidden talents amaze me, glad I married you."

Long before she was finished, he was sound asleep. Kissing the back of his head, Sara laid down beside him. "I love you, my old man."

The next day the smell of cooking woke Sara. "Gil, it's 8AM! What in the world are you doing?"

"I was hungry and I didn't get any dinner last night."

"I'm sorry! I thought you and Warrick would grab something after work. I guess I need some practice at being a wife."

"Thanks for the message last night, Sara. Sorry I conked out like that. Want some pancakes?"

Looking a little green, Sara started to leave. "I don't think so."

"Oh honey, I'm sorry! I forgot about the smell. I didn't think about your morning sickness. I'll be out here in ten minutes. I want to try to finish the case review today or at least cut the pile down a lot."

"I did do some laundry and I need to unpack some things, can I steal a draw?"

"Anything you need is yours. We are going to have to remodel a little. So let me know what you'd like or what needs to be changed." Sara rushed from the room to be sick.

She was in the shower when Grissom opened the curtain. "Feeling better?" She nodded. "I have to go, Sara. I cleaned up and aired out the kitchen. I'll get breakfast out until the case review is done and we get back to our normal schedule. See you later? I love you, Sara." He kissed her quickly, dried off his face and was gone.

Looking up at his office clock, he was shocked to see it is nearly 3PM. Grissom had been working for six hours already but at least the pile to be reviewed was now about half gone.

Warrick poked his head in. "Hey Gris! Are you taking a lunch break or want some take out?"

"You are a life saver, Rick." Flexing his neck and shoulders, he slowly got up.

"Stiff neck?"

"Among other things." He stood and stretched out his back. "I wish Sara was here, she is a great masseuse. Hey, let's go to UNLV. They have a café at the boathouse. I'll buy lunch, a thank you for your help last night. I can show you the rowing machines, if you want a great work out, you can try one."

It was a nice day, so they took Warrick's jeep and drove to the member's parking lot. Entering the rowing club, a young man came up to them. "Yes sir, how can I help you?"

Grissom showed the attendant the membership card from Sara. "I'm trying to talk my friend into joining too."

"New member! Yah, now I remember the girl that bought this yesterday, a real cute brunette. I mean you have a very pretty daughter, sir."

Warrick started to step forward to discuss his rude comments but Grissom stopped him. "That was my wife. Which way to the rowing machines please?"

"Back there, Sir. Do you need help setting up?"

"No thanks! I rowed on three championship teams at Harvard in my younger days but I think I can still remember how to set up." They walked past the very confused young attendant.

"How can you put up with that crap?"

"When you are over 50 and marry someone barely 30 years old you have to expect it. You know Sara and I. If you didn't, you'd probably be making dirty old man jokes too."

"I don't know about that but you were pretty cool about the whole thing."

"No choice. This is a rowing machine. You sit and brace you feet here. When you pull back on the fly wheel, the seat will slide. Try to use you arms, shoulders, and back muscles. Try not to use your leg and stomach muscles. Breathe in forward and exhale as you push back."

Grissom stripped off his shirt and settled onto a machine facing Warrick. Soon only the sound of the flywheel and grunts of exertion were heard. After 10 minutes Grissom stopped, and almost immediately Warrick stopped too.

"Man, I am done! I thought I was in good shape. Come on, I'm starving." Warrick flexed his shoulders and wiped down with a towel and threw one to Grissom who was breathing hard.

"God, I am so out of shape! Let's grab a sandwich, then I have to get back to the case review."

Grissom returned to the office and attacked his sandwich and the pile of cases to be reviewed with renewed enthusiasm. He put several folders aside to follow up with the CSI of record for missing information or inaccurate data. He was not surprised that most of the errors were from the day shift, mostly Ecklie's people.

Much later, as the last folder was signed off Grissom removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He had a headache and was sore all over. Looking at the clock, it was nearly midnight. Before leaving, he had hoped to at least review the mountain of letters, other correspondence and interoffice memos that covered his desk now that all the case folders were gone. Too tired to tackle them, he flipped quickly through the piles of information. He sorted it into piles by order of urgency and importance, until he came to a hand printed envelope that had no return address. With a sigh, Grissom reached for a latex glove from the supply in his draw. He carefully picked up the letter and placed it in an evidence bag. Snapping off the glove, he returned to the sorting of his mail. He was nearly done when he came across a second envelope. The second one was also hand printed. It had no return address but this one was printed in blood red crayon. He gloved up and bagged the second letter, then hid them both in his desk draw.

Tomorrow he would run the letters through the lab and deliver them to Brass as usual, but not now. He was too tired to think about the letters or lecture he was sure to get from Jim Brass. Grissom had hoped that he might go back to his regular shift schedule the next day but the big piles on his desk convinced him he needed at least one more day to catch up. For now he just wanted to go home, home to Sara. Grissom smiled, quickly finished up and walked slowly to his van. He was upset that he had forgotten to call Sara. He hoped she wouldn't be too mad at him.

Sara was waiting in the garage as he arrived. "Hi, wow you're very late! I called your office to make sure you were OK but got your voice mail saying you're out of the office for six weeks. Don't forget to change it tomorrow. Oh sweetheart, you look horrible."

"I'm sorry it's so late. You didn't need to wait up, Sara. I am very happy to say the case review is done but I am exhausted, stiff, sore and I have a headache."

"Take a hot shower, some aspirins, eat something and I'll give you another rub down."

"Not hungry and I'm so tired I don't think I can move." He was still sitting in his SUV.

"Come on, you can do it!" She playfully tugged on his arm to get him started. Grissom stripped as he walked to the bathroom. Sara heard the shower turn on and settled on the couch. She had been looking over course information for UNLV. After ten minutes the shower was still going. "Gil?" Sara went into the bathroom concerned he hasn't answered her. Suddenly his arm shot out from the shower, grabbed her and pulled her in.

"Hey! I'm getting wet." He kissed her, pulled her fully under the spray with him and began to remove her clothes. "I thought you were so tired."

"Not anymore!"

She finished pulling off her wet clothes and threw them into the sink. "OK, you can scrub my back for a change."

"With pleasure!" He kissed her in various spots as he rubbed the washcloth over her.

"Less kissing, more elbow grease please."

"Killjoy!"

Sara turned the tables on him and began to wash and shampoo Grissom. It was a new and delightful experience for him. As the hot water ran out, reluctantly they had to rinse off.

"You still want a rub down?" Sara reached out for towels for them both.

"Please, I'm a little sore. Oh, I used your gift today, honey. I went down to the boathouse today with Warrick." After drying off, he discarded the towel and laid down on the bed. Sara also discarded her towel and straddled his legs. She slowly messaged his shoulders and arms, reaching his lower back he groaned in pleasure. "That feels so good, what are you using?"

"Baby oil. Catherine said if I start using this now, it will cut down on the stretch marks."

Reaching back he gently pushed her off his legs, she landed on her butt on the bed. "Hey!"

"Let's test that theory, Mrs. Grissom." He took the bottle and poured some baby oil on his hands to warm it. Before he touched Sara, he leaned down to kiss her abdomen, then rubbed the oil in very gently.

"Your very good at this, Gil. That feels wonderful." His hands soon began to stray to other areas and very quickly the message was forgotten.


	19. Chapter 19

Authors note: I want to thank all the readers who added my story to their favorites and for the many kind reviews. I wanted to give Gil and Sara a happy interval, as Grissom said it's back to reality..........hang on cause it's a bumpy ride from here on.

* * *

Grissom arrived much later the next day than he planned or wanted to but quickly managed to read or dispose of most of the piles of information on his desk. Finally, he dug out the bagged envelopes hidden in his draw. Once he had verified that Sara was out on a call, he walked the letters to the trace lab. In the past, he would have dropped them off for analysis and they would have eventually been returned to his desk. Grissom was anxious to shield Sara from any knowledge of the letters or the litany of pain, torture and death they promised him. He received the first "fan" letter almost thirteen years ago. At first, he was worried and often carried a gun. Now he rarely gave them a second thought anymore. He only dreaded sitting through another lecture from Jim about being more careful and to take the threats more seriously. Grissom knew he could take care of himself but the thought that "a fan" might hurt Sara was unacceptable. However, none of the letters had ever been sent to his home and he wanted to keep it that way.

Doing the processing on the letters himself in the lab would be much faster. Unlike the other supervisors,seeing Grissom working in the lab was not unusual. He checked for fingerprints, hair, fibers and DNA. As usual the envelopes and letters provided no information about the author. Once the final tests came back negative, with no other option he went to see Jim Brass.

"Hey, it's the groom! Welcome back, Gil. How's married life treating you?"

"So far, so good!"

"I expected something a little more poetic, a sonnet on the joys of wedded bliss."

"Sorry, I'm a little low on poetry right now, the honeymoon took a lot out of me. However, my fan club has been busy while I was away. I got more love letters."

He passed the letters to Brass. "Two more, do you know that brings your total to 26? That's more than everyone else at the lab combined. What's on the menu this time?"

"I stopped paying attention to them years ago. There is no trace evidence, so per department regulations I am turning them over to the police for further follow up, for all the good it will do. Jim, can you do me a favor? Keep the letters between us, please?"

"You know I have to report this crap to the Sheriff, just the same as you do."

"The Sheriff is fine and Ecklie. I don't want Sara to know about this junk."

"Married less than a month and keeping secrets already?" Jim teased him lightly but Grissom appeared concerned, more concerned than Brass had ever seen him. "Hey, is there something different about these two letters? Do you want protection?"

"No! I just want to make sure that this lunatic can't touch Sara, or even know that I have a wife. The last thing she needs right now is to have to worry about what could happen to me every minute. Besides, you know 99.9% of the people who write this kind of crap never carry out any of the threats. I've gotten 10 or 15 of those in the last few years and nothing has ever happened to me. Nicky never got one letter but he was captured, buried alive and nearly died."

"If someone tried to hurt you anywhere near Sara, my money would be on her every time."

"Normally I would agree with you but..…Sara is pregnant."

Brass was speechless for a minute. A smartass comment about being a fast worker was swallowed quickly. "Congratulations Gil, I am very happy for you both." He shook Grissom's hand. "I hope you're right about these things. Keep me posted if anything weird happens or if you change your mind about some protection."

* * *

Grissom and Sara's life on the night shift soon settled back into the comfortable routine of working on calls at night and sleeping days for a few weeks. Sara was about to leave at the end of her shift as Ecklie came out from his office.

"Sorry, Nick and Sara! I know your shift is officially over but you are all I have right now. I got a request from the traffic department, a helicopter saw buzzards flying over the Rancho Washout. This should be quick one. I just need to verify if the remains they saw are animal or human. I want to warn you, there are some brushfires in that area because of this weird hot spell we are having."

"Damn, a few more minutes and we would have been out of here." Nick slammed his locker closed in aggravation.

"Well let's do this, Nick. The longer we take, the hotter it will be out there in the dessert."

All the SUV's were in use, so they had to take Nick's jeep. Soon as they left the Strip far behind, both were sweating freely and drinking to stay hydrated. When they finally arrived at the scene, Nick hopped out to investigate. Sara was trying to get out of the jeep but suddenly her legs felt like rubber and she was seeing double. She swung her legs out but it seemed like it was taking forever for her feet to touch the ground. The wind shifted and billows of smoke from brush fires blanket the scene, which made her cough.

"Waste of time!" Nick walked slowly back to the jeep. "The remains were once a horse but no evidence of a rider. It may have gotten loose from a local ranch or maybe it got spooked by the smell of the fires. The coyotes had a field day on it. SARA!" Nick ran to her as Sara slid down the side of the jeep. He quickly lifted her back into vehicle, pulled up the canvas top for shade and forced her drink.

"What the hell happened?" Sara came to and looked up into Nick's worried face.

"You passed out, Sara. Are you OK? You don't look so good. I'd better get you out of here."

"Excuse me!" Sara stumbled out of the jeep past Nick, fell to her knees and was very sick behind it. "Oh God, that's so classy. Don't worry Nick, just a little morning sickness."

"Morning sickness? As in you are pregnant! Does Grissom know?"

"Yah, he knows. He was sort of involved, if you know what I mean."

"Hey, congrats! Why are you still working?"

"Oh please! I've already has this argument with Gil. I'll be moving into the lab in a month or so." Sara was holding on to the jeep for dear life, she was very pale. Taking the path of least resistance, Nick picked her up and deposited her back in the jeep.

"We are so out of here. Anything happens to you and Grissom will kill me or I'll be on decomp duty for the rest of my life. Here keep drinking, Sara."

On the way back Sara asked him to pull over again to be sick. Nick radioed ahead to let them know the scene was only animal remains but that Sara was sick. He requested that Grissom be notified. Nick got very concerned when she passed out again and had stopped sweating.

Grissom was waiting at the lab when Nick arrived. He looked at the pale lifeless form and lifted Sara into his arms. For the first time in a very long time he felt real rage. The power of that rage made the dead weight of Sara's body feel like nothing. The scope of his anger was about to be felt by anyone near by. "Why didn't you take Sara to the hospital? Have you lost your mind, Nick? Going out into that part of the dessert in the daylight? If you've taken leave of your senses, why are trying to kill Sara and our baby. She is pregnant!"

"I swear to God, I didn't know. Sara just told me today, a little while ago. If I had known, I would never have taken her out there. I am so sorry, Grissom."

"Just go away Nick! Please go away quickly."

Grissom brought her to the break room couch and draped Sara in damp towels and tried to force some water down her throat. She spit out the water and started to cough.

"How did I get back here? Oh God, I feel awful."

"You probably have heat stroke. You're dehydrated and your body temperature is too high. What were you thinking, Sara? You could have died out there. Unless I can get your temperature down you could hurt or even loose the baby. Keep drinking, small sips." He rubbed her wrists, inner elbows, neck and temples with ice. "What possessed you to go out there in your condition?"

"Please don't yell! I have a headache and I was told to go."

"What jackass sent you into the dessert on a day when the temperature out there is near 100 degrees?"

"Ecklie!" As soon as the word was out of her mouth Sara cursed herself. Grissom dropped the towels and stormed from the room. "Gil, wait!"

Sara tried to get up but couldn't. She spotted Warrick at the doorway. "Warrick stop him please, he might kill Ecklie!"

Grissom slammed open Ecklie's door but the office was empty. Frustrated, he pounded both fists on the desk and then overturned it. Warwick was only a step or two behind and was stunned to see the desk go flying. He correctly surmised that only Grissom's concern for Sara would snap Grissom out of his rage.

"Grissom! Sara needs you. What should we do for her?"

As they both walked back into the break room, Sara mouthed the words "thank you" to Warrick and then laid back down so the room would stop spinning.

Grissom anger had not been fully vented on Ecklie's desk but he gently lifted Sara into a sitting position against him.

"We are going to the hospital, Sara. You are out of the field as of this moment. Is that clear?" Sara did not answer him. "Sara, do you understand me? Say something or I will fire you on the spot!"

"Yes, I understand you, Gil. Please no more yelling!"

"Yell at you, I should………..."

"What? You should hit me?"

With those words Grissom's anger died.

"Warrick can you please start my van and turn on the AC? I've got to get her to the hospital." Grissom gently kissed her forehead both in apology but also to check on her temperature. "I'm sorry, Sara. I swear I would never hit you or hurt you in any way. Please, I can't loose you too." He lifted her in his arms and walked to his van for the tense drive to the hospital.

* * *

An hour later, Sara was lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV and several monitors. Grissom and Sara's doctor, Elizabeth Lynch, talked outside her room. "It's a good thing you brought her in. She will be fine and the baby was never in any danger but she is very dehydrated and a little anemic. The rest of her blood work is still pending but I think it is best to start her on iron and vitamins."

"Sara has had trouble keeping food down for the last month or so. I was hoping the nausea would reduce after her first trimester."

"Are you a doctor?"

"Not a medical doctor, my doctorates are in forensics and entomology but I was a coroner in Los Angeles many years ago. Is there something wrong with Sara or the baby?"

"No,No, she will be fine but you will both need to be more aggressive on her nutrition and rest. The baby is also fine, the fetal heartbeat is normal but I'd like to keep her overnight as a precaution."

"I thought you would. This will be our first night apart since we were married." He walked into the room but Sara turned away from him without a word. She was very angry about his threat to fire her and also that he had ordered her around like a child. The next words out of his mouth did not help matters. "Sara they want to keep you overnight and I said yes."

He wanted to touch her and hold her but when Sara did not respond. He left her room and the hospital, with nowhere else to go he returned to the lab. Fortunately, Ecklie had gone for the day. Grissom tried to work but could not concentrate. He tried to rest on the couch in his office but just couldn't sit still. Finally, in aggravation, he threw a coffee mug against the door and watched in satisfaction as it shattered into pieces.

Warrick, startled by the sound, went into his office. "Hey Gris, nice shot! I think you need to work off some steam."

"Good idea! I'll be at the boathouse."

"Right behind you! In fact, you better let me drive."

Grissom rowed for nearly an hour until he finally stopped, out of breath and exhausted.

"What's up? I've never seen you like this. Is it Sara? Is she OK? Is the baby OK?"

"The doctor said she was fine but she's not talking to me right now. I have no clue."

"Welcome to the brotherhood!" Warrick wiggled his own wedding ring. His marriage to Tina had become less than romantic of late. "I hope your couch is comfortable. Let's go get some food and I'll drive you home. I'll handle your calls for tonight, Griss."

After a quick dinner, Grissom went home to an empty house. Unable to work or sleep there either, he finally gave up. Grissom got up, dressed and went to the hospital. He watched Sara sleep from outside her room until she woke and saw him. When she did not turn away, he entered the room very slowly but did not come any closer than the doorway.

"Sara, I know you're angry with me and you have every right to be. I was wrong. You needed my help today, not my anger. I can't say how sorry I am. The day we got married, I swore that I would never raise my voice, hit you or even threaten to. We've been married just over two months and I've already broken that promise. I was so scared today! That's no excuse but when I saw you, I lost my temper. There was no good reason to risk your life or Nick's by sending you out into the desert in the daytime. That call could have waited until sunset."

Grissom took a step forward and placed a dozen roses at the base of Sara's bed but then he stepped back to the door. "I went home tonight and without you there.....it was just so empty. Before you, I lived most of my life alone. I don't want to do that anymore. Sara, I am so sorry, please don't leave me."


	20. Chapter 20

Sara watched her husband as he stood in the doorway. His beautiful blue eyes looked so sad. She wanted to hold him and to be held. She had been scared about their baby and lonely with him gone but she was not a child. She had been hurt and then angry at his tone and attitude in the breakroom. Granted, he was fifteen years older and had a lot more life experience but sometimes he seemed to forget that she was an adult and his wife.......his partner in their life together. She was not sure why she asked him if he wanted to hit her. She had seen a few quick flashes of her husband's temper. However, he usually kept all his emotions under such tight control that she knew he would never even think of hurting her physically. Sara knew she also had a temper, a temper that had gotten her in trouble more than once. Sara remembered that instead of firing her or suspending her as he was told to, he had reached out to her, to help her.........he knew about her past and her family and still loved her. Sara gave up trying to be mad at him. She turned to look at him and what he put on the bed.

"Where in the world did you find roses at 3AM, Gilbert?"

"This is Vegas! You can find anything, anytime of day, if you know where to look."

"Thank you, they are beautiful."

"Sara, can I hold you please? Just for a minute!"

"Of course you can Gil, come here." Sara had been humiliated by way he banished her from the field but now she understood just how frightened he had been, which made him lash out.

"I love you, Sara." He sat on the edge of the bed and gathered her into his arms, being careful of the wires and IV tubes. "I love you so much."

"Gil, I said I would never leave you. I love you and that love made a baby. We've both made mistakes.....but the main thing is that I'm OK, our baby is OK."

"Honey, I don't mean to order you around or to pressure you to do things. Sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it. I guess I've been a boss for too long. I just want to help you, care for you, protect you. You mean everything to me, Sara. You said you needed some practice being a wife......well, I need practice at being a friend, a partner, your husband. Please, be patient with me."

They stay locked in the embrace for a long time. The nurse came in to check on Sara. When she saw them together, she quickly backed out of the room. When he was finally able to release her, Sara laid back very tired and Gil sat beside her bed in a chair.

"Gil when you were carrying me to the car, you said you couldn't loose me too? The other person you lost, was that your mother?"

"Yes. She was my only family until now, I have you."

"And junior!" She patted her still flat abdomen. "You have no pictures of her or your dad at your house. Do you have any?"

He nodded. "I really don't remember him that much, he died when I had just turned nine. He was lying down on the couch one day at our old house in Henderson and just never woke up. He only 38 years old but no one would ever tell me why. I found out later, much later it was a brain aneurism."

"What about your Mom?"

"Most of their pictures and what she saved would still be in the attic in Henderson. When she died I never sold her old house......I guess I couldn't let my last link to her go."

"Tell me about her?"

"She was tough, strong and brilliant. Growing up everyone said I looked like my father but I have her eyes, mouth and ears. Time for another deep dark secret from the Grissom family vault. My mother had a congenital disease which I inherited from her. It's called otosclerosis. She started to loose her hearing just before my dad died."

"So that's why you know how to sign?"

"Yes, it is also why I had to have surgery a couple of years ago, Sara. My hearing was getting pretty bad. They have made such huge advances in laser surgery in the last thirty years. I'm almost as good as new but there is a chance that I passed the condition on to our baby."

Sara knew just how hard it was for him to say those words, she squeezed his hand. "I'm glad you finally went for the surgery."

"You knew I was having hearing problems? What didn't you ever say anything to me? I tried so hard to make sure that no one knew."

"Why? Did you think you think you would get fired if anyone else found out or that I would care any less for you?"

"Truthfully, yes! That's part of the reason why. Mostly, I felt damaged.......If the surgery didn't work, I had no idea what I would do with myself or how I'd earn a living."

"Gil you are an amazing teacher, a brilliant writer not to mention an eminent entomologist. Deaf or not, you could do a lot of other things. I know you love working crime scenes like I do, figuring out the puzzle but it's hardly all you can do."

"Luckily it's a decision I don't have to make. I am fine! The progress of the condition has been stopped, at least for now. I only lost about 10 or 15% of my hearing, the lowest tones."

"Do you resent your Mom because of the hearing problems you inherited?"

"Resent her? No! Because she always had hearing problems when I was growing up, it made her a great listener. She taught me to really listen. Also learning sign was not only a great way to get and stay close to her, it taught me to watch to people when they speak not just the words but how they say the words, body language. It helps me to understand everything the suspects is saying and sometimes what they aren't saying."

"You are good at that."

"Well, usually anyway. I was closer to my mom than most boys at that age. I always felt I had to protect her after my dad died. My dad was a teacher, he lhad no money and no insurance. She always had to work but she still made time for me. She was one of the first woman mutual fund managers in the country. When she slowly began to loose her hearing, she took an early retirement and opened an art galley in Venice. She told me that she missed the ocean. The truth was she hated living in the house where my father died. You would have liked her, she was very strong, independent and she had very little patience with fools. I know she would have loved you, Sara. She admired people who went after what they wanted, ignoring people who wasted her time."

"Like her son?"

"No, not really! My mother had the unique ability to make people think that she valued their opinions and help but still did everything exactly her way. It was one gift I wish I had inherited. I stink at playing politics."

"It must have been hard to have a career back then and raise a son alone."

"I was not the easiest son to raise."

"Boy genius."

Grissom winced. "I've always hated that phrase. Due to a genetic roll of the dice, a few extra neurons firing, I have a photographic memory and can read very quickly. School was always easy for me, too easy. I was so bored they used to let me skip grades. I graduated high school at 16. I had just turned 17 and off to Harvard I went."

"You must have been so lonely. Was that the first time you and you Mom were really apart?" He nodded.

"I really didn't want to go, but I got a full scholarship. My mother was always so worried about money. I didn't want her to have to pay for my college, so I left the west coast for Boston." Grissom rested his head on her leg as she brushed her fingers through his hair. "I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life, Sara. My mother wanted me to be a doctor, so I took a lot of general science courses. Later, I toyed with the ideas of becoming a vet, an astronaut, an oceanographer and I even looked into chemical research. Forensics chose me or perhaps I should say I was guided into it because of my mother. She died of complications after her ear surgery. I was 23."

"Oh Gil, I'm so sorry."

"So was I and mad too. I wanted an explanation, a reason but I never got one."

"Did you ever go back later and review her case?"

"It was too late. All the hospital records were gone. They are only kept for seven years."

"So angry young man decides to become a forensics expert to catch all the bad guys."

"Originally yes but Sara it's been so much more. Everyday I learn so many new things but there is always more to learn. I'm never bored. Now I get to pass on what I've learned, first to Catherine and now she is training others. Soon Warrick, Nick and you will all have your own teams. It's like you are all my extended family, the only family I thought I'd ever have……I'm sorry Sara! You need to get some sleep. I'd better go." He got up and leaned down to kiss her goodbye.

The door to her room swung open as Dr. Lynch arrived. "Good morning, Sara and Dr. Grissom! You are here very early."

"I never really left, Doctor. I can't sleep alone anymore. Did you get her blood workup back yet? May I?" She handed him the printout.

"You were right it is gestational diabetes but the numbers don't really warrant medication at this point. Sara you need a lot more rest, a much better diet, some iron and vitamins. Then we can recheck you in a few weeks. If you have any more problems, you can page me at this number." She turned to Grissom who was still reading Sara's chart. "Dr. Grissom, I used one of the forensics text books you wrote while I was in Med School. I'm sorry I didn't connect your name to that book. Do you teach in Las Vegas now?"

"I don't teach anymore. I run the Las Vegas Crime Lab at least the graveyard shift. Our lab is about a half mile from here."

"Are you also a forensics expert Sara?"

"My degree is in physics but I'm planning to go back to school next year."

"You will be working full time and going to school? I don't advise that at all."

"NO!" They both say the word together. Grissom gave an apologetic grin to his wife and continued. "Sara will be working part time in the lab from now on."

"Very good, I was going to strongly suggest just that."

Sara knew her husband now had an ally and she had just lost any chance of going back to work in the field. "I'd like to get dressed and go home now if it's OK?"

Dr. Lynch nodded and removed the IV and monitors. She gave Sara prescriptions for vitamins and iron pills and her follow up appointment. Grissom and Sara were soon driving home, on the way they passed a deli.

"Would you like some potato pancakes for breakfast?" Sara smiled because he remembered her favorite and for realizing she was very hungry.

When they arrived home, Sara took a quick shower and they both settled in bed together. Neither had gotten much sleep the day or night before. Sara woke to find Grissom's hand resting protectively on her abdomen. Smiling she locked her fingers in his. "I guess we better get started on the remodeling and making plans for the nursery."

* * *

The next night Grissom walked into the Lab and went straight to Ecklie's office. He slammed open his office door. The desk had been returned to its upright position but not everything on it was back in place. Ecklie jumped up out of his chair at the loud intrusion.

"Grissom! What the hell is the meaning of this?"

"Hello, Ecklie! I just wanted to see if you got my message. You sent my wife out into the dessert yesterday. Sara is pregnant. She spent last night in the hospital. I am sure you don't care but she and the baby will be fine, no thanks to you." Ecklie tried to respond but Grissom cut him off. "The call you sent Sara and Nick on wasn't that important. It could have waited until sundown. This is not the first time you've put members of the staff in danger for no good reason. So you can get a few more brownie points. The people out there in the lab matter a hell of a lot more than you or your career. If you ever do anything that might hurt Sara, the baby or anyone else on the staff again, I will personally throw you out of here on your ass. I have all the ammunition I need, thanks to you and your team." Grissom threw the rejected case files on Ecklie's desk with notes on all the mistakes made. "That is not a threat, Conrad. It is a promise. I also know you've been trying to find a way to fire Sara because we got married. There are no regulations about married CSI agents working together. There are also no rules about my wife working on my team or my being her supervisor, I checked. Catherine will do her evaluations. We are supposed to be colleagues but if you want war, you've got it."

Speechless Ecklie just shook his head no. "Sara will be out for the rest of this week and she is no longer available for field assignments. As of now she will be working part time in the lab. I'll work with Catherine to draft a new schedule for the swing and graveyard shifts." Grissom walked out of his office and resisted the temptation but only just, to slam the door.

A short time latter Catherine entered his office and found Grissom engrossed in a textbook.

"Heard that I missed all the fun and games yesterday! Too bad only Ecklie's desk got the punishment he so richly deserves. How is Sara?"

"She and the baby are fine, Thank God........for all that jackass cares about Sara or anyone but himself."

Catherine noted several medical books on his desk. "New case? What are you reading?"

Catherine lifted the book to read the title, Complications in Pregnancy and High Risk Births. Shaking her head, she closed the book he was reading and packed up all the other books. She handed him another much smaller book from her purse, What To Expect When You're Expecting. She pointed to the pile of medical books. "Don't do this, Gil. You'll piss Sara off and you will wind up with ulcers or a heart attack. Take each day one at a time and enjoy it. Don't expect problems. You know what they say, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing but a lot of knowledge will drive you nuts."

"OK, thanks Catherine!" He agreed. "Sara will need to be part time in the lab from now on. So we will need to figure out a new schedule for our shifts and I don't' think we can expect any help from Ecklie."

"Well then, let's work something out."

Catherine and Grissom called a special staff meeting on the following Friday to announce some changes and a new schedule.

"Guys, thank you for your time. Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! This is the new schedule for the swing and graveyard shifts starting Monday. I'm very sorry for the short notice and if the changes cause anyone problems please see me after the meeting." He walked around and handed out the pages. "OK, as most of you know by now, Sara and I are expecting a baby in May." Grissom was stunned when everyone broke out into loud applause. "Thank you and Sara is OK but she is out of the field as of now. She will be working part time in the lab. So Greg will be returning to the field full time as a level two CSI on the night shift and Archie will be joining my team as a field trainee. Warrick is also moving back to my team on nights. Mike and John are moving to the swing shift with Catherine and Nick. That's it for me."

Grissom nodded to Catherine. "It's that time of year, we need your supervisor evaluations, a list of your training updates and requests. Also I sent out the memo for the annual holiday party. It will be at City Hall again this year on December 10th. There is a coverage schedule for those who are scheduled to work so that everyone can attend. Remember attendance is expected but not mandatory. In other words, be there but you don't have to stay all night. We will also be having a Christmas grab for everyone at the lab, so if you are interested in participating drop your name in the stocking hanging on my office door. OK everyone, have a great weekend and remember 30 shopping days until Christmas."


	21. Chapter 21

Grissom was sorting through papers at his desk at home, trying to match it up with information on the screen of his computer.

Sara walked by several times and finally peeked over his shoulder. "Can I help you?"

"I'm sorry, Sara. I know I've been preoccupied all day but this article for the Forensics Review was supposed to be turned in two weeks ago."

"Publish or perish?"

"Hardly, this was a series of articles our former Sheriff roped me into but this is the last article due and I'm almost done."

"I just wanted to let you know Dan Griffin called you last night. I left the message on the machine. Sorry for the interruption."

"Sara, did you need to ask me about something?"

"It can wait."

"Come back please, I could use a break. What was your question?"

"Gil, when Dan called it reminded me. I thought you said you went to Harvard?"

He took her hand and led her to the couch. "I did go to Harvard and then the FBI Academy. At Harvard, I knew very quickly I wasn't cut out for medicine. What we know today as Forensics and Criminology didn't really exist thirty years ago. So, when I graduated Harvard, I was still only 20. I didn't turn 21 until that August. No one would hire me."

"You are kidding me. Really?"

"I worked a summer at Woods Hole Oceanographic and sent out lots of resumes. I even applied to NASA. I got no job offers but I did get several scholarship offers from different universities including the FBI Academy. Working with the dolphins at Woods Hole, I became interested in behavioral science. You've been to the Academy's Criminalistics Lab. It will always be the number one lab in the world. So I accepted the offer to go to the FBI Academy.

"I saw your class pictures in the main hall. The young cadet that showed me around seemed to think you became a super spy for National Security or the CIA?"

"Right, me and James Bond." Grissom chuckled, "I also quickly realized I was not cut out to be an agent either. I hated guns, still do and I was always breaking the rules."

"Still do." Sara kissed him. "Then your Mom died."

"Yes but I couldn't get access to the records I needed to find any answers. When she died the commandant allowed me to graduate early to arrange for her funeral and settle her estate. As her only child I inherited her house, the gallery and some money. It was mine now but I couldn't stay in that house all alone. I probably should have sold it back then but I just couldn't let it go. When I left Nevada, I moved from university to university for nearly 15 years taking classes and teaching or lecturing. As a result I have lots of degrees."

"You do? How many degrees do you have and in what?"

"Chemistry, Entomology, Epidemiology and Evolutionary Biology and then I went back to Harvard when they offered a PHD in Entomology and later I got my PHD in Forensics. Somewhere in there I also have a degree in Forensic Practices and The Law and Behavioral Science but I never bothered to get my law degree or MD."

"Holy Shit! You are a genius."

"No just a good memory and a fast reader. It's not something I think about or worked hard to achieve. It just is, like my blue eyes. So many people treat me differently because of all my degrees and the books I've written but it's not who I am. Sara, just before I met you, while I was still lecturing. I heard about the new Forensics Lab opening up in Las Vegas. I had absolutely no experience but I was hired because of all my degrees. I was clueless. If Doc Burns hadn't taken me under his wing and taught me what a CSI really was, I'd probably still be teaching. He was old school, a doctor and pathologist. He was the one that taught me that people make lousy witnesses, crime scenes can be staged or altered but evidence can't lie. Once you understand all the evidence has to tell you, you can solve any puzzle. He died shortly before you came to Vegas. I like what I do and I'm good at it. I've been at the lab over ten years now but I am only just starting to get comfortable as a supervisor. Sara, I'm sorry, I do not want to run the lab someday. I know you have ambitions for me but it's just not something I would be good at."

"I know Gil. It's just not you."

"When we first met, I'd spent so much time with stuffy old professors I was rapidly becoming one myself. Then I saw this beautiful young girl in my class with long dark hair. You wore your hair in two ponytails back then. I was stunned when I asked you to go sailing with me and you actually said yes. By the way, I always meant to thank you for those short skirts you always wore to class. They gave me something to look forward to everyday, you have the most beautiful legs, Sara."

"And you had lots of blond curls back then, never wore socks but you always seemed so sad."

"I was tired of teaching and taking classes. I wanted to do something else.....mostly because of you. That's one of the reasons I left teaching and came to Las Vegas."

"It wouldn't have to do with the fact I was only 22 years old at the time."

"That too! I was called before the board of trustees when another teacher saw us on a picnic."

"Oh Gil, I'm sorry. I never knew you were forced to leave the university because of me. Why didn't you tell me. I thought you got bored with me and the school and just left."

"I probably could have fought the board but I had messed up your life enough already. I felt that your life would have been so different.....better if we had never gotten involved. I am sorry you quit medical school and switched majors because of me."

"Is that what you thought? Oh no, Gil! I had just finished my pediatric rotation. I had lost a little boy to cancer and a little girl to a heart defect on my service. My peer counselor said the same thing you did, that I have too much empathy for my patients. He said that I had to change careers or I'd wind up a basket case. He was the one that suggested Forensics."

"Hell! All along I thought you left medicine for me. See what happens when you jump to conclusions. God, you are good for my ego too. I feel like such an ass now." Grissom pulled her into his arms. "You help me in so many ways, Sara. I know I get too wrapped up in the science and forget the human element in situations."

"Is that why you called me to come to Vegas when Holly died?"

"Partly! I told myself it was best for the lab but I wanted to see you again. I couldn't admit even to myself back then that I needed you and wanted you in my life........you are my life, Sara."

"Well it took you long enough, Dr. Grissom. You fought me every inch of the way and I was still the one that made the first move and kissed you."

"Thank God you did! I don't think I ever could......even though I wanted to."

"I know! Gil, that first time I kissed you, you didn't respond. I thought you were going to push me away."

"I should have but I couldn't. I wanted to kiss you for so long, to be with you. I felt like I was alive again for the first time in such a long time. I doubt I could have stopped kissing you even if I wanted to, which I didn't. Sometimes, even now, I am startled when I see you in the kitchen or in bed beside me. What did I do to deserve you? Do you regret it, Sara?"

"Being with you that night? Hell no, I'd spent five years trying to get you into bed with me. Every once and a while it still startles me when I'm called, Mrs. Grissom."

"Are having second thoughts now, pregnant and married to an old man?"

"You are not old and I am exactly where I want to be. Junior is just an added bonus."

"Do you have any regrets, Gil?"

"Just one! That I waited way too long." He kissed her several times.

"I thought you said that you had an article to finish."

"Later."

"We have to finish the plans for the remodeling."

"Much later!" Sara smiled as he carried her to the bedroom, she kicked the bedroom door closed.

* * *

"Hey Cath!" Sara walked into the break room at the lab early the next afternoon.

"Hey, Sara! You're here early, what's up?"

"I got up early and just dropped by to say hi. Now that I work in the lab I never get to see you guys anymore."

"Grissom is rubbing off on you, Sara. You used to be a much better liar."

"Can I see you in your office?"

"Sure! Are you OK? Nothing wrong with the baby is there?"

"Junior is fine." Sara shut the door. "I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this. I don't mean to embarrass you but well.....when you were expecting did you ever...."

"Did I ever what? Out with it."

"I know when you're pregnant your hormones go crazy. Did your sex drive get elevated?"

Catherine laughed. "I was horny as hell the whole time. I used to attack Eddie regularly."

"It's not funny, Cath. I attacked Gil in shower. It was practically rape, I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be, he got you pregnant. I say enjoy it while it lasts. In a few more months you'll be hitting him instead. Those last six weeks are a bitch." They both laughed. "I gave Gil a book, a present for you both. Something to help you with any further questions you may have. I'm sure he is finished reading it by now. Ask him for it. Sara, if you have questions, you ever need somebody to listen or just a shoulder to cry on, you know my door is always open."

"See you later Cath….and thanks!"

Catherine deliberately waited for Grissom to come in even though she could have gone home early. In some ways Gil was the big brother she never had and she never missed the chance to tease him.

"Hey, Grissom!"

"Hi, Catherine! Got any leftovers for me today?"

"No the board is clear. A slow day, for a change."

"Good, I can use one. I have to finish that last article for the Forensic Review."

"Ahem! Grissom you may want to button up your shirt a little more, your hickey is showing."

"My what?" Grissom went to the mirror on the wall in his office bathroom. "Oh Shit!" He was deeply blushing. "Wait a minute, how did you know?"

"Sara came by earlier."

"Catherine, I didn't know what to do. She attacked me."

"Oh honey, the fun and games have just begun. Enjoy!"

A very puzzled Grissom watched as Catherine left laughing. He took out the book from his desk that she gave him a few days ago on pregnancy but never got around to reading. He slipped the book into his briefcase, as he took out his notes for the article. Later that evening he went to the break room for some ice. In the men's room he opened his shirt and pressed ice on the bite marks. After a few minutes the door opened again. Grissom threw the ice in the sink and quickly started to button his shirt.

"Problem, Gil?"

"Oh it's you, Doc. I thought it was Greg."

"They confuse us all the time."

"Al, you have kids right?"

"Three, two boys and a girl. The youngest is sixteen now, why?"

"When your wife was pregnant did she ever get.............you know aggressive in bed."

The coroner walked over to examine the skin visible in the half way buttoned shirt, and saw three large red marks on Grissom's neck and chest.

"Sara attacked you?"

He nodded. "In the shower.....one minute she was shampooing my hair and the next.....Doc, I'm two or three inches taller and about fifty pounds heavier but I swear if I had not been willing, she would have forced herself on me. It was almost scary."

"Gil my boy, it's a good thing you like roller coasters. You have just had your first ride on the hormone express. You should know a woman's hormones go haywire during pregnancy. One minute she will be in tears over nothing, then her anger will flair. One day she is insatiable and then a few days later she can't stand the sight of you and you're sleeping on the couch. Good luck! I couldn't go through all of that again. I can't imagine what it would be like dealing with all that at your age. All I can say is to try not to take it so personally and be ready to apologize."

"For what?"

"I never did figure that one out..........probably because you got her pregnant!"

"Thanks a lot, Doc!" Grissom responded sarcastically. However, feeling a little less apprehensive, Grissom returned to his office.

Enjoying a rare very quiet night, he was able to complete the article and was soon engrossed in Catherine's book. On the last page she wrote, "Give this to Sara when you're done."

In the morning, after his shift Grissom quietly entered the house trying not to wake Sara. However, she was awake and had an elaborate breakfast made and served as he arrived.

"What are you doing up this early, Sara. You need more sleep, remember the doctor's orders."

"I made you breakfast."

"I can see that! Thank you but why? I know the smell usually make you feel sick this early."

"I wanted to apologize for yesterday." She unbuttoned his shirt and saw the red and purple marks on his neck and chest. "Oh God! I am so sorry, Gil."

"I was a little startled at first but actually it's kind of flattering that an old man like me can still get you that excited."

Sara gently kissed the marks on his necks and then his lips. Soon breakfast was forgotten as they walked to the bedroom. Later in bed, Sara gently touched the marks. "Do they hurt?"

"No, you were very gentle with me.......this time. Just can't get enough of me huh?"

"It's the hormones. You just happened to be the closest guy in my bed and shower."

"Oh really?"

"I think I've inflated your ego enough for one day. Do you want me to reheat breakfast?"

"To hell with breakfast!" He continued to kiss her everywhere.

"I think I've created a monster."

"Do you want me to stop?"

Sara shook her head no. She never made it to the UNLV orientation or the lab later that day. They sleep together all afternoon in each other's arms.

* * *

Grissom arrived later that day for his night shift and was inspecting his neck in the office mirror when Warrick walked in.

"Hey Gris! Sara called in sick, is everything OK? What the hell happened to you? OHHH!" He stopped when he realized what the marks were.

"It's Sara! She attacks me all the time. I'm an old man and rapidly aging. This is not what I expected from marriage."

Warrick walked out of Grissom's office without a word.

"Warrick, where are you going?"

"Yup! I just wanted to check that I was in the right office. I'd expect that kind of talk from Catherine, not you. It is weirding me out."

"I was hoping for some compassion, a little understanding. It wasn't that long ago you were the newlywed. Remember, welcome to the brotherhood?" Grissom wiggled his wedding ring.

"It appears I may not be a married man much longer. Tina and I are always fighting."

"I'm sorry, Rick. Can I do anything to help? Do you need some time off?"

"No but thanks, we are still talking. Now that we are both on the night shift again, me here and her at the hospital, maybe things will get better."

"Are you taking Tina to the holiday party this year? With all the new couples and weddings since last year's party, it going to be a very full table this year. Besides Sara and I, David and Ann and Tina and you, Nick is now seeing Susan and Greg is seeing Sheila. Only Mike, John and Archie will be going stag this year. Wonder who Catherine will bring this year? "


	22. Chapter 22

Sara frowned in the mirror as she finished dressing for the Christmas Party. "Gil, does this dress look too tight?"

"No."

"You didn't even look at me."

"What?" Grissom walked into the bedroom struggling with his tux bow tie. Sara was looking at her reflection the mirror. She was wearing the black silk dress he bought for her on their honeymoon.

"I asked you if this dress looks too tight now. I think I'm starting to show."

Grissom smiled at the woman studying herself critically in the mirror. His eyes, hands and lips had explored every change the pregnancy had made. Her stomach was slowly rounding and her breasts were fuller and so much more sensitive. He had always thought that she was beautiful but now Sara almost glowed. He had nearly laughed a week ago when Sara said that she was getting fat, luckily he remembered Al Robbins comments about moods swings during pregnancy.

"No honey, you look fantastic in it, just a few more sexy curves." He kissed her cheek.

Sara smiled when she saw his tie had come undone. "Here, let me fix your tie."

"That's too tight Sara!"

"No it's not, you look very handsome."

"I'll look handsome and dead if you cut off my oxygen supply."

"OK, Scrooge! It's the Christmas party and I want to enjoy it. Quit your bitching! Don't you want to spend sometime with the gang away from the lab."

"Yes but the new Sheriff will be there, the Under Sheriff, the Mayor, Ecklie and God knows how many other politicians and bureaucrats. I'd rather avoid them all, wear something a lot more comfortable and go out to dinner with everyone some place a hell of a lot more fun than City Hall.........Sara, you forgot your necklace. After all, I did buy it for you to go with that dress."

She handed him the necklace that was in her hand, so he could help her fasten the clasp. "Well Gil, I'm ready and I want at least one dance with you. This is the first official function we are going to since we got married. So try to be nice tonight and stop playing with that tie. That's why it keeps coming untied. I promise we won't stay that long OK?"

"You are stunning, Sara! Oh well, no matter what else happens tonight, I'll be with the most beautiful woman there."

Later, Grissom sat alone at the CSI table watching as Sara danced with almost every man at the party but him, from the Mayor down to Hodges from the lab. He was pleased that at least for tonight Warrick and Tina seemed to be happy. Catherine came stag for once. She was busy dancing with every man in the room and seemed to have shaken off her slight depression after losing Sam. To Grissom's mind, the deaths of Eddie Willows and Sam Braun was a small loss. Mike, John and Archie, his three youngest trainees, all looked bored and uncomfortable, trying not to watch the clock until they could escape. His eyes scanned the room again trying to locate Sara. He was surprised to see Terry Lewis crossing the room towards him.

"Hi, Gil! Happy Holidays, this is the first time I have been on the right coast to attend one of these parties."

"Hello, Terry. Happy Holidays! I wasn't expecting you. I thought you were cutting back on traveling now that you're married."

"I'm not married anymore. Things.......well, they just didn't work out. You look very handsome in that tux. You should dress up more often."

"I look like one of the waiters. I can't wait to leave and get out of this thing."

"That's an interesting offer, but don't you think we should at least dance once before we leave and get more comfortable somewhere else."

"That's not what I meant, Terry....Ahhh I...."

"I still make you nervous Gil, that's good. I believe you still owe me a dinner."

"Terry, I'd love to make up for the last time we tried to have dinner but…"

"Great one dance and then we'll go. I know this romantic little place way off strip."

"Terry, some things have changed since the last time I saw you." She walked him onto the dance floor. Gil was very uncomfortable and tried to catch Sara or Catherine's attention.

"Yes, I can see some definite changes and I approve. After the song, Terry took his hand to lead him off the dance floor. "Shall we go?"

Sara noticed Terry and Grissom dancing but her husband looked very uncomfortable. She asked Nick for a rain check and walked over in time to hear Terry's question. "Where are we going?" Sara asked Terry as Grissom look very relieved.

"Sara, you remember Terry Lewis. Terry, this is my wife, Sara."

"Wife! Oh, Congratulations. Well damn, I see I'll have to find another playmate for the night."

It was obvious to Sara that Terry had one drink too many and Grissom, as usual, was oblivious to her intentions. He was just relieved that the whole awkward situation was over.

"Thank you, Sara. Can we please leave now? It's almost time for my shift."

"I want one dance with my husband and then we can go. Quick, Ecklie is coming this way. I do not him to touch me." Sara came into his arms. She closed her eyes, rested her head on his broad shoulder and let him take the lead. Unlike most of the other men at the party, Grissom was a good dancer but was usually too self-conscious to really enjoy himself. Sara loved to be held by him and dancing was a great excuse. Many nights she would turn on some soft music and snuggle against him until he took the hint. Lost in each other, they danced through two songs. "Gil, you were right. This party is boring. What if we have a holiday party at our place, just for the gang at the lab. Very casual, jean casual, say on the 23rd. It's the weekend so we don't have to worry about covering shifts and we can have the Christmas Grab without any of Ecklie's silly rules."

Mike walked over to claim his dance but Grissom twirled Sara away as the music started again. Grissom finally had her all to himself and was not in the mood to share, especially not with Mike. Sara thought of Nick and Warrick as a big brothers. Greg seemed to have accepted that Sara loved him but as a little brother. Grissom recognized the look in Mike's eyes when he looked at Sara. It was the same look he had for nearly ten years........Mike was young, handsome and in love. Thank God that Sara thought of him as kid, perhaps even as a promising young colleague. He wanted to keep it that way.

Unaware that Grissom had foiled two or three attempts for other men to cut in on their dance, she continued to talk about party plans. "The contractor won't start on the remodeling until after the new year and we have already moved a lot of the books and breakable things into the garage or storage. I'll bet with all the bookshelves gone there would be more than enough room. We would need to get some chairs, a few decorations, food, wine and beer. What do you think?"

Sara knew that in the past Grissom's townhouse had been his escape, a fortress where he could go to be alone. Visitors were few and far between, until recently. To her, that he was even considering a party was a huge step forward. She knew that Gil still thought of himself as a ghost, invisible.

"I know there was some old Christmas stuff that my mother saved up in the attic in Henderson. I think there might be some folding chairs in the basement. Do you think anyone would want to come?" She nodded and smiled as they continued to dance. "Sara, what do you think about moving to my mother's house while they do the remodeling? Then again maybe not, it's kind of a long drive to and from Vegas everyday. I suppose we can always move into a hotel or rent a temporary apartment for a few months."

"Let's drive there this weekend and then we can decide." Sara kissed Grissom deeply, he was very surprised because Ecklie had cautioned them both against public displays of affection.

"Sara behave, we are in public."

"We are at a party, not the lab. I was just making sure Terry and any other female at this party knows that you are taken."

"I think she and everyone in this room else got that message. Please don't tell me you were jealous, Sara?"

"Oh course! I saw how she looked at you. Just protecting what's mine, now let's go home."

"Nope! I'm not sure I want to leave now that I have you all to myself. Have I told you tonight how beautiful you are, Sara?"

"I think you might have mentioned it, but I don't mind. Have I told you how much I love you, Gilbert Grissom?"

As they continued to dance, he couldn't help but recall last year's party. He came and left alone as always. He danced once with Catherine but had watched unhappily as Sara danced with her date. He tried several times to work up the courage to ask her to dance with him but in the end, he had barely spoken to her all night. He was amazed at all the changes one year had made. The year would soon be over.

It was a year of such strange contrasts that brought death to Catherine's father and nearly to Nick, Sara and Greg. It was also a year that saw three weddings for himself, Warrick and David Phillips. He felt that Catherine and her daughter Lindsey would be happier with Eddie and Sam out of their lives. Grissom was also thankful that Nick had fully recovered from his ordeal and that Greg no longer had a trace of his limp and was back in the field full time again. Most of all he was so happy that Sara was well and they were finally together. As the song came to an end, Grissom led Sara from the dance floor. Catherine was with Nick and Warrick with Tina, they tried to say goodnight to the pair as they walked by but Gil and Sara only had eyes for each other.

Mike watched as they passed by him laughing and smiling at each other. He had never seen Sara look more beautiful but he had danced with her only once all night. Grissom made sure of that.......Mike was pretty sure Grissom knew he was in love with Sara. During his one dance with her earlier, all she spoke about was her husband and the remodeling they were doing for the baby.....she was a woman in love. She all but glowed with it. It had been obvious from the first that Grissom also cared deeply about her. John kidded him all the time that falling in love with the bosses wife was not good for his carreer. Mike had never felt this way about anyone before and had no idea how to make it stop. Greg told him that he needed to find a cute girl and have some fun. He was not really in the mood for fun at this moment! Minutes later a pretty new lab tech tapped him on the shoulder asking him to dance, with a forced smile he escorted her onto the dance floor.

Grissom drove his wife home, he had originally planned to drop off Sara and drive back to the lab for his shift. However, once inside the door of the townhouse Sara reached up to open and remove his tie and then stepped in front of him, wordlessly asking him to unzip her dress and open the necklace. With a very provocative glance over her shoulder, Sara walked to the bedroom. Grissom quickly checked the time and followed Sara into the bedroom. After all, he was the boss. He could be late just this once!


	23. Chapter 23

That weekend, Grissom was driving back to Vegas from Henderson, Sara was still looking through all the picture albums they'd found in the attic at his Mother's house. "I never realized just how much junk my mother kept. I think she saved every photograph ever taken of my Dad or me. Sara, aren't you bored yet? You must have looked at every single one of them by now from the day I was born."

"I love them all. You were a beautiful baby and a cute kid. I hope junior takes after you."

"I hope he or she looks like you. Honey, please tell me you aren't going to name our baby Gilbert Junior, if it's a boy. I've always hated my name.......except when you call me Gilbert. That's why I ask everyone to just call me Grissom."

"What name do you like?"

"I don't really care, anything but Gilbert. My dad was Andrew. My uncle was Edward."

"How about, Andrew Gilbert Grissom?"

"I can live with that. What about if it's a girl? I love the name Sara but it might be confusing."

"I've always loved the name Emma."

"Emma Sara Grissom, I like that!"

"No, not Sara, I hate my name too. How about Emma Victoria Grissom?"

"I know my mother would have been thrilled to have a grandchild at all but to have her grandaughter named after her, thank you, Sara."

"Gil, I love her house and even though I never met her, I love your mother. Thank you for giving me her tea set."

"If she were alive, I know she would want you to have it. It was her favorite and she used it almost every day. She wouldn't like it sitting around collecting dust." Sara leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. "Well if nothing else this road trip accomplished two things, Sara. We got some decorations and chairs for the party but we definetly can't use her house during the remodeling. It took just over an hour to drive from Las Vegas to Henderson and that was on a weekend with lighter traffic. That's too long a drive to make each way everyday. Also the house is in serious need of some work. I've been neglecting it. While you were in the attic, I surveyed the rest of the house and garage. It's full of books, papers and research material that I've dumped in there over the last 15 years. I need to go through it all and will probably toss most of it out, the information is outdated. The roof and gutters need repair and some windows....hell, the whole place looks old, dusty and dirty. It would probably be easier just to sell it."

"You've kept it for over 25 years, Gil. Don't make a snap decision today, please? We can rent a small apartment while they remodel and come back here on weekends to work on her house. I wish you had let me take the antique aluminum Christmas tree in the attic. I couldn't believe the color wheel still works. That style of tree is coming back now and they are very expensive."

"That old thing? God, it's hideous! I always hated it, Sara. Mom bought that after my dad died. I've always wanted a real Christmas tree, a spruce or evergreen. They smell so good.......Well, maybe some day."

Sara leaned over to hug him. She had been racking her brain to figure out what to get him for Christmas and now she had at least one or two ideas.

* * *

Two weeks before Christmas, Grissom received a request from the Sheriff of Silverton. A bug riddled corpse had been found in a cave, he had been asked to consult on the case. They need him to pinpoint a time and cause of death. Also, if possible, to find an identity for the victim. Silverton was a small, former mining town on the border of Nevada and California. Hoping to use the case to further educate his newbies, Grissom hoped to take Archie, John and Mike along. Mike apologized but said he had made other plans for the weekend.

Very early Saturday morning, Grissom made some coffee to take for the long drive and also poured a cup of herbal tea for a yawning Sara.

"You didn't have to get up so early, honey. I'll get something to eat on the way. I'm sorry to spoil our weekend but I should be back later tonight or early tomorrow at the latest."

"It's OK, I understand. You are the bug man! Wear your heavier jacket, it's cold and please be careful. I wish I could go with you.....I know I can't but I am glad you won't be going alone."

A horn honked from the driveway. "That will be John. Go back to bed, Sara. I'll call you later."

Sara kissed him goodbye and waved to John and Archie from the door. She waited to hear the van pull away and ran to the phone. "Catherine, he is gone. Were you able to find a really big tree?"

"All nine feet of it! Mike is picking it up now. I found a really sturdy old cast iron tree stand and some lights but I think we will need a lot more lights and tons of ornaments."

"I took some ornaments from his mom's house but a lot of them are broken or so old they won't shine up."

"That's why God invented shopping malls. I'll be there in an hour and I'll bring some bagels and a coffee for Mike."

Mike wrestled the monstrous tree into the stand but still needed to nail the stand to the floor and attach wires to keep everything in place. That was after he spent most of the morning carrying boxes to the garage and moving the remaining furniture several times. Both Sara and Catherine wanted to show off every possible inch of the massive tree in the now empty and open space of the townhouse's living room, dining room and kitchen area.

Finally done, Mike crashed to the floor dead tired. "Thank God you guys are remodeling. If you think it was a pain in the ass putting this thing up, wait until you have to take it down. I've got pine needles and tree resin all over me. Catherine, Sara, I'd love to stay and help decorate but I desperately need a shower."

Sara handed Mike his jacket with a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Mike! Gil has always wanted a real tree."

Mike still carried a torch for Sara but seeing her in love and so happy with Grissom made it a little easier to bear. That, plus the endless supply of lovely young ladies that Greg had introduced him to lately. "Have fun ladies and Merry Christmas."

Sara and Catherine started to test the lights. After a brief argument on who would climb the ladder, which Catherine won when she reminded Sara that she was over four months pregnant and would not bounce well. The few sets of working lights Catherine brought barely covered half of the huge tree.

"OK, Wal-Mart here we come for starters. Let's stop by and pick up Lindsey. She should be up by now." Catherine called her daughter from the car on the drive over to her house. "What else did you get Gil for Christmas? He is impossible to buy for."

"I found a wedding picture of his mom and dad, it was a little damaged. So I'm having it restored. I also found this elegant wooden double oval frame. I had a print made of one of our wedding pictures for it."

"Wow! That sounds really beautiful. I wonder what he is getting you?"

"I told him no gifts. The remodeling will cost a small fortune and we will have to rent a place to stay during the remodeling. I wanted to stay in Henderson but Gil said it was too far to drive everyday."

"Sara, do you really think he is not going to buy you anything? Get serious! Drop lots of hints. You could ask for the moon and he would try and get it for you, he is so far gone."

Sara just blushed as Catherine honked for Lindsey. After some Christmas shopping in several stores and lunch, all three returned to finish decorating the tree. By late afternoon it was totally covered in lights and ornaments. As they stepped back, Lindsey plugged it in. The room was bathed in the smell of pine and the shimmer of all the twinkling lights and ornaments.

"It's really big! Think it's too much?" Lindsey stepped into Catherine's arms for a hug.

"Looks like Santa's workshop. I love it! We will drop all these empty boxes in the garage on the way out. You should probably crash for awhile, Sara."

"Yeah, I want a nap now, so I can wait up for Gil. It smells wonderful! Thanks for your help. You both are coming to the party next weekend?

"Wouldn't miss it! We'll be there with cookies and pies and other goodies."

Sara stretched out on the couch and admired the finished tree. She drifted into a nap but woke up immediately when she heard a van turn into the driveway. Sara ran to the door and stepped outside to wait for Grissom as he collected his gear from the van.

"Sara? Honey, what are doing up this late?"

"I was getting the house ready for the party. Before you start lecturing me, don't worry, Mike, Catherine and Lindsey helped me." She opened the door so he could get the total view of the huge tree fully decorated.

"Sara! It's real?" He couldn't say anymore but he reached for her hand to kiss it. "Thank you for such a wonderful gift."

"Merry Christmas, Gil!" Sara led him to the new location for the couch but he remained transfixed by the tree and lights. She could see he was very tired and suggested that they go to bed.

"Let's stay here. Are you warm enough?" He stretched out on the couch and Sara cuddled against him, they both fell asleep watching the tree twinkle in the dark.

Later the next week, they were making final preparations for their party. Sara mounted her gift over the fireplace, it was covered it in holiday tissue paper.

"What's that?"

"Gil, you scared me. Don't ever sneak up on a pregnant person like that."

"Sara, I thought we agreed, no gifts this year. You already got me the Christmas tree."

"I lied, OK!"

"What is it?"

"Well open it."

"It's not Christmas yet."

"I won't tell Santa, if you don't. Please?" He pulled the ribbon and the tissue drifted to the floor. Grissom was astonished, he reached out to touch the picture of his parents and then the picture of his wedding day to Sara. "It's for you but it is also for junior. Do you like it?" Overcome, he just nodded, smiled and pulled her into his arms. They stayed that way until the doorbell rang. "Our guests are here. Are you OK? With a kiss, he finally pulled his eyes away from the framed pictures and moved to answer the door.

As more and more people arrived, Sara, Catherine and Lindsey set up the food buffet. Warrick and Nick set up a drink table, many people brought gifts of wine or liquor. Most people didn't bother with chairs and sat on the floor as the gift exchange began. Soon the floor could barely be seen under the carpet of boxes, ripped wrapping paper and tissue paper from opened gifts. The office gift swap was a lot more fun without Ecklie's restrictions on the types of gifts that could be given. Archie and Greg set up music as couples sang Christmas songs and slowly began to dance. Grissom and Sara watched contended from the couch until it started to get dark. During a break in the music he tapped a glass to speak. "Thank you all for coming. I don't want to keep you too late. If anyone needs a ride home, let me know. Sara and I want to thank you for sharing part of your holiday with us. Some of you are heading home to your families and others have to work next week, so to all of you, wherever you are have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!"

"Merry Christmas!" Everyone repeated as glasses were clinked together or people hugged.

"Please feel free to take some leftovers home.......and now with apologies to the hip-hop crowd, I would like one slow song so I can dance with my wife will I can still fit my arms around her." Sara blushed deeply but came into his arms with a kiss. Mel Torme's Christmas Song filled the room as Sara and Grissom danced by themselves at first. Slowly couples paired up. Jim Brass asked to dance with Catherine and Mike asked to dance with a thrilled Lindsey. After the slow dance was over, people slowly started to leave. After the last guest had left, Sara started to collect all the used cups and plates and cover the leftover food.

"Sara, I'm tired, let's go to bed. This mess will still be here in the morning."

"Well, we can eat for at least a week on all the leftovers. I just wanted to store the food so it won't go bad."

He finished storing the food away. "Sara, thank you for tonight, it was fun. I always thought this place was too small to have friends over. The best part is we still have the next two days all to ourselves."

"It's going to take at least that long to clean up but I had a great time too. I used to work all the holidays, no family."

"Me too but not anymore! Just think next year junior will be here with us. Sometimes it feels like my life right now is a dream. If it is, please don't ever wake me up?" He kissed her and then pointed under the Christmas tree. "Since you cheated, I got something for you too."

Sara was surprised to see two gift under the tree that were not there earlier. "I thought we had an agreement, no gifts."

"I lied too. Which would like to open, the big one or the small one?"

"Big!" She plopped down on the floor and ripped off the paper quickly. "Oh Gil, a laptop computer! I needed this for school. Thank you so much."

"I've already down loaded all your files from your old one, so you are good to go."

"What's in the little one?"

He shook his head and helped her up. "That's for Christmas. Maybe if you are very nice to me, I'll let you open it tomorrow on Christmas Eve."

Sara slipped her arms around him and kissed him deeply. "OK Santa but trust me, you'll have a lot more fun if I'm naughty, not nice."

"HO! HO! HO!"

* * *

The next afternoon after the cleanup was finished and all the opened gifts were found and placed under the tree, Sara wandered over and picked up the small box and shook it.

Grissom walked up behind her and whispered in her ear, "No Snooping!"

Sara jumped back and dropped the box. "Damn it, stop sneaking up on me. Also according to my beautiful new watch from my secret santa, it is Christmas Eve and I've been a very good girl…"

"Yes, you have." He reached down and handed her the box.

She opened it quickly and found a shinny new key. "What in the world it this for?"

"That's the key to our temporary new place, if you like it. I got a great deal on a six month lease."

"Where is it?"

"Not far from here. The Wynn Apartments, right next to the hotel and casino. Let's go out for dinner and then I'll take you there."

As they drove to the apartment house, Grissom explained. "It's not quite finished yet, they are putting a rush on it so it will be done this week and we can move in next week." He opened the door to the lavish apartment. You don't like it Sara?"

"I don't want to sound ungrateful but it's too fancy. It looks like those places you see in a magazine, too perfect to really be lived in.....besides I love our townhouse. Oh well, we will only be here three or four months. I can be happy anywhere as long as you are with me." Sara walked through the large living room, into the equally large kitchen and bedroom. "This must have cost a fortune. You are crazy, Gilbert. What's wrong with a studio apartment?"

"As you said it's temporary, I haven't signed the lease yet. If you really hate it that much, I can cancel the deal. However, it is very close to work, UNLV and your doctor."

"I never said I hated it. It is beautiful but it's just not us!" Sara checked her watch to confirm it was now officially Christmas. "Oh! Speaking of my doctor, I went to see her for a check-up. As a precaution, she ran some tests and an ultrasound."

"Sara, why didn't you tell me? I wanted go with you. Is everything OK?"

"Don't look so worried. All the tests came back fine, no problems. I have one last gift. It's another picture for you." She handed him a small flat package. The picture was gray and very grainy. "That's our baby........Gil, we are having a boy. Meet your son!"

"A boy! A son?" He stared at the photograph smiling until he had to turn away momentarily to wipe something that got in his eye. "I guess I won't be the last of the Grissoms after all." He pulled her into his arms for a hug. "Sara saying thank you and I love you doesn't even begin to cover what I feel for you and all the things you given me, done for me. I know you haven't been feeling well lately, so you can't really enjoy work or school........and you had to give up working in the field early......"

Sara stopped him with a kiss and placed his hand on the bump that was starting to show. "You don't get to open this gift for another twenty weeks or so. Let's go home, Gil."

"Absolutely, I want to unwrap my favorite gift under my beautiful Christmas tree."

"I already gave you all my presents, what gift?"

"You!"

After the short ride home, Grissom started a fire and Sara spread a comforter on the floor in front of the tree. He put on some Christmas music on and she poured some Egg Nog.

"Merry Christmas, Mrs. Grissom!"

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Grissom and Happy New Year with us together and junior."


	24. Chapter 24

Fireworks lit up the night sky. Gil and Sara Grissom watched them from the private balcony of their temporary new apartment. The celebration to welcome the New Year was barely minutes old but the impressive pyrotechnics could not hold his interest. His wife snuggled back against him as they sat together on a patio lounge chair. Grissom's arms automatically moved to go around her and the rapidly growing bump in her mid-section, their baby, their son. The idea that he would not be the last of the Grissom line still stunned him at times. His hand automatically began to rub in the gentle circles on her stomach that Sara always found comforting. Even through the multiple layers she wore for warmth, every now and then Grissom could feel a small flutter of life under his fingers and his heart swelled in his chest.

Mentally he reviewed the timetable for the renovations already underway on their townhouse. He wanted to make sure all the work was completed at least two months before Sara's May 10th due date. That was a minor concern. Grissom chief concern was for his wife. Her pregnancy had not been an easy one so far. Sara was still was having trouble eating or at least keeping the food down once she ate and no matter how much sleep she got, Sara was often exhausted.

"Penny for your thoughts." She leaned back to kiss his cheek.

"I was thinking about last year, everything that happened, all the changes. Catherine used to harass me about needing to look up from my microscope occasionally."

"Only Catherine could get away with that. I used to be jealous of how close you two were."

"Don't be, Sara! I swear Catherine was put on this earth just to torment me. She was forever harassing me about something, no almost everything but mostly about you. Pushing me to do something about us before it was too late. She reminded me that we are all a family and like it or not, I was the head of that family. That thought used to scare me."

"Not anymore?"

"A little but ready or not, I'll be getting some hands on experience pretty soon."

Sara covered his hands with her own, weaving her fingers with his. "I think you'll make a great father."

"I hope so but I'll be flying blind. I lost my dad when I was nine. Never really had a man in my life growing up, so I had no role model. Mostly I just want junior to know that I care. I don't want him to ever wonder if I love him.......to hurt him like I hurt you, Sara. I was so afraid to reach out to you for so long." Sara kissed him again. "God Sara, I hated the man I had become. Closed off from everyone, isolated and alone in my townhouse. People afraid to laugh or joke around and sometimes even talk around me. Poor Judy, even now she avoids me. She practically runs in the other direction if she sees me in the lab hallway. Gruesome Grissom, no wonder no one ever talked to me, asked for my help or included me in any of the lab off hour activities……until you."

"The only time you touched anyone was with latex gloves on?"

Stunned Grissom sat up and turned Sara's face to him. "How did you know I said that, Sara?"

"I'm sorry, I never meant to eavesdrop. Nick, Warrick, Greg and I, we tried to watch all your interrogations. I was in the observation room when you interviewed Dr. Lurie about the death of Debbie Marlin and her boyfriend. Gil, I know that case still haunts you. Don't worry, you could never be like him."

"I was him! I saw my life mirrored in his. I allowed my work to totally consume my life. You don't know how much I wanted to change.....but I couldn't do it." Sara looked startled at that phrase for a moment, then she reached out to carress her husband's face. "I was such a coward. I know I hurt you. I wanted you so much but I couldn't reach out for you. Please beleive me, there was and is nothing wrong about you, Sara. It was me! I wasn't sure that I could ever open my heart again, to give you everything you needed and deserved. Your love changed me, saved me!"

"My grandmother told me when I was very young that everyone is searching to find the other half of their heart, their soul mate. I never thought I would find someone who could love me for who I am, warts and all. You do give me everything, Gil and you changed me too."

"There are so many stories in literature about soul mates but I never really believed that there would be someone, somewhere, destined to love me, complete me……but I was wrong. You tore down my walls."

"I do not complete you because nothing was missing but I think I compliment you. We balance each other. You gave me a career I love, the home I never had and now junior." She patted her expanding abdomen. "I never really thought about my future.......except about my career. I never thought much about getting married or having children. You saved me from being an old maid."

"I seriously doubt that. I was just lucky I caught you between all your boyfriends."

Sara playfully slapped his arm. "Yeah, right! My one an only boyfriend, Hank the jerk."

"He was the only one you dated more than once. What about Greg, Nick, Mike and David? Those are just the guys at the lab that I know of that asked you out. Please don't try to tell me that several police officers, firemen or other paramedics didn't ask you out too."

Sara noted and aprreciated that he never mentioned Ian. "Having dinner or going out to a movie is not a relationship or a commitment.......all though some people seem to feel that it is, Dr. Grissom."

"Am I never going to live down that one mistake? I didn't mean that I had no interest in seeing you. I meant that seeing each other would be very complicated. It came out all wrong as usual. Trust me to open my mouth and insert a foot or two. I'm sorry, Sara."

"I forgave you a long time ago, Gil. I just wanted to know why you said no, just no, that day. You never even thought about it."

"You picked probably the worst possible moment to ask me out. I'd been having more and more problems hearing after the lab explosion. I was debating with myself about calling my doctor to schedule the surgery for my hearing when you came in. All I could think about at that moment was what if the surgery failed?"

"I wish you had told me what you were going through. I would have been there for you."

"I know, honey. I ignored it too long, hoping it would just go away. I didn't want anyone to know. That way if the surgery didn't work, I planned to leave the hospital and just disappear."

"No goodbyes? How very Grissom of you! Ever think we wanted to help, be there for you?"

"Honestly? No, not really but it wasn't just that. It would have hurt too much to see my team knowing I would never hear your voices again or that I couldn't work with all of you. Thank God the surgery worked and I didn't have to leave. I hoped everything would be like before.........until the night you kissed me." Grissom kissed her gently at first but each kiss got deeper. "Sara, you do complete me. Your love turned my existence into a life. The dream I gave up years ago to have a home and a family is becoming a reality. I love you so much, honey."

"I love you too, Gil." He kissed her several more times as the fireworks display came to a grand finale. Sara tried to turn further in his arms but was unable to get any closer to her husband. The cast iron patio lounge chair arms and the growing bump in her middle restricted her movements. She broke the kiss and struggled to get up and then reached for Grissom's hand.

"Let's finish welcoming the New Year some place a little more comfortable."

"You've been reading my mind again, Sara. I was just going to make that suggestion."

"Oh good! A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste."

* * *

As a scientist Grissom knew that life meant change, nothing static can survive whether in the insect or human species. However, as a man quickly approaching 50, he realized that he hated change and that most changes were a pain in the ass. Grissom did not like the new Sheriff Rory Atwater and he had a strong suspicion the feeling was mutual. He was also not terribly impressed with the Under Sheriff, Jeff McKean. Grissom had recently worked on a case for him, trying to refute evidence that would exonerate the man that had raped and nearly killed his neice. Jeff was very grateful and thanked Grissom and his team for all their efforts...........though why Jeff felt he owed him anything personally still baffled him.

The previous night, Grissom's shift had ended very late. He had barely gotten to sleep when he got a call that due to a mix-up, he had to appear in court that morning. Getting no sleep he was used to but having to shave, get dressed up and be in court so early was unfair. He frowned in the mirror as he shaved. This was all Ecklie's fault! The man continued to be a thorn in his side. Flexing his muscles as the lab's new director, Ecklie's new dress code made it mandatory for all CSI to be clean-shaven. Grissom had worn a beard and mustache off and on for nearly fifteen years. The truth be told, washing, combing and trimming his facial hair was almost as much trouble as shaving. Also Sara preferred him clean-shaven. He just hated that he no longer had a choice in the matter. However, he was grateful that same rule made Nick and Mike shave off the ugly mustaches they had recently sprouted. As Grissom finished the last stroke on his neck, a sleepy Sara waddled into the bathroom and kissed his newly shaved cheek.

She mumbled something that was either a good morning or a threat of bodily injury if he had used up all the hot water. She slipped off her robe and stepped into the shower. Grissom had to admit some changes were good. He was a married man and soon expecting a baby, a son. The once rail thin Sara Sidle looked as if she has swallowed a bowling ball now that she was just over six months pregnant. Grissom would have been supremely happy if he wasn't so concerned about his wife. Despite a special diet and her doctor's monitoring, Sara was having problems with gestational diabetes. Her blood sugar was being monitored daily and she was now on medication. Sara had also been forced to cut back on both work and school hours for more bed rest. She was following all these new restrictions with very a very un-Sara-like patience. She claimed it was her penance for getting caught fooling around with the boss.

Grissom returned to the bathroom minutes later fully dressed, using the bright lights of the bathroom mirror to try to fix his tie. Today was not going to be a good day if the trouble he was having with the tie was any indication. He tried for the third time to get his tie to look even. As he struggled, he remembered that after court today he also had a meeting with the Sheriff and Ecklie. So far in the New Year, he had managed to avoid both of them for the most part. However, he wanted to discuss the upcoming series of lectures he was scheduled to give in Canada. The forensics symposium had been planned more than a year ago. Grissom had been looking forward to racing his hissing beetles against Canada's finest. He also had hoped that Sara would feel up to joining him, sort of a second honeymoon. But with Sara so sick, he did not want to go or to be so far away from her for a day, let alone ten days. He hoped to convince the Sheriff to let someone else take his place for once.

Grissom felt that Catherine could handle the presentations. In addition, she needed to learn how to represent the Las Vegas Lab to the international science community. He had watched her progress as a supervisor with great satisfaction. With a grin, he remembered her as a smart night student at a UNLV seminar. Since then she had more than fulfilled the promise he saw in her nearly 13 years ago. So had Nick, Warrick, John, Mike, Greg and most especially Sara. The people he trained, the men and women he once thought would be his only legacy, until junior. Now Grissom just had to convince Sheriff Atwater and Conrad Ecklie that Catherine was ready. Perhaps he should discuss the plan with Catherine first. Maybe she didn't want tobe away from her daughter for ten days just now. Catherine said that Lindsey had not taken the news that Sam Braun was her grandfather very well, then he was killed just a few weeks later.

Grissom peered though the frosted glass of the shower door as Sara began to hum and then sing in the shower. It still amazed him how easily she could make him forget everything that had been his life for the last 30 years: bugs, forensics and the Las Vegas Crime Lab. At this moment all he wanted to do was skip court, postpone his meeting and climb into the shower with her. Rescuing him from that impossible decision, Sara shut off the water and slid the shower door open and felt around for a towel. Grissom opened a large bath sheet for her and reluctantly wrapped it around her as she stepped out.

"Thank you! You'd better hurry or you'll be late for court."

"How are you feeling? If you're not feeling well Sara, I can call Warrick. He knows the evidence as well as I do. He can testify solo if necessary.

"Gilbert Edward Grissom, I can't believe I just heard those words coming from your mouth."

He really hated it when Sara used his full name. He always felt like a naughty little boy who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "You both have been working on this case over a year. Do you want to risk an acquittal just to play hooky from court?"

"I didn't say I was skipping court. I asked how you were feeling. My work is a job. You are more important to me than any job, Sara."

"Nice try, counselor. That was pretty slick. Almost made me stop questioning your lack of motivation, remind me why I love you so much and made me seriously consider letting you get away with that little song and dance. Are you sure you never got your law degree?"

He kissed her gently but quickly expanded the kiss pulling her as close as he could these days. He started to reach for the wrapped folds of her towel but Sara slapped his hand.

"Oh no, you don't! You are so busted, mister. Warrick will be here any minute." Almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth, the apartment doorbell rang. "Saved by the bell! Now go be one the foremost forensics experts in the country."

Grissom had the good grace to blush as she fixed his tie. "Yes, M'am! Do I look OK?"

"You'll do. I'll see you at the lab later."

"Sara, if you don't feel up to it, it's OK to skip work. It's not like we need the money."

"You worry too much, Gil.

"I love you, Sara Sidle Grissom!

Sara could feel herself weakening. All she wanted to do was let him carry her back to bed and stay there all day. However, she had missed classes twice in the last few weeks. Her professor was one of Grissom's former students and an expectant father. He allowed her to make up an exam and had given her extra time for a paper. "I'm fine so far, really! If I don't feel well later, I'll skip work.....and I promise I'll call you. Good luck today."

With a final kiss Grissom reluctantly walked out of the bathroom to answer the doorbell.


	25. Chapter 25

Court had taken much longer than Grissom anticipated. The attorney for the defense was very young and he made countless perfunctory objections during Warrick's testimony. So by the time he took the stand, the attorney's tactics backfired. The judge was so fed up with all the endless delays and she overruled all his objections. The jury deliberated less than an hour and returned a guilty verdict on all counts of rape and sexual assault. Grissom had planned on taking Warrick for lunch to celebrate the conviction but had to ask for a rain check. He wanted to get back to the lab and talk to Catherine before his meeting with the Sheriff and Ecklie. Instead, he got stuck in a huge traffic jam on the way back to the lab and arrived with only minutes to spare before the meeting was to start.

"Hey, Gil! How was court?"

"Long! I have a meeting with the Sheriff and Ecklie now but I needed to run something quickly by you first."

"What about the case, Gil?"

"We got convictions across the board. Samuels is going away for 30 to 40 years."

Catherine pumped her arm in celebration. "YES! So what did you want to see me about?"

"Actually, I have a favor to ask."

"I am not doing your case review again, Grissom, so save your breath."

"No, it's not that! In fact, if you'll do this for me.......I'll do your next case review."

"Must be some favor. Who do I have to kill?"

"Very funny, Catherine! It's nothing like that. I am supposed to go to Canada for a conference at the end of this month. Sara hasn't been feeling well and I don't want to be that far away from her just now. I was hoping I could say that you offered to take my place."

"I'd like to help but I know nothing about bugs. That's your thing."

"The conference is about blood and DNA evidence. The presentation is all done. All you have to do is read the information that goes with a video presentation. After all Catherine, you are our resident blood spatter expert."

"Hold the whipped cream, Gil. I'm on a diet. Let me think. Lindsey's school vacation is next week. She wants me to take her to Reno to go skiing. We leave on Saturday,which is February 17th and should be back by Wednesday or Thursday at the latest, if we don't start fighting before that. Yeah, I think it's doable."

"It's for nine days, Friday February 23rd to Saturday March 3rd. You won't get back until very late the following Saturday or early Sunday. Will Lindsey be OK with your Mother?

"If she is at school during the week, it should be OK. Besides, after spending that much time together, I think we'll need some time apart. Sure Gil, I'll do it! Sounds like fun!"

"Thanks, Cath! I've got to go clear it with the Sheriff now. If he agrees, I'll drop off the lecture materials tomorrow so you can review it. We can go over the information and any questions you might have. Is that OK?"

"I get to travel a week on Ecklie's dime and get out of my next case review. Oh yeah, life is good! Good luck, hope the Sheriff says yes. See you later."

Grissom walked to the meeting feeling more confident, one obstacle down and one to go.

"Nice of you to join us, Grissom! This meeting was for 3PM."

Grissom ignored Ecklie and spoke directly to the Sheriff. "Sorry but I just got in from court. We got a conviction on the Samuels case. Guilty on all counts, 30 to 40 years."

"Nice work, Grissom!"

"Thank you, Sheriff but it was a team effort."

"Yes and you are the team leader, it all flows down from the top. Conrad and I were just discussing future plans to create a new position here at the lab, a permanent trainer for new CSI agents. Gil you have the teaching background, the forensic knowledge and the field experience that makes you the ideal candidate."

Never missing an opportunity to highlight Grissom's weaknesses, Ecklie chimed in. "Also you are a good twenty years older than most of the other CSI agents. You refuse to carry a gun, even though you qualify to carry one every year. That alone has endangered members of your team in the past. Frankly, with your lack of administrative skills, hearing problems and your age, it would be safer for everyone if you only teach in the future."

Grissom's eyes bored into Ecklie. "To my knowledge there are no age restrictions for CSI. If you'll remember Conrad, I gave you my doctor's certification that my hearing meets the department's standards. As to carrying a gun, it is not mandatory. At least one person on any team I send out is armed and I never claimed to be a good paper pusher." He turned back to the Sheriff. "However, I am interested in learning more about the new trainer position, once more guidelines are in place. I have several questions. The most important is exactly how much input would I have on the proposed training program and schedule?"

"None! That would be strictly under my control." Ecklie bristled.

"Actually Conrad, that has not been decided. It makes sense that if Grissom will be teaching the material, he should have some input on what is being taught. Let me kick this around some more. This is just in the planning stages and I'll get back to you, Gil."

The Sheriff got up to go. "Sheriff, I have one other matter, if you have a moment?"

"Sure, Gil! Problem?"

"No not a problem, an opportunity! I am scheduled to attend the Northwest Territories Forensic Symposium, later this month. I think it would be good for the lab and great experience for Catherine to go in my place. She is our resident expert on blood spatter."

"This wouldn't have anything to do with the problems your wife is having with her pregnancy? We have bent over backwards to accommodate Sara. Now you are asking for us to make special arrangements for you too? This is getting ridiculous!" Ecklie feigned exasperation.

"This has nothing to do with Sara. I want to make the change for the reasons I outlined. Catherine can do it! She has volunteered to go and it would good experience for her to represent this lab to the international science community. Sheriff, as Conrad points out, none of us is getting any younger. I won't always be here to make every presentation."

The Sheriff tried to hide his smile when he realized Ecklie had fallen into Grissom's trap.

"I don't have a problem with that, Gil. As long as Willows can handle the presentations and the question and answer sessions that follow."

"Thank you, Sheriff. I have already asked Catherine to review the presentation. We will cover any information that might come up in the Q & A. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some paperwork I need to catch up on. I've been working almost exclusively to prepare the Samuels trial for the last three weeks."

"Send my thanks to your team for a job well done."

"I will."

Grissom backed out of the office amused to see Ecklie's anger about to boil over. With a smile, he turned and walked quickly down the hall to his office. Judy was sorting mail as she walked down the hall, turning the corner she walked directly into Grissom. She barely stifled a scream as she realized who she had collided with. His arms reached out automatically to steady Judy but the mail and folders she was carrying went flying in several different directions.

"Judy, I'm so sorry! Are you OK? I'll get those." He reached down to retrieve all the folders and mail she dropped. She stammered a thank you and extended her hand to get all the information back but trying not to get too close. Grissom handed her only the folders. "Let me take care of these for you, Judy. Are you sure you're OK?" When she nodded Grissom patted her cheek and walked away sorting the outgoing and interoffice mail.

Judy raised a hand to the cheek he patted. In the past she would have run screaming to the ladies room to scrub up. Now she was shocked to realize she was blushing. He seemed so different now.....and when he smiled. Suddenly she realized what she was doing, or not doing. Judy looked around to verify no one saw her blushing and walked quickly back to her cubicle.

Once the mail was disposed of, Grissom walked past the lab and was pleased to see Sara at her usual station. His hand was on the door to enter the lab when Ecklie called out.

"Grissom! I would appreciate a little more notice when you reschedule my personnel for your convenience."

"What did I do this time to piss you off, Ecklie? I got the conviction on Samuels. I am training Archie and the new girl Robyn. All my reports and evaluations are up to date."

"Catherine is on vacation next week, then will be in Canada for you for ten days after that."

"And your point is?"

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with Nick as acting supervisor for three weeks."

"Conrad didn't you just recommend Nick to take my place if the trainer position goes through? Both Nick and Warrick are more than ready to be supervisors."

"Stokes maybe but Brown never. Not while I'm in charge. He got Holly Gribbs shot and he is a compulsive gambler."

"That is ancient history, Ecklie. That one mistake he made was over five years ago. I don't think the Sheriff would be pleased if we are accused of discrimination in our promotions."

"This has nothing to do with his being black. He is just not ready."

"In your opinion! Well, we'll see, Ecklie. I have requested that Warrick take over for me when I take my family leave. I am taking six weeks off when Sara has our baby. You can make all the recommendations you want about Warrick but the Sheriff has the final say."

"Yes he does and you'd do well to remember that."

As Ecklie walked away Grissom realized his earlier good mood was gone. All he wanted to do right now was punch something or someone.

"Hey! What was that all about?" Sara had watched the conversation from inside the lab. She couldn't hear what was said but she knew that her husband was angry.

"It's Ecklie again or perhaps I should say still. I swear Sara, if you looked up the definition of asshole in the dictionary, you'd see his picture."

"Yes, you would. What I don't understand is why you let him get to you. He is a joke. The only way he got where he is now is by kissing a lot of asses.......democrat and republican. Try to ignore him, Gil. He is not worth getting a headache over."

"Yeah, I know!" Grissom could actually feel his pulse rate drop. "Thank you, honey. How are you doing?"

"Fine, we are both fine. I heard you got Samuels in court today."

Letting go of his anger, Grissom smiled at his wife. "Yes, we did!"

"You are the best! Now go crash on the couch in your office, don't bother driving back to the apartment. See if you can sneak a nap or tonight will be one very long night." Grissom looked up and down the hall made sure no one was looking and quickly kissed Sara. "Dr. Grissom, I am so shocked! You know Ecklie's rules. No public displays of affection."

"You gonna rat me out the big cheese?"

"Nah but I will want sexual favors later."

"Deal!"

With another quick glance down the hallways, he kissed Sara again and walked away. His good mood restored, Grissom finally reached his office. As tired as he was, he could not walk past the assignment board without checking to see if there were calls waiting to be assigned. He was surprised but pleased to see that the board was clear. Grissom unlocked and entered his office. After he dropped his briefcase and laptop computer on the desk, he relocked the door, fed his bugs, checked his online calendar quickly and then scanned the mail on his desk. He read and signed several reports until he started to yawn. A short time later Grissom finally settled on the couch and within minutes was asleep. The low hum of activity in the lab, like white noise, not only did not disturb him, it lulled him into sleep.

* * *

Much later, Judy was finally finished for the day. As she walked to get her coat, she saw a young man with a envelop wandering the halls. "Can I help you?"

"I have a delivery for a Dr. Grissom. Can you point me in the right direction?"

"I sign for all packages. You aren't supposed to be in here at all, this is a secure area." She buzzed him into the main reception area and reached for his envelope.

"No one said anything to me." He did not allow Judy to see or even touch the envelope. "Sorry Miss, this is marked personal and confidential. I will need him to sign for it."

Unaware that Grissom was asleep on the couch in his office. She assumed he had gone home after his meeting with the Sheriff. Judy knew he usually arrived early for his night shift. "He is not available just now but he will be in later tonight."

"Then I'll come back later. Thank you, Miss."

"But?" As suddenly as he was there, the young man was gone. Judy shrugged her shoulders and promptly forgot about the tall, blond man and his envelope.

Later that night, Mike and John arrived at the lab to drop off evidence from an earlier crime scene. John handed the collection bags he was holding to Mike. "I'll let you take them to the lab, so you can check on Sara."

"Hey, I am worried about her, so sue me! You try going to lunch and find someone you.....who is a friend passed out on the break room floor. That scared the hell out of me!"

"I don't know who was more upset that day, you or Grissom. Try to remember, she is his wife and that's his baby." John often teased Mike about his crush on Sara but sometimes like now, the joke had more truth than tease.

"Yah, Yah! I still don't understand why HE is allowing her to still be working........"

"I don't think HE has any say in the matter. This is Sara we are talking about. You tell her she can't do something and......"

"She'll do it or at least try to. I know, I know. I wish she'd hurry up and have that baby."

John was going to remind him that there was still about three months to go but changed his mind.

Mike gestured with his head to a coffee shop across the street from the Crime Lab. "That guy is back again. That's like the third or fourth time I've seen him sitting there this week. The man must love the coffee over there, otherwise that front window is the perfect spot to watch everyone come in and go out of this building."

"Must be your FBI training, Mike. Always assuming everyone is up to something. Come on let's go."

"Maybe we should go check him out. Want some coffee?"

"Why should I pay for coffee over there, when I get it for free in here?"

Mike said nothing but pouted until John laughed and gave in. "OK but let's drop that stuff off first. You want another lecture on the chain of custody?"

By the time they returned to the lab entrance, the coffee shop window was empty. "See, no one is watching us. I told you, the guy probably works around here and was on his coffee break."

"Every time I've seen him it was a different time of day. He was there yesterday when I got in at 3. I also saw him the other day around 6:30 when I went out to get my lunch at the deli and he was there earlier in the week around midnight when I was leaving. What time is it now?"

"About 7:15."

"Who gets four coffee breaks a day? I'm going to go over and talk to the manager. See if he remembers the tall, skinny, blond kid always sitting at the window. For all I know that could have been Ian Fitzgerald."

"You think he is stalking you? Paranoid much? Sorry my man, you are on your own. I want my lunch. Are you coming or not, Mike?"

"Yeah, OK! I am just worried for Sara. Think I should say something to Grissom?"

"Hell, no! He's worried enough about her and being away at that conference later this month. At least the Samuels Case is finally closed. I wonder who he will take with him to Canada?"

"If he takes anyone, it will probably be Catherine. She is the lab's blood spatter guru."

"I would love the chance to go with him. I've never seen his racing beetles. They say he has five or six Madagascar Hissing Beetles, man those thing can almost fly."

"You know, I think you've been hanging around him way too much. You're getting as weird as he is about bugs."

"I'll take that as a compliment. Hey! I'm toying with the idea of getting my masters in entomology."

"Another Grissom? God help us all! Just keep your bugs out of my lunch, let's go." As they returned from lunch, Mike and John saw Grissom as he opened his office door. "Hey Grissom, you're in early. Something up? Need a hand?"

"I just took Sara home. She fell asleep at her lab station again. I came in early to help out. The Samuels case put almost everything else on the back burner."

"Trying to get caught up before you leave for Canada? Just about two weeks, right?"

"You can stop trying to butter me up guys. Catherine is going this time not me. So if you want to go with her, you better start charming her now. She is on vacation next week." With a grin he watched the two young men as they quickly retreated in search of their supervisor. He'd call Catherine later, let her know she now had two slaves for the next week.


	26. Chapter 26

With Catherine away on vacation, Grissom continued to come in a little early each day to finish up her open cases. He was working with Nick on the last one. They were in the garage cutting off the first layer of a car condom. The car and its very dead driver had been found mostly buried in the dessert. A pilot who had to make an emergency landing in the middle of nowhere, spotted the rusted wreck. Special care was needed to unearth and transport the car to the CSI garage. Grissom was looking over the vehicle and its passenger, trying to figure out the best way to separate one from the other. One mistake and they would have nothing left to process but a large pile of orange and grey dust. Ecklie had been hovering most of the late afternoon. He claimed that there was no case, no evidence of any crime. Nick confirmed a short time later that all four tires had been slashed, also that the driver's hands had been glued to the steering wheel so he could not escape.

As Ecklie finally left in exasperation, Warrick came in. "Hey, Griss! Catherine is on line three, she sounds upset."

"She probably had a fight with Lindsey." He stripped off his gloves as he walked to his office. "Hey Cath! How's the skiing? Whoa......slow down. What happened? How bad?" He listened for a few minutes and jotted down some notes. "Catherine, it will be OK. Tell them not to operate on your daughter, that you want a second opinion. I'll send a medical helicopter to get you both. Don't worry about that now. Let's get you and Lindsey home first. I know it's hard but try to stay calm. I'll see you in about an hour."

Warrick waited at the office door. "What happened? Is Catherine OK? What can I do?"

Grissom held up his hand to stop the questions. He was already on another call to Dr. William Morgan at Desert Palms Hospital. "Bill? Hi! It's Gil Grissom. I need your help. Catherine's daughter broke her ankle skiing in Reno. She was told it's a bad break and will need surgery. Catherine didn't want Lindsey treated in Reno." He listened for a moment. "I've already told her that. Where can I rent a helicopter to go get them? Are you sure? I don't want to get you in any trouble. OK, I can be there in 10 or 15 minutes. Thank you, Bill."

"What's up?"

"Lindsey's right ankle is broken in several places. Catherine didn't like or trust the doctors in Reno. Also she didn't want to be stuck up there for days or weeks if the surgery was done up there. I'm going to fly up with Bill Morgan and bring them both back to Vegas, to Desert Palms. I just saw Greg come in. I'll take him with me so he can drive Catherine's car back to Vegas. Warrick, can you tell Nick to leave the car that we were working on covered for now? Hopefully we will get back to it later tonight. Have Greg meet me at my van in 5 minutes." Grissom began to remove his coveralls as he spoke. "I should be back before my shift starts tonight but if I'm late…"

"NIck and I will be here until you get back. No worries."

"Thanks, Rick. Now that she has lost Eddie and Sam, Catherine has no one to help her."

"She has all of us, Griss! Go and be there with her. If I can do anything, let me know."

"I'll make sure she knows that we all will be there for her and Lindsey. I've got to let the Sheriff and Conrad know and then meet Bill at Desert Palms."

* * *

Grissom smiled as he watched Greg's reaction to his first helicopter ride, even if it was just a short ride to Reno. Dr. William Morgan, Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders got out of the helicopter almost as it touched down at the Reno Medical Center. Dr. Chen, who was Dr. Morgan's counterpart at the hospital, met them. The doctors quickly disappeared to consult on the case. After checking several locations, Grissom located Catherine as she paced outside the Trauma Unit. She was pale and it was obvious she had been crying.

"Catherine, how is Lindsey?"

"Gil!" She ran into his arms. "We were all packed, ready to go. Lindsey wanted to use the last ride on her lift ticket. I took my eyes off her for one minute and some jackass smashed into her and they both went pin wheeling down the slope. He was drunk, of course there is not a scratch on him but Lindsey's ankle is a mess. I should have decked the stupid son of bitch." She took a step towards a young man peacefully sleeping it off on a gurney nearby.

"Catherine, it was an accident! Lindsey will be OK. Bill Morgan is with her doctor right now. A Desert Palms helicopter is on the roof. We'll have her back home before it's dark."

Catherine nodded but stayed in his arms until the doctors arrived minutes later. "Hello Catherine. I've looked over the X-rays. It is a bad break but we have one of the best orthopedic teams at DP. The faster we get Lindsey into the OR the better. We need to go now if that's OK with you?"

At her nod of approval a flurry of activity began. The doctors prepared for the transfer of their patient and all her medical records and films.

"Catherine, give your car keys to Greg. He'll check you out and drive your car home."

"I'm all checked out and the luggage is in the car, level one, space 24. Thanks Greg." Greg turned to go but Grissom stopped him. "Greg, be careful. Keep it under 60, please!"

With all that was on his mind at the moment, Greg was stunned but pleased that Grissom was concerned about him driving too fast back to Vegas and possibly getting hurt. "Yes, Sir."

After Greg left, they entered the Trauma Unit and walked to Lindsey's bed. Catherine fussed with her daughter's hair and the blanket. She is unsure what to say, not wanting to frighten or upset her. Grissom winced when he saw the girl's foot was badly swollen and discolored.

"Hi, Uncle Gil!" He was surprised. Lindsey suddenly seemed so young, small and scared. He knew she was nearly 15 but he couldn't remember the last time she'd called him that.

"Hey, Lindsey! You get to ride home in a helicopter. How cool is that?" He leaned down to kiss her.

"Hi, baby! I'm taking you home to Vegas. Dr. Morgan has a team of specialists waiting at Desert Palms to fix your ankle good as new."

"I'm scared."

"I know, sweetie but I'll be with you all the way. I'll make sure you get the very best until you're all better."

"Will it hurt a lot?" Tears filled her daughters eyes, Catherine couldn't speak but her eyes implored Grissom to answer.

"The doctors are coming right now, Lindsey. They'll fix your ankle so it won't move or hurt. You will probably be sound asleep by the time we get to Vegas. When you wake up, you'll have a cast all your friends can sign. So just take it easy, hold on to your mom's hand, OK?

"OK, Uncle Gil!"

A little more than an hour later Lindsey was in surgery at Desert Palms. Catherine was pacing in the waiting room outside the post-op ward. Grissom had given up asking her to sit down. He used the time to call Sara and Warrick to update them. They were still waiting for news on Lindsey's surgery more than two hours later when Sara arrived. Grissom hurried over to hug her. "How's Lindsey?"

"Sara, what are you doing here? You should be home resting. Did you drive here?"

"Don't worry, Gil. Mike drove me. I brought some decent coffee and sandwiches. I know you both skipped lunch and I remember just how bad the food is at this hospital. Mike has the rest of the food, he wouldn't let me carry it."

Grissom walked Sara over to the chairs as Mike arrived. "Lindsey is still in surgery. Maybe you can get Catherine to eat something. I can't even get her to sit down." Sara handed him a coffee and got one for Catherine. Sara stood directly in front of Catherine, which forced her to stop pacing.

"Hey! I brought some of Greg's high-test coffee. This will taste better than the hospital crap." She pointed to a cup of coffee now stone cold that Grissom bought her over an hour ago. "Want to split a sandwich with me? You probably haven't eaten anything since breakfast and once Lindsey is out of surgery it will be too late to get anything."

Catherine nodded, sat down and took the half sandwich Sara handed her and began to eat but her eyes never left the doorway to the post-op ward. Grissom was surprised but pleased to see Catherine sitting and eating. His own stomach rumbled loudly to remind him that he had skipped lunch and never gotten around to dinner. Taking a sandwich, he gestured for Mike to join them but he shook his head and indicated he'd return to the lab, since Sara would be staying at the hospital with Grissom and Catherine.

Sara handed Catherine another half of a sandwich, which she consumed automatically. However, as soon as she was finished eating it she was back up and began to pace again. "What is taking so damned long? Something must be wrong? I've got to find out!"

Grissom intercepted Catherine before she entered the hallway behind the closed doors. "Catherine, I know how hard it is to wait but that's all we can do right now."

Catherine started to cry as Grissom gently led her back to the seat she just vacated. Sara passed her a napkin. All three sit side-by-side holding hands. Almost another hour passed before Dr. Morgan entered the waiting room. Catherine was up instantly. "What's wrong? Why did it take so long? Is Lindsey OK?"

"Catherine, the damage was much worse than the films indicated. We basically had to reconstruct her ankle with plates, pins and screws. I know that sounds really bad but Lindsey is very young and healthy. If there are no complications, in time the ankle will heal completely. She is in recovery now. You can go sit beside her if you want to."

Catherine hugged him and all but ran down the hallway. Bill Morgan walked over to Grissom as he removed the surgical mask from his neck and the cap from his hair.

"Thanks Bill, for coming to speak to Catherine. I know you must be exhausted."

"I was only assisting. Dr. Newport did most of the hard work. The man is a genius. I am very glad that Catherine didn't have the surgery done in Reno. Gil, I didn't want to scare Catherine but today's surgery was only the first step. Lindsey will need other procedures as the bones start to heal and a series of casts for at least three to six months. Then she'll need another three to six months to rehab that ankle."

"Lindsey is Catherine's daughter. She is strong and we will all be here to help her, help them both." Sara got up and slowly walked over to Dr. Morgan and Grissom, she had a cup of coffee in her hand. "I'm sorry Bill, would you like some coffee or a sandwich?"

"No thanks, I've got to get home before my wife divorces me. She is probably holding dinner for me. Sara? My God it is you! I almost didn't recognize you. It's so good to see you again." He hugged her gently.

Sara stepped back into Grissom's arms. "Hi, Dr. Morgan!"

"I would ask how you are but I think that would qualify as a stupid question. When are you due?"

Sara slipped her hand into Grissom's and they answered in unison. "May 10th!"

Bill Morgan saw the wedding rings on their joined hands. He had known Grissom since they both started in Vegas more than 13 years before. They had worked together on several cases during those years. Bill was married and had two kids. He always figured Grissom was married to his career. He was pleased to know he had a very small part in bringing Sara back to Gil when she was hurt the previous year. He was very happy that they were together. "Congratulations to both of you. Catherine will probably want to stay with Lindsey all night. So you both should go home and get some sleep."

"I have to be at the lab soon but I will drop Sara at home first. Good night Bill and thank you again."

Dr. Morgan left as Sara picked up the remains of their dinner. "I should go back to the lab too but I really want to stay here to be with Catherine."

"Sara you need to get some rest. You look so tired, sweetheart. Let's go home."

"I need to put in my 25 hours or you'll have to listen to Ecklie again."

"Screw him! I should have punched out the stupid son of a bitch when I had the chance."

Sara knew Grissom was worried about Lindsey and Catherine but most of all, about her. She could feel the tension in his arms as he hugged her, also he rarely swore and never in front of her. "Hey, tough guy! What happened to the shy, quiet, science geek I fell in love with?"

"He's right here with the puzzled old man who still can't believe you married him."

Grissom was occasionally surprised to see desire for him in Sara's eyes but just now he could not believe the adoration on her face as she stretched up to kiss him. "Take me home, my handsome old man. I know you will be back here before you go to the lab tonight but for right now you are mine. All mine!"

"God, I love you, Sara!" All his other thoughts were subjugated by the need to hold her, make love to her. Grissom's fear that something might happen to her was a constant concern, because he knew he could never go back to what his life had been before Sara.

Silently they walked to his Denali holding hands. On the short drive home, Grissom suddenly realized the huge ripple effect from Lindsey's accident. Catherine could not go to Canada for him! He would not even think of asking her to leave her daughter. Grissom would not allow her to go even if she insisted. She would need to be with her daughter every day for the next few weeks. His plan to stay home, to stay near Sara was gone. He would have to leave for Canada in two days. There was simply no one else he could or would ask to go in his place now. It was also much too late to find another keynote speaker or to postpone the conference.

Automatically Grissom's mind began a checklist of things he had to do. First, he would need to go to Catherine's to retrieve the presentation materials. Then he had to stop by the townhouse to check on the progress of the renovations and to answer any questions the contractor's had before he left. Next, he would have to check in at the lab and pick up his plane tickets and hotel voucher. Finally and most importantly, he had to make arrangements with Warrick, Nick, Greg, Mike and John, so that Sara would never be alone anytime while he was gone. The memory of finding his wife passed out on the break room floor still made his heart skip a beat.

Nick would take over for Catherine as planned for the swing shift. Like it or not, Ecklie would have to let Warrick take over supervising the night shift. With both supervisors out, each shift would be short a body. Grissom's shift as usual had all the trainees, so Warrick and Greg would already be pulling double duty. Maybe he would ask Brass if he could borrow back Sophia from PD for a week? Grissom was still adding things to his mental checklist as he pulled into the apartment house garage. He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts, that he had not said one word to Sara on the entire ride home. Turning to apologize to her, he saw that Sara was sound asleep.


	27. Chapter 27

Once parked in the apartment's assigned space, Grissom walked around to open Sara's door and released her seat belt. When he shifted her into his arms, Sara automatically put her arms around his neck and snuggled against him. He carried his sleeping beauty to the elevator. Luckily their temporary apartment building had recently changed to computer card access, so he no longer had to fumble with keys. He simply waived his tenant card in front of the reader and continued on into the elevator and then into the apartment. However, when Grissom tried to deposit Sara onto their bed, she would not let go of him. Kneeling beside their bed, he tried to gently free himself.

"I've always hated snow." Sara whispered softly to him and snuggled into his neck. "It's so white, cold and sterile. When I went to college at MIT, everyone always got so excited about the first snowfall. All I could think about was how the white covered everything, wiping out any signs of life or color. Gil, please be careful in Canada. NO SKIING!"

"I promise, Sara. No skiing, no snowboarding, not even a snow angel. I'm sorry, I hoped you could come with me but Dr. Lynch said it wasn't a good idea. Honey, I don't want to go at all but I can't ask Catherine to go for me now. You have to promise me that you'll be good while I'm gone, eat and take all your pills. No extra hours at school or the lab. I know you'll want to help out Catherine but please make sure you get lots of rest. If you do need anything while I'm gone let Rick, Nick, Mike, John or Greg know, please?"

"I'll be good once you're gone." Sara kissed him. "But until then......not a chance."

Their lovemaking was more intense than usual. Both of them needed to look, touch, feel and kiss their fill. Grissom and Sara had rarely been apart for more than ten hours in the last seven months, ten days seemed like forever to them both. Grissom woke a few hours later and was surprised to find it was nearly 11PM. He had planned to stop by the hospital before the start of his shift. After showering and dressing in record time, he allowed himself just a minute to watch Sara sleep before he slipped silently from their apartment. Even with a quick check on Lindsey and Catherine at the hospital, he was at the lab just before midnight.

"Rick, I am so sorry for being late. Thank you for coming in early and helping Nick."

"No big thing. How's Lindsey?"

"Sleeping peacefully, she still hasn't come out of the anesthesia."

"How's Catherine?"

"Tired, scared, angry and guilty. She thinks somehow this whole thing is her fault."

"Why?"

"She wasn't watching her, when Lindsey got hurt."

"Lindsey is 15. She's not a baby anymore."

"Try explaining that to Catherine."

"Let me head over to the hospital. I'll bring Cath something to eat. See if I can get her to go home and get some rest, at least until Lindsey wakes up."

"Good luck, Rick!"

Grissom changed into his coveralls and went into the garage. He was surprised to see Nick still there. He was working with Greg on the car with the mummy. They stopped at the last layer of car condom waiting for him.

"Hey, Griss! How are Lindsey and Catherine?"

"Lindsey needed more surgery than they originally anticipated but Bill said it went well. They were both sleeping when I checked on them less than an hour ago. Catherine will need to stay with Lindsey. I've already updated the schedule giving her the next two weeks off as family leave. Nick, you'll continue as swing shift supervisor and in a case of incredibly bad timing, I have to leave tomorrow for ten days to Canada. Catherine was supposed to go for me. Rick will be taking over for me as acting night supervisor. Greg, I'll need you to help him out with Archie and Robyn while I'm gone. I wanted to take you with me to Canada but we are so short staffed right now, I can't. I am very sorry! OK guys, we have one night, let's see if we can clear up our mystery mummy before I have to go. Archie and Robin are still going through the videos on the smash and grab."

Greg had to turn away. He was thrilled that Grissom was going to ask him to go to the conference in Canada and that he trusted him enough to help with the new trainees. Swallowing his disappointment that he would not get to go to the conference, Greg was determined to live up to the Grissom's expectations. He knew that most likely the mummified body would be a dead end but Greg would try everything that he had been taught to find out who he was and what happened to him.

Once the mummy was free from the car, he was soon resting on a table in the morgue. Grissom asked to speak to Nick in his office. "Nick, thanks for your help tonight but you need to go home. Rick should be back soon. I will have to leave tomorrow afternoon and you need to be in shape to take over for Catherine. I know you and Rick will be there for her and Lindsey if she needs anything but I have another favor to ask you. I am worried about Sara. She hasn't been feeling well and she tries to tough it out......"

"Sara is strong as hell! She thinks you worry way too much."

"Nick, I found her passed out on the break room floor a few weeks ago. I need you to keep this between us. Please don't let Sara know I told you. She is on diabetes medication now and had to cut down her hours at the lab and school. She's exhausted almost every day. I've driven her home two or three times in the last few weeks when she fell asleep at her lab station. I asked Catherine to go to Canada for me so I could stay home to be near her."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. I'll watch over her until you get back, we all will, so don't worry."

"I've alerted Brass that both swing and night shifts are down people. So if you need Sophia, just ask him. In case I don't see you tomorrow, thanks for your help, Nick. Goodnight. Well actually, goodbye!"

"Relax Grissom, Rick and I will handle things. See you in a couple of weeks."

Later, Greg was in the locker room as he changed after shift. He was running through any options he might have missed to identify mummy man. Lost in thought he did not hear Grissom come in.

"Greg, do you have a minute before you go?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"Will you keep an eye on Sara while I'm gone, but please don't let her know."

"Trust me, I do not want to get on Sara's bad side. I'll bet she could still kick my butt."

"I seriously doubt that and that is part of the problem. Sara has convinced herself and everyone else that nothing has changed but she is not superwoman. The pregnancy has made her ill and very tired. That's why she cut her lab hours. She said it was for school but she has actually been going to the doctors every few days. Greg, she has gestational diabetes. Sara has fallen asleep at her lab station and passed out in the break room. That's why I won't let her drive. She really shouldn't be working or going to school but I can't tie her in bed every day. Can you make sure she eats and rests while I'm away? I know you Archie, Mike and John have been driving her to and from school and the lab. I just wanted to pass on my thanks to all you for your help. I also wanted to ask you for another favor, Greg. When Lindsey wakes up she'll be scared. You had to deal with your fractured leg last year. Will you talk to her? Please let her know what to expect and that she will get better. I remember you thought you'd never heal, but you did."

"Sure I'll do anything to help Sara, Lindsey or Catherine."

"I'm not sure I'll make it in tomorrow at all, so I wanted a chance to say goodbye now and thank you again for all your help. I am glad you are on the team, Greg."

"Have a good time with your bugs in Canada, see you in two weeks. Everything will be fine here."

Grissom stayed a little late to update Ecklie on the mummified remains and the one case still pending court. Ecklie was not happy that the Sheriff agreed that Warrick would be acting night supervisor. He wanted Sophia to fill-in but she was on a stakeout and would not be free for a few days. Grissom picked up his airline tickets and hotel confirmation for the convention. He was not happy to see his flight was at 5pm. He had hoped for a later flight, wanting to spend most of the day with Sara. For right now he had to drive to the hospital to check on Lindsey and Catherine and then try to get some sleep or at least a nap.

Arriving at the hospital, Grissom was stunned to see Catherine in Warrick's arms. The pair were sitting on the couch in the waiting room. Uncomfortable with the implications, he was going to leave. Then Grissom noticed that Catherine was crying and Warrick looked upset, his heart lurched. Bill promised to call him if something happened to Lindsey, slowly he approached the pair. If Lindsey was just sleeping, why was Catherine not with her and why was she crying?

"Catherine, what's wrong?"

Exhausted and close to her breaking point Catherine flung herself into his arms. "Lindsey's so sick, the doctors kicked me out."

Before he could clarify anything, a nurse came into the room. "Mrs. Willows, you can go back in now. Your daughter is feeling much better." Catherine quickly pulled away from Grissom and rushed down the hall.

"Rick, what the hell happened?"

"I swung back here after the 419. Lindsey was just starting to wake up. She had a bad reaction to the anesthesia and has been sick as a dog since. The doctors have been with her for the last hour or so."

"Poor kid! Did Cath get any more sleep?" Warrick just shook his head no. "Let me check with Lindsey's doctors. Now that she is feeling better, they will move her out of the post-op ward. I'll make sure there is a bed or a comfortable chair for Catherine."

"Thanks, boss!"

"Rick, I'm going to have to leave later today for the conference. My plane is at 5pm unless I can make some changes. You will be taking over as night supervisor. I hate to dump this on you since you will already have the two trainees and will be short one person. I know you'll be there for Catherine and Lindsey I have but……I have another favor to ask."

"Sara?"

"Yes! Would you keep an eye on her for me? She will want to help Catherine, try to go to classes and work in the lab. It's too much, she can't do all that."

"She seems fine to me. You have been really overprotective. Why? What's wrong?"

"Gestational diabetes! Sara gets weak, and then starts to shake or passes out when her blood sugar drops. She has fallen asleep at the lab a few times and passed out in the break room a few weeks ago. I've asked her to stop working but she would only agree to cut back her hours at school and the lab. That's why I won't let her drive by herself. I don't want to go to this thing in Canada, which is why Catherine was scheduled to go for me. Now it's too late to cancel out of the conference or find a replacement."

Warrick never realized just how much Grissom handled everyday, not just the job but being there for Sara, everyone on his CSI team and the rest of the lab staff. "Hey Griss, don't worry. I'll watch out for her, for all of them. Go have some fun in Canada. You can use a break. I'll have one of the guys bring Sara to and from school and let her visit with Catherine and Lindsey. No lab at all, I promise."

"If you can do that Rick, you are a miracle worker. Thanks! I'll owe you one."

"Nah! I still owe you a hundred. No worries man. Go home be with Sara today. See you at the end of next week. Good luck with your bugs. Tell them, no stage fright this time."

Grissom laughed for the first time in days as he remembered the first time Warrick took over as acting supervisor. "Tell Catherine, I'll be back later on the way to the airport."

Grissom pulled into the apartment house garage and was surprised and then concerned to see Sara waiting by the elevator. "Sara?"

"Hi, Gilbert! I waited for you to come home. Figured you went straight to the hospital after shift. I just called a taxi to take me to take me there. How's Lindsey?"

Grissom saw her taxi arrive. He got out and gave the driver a tip and an apology since the cab wouldn't be needed. Sara waited as he parked his van for an explanation. "Sara, we'll go to the hospital later. Lindsey didn't have a very good night. She had a bad reaction to the anesthesia and is still in recovery. Catherine is a basket case. I don't think either of them are really up for company right now. I wish I could get out of this stupid conference. The timing of this whole trip just sucks."

As they returned to their apartment, Sara tried to lighten his mood. "I laid out your things for the trip. I had your heavier suits delivered from the cleaners. I wasn't sure how many presentations you will have to do. I laid out five shirts and ties."

"Sara you need to rest more. I've been packing for myself for forty years."

"Sorry, I thought I was being helpful. I forgot you don't need any help on anything from anyone."

"Sara stop, please! The last thing I want to do right now is fight with anyone, especially you! I am tired, frustrated, angry.......and afraid." Grissom walked over to the bar and poured some bourbon into a glass. "I'm sorry, Sara! I tried everything I could to stay home. I feel like I'm deserting you when you need me most. I don't want to go to Canada." He sipped his drink lost in his thoughts for several minutes. "Sara do you know the old song "Bad Moon Rising"?"

Sara nodded but said nothing. She was both confused and worried. Grissom rarely drank hard liquor and never the first thing in the morning.

"I feel like a bad moon is rising. It's not just Lindsey and the accident. I'm worried about Sophia on that drug stakeout. Mostly I'm worried about you and Andrew. I've never held any strong opinions or belief in psychics or premonitions......but Sara, I don't just think, I know, something very bad will happen if I leave you today. Just ask me to stay and I'll call Ecklie, tell him that he'll just have to find someone else to go or he can go himself."

Sara was surprised to see real fear in her husband's eyes and resolve that he would not go if she asked. Sara knew just telling him that she would be fine was not going to convince him. "Now who is being overly emotional? At least I have an excuse, hormones!" He smiled but the fear was still in his eyes. "I realize that you are older and wiser, Dr. Grissom. However, I would like to remind you that I have been taking care of myself for over 20 years. Yes, I am pregnant and it hasn't been a piece of cake but I know what I need to do for myself. Also, If by some remote chance there is a problem, I am five minutes away from my doctor and a hospital. You will only be gone for 10 days and I have no doubt you asked all of the guys to watch me like a hawk. I will be OK, I promise. We both will be fine until you come home. Just please take care of you, because I love you, Gil Grissom." Sara came into his arms and kissed him gently, then more passionately. "You need some sleep."

"No, I need to hold you Sara."

"Let's go to bed, you can do both at the same time."

He left the unfinished drink on the bar and together they walked to the bedroom.

A few hours later Grissom woke up with a cry. "No!"

Sara rolled over to put a hand on chest. Her husband was covered in sweat and his heart was racing under her hand. His hand instantly covered hers but it was ice cold. "Gil, it was just a dream, a bad dream. I am OK......want to tell me about it?"

"No! Sara, please promise me you won't try to drive alone until I get back."

Sara knew instantly that his nightmare was about her being hurt or killed in a car crash. "Gil, I can't fit behind the wheel of my car anymore. The Mercedes is too low for me to get out of without help and I need a ladder to get into the Denali without you, so sure no problem, I promise! Hey, how about a shower. I'd like one and you sure could use one. I don't want to ask one of the guys to scrub my back."

Grissom knew that Sara was trying to lighten his mood, help him shake off the horrible images from his dream. "Damn right, that's my job. I bought you a new back brush to use until I get back."

"Well you're not gone yet so get your ass out of that bed, Mister and do your job."


	28. Chapter 28

Later that afternoon, Grissom carried his bags down to the Denali and waited to help Sara in. She was rattling off a list to make sure he had packed what he would need. The list seemed endless. "Sara, I'm sure I packed everything. If I forgot anything, I'll buy it there. We need to go now or I won't have any time to spend with Catherine or Lindsey when we get to the hospital." He closed her door and than got in.

"Your racing beetles?"

"Oh, damn!" He started to get out but Sara giggled and passed him the racing beetles in their special travel tube.

"Thank you, sweetheart!"

"You're welcome, dear." She sat back with a smug grin.

"We will be meeting Warrick and John at the hospital. I'm loaning John the Denali. That used hunk of junk he bought last year finally died. He offered to be your driver while I'm away.....so if you need to do anything or to go anywhere he will drive you."

They arrived minutes later at the hospital. As soon as they entered Lindsey's room, she pointed to Catherine who was sound asleep in a chair. Sara handed Lindsey a small gift bag with a hug.

"Thanks, you guys. Mom crashed about a half hour ago."

"Are you feeling better? I stopped by earlier today but you weren't up to seeing any visitors, Linds."

"Much better. OH WOW! An IPOD, Thank you, thank you! Now I can listen to some decent tunes. The music here is horrible, everything is ancient, from the 70's and 80's."

"It's open because Greg already downloaded about two hundred songs to get you started." Sara pointed to a large stuffed teddy bear. "Hey Lindsey, who is your furry friend?"

"Isn't he cute? Mike and Nick have already been by, they gave him to me. Warrick and John said they would come by before their shift."

"I know, Lindsey. John has to drive me to the airport. I came to say goodbye. I'll be gone for a couple of weeks, so feel better and take it easy on your Mom. For me……Please??? He leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"OK, Uncle Gil! Bring me back a polar bear?" She giggled, which woke up Catherine.

"Hey, Gil!" She yawned and stretched. "Hi, Sara."

"Sorry Catherine, I didn't mean to wake you."

"That's OK. Sara, can I borrow Gil for a minute?"

"Sure but I want him back." Catherine literally dragged Grissom out of the room.

"Gil, I'm really sorry I had to cancel out on you for the trip to Canada at the last minute. You never ask me for any favors and the one time you do.....I know how worried you are about Sara and I promised to go to Canada for you."

Grissom covered Catherine's mouth with his hand. "Will you stop, please? Catherine, it was an accident! You need to be here with your daughter. I know and I understand. Lindsey seems to be feeling much better. "

"They have her on so much pain meds, I'm surprised she hasn't floated away."

"I put you down for two weeks of emergency family leave but I don't want you to spend the whole time in that chair. Take care of you and Lindsey and I'll see you when I get back. Oh, can you keep an eye on the guys for me, be available by phone if they need any help."

"I'll keep an eye on Sara too, don't worry." Catherine hugged and kissed Grissom. "Thank you, Gil. You are always there for me."

Sara walked out the door as Catherine returned to Lindsey's room. "Thanks Cath, it's my turn. I'd like a few minutes alone with Gil."

"Sure, Sara!" Catherine closed the door to give them some privacy. "I thought I was going to the airport with you today, Gil?"

"You can't, Sara. If I see you, I won't be able to get on the plane. I'm leaving as soon as John gets here. I really hate goodbyes. So, please stay here with Catherine and Lindsey."

"Do I at least have time to wish that you have a good trip? Try to relax and have a little fun, Gil."

"You do. Sara, please take care of you.....and Andrew. I'm not sure how good the phone service will be in Yellowknife but I will try to call you when I get in."

"You take care of you too, please." Sara pulled Grissom into a kiss, which he deepened immediately.

They continued to kiss as Warrick and John arrived. The two men waited for a minute but both soon realized the pair were oblivious to everything around them. They entered the hospital room together, Warrick stepped forward to give a potted rose plant to Lindsey.

"Hey, brat! How are you doing?" He leaned over to give her a kiss on the cheek. He stepped back to let John give Lindsey his gift and moved towards Catherine. "How are you?" He hugged her tightly.

"I'm better now. Thanks for last night. I'm worried about Gil.....I was supposed to go."

"Yeah, he told me. It's pretty intense out in that hallway."

"First time they will really be apart......all this tension and worry isn't good for Sara."

"I know." Rick checked his watch, "John, you better get Griss to the airport or he'll miss his plane."

"I don't want to disturb them."

"OK! I'll do the dirty work." Warrick opened the door but the pair were still locked in an embrace. Rick cleared his throat loudly with no reaction. Warrick called out loudly, "Griss" but was ignored. Finally he tapped Grissom's shoulder and repeated, "Griss! Sorry man, it's time for you to go."

Slowly the pair pulled away from each other as John stepped out into the hallway.

"I'll call you tonight. I've got to go now or I won't leave…." Grissom caressed Sara's face. "Come on John, let's go. I love you, Sara! I'll call you."

Tears slowly trickled down Sara's face as he walked away. Warrick reached over and wiped them away. "No tears, he'll be back in no time. Come on let's go see Lindsey."

Grissom and John walked in silence to the hospital garage, his boss handed him the keys to the van. John had worked for Grissom nearly a year. He knew his boss was not much of a small talker but he had never experienced such stony silence before. When they got to the airport, Grissom got out but did not move to get his bags. He seemed lost in his thoughts. John opened the back door to get the luggage but Grissom stopped him and shook his hand. "I'm not sure if I ever said it but I'm glad that you and Mike stayed in Vegas and joined our team. Goodbye!" Grissom grabbed his bags then set off at a brisk pace and was quickly out of sight.

John got back into the Denali and noticed a small case resting in the center console. Opening it, he realized the case held Grissom's racing beetles. He quickly locked the van and began to run after his boss. John was soon arguing with security to let him get the case to his boss, when the chief of security arrived.

"The plane is gone son, it's taxing out right now. Whatever that is, just send it to your boss by overnight mail. Oh and if that's your Denali in the drop off area, you are about to get towed." John had to run back to the Denali before security could tow Grissom's van away. As he was waiting in traffic to exit the airport, he opened the case and examined the hissing beetles more closely. "I can't put you guys in the mail. Grissom is going to be mad, now he won't be able to compete." After admiring them, he slowly closed the case and placedit back into the center console. That action made him stop. John distinctly remembered Grissom had opened the case when he first got into the van. He had deliberately put the case down, got out and took the rest of his luggage. Why did he leave them behind?

John had grown up on a reservation near Taos, New Mexico. A memory from his childhood came into his mind. His father had told him that sometimes the elderly members of the tribe still followed the old traditions. When ill, very old or they felt death was near, they would leave behind all the things they loved or valued. Then they walked into the dessert alone to meet death. John recalled Grissom's face as he left the van, grim and determined. John shook his head. No it was not possible! He just forgot to take the bug case, that's all. The idea that he would forget anything, especially bugs continued to concern him. However, driving back to the hospital John remembered Grissom's last words to him and could not shake the feeling that leaving the bugs behind was a bad omen.

He drove back to the hospital to pick up Sara but said nothing about what happened or about his concerns. After spending an hour or two at the hospital with Catherine and Lindsey, John dropped Sara back at the apartment. She was tired but resisted going into the bedroom. Sara did not want to be constantly reminded that she would be sleeping alone for the next 10 days. Cuddling up on the couch, she turned on the TV but was soon asleep, until the phone woke her up. "Hello?"

"Hello, Mrs. Grissom."

"Gil? Why are you calling? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, sweetheart! I said I call you when I got in. Did I wake you up, Sara?"

"It's OK, I kind of crashed on the couch."

"I'm sorry, honey."

"I'm not. So you won't worry......I am taking my pills and making dinner as we speak. So how is the hotel?"

"It's not exactly the Wynn but not bad for the middle of nowhere. There is this big sign in the lobby, "Host of the 2008 Artic Games."

"Artic? Just where the hell are you in Canada?"

"Northwestern Territories, near the Alaskan border."

"Alaska? How cold is it?"

"It's a little nippy today. It's 20 degrees."

"Twenty degrees? I should have packed some long johns for you."

"I don't own any, Sara." Grissom chuckled, "Don't worry, honey. The hotel is a balmy 60 degrees. I am fine. How are you?"

"I am fine, junior too. I left the hospital....OH WOW, over four hours ago. I slept longer than I thought. Lindsey and Catherine are OK. Warrick actually got Cath to go home, at least long enough for a shower."

"What, Sara? I didn't hear that. You are breaking up? Sorry, the phone service here stinks, no landlines. If I loose you, I'll call again tomorrow. I love you and miss you, Sara."

"I love you to, Gil. Gil?" The line was dead. After finishing her solitary meal Sara got out her books for class. "Might as well get something accomplished today."

* * *

Grissom made the best use of his time away at the conference. He spent a long time on stage during his lecture, the question and answer period or in discussion groups with other CSI and police personnel from Canada. When the day's activities were over, he went alone to his room and struggled to reach Sara by phone.

Sara missed him. She filled her days by having breakfast with Greg, John or Mike before they drove her to classes or to the hospital and then back to the apartment. Grissom had the best luck reaching Sara by phone later in the evening around ten o'clock. They quickly settled into a routine that he called at her bedtime. They talked to minimize the distance but also so they could try to drift into sleep alone. Grissom was amazed that after living most of his life alone, just how much he missed Sara. It was not just about sex or holding her in bed. He missed her presence, her smell, the sound of her voice, not just the tone of her voice but they way Sara would sing to herself as she did dishes or the laundry, the way she rubbed his neck and shoulders as they watched TV and she always remembered his favorite snacks at the store. Most of all, he missed just cuddling up on the couch as they read, he missed the warm weight of her body next to his.

Later in the week Grissom tried to place his usual call to Sara several times without success. An ice storm had totally stopped the already sketchy phone service. The next day, when he could finally get a signal and got through to the apartment, there was no answer. He tried several more times, both the apartment and then Sara's cell phone but he got no answer. His concern rapidly escalated into panic. Grissom tried to cancel his few remaining lectures, to take the first plane home. However, the storm had temporarily shut down the airport as well. In desperation, he called Warrick at the Vegas Lab.

"CSI Brown."

"Warrick? It's Grissom, can you hear me?"

"Griss? Man, you are breaking up bad! Are you calling to check up me?"

"Hell no! I've tried to call her all day but I can't reach Sara. She is not answering at the apartment or on her cell. Have you heard from her? Is there anything wrong?"

"My fault! I turned off both phones when I put her bed a few hours ago. She spent nearly all day at the hospital."

"Hospital? Is she OK? Did something happen to her or the baby?"

"NO! Sorry about that, Sara is fine! Don't worry, Lindsey is much better. Actually, she is scheduled to go home at the end of the week. Sara was with John. He was in an accident."

"What kind of accident? How badly was he hurt?"

"Nothing serious, a sore neck and back, some cuts and bruises but he will be OK. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you but your Denali is pretty banged up."

"I don't give a shit about the damned van, Rick. What happened?"

"Hit and run. Some jerk plowed into John. The Denali spun around and hit a wall not far from the lab. The guy that hit John got out and ran. Just left the truck where it was but the vehicle was no help in finding him. The truck he was driving was stolen from a construction site. We found no prints, no hairs, and no fibers. I checked with the police, the truck was reported stolen the first thing that morning and all the company workers were on the job during the crash. John was driving back to the lab after he picked up Sara at UNLV and dropped her off at the hospital. He swung by the lab to check on some lab results and got hit."

"But Sara is OK? She wasn't in the Denali?"

"Sara is fine. She spent the afternoon with John at the hospital. I took her home after we got something to eat. She took all her medication and she was sound asleep before I left your place, so I shut off the phones. They are keeping John overnight for observation."

"What the hell is going on Rick? First Lindsey, now John! I told Sara there is bad moon rising. Tell everyone to be extra careful. Do you need me to come home early?"

"No, we're good, it's been busy but not crazy. A lot of ABC cases, we can handle it. You'll be leaving Yellowknife Saturday night anyway. Hey, how's the weather? Sara said it was pretty cold. Seen any polar bears? Lindsey wanted me to ask you."

"Not cold, it's freezing but no polar bears. We had an ice storm yesterday and today is only about ten degrees. So everything is now a sheet of ice."

"Sounds like fun."

"Oh, yeah! I can't wait to get the hell out of here. Hey Rick, thank you for keeping an eye on Sara. I should be back sometime on Sunday, so you can give John a couple of days off. He'll be sore as hell for a few days."

"Already done! I'll see you Sunday. You can buy brunch. Bye, Griss!"

"Yah, I definitely owe you. Thank you Warrick, Goodbye!


	29. Chapter 29

Grissom's concern steadily grew the more he thought about all the accidents lately. Yet somehow he still felt that something else very bad was about to happen. He promised himself that this was the last time he would ever let the job take him away from Sara again. He was a family man now or soon would be. He automatically reached for the phone wanting......needing to hear her voice but then he remembered that she was sleeping. He closed his eyes and could picture her cuddled against his pillow, her body growing fuller everyday with their son. A loud knock at his hotel room door broke into Grissom's thoughts of Sara and his concern about the events in Vegas. He opened the door was stunned to see the face of an old friend.

"MAC?

"That's Captain Angus MacDonald, if you please.

Excuse me, Captain! Don't tell me you came all this way to attend one of my forensics lectures."

"Yah, picture that! I had enough of your creepy crawly things in college and your boring lectures. I came here to see you, you idiot. Sorry, I just got here. I had a tough case back home and getting here was a bitch. It's been way too long, Gil. So, how have you been?"

"I'm good, Mac......Well get in here, don't stand in the doorway. It's been six, no almost seven years. You look good. How are you? After.....you left California, you never returned my calls. I thought I'd give you some time and space. Then you never called me back, I thought.....you know, just let it go, too many bad memories about what happened."

"You were there when I needed you most and I never thanked you. I'm so sorry Gil, after the funeral I just needed time to heal and to figure out how to be a single dad. When I was ready, I felt bad that so much time had passed since I'd called you. Every time someone talked about bugs, I promised myself that I would call you.......but I never did. Well, I figured I owed you a face to face apology and I also have a gift. I have a picture of your goddaughter." He pulled a photo from his pocket. "Meet Claire Allison MacDonald, this is her first grade school photo."

"She is beautiful, Mac. Not a baby anymore. She looks so much like Ally, I'm sorry, Mac!"

"No, it's OK. She does look like her mother, acts like her too, queen of her domain. She has me wrapped around her little finger. It still hurts when I think about what happened when she was born but most of the times I'm way too busy trying to keep up with her to dwell on it. She is a handful, like her mother was."

"Who is taking care of her right now, you're mom?"

"Mom and Jennifer…she is…we meet…Oh hell, we just got engaged."

"Mac, I am so happy for you. Congratulations! So catch me up. You moved to Fairbanks? Tell me everything, how did you meet Jennifer? What is she like? Does Claire like her?"

They got comforable and caught up. "It was the strangest thing, Gil. Jen was Claire's first grade teacher. We started off at each other's throats. I thought she was cranky and just plain mean. She thought Claire was a spoiled little brat. I never thought I could or ever would ever care for someone again. I loved Ally. Still miss her but I think she would have wanted her daughter to have a mom."

"And she wouldn't want you to live the rest of your life alone, Mac."

"Yeah........and speaking of alone, just when the hell are you going to finally settle down?"

Grissom laughed. "Well my friend, have I got news for you! I also have a picture to show you. This is my wife, Sara."

"Hold on, San Francisco Sara? I thought you said she was way too young for you. You told me you broke it off with her, left her and San Francisco behind for good."

"That was my plan. The first thing I did when I became the night supervisor in Vegas was to offer Sara a job on my team. Then.....well let's say Sara wore me down and wouldn't take no for an answer. Still it took her almost five years and almost loosing her to make me realize I couldn't live without her in my life." He passed Mac his wedding photo.

"Good for her. God, Gil! You said she was pretty but she is a knockout. Have you lost your mind man? Why in the hell would you walk away from her in the first place? For a genius, you can be really dumb sometimes. And then after you left her, she chased you and married an old geezer like you? Why did you run and what the hell took you so long to finally grab her?"

"I haven't a clue to any or all of those questions, Mac. I have never been happier in my life and I've never been more scared in my life.......Sara is pregnant and it's like Ally all over again. She has been so sick the whole time and so tired. She has gestational diabetes. It's one of the few fights we've had. I wanted her to quit......Sara cut back on work and school but she passed out at the lab a few weeks ago. I have all my guys watching her, especially this week."

"Congratulations Gil! No offense but what the hell are you doing here? Your place is with Sara. You need to get your head out of that microscope, pal. Ever hear of video conferencing?" Grissom was walking to return Sara's picture to his briefcase but stopped in mid-stride and began to shake his head. "Sorry Gil, I didn't mean to insult you and I am sure Sara is fine. Remember what happened with Ally was an anomaly. Happens only once in three millions births. If she was in a hospital, they might have saved her from bleeding to death. She was the one that insisted on a home birth."

"Mac, when Sara told me about the baby, I was stunned. This pregnancy wasn't exactly planned. I thought I was too old to start a family but I guess I was wrong. It took almost fifty years but I'm married and my wife is pregnant." He put down Sara's picture with a smile. "We recently found out the baby is a boy, we are having a son. I couldn't believe it, I still can't! Not only am I finally going to have a family but I get to carry on the Grissom family name. I want Andrew, that's the name we picked out. I want him so much, more than I ever realized. But if it ever came down to a choice between Sara or the baby, I wouldn't even have to think about it. I'd terminate the pregnancy in a heartbeat. I can't loose her......Oh God Mac, I am so sorry!"

"No I understand, Gil, probably better than most people. I learned the hard way it is in God's hands. I'll say lots of prayers that everything will turn out for Sara and Andrew. Now come on, let's go down to this hotel's pathetic excuse for a bar and get a drink."

"Absolutely! We need to celebrate renewing our friendship. Sara and our marriage, Claire and your engagement but mostly my son!"

* * *

Very early the next morning Grissom knocked on Mac's hotel room door.

"Gil, what's up? Damn, it's not even 9AM! You're on vacation, man. What ever it is, it can wait a few more hours. I'm still a little hung over. I need more sleep. I'll see you later for brunch or better yet, lunch."

"No you won't, I won't be here. May I remind you I am not on vacation! I got up to deliver my last lecture to an almost empty conference room. My last lecture was cancelled, I came to say goodbye."

"Goodbye? Hey time out, I'm not awake yet. What the hell are talking about?"

"There is another ice storm forecast for later tonight. The airport closed for a day after the last storm. So a lot of people have already left or are leaving early today so they don't get stuck here, including me. I'm heading out to the airport now to see what arrangements I can make to get the hell out of here. That is if I can get a taxi and make it to the airport."

"OK, now I get it! Let me get dressed and I'll drive you to the airport. I have a land rover. I'll get you there. Get me coffee and lots of it. I'll meet you in the lobby in ten minutes."

They arrived at the airport in less than an hour. Grissom was quickly able to change his flights and checked his luggage. "I was lucky usually they only have two flights a day but because of the conference they have a few more flights. I have to fly to Fairbanks but I was able to get a direct flight from there to Las Vegas. Too bad your stuff is still at the hotel. We could have flown home together."

"I don't think I can fit my land rover in the overhead bin."

"Smartass! Thanks for the ride and getting me here so fast because my first flight is just about to leave. It's a airbus and it's about half full but it's only a short flight, just over an hour. So with any luck I should be home to Sara by dinner time."

"God, you really are a married man now. I still can't believe that you aren't staying for the roach races." They both laughed. "Gil, it was really great to see you again. I really want to stay in touch. Call me, I want to know that everything is OK with Sara and Andrew."

"I will, Mac but you'll probably be able to hear me shouting and cheering all the way up to Fairbanks when Andrew is born somewhere around May 10th. That's my flight! Sorry we didn't have more time to talk but it was really good to see you again. Kiss Claire for me!"

"Will do!" Grissom put out his hand to say goodbye but was pulled into a fierce hug. "I'll be praying for your wife and son......and you too."

"Thanks, don't know if it will help but I guess it couldn't hurt. Bye, Mac."

Grissom turned and walked quickly away. Mac stayed at the gate until he saw his friend board the plane. As the plane pulled away a few snow flakes began to drift down. Mac walked away and went back to his jeep still smiling. Even the thought of fifty miles of slippery roads back to the hotel didn't wipe the smile from his face.

* * *

Captain Angus MacDonald stormed into the director's office at the conference later that afternoon.

"It's been three hours. Are there any updates?"

"Not since the first report. The plane dropped off the radar just as it crossed over the Alaskan border and all attempts to reach them by radio have failed."

"Did it crash?"

"I don't know! We are waiting word. I've called the Canadian Air & Sea Rescue. It could be just a radar glitch. The ice storm came on a lot faster than they anticipated. Maybe the pilot tried to go around the storm or drop below it and that's why the plane is not on radar. Or the plane could have had a build up of ice on the wings. The pilots may have had to land at a civilian airstrip or ditch. Let's not jump to conclusions."

"There are over 70 men on that plane! Almost all of them are from this conference. One of them is best mind in a forensics for this or any other generation. Gil Grissom also happens to be my best friend. Now get on that phone, I want answers. Call the Canadian rescue authorities. I'll call my boss in Fairbanks. He has some friends in the US Air Force. I want a hell of a lot more information before I scare everyone in all those families for no good reason."

* * *

In Las Vegas, Warrick stayed after his shift from Friday night to clean up all the paperwork that covered Grissom's desk after a rather hectic week. He had just finished and was about to leave but the open doorway was suddenly filled with the Sheriff and Jim Brass.

"Sheriff! Jim? What are you guys doing here on a Saturday morning? Urgent case?"

"Brown, there is no easy way to say this. I have just been in contact with the Canadian Coast Guard. A plane carrying 70 people from the forensics convention dropped off radar this morning and Grissom was on the plane."

"What?" Warrick stood up fast which knocked over the chair he had been sitting in. His eyes turned to Brass hoping for some sign this was a sick joke or some kind of a misunderstanding but Jim just looked dazed. Warrick turned to look at the Sheriff. "Have they located the plane? Is there any chance of survivors?"

"They don't know the status of the plane, the crew or the passengers as yet. It could have landed at a civilian airstrip to wait out an ice storm. It may have ditched because of ice on the wings or it has a dead radio but yes, it could have crashed. I was told the plane just dropped off radar at 11AM Pacific Time this morning and there's been no contact since."

"But Search & Rescue is looking for it, right?"

"They can't as yet. The ice storm has everything grounded."

"For how long?"

"Look Brown, I know you want answers but I don't have them. I just wanted you to be aware of the situation." After a brief discussion, they all agreed that until they had more information, it would be cruel and perhaps unwise to tell Sara anything because of her condition. Jim Brass volunteered to call Sara. They agreed he would tell her that another ice storm had delayed Grissom's departure and that phone service was also out in the area again.

* * *

The badly damaged plane rested on a frozen lake surrounded by miles and miles of ice and snow.

The blackness slowly gave way and two things were instantly clear to Gil Grissom once he was fully conscious. One, he had to be alive because he was in way too much pain to be dead. And two, death was all around him. Working so long in forensics the smell of death was familiar and sensing it had become second nature to him. Trying to move, an intense pain in his shoulder made him gasp. Grissom wasn't sure but his right shoulder felt broken and maybe some of his ribs too. Both the injuries and his current location, wedged between the seat top and the overhead compartment, were making attempts at breathing very difficult. He tried to gently slide off the seat, to take the pressure off his ribs. Instantly Grissom's back, hips and knees sent him more pain in protest.

"Don't try to move son, at least until I've checked you over. I'm Martin Dale. Don't worry, I'm a doctor. Where are you hurting?"

"Right shoulder, ribs, back, hips and knees but other than that, I'm fine."

Grissom's dry comments earned a chuckle from the elderly doctor. "That shoulder is dislocated. I can try to pop it back in but it will hurt like hell."

"It couldn't hurt worse than it does right now. Every breath I take is a new experience in pain. Do it!" The doctor carefully positioned himself and gave a sharp hard tug to the arm as he pushed the shoulder bone back into place. "OWWW SHIT! Hell of a chair side manner you got there, Doc."

"I'll use one of these silly airline blankets to make a sling. Try not to move too much, it could pop back out. This pillow will also give you some protection for those ribs. They aren't broken just bruised as hell." The doctor finished with Grissom's injuries and helped him sit. "For the rest of the pains in your back, knees and hip, I suggest bourbon or scotch. I've already raided the beverage cart." He handed Grissom a nip of bourbon. "This will warm you and take the edge of the pain. They say any landing you can walk away from is a good one, but I wouldn't suggest a constitutional."

"Thanks Doc! I'm Gil Grissom, by the way. How can I help?"

You were at the conference, are you a doctor by any chance?"

"Yeah, but the wrong kind. I'm a forensic entomologist."

"Well, I'm a pathologist and medical school was a hell of a long time ago for me. Never got any training in trauma care, so we'll just have to do the best we can and make do with what we have. There is no other choice."

"I'm sure help is on the way, Doc. I guess the best thing to do first is to figure out who needs help and what help they need."

"I've already checked up front. Everyone that was in the first ten rows is dead. Pilots must be dead, the cockpit is flooded and some of the water leaked into the front galley but now it's turning to ice."

"Then we'll need to move the dead forward. The ice will keep them cold, cut down on the smell and hopefully keep any animals away."

"I'd say that animals are the least of our problems. We landed or at least ended up in the middle of a frozen lake. The front wheel of the plane broke through some thin ice near the center. Too much weight upfront and we could sink, Gil."

Grissom was startled to hear his first name come so easily from the doctor's mouth, yet somehow it didn't feel wrong. The man seemed very familiar but Grissom was sure they had never met before. Suddenly he remembered Dr. Burns, the pathologist who took a very green former teacher under his wing and helped create a CSI when he first came to Vegas. "OK Martin, we can move anybody who needs medical attention to the back of the plane just in case we have to get out fast. As you check them over, I'll get someone to help me, because we need to gather any overhead luggage and get everyone to put on layers of clothes for warmth. I can't get a signal on my cell phone and we can't get into the cockpit to use the radio. First, we'll check all the other phones and then the galley for any usable food and water. Since they can't even begin to look for us until this storm is over, it may take them a day or two to find us."

The two men exchanged a glance. They both knew the storm had most likely covered the entire plane in snow and ice. The chances of them being spotted from the air were slim to none. Grissom quickly checked the rest of their fellow passengers phones with no success and then took inventory of all the food and water. When all the injured were taken care of, Grissom returned to his seat stretching out across three seats to get as comfortable as he could. There was little more any of them could do for now, at least until the ice storm was over.


	30. Chapter 30

By late Sunday afternoon the ice storm had finally passed from the area of the crash. As expected, the plane was totally covered in ice and snow, blending in perfectly with everything all around it. Grissom soaked a few airline blankets with water that leaked into the front galley from the flooded cockpit. Unable to do it himself because of his shoulder, the doctor threw the wet blankets onto the snow from the back emergency door. Martin joked that the blankets, which were useless for any kind of warmth, would at least give them a better shot at being located by any rescue helicopters. The dark navy blankets stood out boldly against the blinding white around them. Grissom helped the doctor shut the back door quickly trying to keep what little heat they had inside the plane but also to ward off panic. That and time were the enemies now. They had enough food and water for maybe about five days. After that.......Grissom refused to let himself to finish that thought. He tried very hard to concentrate just on survival in his current situation, not dwelling on his wife or son. He refused to think that he would never see Sara again or live to see his son born.

* * *

Sheriff Atwater met with Brass and Warrick in his office early on Sunday morning. "The plane has officially been declared missing. All civilian landing strips confirmed that no planes landed. Search and Rescue teams have completed an initial search, they checked for a few miles in all directions from the point that the plane last appeared on radar but they found nothing. As the storm pulls away from the area, the search grid will be expanded in 5-mile increments. To be thorough they said search could take five or six days. At this point, we will need to let Grissom's wife know what has happened. Better she hears it from us, before the media gets the story and she sees it on TV. I'd like you to come with me when I tell her."

"I don't think she'll want to see me. I lied to her yesterday. Warrick should go and maybe Catherine." Jim Brass sat down as he spoke, as if suddenly too tired to stand anymore. He was torn between wanting to be there for Sara and facing her, especially if the worst happened. Gil had been there for him when he hung between life and death after a shooting. Jim wanted to return the favor but there was damn little he could do to help Grissom now.

"No! Nick should come with us. He is Sara's best friend. Then I'll need to tell Catherine, Greg, Mike and John." Warrick stood up as if bracing for a fight.

"OK! I will let the rest of the staff know the situation after Sara is told. I don't want any information leaked to the press. Any official statements will come from my office."

Warrick stopped by to pick up Nick and to let him know about the plane crash. Nick took the news better than Rick had, he always thought of Grissom as indestructible. His concern was for Sara and the baby. He knew that she would be frantic until they had any news that Grissom was OK. They drove over to the apartment in silence. Sara answered the door and was happy but surprised when she saw Nick and Warrick. The Sheriff waited by the elevator, he agreed to let Nick break the news to her.

"Hey guys, this is a surprise! I was hoping you might be Gil. Please don't tell me he is still stuck in Yellowknife? Do you want something to eat, I'm just scrambling some eggs?"

"Sara, come on now, let's sit down." Nick led her to the couch as the Sheriff walked through the door. All the color drained from Sara's face as she saw Rory Atwater.

"What's wrong? Oh God, it's Gil! He's not delayed. Is he hurt? How bad? Nick...........please don't tell me he's......."

"We don't know yet, Sara. There was an ice storm. His plane is missing.....they think the pilot had to ditch. They are looking but haven't found him yet.......but they will!"

Sara sat still for a minute. "What should I do? What can I do to help find him? Who do I call?"

"Mrs. Grissom, I want to assure you everything that can be done is already being done. The Canadian authorities are working with Air Sea Rescue and the Coast Guard. They started searching as soon as the ice storm passed." The Sheriff was surprised at how calm she was, how focused. Ecklie's described Sara as a loose cannon, he expected hysterics and panic.

"How long have you known, Warrick?"

"The Canadian authorities called the Sheriff around noon yesterday."

"You lied to me yesterday, you and Jim."

"I really thought they would find him by now, Sara. I was worried about you because of....."

Sara got up and rubbed her swollen stomach gently. "Excuse me please, I think my eggs are burning."

She walked to the stove and shut off the eggs. Sara threw the pan and its blacked contents into the sink as tears slowly started to fall. "No, Please! You can't do this to me Grissom. You promised you would never leave me..........OH God! I can't loose you." With a cry of sudden pain, Sara dropped to her knees and covered her abdomen with both arms.

Nick and Warrick ran into the kitchen area. "Sara, are you OK? Do you need me to call your doctor?" They helped her to the couch as the Sheriff called for an ambulance.

"I'm having pains.......it's too early. If I have lost Gil, I can't loose Andrew too."

"Sara, it's just the shock! You'll be OK, Andrew too. I'll tell your doctor to meet us at the hospital."

Less than five minute later there was a knock on the door. Paramedics quickly checked on Sara's condition and moved her to a stretcher for transport to the hospital. For all three men, it had been the longest five minutes of their lives.

"You go with her, Nick. I'll drop off the Sheriff, let Brass know what's going on and then meet you at the hospital. I have to let Catherine and the others know about Grissom.....and Sara."

Warrick quickly dropped the Sheriff back at his office. He waited while the Sheriff checked in with the Coast Guard for any updates. Warrick desperately wanted some good news to give Sara but there was no new information at all. He stopped by to let Brass know that Sara had to be taken to the hospital and that she might have gone into early labor. As Warrick drove over to Catherine's house, he tried to push away the thought that Grissom was gone. Rick had lost his parents when he was very young and had been raised by his grandmother, who was also gone now. He couldn't loose the only man he'd ever thought of as a father, he loved Grissom! Warrick was upset that he had never told Grissom how important he was to him.

After telling Catherine and the others, Warrick would have to drive back to the hospital to check on Sara. He couldn't help but think about all the time he had spent at Desert Palms Hospital recently. The last time he'd spent so much time there was when he was first dating his wife, Tina. First came Lindsey, then John and now Sara! At least Lindsey was finally home and Catherine would be coming back to work. John said he was feeling better and his doctor tentatively scheduled him to be released from the hospital over the weekend but it would be a few more days before he could come back to work.

As Warrick arrived at Catherine's house he glanced at his watch. It was barely noon on Sunday. He wondered if maybe he should have called her first. Warrick got out and knocked lightly on the door but was surprised when it was opened immediately.

"Hey,Warrick! What are you doing up this early on a Sunday? I was going to call you later. Come on in, we are having a waffle party to welcome Lindsey home."

"Sorry Cath, I can't stay......I have to tell you something and it's bad news."

"What happened? Is it Sara.......Oh God, not the baby?"

"No, it's Grissom!" He shook his head and gently pulled her outside. "Catherine, his plane is missing. It dropped off the radar yesterday morning. Search and Rescue have only just started looking because the same ice storm that downed his plane just moved out of the area. They just confirmed to the Sheriff that Grissom's plane never landed anywhere and they are treating it as a crash. I went with Nick and the Sheriff to tell Sara about him before she saw it on TV........she started having contractions. Paramedics came and they rushed her to the hospital."

"Oh no! Let's get to the hospital. Mom can watch Lindsey."

"I'll meet you there. I have to let Greg and Mike know what happened first."

"They are both at the hospital right now to pick up John. They were all coming back here to have waffles." Catherine pulled out her cell phone to call Greg Sanders. "Greg stay put! Warrick and I will be there in ten minutes. No! Not over the phone, just stay there." Breaking the connection, she opened her door. "Let me tell Mom and Lindsey that I'm going to see Sara. I'll just say she not feeling well and I need to check on her quickly."

During the drive to the hospital, Warrick was quickly loosing his cool with the tourists and Sunday drivers that clogged the roadways. Flipping on his emergency lights, he was able to make it to the hospital in less than five minutes. When Catherine and Warrick arrived at the emergency room, they were surprised to see Nick with Greg, Mike and John.

"Hey Nick! You've told them?" Nick just nodded. "Have we heard anything on Sara yet?"

"They haven't given us an update so far. I think they are trying to stop the contractions. Is there anything new on Griss?"

"Coast Guard confirmed the plane was declared missing........not only that, they said another damned ice storm is heading for the search area tonight."

"Christ, the only luck we have been having lately is bad."

The six of them sat silently for several minutes each lost in their own thoughts about Grissom, until John suddenly spoke up. "I think Grissom knew he wasn't coming back." Everyone turned to stare at him and waited for John to continue. "When I drove him to the airport, I found his bug case on the center console after he got out."

"He forgot it, so what?" Nick dismissed the notion immediately.

"Have you ever known him to forget anything when it comes to bugs, Nick?" Catherine turned back to John to let him continue.

"Then he thanked me for coming to Las Vegas, joining the team. He shook my hand and said goodbye."

They all knew Grissom hated goodbyes, they thought back to their last words with him. Nick clearly remembered Grissom asking him to watch over Sara. As he started to leave Grissom's office, Nick remembered him saying "goodnight, well actually, goodbye."

Greg thought back to the night Grissom came to his locker. "I wanted to say goodbye and thank you. I'm glad you're on our team."

Catherine was stunned when she remembered his last comments to her. "You take good care of you and Lindsey. Oh and keep an eye on the guys for me." It wasn't exactly goodbye but it was as close as Grissom had ever come to saying it.

Warrick's mind went back to his last call from Grissom. He ran the call through his mind. Grissom said a bad moon was rising. It did sound like he knew something might happen to him but even then he was more worried about Sara, John and everyone else.

Mike finally broke the somber mood. "Hey, I just remembered! David's dad is a big wig with the Air Force. May be he can help speed up or expand the search for Grissom."

"Yeah! I'll check with Super Dave, maybe we can help in the search?"

"Nick, I know you want to help but realistically, what can you do?"

"Another pair of eyes could make all the difference."

Catherine walked over and placed her hand on his arm. "Sara needs you here, just in case…."

"No! Don't even go there, Cath!" He pulled away from her, his anger growing. Warwick walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"OK, Nick! First, let's see what Dave's dad has to say. John you need to go home or you'll never feel better. We still have two shifts to cover at the lab tomorrow. Greg, take him home."

"Hey, Hey! That's Sara baby doctor, um.......Dr. Lynch! Hi, I'm Nick Stokes. I brought Sara in today. How is she doing?"

"Where is Dr. Grissom?"

"I wish I had that answer. His plane dropped off radar early Saturday morning somewhere near the Canadian-Alaska border. We are waiting for news from the Coast Guard on his status."

"That explains it! Sara is so depressed and can't stop crying. I assumed the cause of her depression was because Sara thought that she'd lost the baby. Don't worry she's OK and the baby is fine. The pains weren't early labor, just another complication of her diabetes. We've given her medication to ease the contractions but I don't dare release her. I have already requested a room for her. Sara will have to stay until her condition stabilizes. Right now what she needs most is her husband or at least some good news about him. I'm sorry but I have to get back to her now."

"I'll stay here with Sara for now." Mike quickly volunteered and Warrick nodded his OK.

"Catherine, you need to get home to Lindsey. Greg and John, come with us. Let's have that waffle party for Lindsey. Nick, can you check with David and then come over too. There's nothing we can do sitting around here all day. I'll be back later on, Mike and then you can head home. We all will take turns watching over Sara until Griss comes home."


	31. Chapter 31

Grissom woke with a cry. "Sara!"

Martin Dale was taking his turn walking up and down the aisle, he had walked past Grissom but turned back to make sure that he was all right.

Embarassed, Grissom waved off his offer of help. He hated the bad dreams he had been having lately almost as much as he hated being trapped in the damned plane. Grissom wanted to do something........anything to go home, to be with Sara. The renovations on the townhouse were supposed to be done by now. He wanted to double-check everything before they moved back into the townhouse and set up the nursery for Andrew. Grissom tried to fill his mind with lists of things to be done, anything to try and push away the growing feeling that something was very wrong with Sara.

His stomach growled and he could barely feel his fingers and his toes. Grissom was slowly getting used to both those feelings. He only had to wait a little longer. It would soon be his turn to walk up and down the narrow aisle of the plane. It would feel good to move, get some circulation going in his legs and feet. Maybe he could find some thing not too stale to eat in the rapidly dwindling food supply. Grissom smirked at the thought that he would even put up with Hodges right now, as long as he came with some hot coffee and a waffle.

His mind drifted back to his last Sunday brunch with Sara. They were both stretched out on the massive couch in their new apartment, reading the Sunday paper as they fed each other from the sampler brunch specials he had delivered from the Wynn Hotel kitchens: fruit, pastries, pigs in a blanket for him and a veggie omelet for her.

"Your turn, Gil."

Grissom put that happy memory on hold and struggled to get out of his seat in too many layers of clothes and as he tried to stand on feet that felt like two large blocks of ice.

"How bad is this storm, Martin?"

"We have some good news and bad news. Good news, compared to the last storm, this one was nothing, more wind than ice or snow. We got lucky, you can still see the blankets, they're only partly covered. Also the temperature has dropped so the threat of sinking is gone at least for now."

"And the bad news?"

"We lost three more people last night to hypothermia: Carter, Spencer and Douglas."

"That brings up down to 60?"

"No 55! There must have been some panic last night. I found Wilson out cold with a good sized lump on the back of his head. These five must have overpowered him and left after everyone went to sleep. They left a note, said they would rather take their chances outside than live with the smell on the plane or wait to starve and freeze to death."

"Can't really blame them. Think they'll make it?"

"Hell, no! They probably froze to death within 15 or 20 minutes outside. This plane may stink and be too small but it's a lot warmer in here than it is out there. Just keep walking and flexing your fingers and toes, Gil. If you loose your circulation, frost bite will set in."

"OK, I think I'll see what's on the menu for dinner. Any recommendations?"

Dr. Dale Martin chuckled as he climbed into his row and stretched across three seats. He quickly covered himself with several layers of clothes and coats. Grissom looked over the slim remains in the galley cart. He saw a few stale sandwiches, packages of pretzels, peanuts and trail mix. He took one of the few remaining bottles of mostly frozen water and swapped it with the one that had been thawing in his pocket under several layer of clothes. Taking a sandwich, he forced himself to eat one very small bite after he walked up and down the aisle as fast as he could. He had eaten only half of his dinner when his turn for exercise was up. Wanting to save the rest for later, Grissom slowly savored the last of his water. He stopped to tap the shoulder of the next man. "It's your turn, Harris? Need a hand getting up?" The man shook his head and slowly started to rise as Grissom settled back into his row of seats and the cocoon of warmth he had created. He slipped back into sleep a short time later, thinking of Sara. In his dreams, he relived the happy days spent with her on their honeymoon. He smiled in his sleep as he thought about Orlando, Sara and him stretched out in the warm sun.

Sara was also dreaming but her dreams were not happy ones. She watched as a coffin was slowly lowered into the ground. The Mayor, Sheriff and Ecklie were speaking to her but their words of condolence did nothing to stop the pain.

"Gil!" She woke with a cry, only to find herself still in a hospital bed with Mike sitting beside her. Someone had been with her ever since she had been brought to the hospital.

"Hey Sara, it was just a dream. Are you having contractions? Should I get your doctor?"

"No, I'm fine, Mike. I've told you guys before, go home! You don't have to stay here."

"Can I get you anything?"

"Has there been any news?"

Mike shook his head. He hated seeing her disappointed and so upset. He wanted to hold and comfort her. The one time he tried, Sara pulled away and told him to go away. He never tried that again and was relieved when she let him sit with her again. Mike wanted to be there, near her. To help her just in case the worst happened. He was ashamed of the very small hope that if Grissom was really gone, Sara would turn to him.

Sara laid back with a sigh, it had been eight days now with no word. As each day passed, the chances that Grissom would be found alive got smaller and smaller. Sara clung to one idea now. If she had lost Gil at least she was carrying his son. Sara rested a hand on her very swollen abdomen and felt the flutter of Andrew's movements. The contractions came and went now but not nearly as severe as before. Dr. Lynch also told her that at 33 weeks, her son could survive if they had to deliver him early. Sara knew that every day she could carry him closer to full term improved Andrew's chances. Sara's doctor had put her on complete bed rest, which meant she had to take an early leave from the lab and to postpone her classes temporarily. Sara was disappointed but reluctantly agreed. She was determined that Grissom's son would make it, he had to. She could not loose him too. Sara turned back to see Mike worried and frowning.

"So tell me, any new and interesting cases?" With a smile, Mike launched into a detailed breakdown of all the open cases.

* * *

Warrick had passed exhaustion days ago. He was watching over Sara, helping Catherine with Lindsey, running the night shift with two trainees and still putting in as many hours as he could watching the search tapes sent from the Air Force. The high tech equipment at the lab could slow down the jet's high-speed footage. Warrick hoped to find something, anything in the vast white landscape that the pilots might have missed. His eyes were blurred and watering. He finally understood the phrase "snow-blind". Shutting off the latest tape, Warrick stretched out on Grissom's couch. Unconsciously his eyes drifted to the large calendar on the office wall, there were now just three days until the full moon. As he slowly drifted into sleep the lyrics from the Creedence song came into his head.

I see a bad moon rising, I see trouble on the way.

I see earthquakes and lightening, I see trouble on the way.

Don't go around tonight, it's bound to take your life.

**There's a bad moon on the rise.**

Hope you got your things together.

Hope you are quite prepared to die.

Looks like we're in for nasty weather,

one eye is taken for an eye.

Warrick didn't sleep well or very long these days. His dreams always brought him back to the moment when the Sheriff arrived to tell him Grissom plane was lost. That was now ten days ago and still he always woke hoping it had been just a bad dream. Grabbing some clean clothes from his locker, Warrick took a quick shower and was soon back looking at tapes from the last search area. Later, as he walked to the break room to get more coffee, Judy handed him several message slips. He glanced at them quickly but then threw away all the messages that his wife had called.

* * *

Grissom woke up sweating and confused. The plane was usually at or just below freezing. He threw off several layers of clothing as Martin walked by on his trip down the aisles.

"You OK, Gil?"

"What the hell is going on, Martin? I'm actually sweating."

"The sun's out and the temperature is above freezing, which is good. The lake is starting to melt, which is not so good."

"And?"

"I just took a quick head count, we lost another six guys earlier today. I saw some more people skidding across the ice as soon as it was daylight. Gil, we may want to think about removing some of the first class customers." At Grissom's look of confusion, Martin pointed to the dead bodies stacked like wood near the cockpit door. "The air in here is getting pretty bad. All that extra weight up front increases the chance that the front wheel will crack through the ice and start us sinking. If that happens, we are all pretty much screwed."

"I'm not sure I could help carry anyone, my shoulder hurts like hell, Martin. Let me think............maybe we can open the front hatch, use the emergency slide."

"Sound like a plan to me, Gil."

Later that night taking his turn walking up and down the aisles, Grissom looked out a front door window at the twenty plus bodies scattered as far from the plane as they could drag them. His shoulder felt ten times worse but airing out the plane had helped at lot. However, the smell of death still hung thickly in the air. He was just about to turn away when he saw the full moon. It seemed almost defiantly bright, as if it was mocking him. Pulling his eyes away from the moon, he took several calming breaths then he started walking again.

"No animals so far, Doc."

"Yes, that's true but there is no food left and we are down to the last few bottles of water."

"They will last longer, there are a lot less of us now. Besides, they have to find us soon. It's been what 10 or 12 days. I've lost count now. I told Sara I would be home to her by March 4th. She needs me! I've got to get the hell out of here, Doc."

The doctor was not surprised the Grissom was starting to loose his control. In truth, Martin was amazed that the younger man had remained calm and focused for so long under such miserable conditions. "Easy, Gil!"

The older man admired Gil's quick mind, strong back and stronger stomach, especially since Grissom was the only one who could help him move all the dead bodies earlier in the day. Martin also liked the younger man's quirky sense of humor. It had made a very bad situation bearable. "Here, have a scotch. I've been hording a few for emergencies. I think after today we both deserve one right about now. Go very slow, you haven't had anything to eat today."

"Thanks, Doc!" After a few very small sips. "Do you have wife and kids, Martin?"

"My wife died several years ago, breast cancer. We were married almost forty years."

"I'm sorry, Martin. I didn't mean bring up something so painful."

"I miss Beth but the memories are very sweet. We were two of the lucky ones, high school sweethearts. We got married as soon as I was accepted into medical school. She worked while I studied. Then after I set up a practice, we could afford to have kids. We had a boy and a girl but they are all grown up now. Got three grandkids! How about you, Gil?"

"Just married, expecting my first child on May 10th." At his answer the doctor looked very surprised. "I was a late bloomer......actually I was an idiot. It took almost losing Sara twice for me to awake up, tell her I love her and ask her to marry me. My wife is just about eight months pregnant."

"Well that explains your reason for wanting to get the hell out of here, congratulations!"

"Thanks. I just hope I get to see Andrew.......Sara had some tests done and we found out our baby is a boy. We picked out his name already."

"It's amazing how far medicine has come since I started 50 years ago. Not just Forensics, Neonatology, Oncology, Stem cells.....I am glad I'm retiring soon. I just can't keep up anymore."

"That is why I liked forensics. Always something new to learn......but I'm tired of death. Death always wins, Doc! I can usually catch the bad guys but I can't stop them before they kill. Sometimes I wonder if I am really doing any good at all. I hate this......I want to go home, make love to Sara......see my son born!"

Minutes later the doctor took the empty nip from Grissom's hand after he passed out.

The older man covered his friend with some clothes and blankets and then shut off Gil's overhead light which plunged the whole plane into darkness. "I hope you get your wish, son!"


	32. Chapter 32

The Coast Guard finally located pieces of the missing plane well over 100 miles from the last radar contact and followed the trail of debris to the crash site. The Air Force also spotted a long trail of bodies that led them to the plane. Calling in the exact location, a helicopter was soon dispatched to verify if there were any survivors and their status. On arriving, it was quickly confirmed they could not land anywhere close to the downed plane. The plane's front wheel had broken through the ice and warmer temperatures were melting the ice that held up the plane. The weight of the rescuers had caused more cracks in the ice around the plane. The Air Force prematurely reported that no survivors had been seen.

The Coast Guard made several attempts to get to the plane without success. They also sent reports of no visible survivors. Warrick was given this news by the Sheriff and debated if he should tell Sara. However, the matter was quickly taken out of his hand when some reporters managed to sneak into Sara's hospital room. One of them told Sara her husband had been reported as dead and asked for a comment. Nick had taken great pleasure in tossing the reporters out of the room. He spent the rest of the day with Sara, trying to calm and comfort her, insisting the first reports were never right. He insisted that until someone actually got into the plane, nothing was final.

If was almost twelve hours later when Warrick finally got the email message he had been praying for. "Grissom is alive!" The message came from a Captain Angus MacDonald of the Fairbanks PD. The message continued, "37 survivors are being taken to Galena Air Force Base for medical evaluation. That as soon as possible, Grissom would call Sara."

Warrick knew a phone call to Sara would be faster but after all the bad news she received in the last two weeks, this time he wanted to give her the good news in person. Warrick rushed through the lab on the way to his car letting everyone else know Grissom was alive.

* * *

Grissom felt strange, like someone was lifting him. Slowly he woke from his scotch induced stupor. He had one hell of a headache and was experiencing sharp pains in his shoulder.

"Gently guys, that right shoulder may have popped out again or at least partially."

Drifting back into sleep again, the smell of fresh air made Grissom open his eyes again.

"Dr. Grissom?" The sun was blinding him, squinting at one of the men carrying him over the ice, he knew the face was unfamiliar.

"Captain Daniel Hanson, US Air Force. We are removing you and the other survivors. We've set up a landing pad for our helicopters well away from the edge of the lake. Dr. Dale is helping us get the men out that need medical attention fast."

"No, I'm OK! What can I do to help?"

"Nothing, Sir! You are on your way to our base at Galena. Once the brass rubber-stamps your release, we will get you back to Las Vegas ASAP. General Philips sends you his compliments. So just lay back and take it easy. You'll be on your way home soon, Sir."

Arriving at the Air Force base less than an hour later, Grissom felt like he had stepped back in time to his academy days. Full inspection was the order of the day. First, he was taken for a warming bath after his clothes were literally cut and peeled from his body. Embarrassed, Grissom was very grateful for the hot water. It felt so good to be some what clean again. He could almost feel his fingers and toes starting to thaw. He was dried off, given a set of clean scrubs and a heavy robe. From the baths, he was wheeled to an examination room, then to x-ray, to a blood test lab and then back to a different doctor for another examination and treatment on his shoulder. All the while, Grissom kept asking for a phone to call Sara but his requests were ignored or he was told he would be able to call her when they were finished.

Much later, he was wheeled into a makeshift hospital ward in a building attached to the medical unit. It probably had once been a storage shed but for now it was home. A few of the other survivors greeted him as he arrived. It was not pretty but it was warm, clean and a lot bigger than the plane. Best of all it did not smell and it had a real bed. Grissom could actually stretch out fully for the first time in over two weeks. Every hour or so, he could hear more helicopters landing. Sooner or later the survivors were wheeled into the makeshift ward. Grissom was looking for one face that had not appeared. As the sky darkened, he began to worry about Martin Dale. Gil knew how much he hated to fly. When he inquired, Grissom was told the doctor had just arrived with the last helicopter. It was now nearly sunset. He had stayed behind to assist in the transport of the last of the bodies. Grissom knew it would take at least an hour for a bath, examination and tests. He snuggled back into his bed, grateful to be warm, clean and dry even if his fingers and toes had begun to hurt. It was almost two hours before he saw the doctor being pushed into their barracks.

"Martin, you made it? I was getting worried. I know you hate to fly."

"Hey, Guys! Hi, Gil. I killed the last of the nips before I got into that miserable flying bubble thing. Kept my eyes shut all the way. How are you? How's the shoulder?"

"Not so bad now, they fixed it. The bone must have popped out again or started to."

"No, I spoke to your doctor. He confirmed there was a build up of fluid in the shoulder joint. They drained it and the bone settled back in place where it belongs. How's your head?"

"All things considered, not that bad." The doctor pushed his chair close to Grissom's bed.

"I had the medic put some painkillers in your IV."

"Thanks Martin.......for everything. I'm really sorry you had had to put up with me, especially last night. Thanks for getting me drunk. I was pretty close to loosing it."

"You did fine, son. I wouldn't wish what happened to us on my worst enemy but I am glad you were there. You helped me every bit as much as I helped you. How do your fingers and toes feel?

"Pins and needles but that's good. If they hurt, then I get to keep them. Right?"

"Absolutely! I already checked with your medical team. Besides some minor frostbite, you have pneumonia, are badly dehydrated and lost some weight. BIG SURPRISE! The IV will take care of most of that. I warned the doctors not to let any of these guys go to the regular mess, not yet. I think they are bringing us in some soup. I told them to keep it very light or every one will get sick." At the mention of food, Grissom's stomach started to turn.

"Yeah, I think I'll pass. I don't think my stomach is quite ready yet. So how are you?"

"Me? Hell, I'm fine! Can't kill an old warhorse like me. I grew up on Wyoming winters and I live in Juneau now. Cold doesn't bother me and I was already drunk when I got on that damned plane. You know what they say, God protects drunks and fools."

"Thanks a lot, Doc. So that makes me a fool?"

"Gil, did you or did you not call yourself an idiot? I think fool sound much nicer."

They were both laughing as an airman walked into the barracks. "Grissom?"

"That's me! Can I call my wife now?"

"Sorry Sir. I don't know anything about that. I came to bring you to your bath."

"I was given a bath several hours ago. I want to call my wife. Is there a payphone here?"

"This is a secure base. No payphones, Sir. The doctor's orders are for a whirlpool bath every six hours."

"Go ahead, Gil! The warm water will get the ice cubes out of your blood and will help your fingers, toes and shoulder."

Starting to rise, the airman pushed a wheelchair up to Grissom's bed. "I can walk."

"Sorry Sir, we all have orders. Everyone in this ward is to go by chair everywhere."

Arriving at a different section of the base, all Grissom could smell was lemons. He was quickly transferred to a hoist chair and lowered into a bathtub, which held warm water saturated with lemon juice. Grissom eagerly rinsed himself hoping to chase away the smell of death. After several minutes a male nurse moved the hoist seat into an enclosed shower. He rotated Grissom's shoulder and checked his fingers, toes and ribs.

"Shoulder looks good, moves OK. Any pain?" Not getting a response, he continued his examination. "A little nerve damage from frostbite but not bad at all, Sir. When we are done here, the chaplain will help you reach your wife. Very sorry for the delay, Sir."

"My wife is pregnant! Is she OK and the baby?

"That's what General Phillips told your doctors. Don't worry Sir, she has already been contacted and told that you're OK. When is your wife due, Sir?"

"May 10th! I'm Grissom. My friends call me Gil, and you are?"

"Corporal Wendell Harris, my friends call me Dell. Can I get you anything else, Gil? Want to shave?"

Dell showed Grissom his face in a mirror. He had a bushy beard but his face looked drawn and pasty white. "What the hell happened? I look like I died a week ago."

"Cooped up in that plane for two weeks and you lost about 20-25 pounds. Nothing but trail mix and water for that long will do that to a guy."

"My doctor's been at me to loose some weight but it's not a diet I would recommend........Dell, the thought of food makes me sick now."

"That's not uncommon, Gil. Don't worry about it. Just try protein shakes in a can, the vanilla ones don't taste bad. Complete nutrition in a can for now and they'll help you ease into eating again. Otherwise they'll have to put in a feeding tube and trust me, you want no part of that." As they talked the nurse squeezed lemons into Grissom's hair and beard, soaped him up all over and then rinsed him off. "All set, I'll move you to the big whirlpool tub now. You can try taking some steps in there but be careful, don't bust a toe or it's my butt, Gil."

After another 10 minutes Grissom was lifted out, carefully dried and redressed. Grissom looked away during the process, hating to have his person and privacy invaded. He hoped his hands and feet would be better soon so he could begin to care for himself again. Dell covered his hands and feet with ointment then put on protective gloves and socks. The pain that just the light layer of cotton created surprised Grissom.

"Try not to scratch or rub, they may hurt and will itch. If it gets too bad tell your doctor. You're all set. Don't worry, Gil. No one has died of embarrassment yet. It was good to meet you. Hope everything turns out OK with your wife and baby." Dell stepped back as another airman arrived to push Grissom from the bath area back to the barracks.

Grissom was brought to a small empty office not far from the barracks. The base's Catholic chaplain indicated he could use the phone on the desk to call his wife. He gently refused the offer of confession and morning mass. Unable to do it himself, he was forced to ask the priest to dial his home number. Grissom waited and watched the man leave as he struggled to hold the receiver in hands that felt both stiff and swollen. He would rather be in pain than have anyone listen to his call. His heart was beating faster and faster as the line began to ring. Grissom was unaware that Sara was not home, Archie had forwarded the apartment phone to her line at the hospital. "Sara?"

* * *

Sara's continued confinement in the hospital was becoming intolerable. She was happy and relaxed after speaking to Grissom, although she complained to everyone that two minutes was nowhere near long enough. She finally put her foot down and demanded to be sent home after another reporter made it into her hospital room. Pointing out to her doctor and friends that she could sit around doing nothing just as easily at the apartment while she waited for Grissom to come home. Warrick reluctantly agreed, he was having more or more problems with the press. Reporter kept sneaking past the hospital security. He felt she would be happier and safer at the apartment. Dr. Lynch also agreed but on the condition that Sara was restricted to her bed or the couch, except for bathroom breaks.

Sara eagerly left the hospital but after three days of waiting, she grew angrier and more restless. Doubts started to make her anxious. What was taking so long? Did they lie to her about her husband's condition? Yes, she had spoken to Gil but only for two minutes. He said he was fine but he would say that anyway, not wanting to worry her. Sara's grim and unhappy thoughts were interrupted by the apartment's doorbell. Nick walked over to check out the visitor on a view screen. He had already chased away three or four reporters. Nick was surprised when he saw the familiar face David Phillips from the morgue at the door. He was with two other men and one was in a military uniform. With a sudden sense of dread he opened the door but stopped the men from entering by blocking the doorway.

"Hey, Dave! Sorry man, Sara is not really up for company."

"I think she will want to see these two men. It's about Grissom. This is Captain Angus MacDonald of the Fairbanks PD and this is my dad."

"Mr. Stokes, I wanted to come by personally to explain the situation at Galena and the delay in getting Dr. Grissom home to his wife."

"But he is OK.......You don't have bad news for Sara?"

"He is being treated for hypothermia but is in no danger. Is his wife up to seeing me?"

"Yes, I am!" Sara had gotten up from the couch and walked up behind Nick.

"Come on Sara, be good. Dr. Lynch says you have to stay laying down."

"I am not going anywhere until I know why Gil isn't home with me now."

"Please, Mrs. Grissom." The general gently guided Sara back to the couch and sat beside her as the other two men followed. "Your husband is helping us determine what happened. What caused the crash and what happened in the days that followed. As you can well imagine Mam, there are a lot of unanswered questions in the deaths of 40 men. There is an inquest underway at Galena. As soon as all the facts are documented, I will make sure he will get home to you at once." Standing, he turned to the other man. "This is Captain MacDonald, he is a friend of your husband and was with him less than 12 hours ago."

"Hi Sara! You are even prettier in person. Gil showed me your wedding picture."

"You're Mac!"

"That's me! Sara, I love Gil too. He's my best friend. I wouldn't lie to you. He's got a little frostbite on his fingers and toes. His doctors said Gil is dehydrated and lost some weight but they are treating him. He hurt his shoulder and ribs during the landing but otherwise he is OK. He told me you like him clean-shaven but right now he has about three weeks worth of beard. He said he is keeping the beard so you can enjoy watching him shave it off. Whatever the hell that means? He also said he loves you and Andrew. He asked me to tell you that he can't wait until he can hold you both again."

"Thank you." A lot of tension left her body as Sara leaned back on the couch smiling.

"Sara, I'll make sure he gets back to you as soon as possible. He asked me to remind you that you promised to be good while he was gone, do everything your doctor told you to. I wish I had more time to spend with you. I have a hundred questions and you know how hard it is to get a straight answer from Mr. Chatty." Both Sara and Nick laughed at the very accurate, if ironic description of Grissom.

"Gil was the best man at my wedding, in fact he set me and my wife up on our first date. He got to kiss my wife at our wedding. A little late but I finally get to return the favor." He leaned forward and kissed Sara gently on the lips and whispered, "That's from Gil." Leaning back Mac continued. "He loves you so much! Hell, he even skipped all the roach races to come home early. Trust me for a bug guy, that is love."

Sara chuckled and reached for Mac's hand. "When you see him, tell him for me that I am sick of my new back brush……he'll understand."

"You got it! I'm on my way home right now. He'll have your message tonight. Sara, I can't tell you how glad I am you both are together now and I finally got to meet you. Take care of yourself and Andrew. With a kiss to her cheek, "That's from me for making my best friend so happy. Hopefully I can bring Gil's goddaughter down to meet his son, maybe this summer. So I won't say goodbye, I just hope to see all three of you together very soon. I'll also work on the general to see if he can let Gil call you again."

Nick showed the General, David and Mac to the front door and returned to sit beside Sara. "There, feeling better? I knew that Griss would come up with some excuse to get his beard back but I think the whole plane crash thing was a bit much."

Sara and Nick both started to laugh. "OK Sara, couch or bed?"

"Couch! I ordered some movies and there is microwave popcorn in the kitchen."

"Oh good, comedies I hope! I am not in the mood for any more drama right now." Nick returned minutes later opening a steaming bag of popcorn. He switched on the TV and turned to see Sara was sound asleep. He covered her with a blanket and sat beside her.


	33. Chapter 33

The inquest at Galena continued to drag on. The military, both the Canadian and American aviation officials, US Homeland Security and the attorneys for the airlines, the conference and some of the deceased passengers all wanted to hear his story and question him over and over. Grissom lost count of how many depositions he gave and how many times he related the events before, during and after the crash. As his strength slowly returned, his impatience and anger grew. He had been away from Sara and cut off from the outside world for almost a month. He had spoken to Sara only once by phone and saw Mac twice for less than five minutes each time. Since the depositions started, he was no longer able to see or talk to Martin or other survivors.

Grissom spent all day everyday giving testimony or getting physical therapy. His requests to call Sara were denied until the inquest was complete......they wouldn't even let him write to her. Being co-operative had not worked, so Grissom decided that some passive resistance was needed if he ever hoped to get home and see Sara before the baby was born. The next day he refused to speak at all. He handed a note to the orderly wheeling him to the inquest.

**I WANT TO GO HOME NOW! I AM NOT IN THE MILITARY AND I AM NOT A SUSPECT IN ANY CRIME. YOU CANNOT CONTINUE HOLD ME AGAINST MY WILL. YOU HAVE MY WRITTEN ACCOUNT AND HAVE TAPED MY TESTIMONY. I HAVE NOTHING TO ADD. I WILL NOT SPEAK ANOTHER WORD UNTIL I AM RETURNED TO LAS VEGAS AND SEE MY WIFE. GRISSOM**

The lawyers tried to call his bluff, they threatened Grissom with an obstruction of justice charge but he remained silent. The base was soon buzzing with the news. Several other survivors joined Grissom in his silent protest. After two more days, the lawyers had to admit defeat. The military soon returned all the survivors to the same hospital ward and began to arrange transportation home for every man.

Grissom and the others were unaware of the media circus the crash and stories of their survival had created. The press was in a feeding frenzy trying to get pictures and any information on the survivors in general, Gil Grissom and Martin Dale in particular. Stories about the two doctors that managed to save half of the passengers on the doomed flight had become the hot story. Then somehow the story of Grissom's ultimatum to go home got leaked to the press. His note of resistance flashed on TV screens all over the country. Nick, Warrick, MiKe and John suddenly had a full time job keeping all the reporters away from Sara.

The Sheriff's Office was also flooded with requests for information on and interviews with Gil Grissom. Rory Atwater was at first pleased with the media coverage. However, it was quickly apparent that the press only wanted to hear about and talk to Grissom. "The man isn't even here and is still a pain in my ass." The Sheriff's grumblings stopped when he received a call from General Phillips that Grissom was being flown home to Vegas and would arrive at Nellis Air Force Base the next day.

Warrick quickly came up with a plan to sidetrack the media, hoping to give Grissom and Sara some time alone with each other. Nick asked the management of the Wynn to tighten security around their apartment, so he could drive a decoy limo to McCarran Airport. As expected, most of the news trucks and film crews followed him.

Warrick drove a corner's wagon onto Nellis Air Force Base by a service entrance. Armed with paperwork from General Phillips, he was directed to Hangar B. There were several aircraft housed in the massive building. Driving up to the security door, he had all the paperwork ready. "I am here to pick up…"

"Living or dead?"

"Excuse me?"

"You are driving a corner's wagon but have on a CSI jacket. Is the person you are here to pick up alive or dead?"

"Alive, the last I heard. Gil Grissom, he was on flight 101." Warrick handed him all the paperwork and showed him his ID.

"Oh good , you are here for the hero! Brave man and smart too. Come on, follow me."

"Hero?"

"Yeah, without him and the Doc, everyone on that plane probably would have died. The media has tried every trick in the book to get onto base for an interview. All the poor guy wants is to go home and see his wife. She is pregnant and pretty sick from what he told me. The man survived a crash, damn near starved and froze to death waiting to be rescued. I don't know about you but they would have had to tie me up and knock me out before I'd get back on another plane. When you leave, I'll try to make sure you guys aren't followed.

Warrick walked up the back ramp of the aircraft following the airman. They passed more airmen wheeling bodies off the plane, Rick noticed there were no seats in the back section. They continued to walk past rows of fold down shelves, a few still held wrapped bodies. Shivering, Warrick could sense death all around him. Even after working as a CSI for seven years, he still got the willies from time to time and he had them now.

Entering the front section, Warrick noticed it was much warmer and lighter. There were some rows of seats but there were more of the fold down shelves. However, several of these shelves held mattresses with people on them. Many of the people were bandaged, had casts and some had IV's. The airman stopped near a uniformed man in the very front.

"Hey Grissom, time to wake up! Your ride is finally here?"

"Ride?" The airman helped the man lying down to sit up. Warrick was stunned. To say that Grissom looked different was an understatement. First thing Warrick noticed was how much thinner he looked. Grissom's hair was a lot longer, curlier and had a lot more grey. He also had a full beard and mustache, mostly white. His skin was very pale but it was Grissom's eyes that made him look so different. Grissom looked angry, very angry and he also looked like he was in pain. The eyes abruptly changed when he saw the face of a friend.

"Warrick! Thank God, finally a friendly face and no damned uniform."

Happiness at seeing Grissom wiped the frown from Warrick's face. All he wanted to do was hug his friend. Stepping forward he took note of the IV and the protective coverings on Grissom's hands and feet. Warrick stopped suddenly and looked puzzled. "They never told us you were hurt, Griss."

"Just dented, not broken. He turned to the airman, "Marc, will you get rid of this thing please?"

The Airman quickly stepped forward to remove the IV and then stepped back. Grissom took a step forward and Warrick took a step to meet him in a hug. The two men stay locked together for well over a minute. Finally able to step away, Warrick helped Grissom sit.

"Are you OK? What happened?" Rick knelt down to help Grissom put on his shoes, which looked more like hospital slippers.

"Too long of a story, Rick. Right now I just want to get the hell off this plane. How is Sara?"

"Very anxious to see you! I have a car right outside to take you to her. You ready to go?"

"It's funny, I have been waiting for this day for a month and now I can't seem to move. Just how mad is she?"

"Sara? She has been worried, not mad."

"Oh, she is mad, trust me, Rick! How in the hell have you managed to stay married this long and not understand a woman's mind?" Warrick just shook his head as he smiled.

Grissom got up. "Thanks for the ride, Marc. Remember what I said about waiting."

"Yes Sir, you take care. Let me go first to make sure the coast is clear for you."

Four military trucks had surrounded the coroner's wagon. Warrick backed up the van close to the bottom of the ramp as the airman helped Grissom get in."

"You are good to go, Grissom. It was an honor having you on board, Sir."

"Marc, don't take this personally but I hope I never see one of these ugly, smelly things again. Take care and send my thanks to all the guys at Galena."

Two of the huge trucks pulled slowly away. Warrick drove behind the second truck as the other two lined up behind him. The five vehicles slowly drove from Nellis Air Force Base towards Vegas. Once they confirmed that no one followed the coroner's van, the trucks all turned back to base as Warrick turned onto I-15. Within minutes Grissom and Warrick were riding the elevator up to Grissom's apartment at the Wynn. As the elevator doors opened, Warrick was surprised to see only Catherine waiting as they arrived on Grissom's floor.

"Hi, Catherine!"

"Hey, you! Long time no see." If she was startled by his appearance, Catherine hid it well. She stepped into his arms for a gentle hug. Reluctant to let him go, she finally stepped back after placing a kiss on his cheek. "So what happened, they loose your luggage?"

Warrick chuckled as Grissom rubbed a gloved hand gingerly over his rough beard and tried to smooth out the creases in the baggy Air Force jumpsuit he had on.

"Look that bad, huh? Maybe I should go next door. Get a shave and a trim job. Rick can you find me something......anything else to wear. I don't want to scare her."

"Oh no you don't! Sara is waiting for you. She has been waiting for a month. Now get in there and take your lumps, mister." Catherine opened the door to the apartment.

"Cath, I'm scared. What if she…."

"Gil, just flash those beautiful baby blues and that cute grin of yours. You'll have her in a lip lock in a minute, minute and a half tops. Go on!"

Catherine gently pushed him through the door of the apartment and then into the bedroom. Sara had fussed all morning, trying to look as attractive as possible, which was not an easy thing when you're eight months pregnant. She got up from the bed as he entered. They devoured each other with their eyes. Her eyes quickly scanned him from top to bottom and then focused on his face, capturing every detail, every change. More grey in his hair and the beard. He looked thinner but she was surprised and delighted to see he was wearing some kind of coveralls. She was surprised to see pain and fear in his eyes, which was quickly replaced with adoration and desire. His arms automatically reached out for her.

Grissom eyes immediately went to Sara's abdomen. Her body was rounded and very full everywhere he looked. He always thought Sara was beautiful but now......she had bloomed. His fingers longed to touch, explore and learn each change. To kiss away the sadness from her face. Then he looked into her eyes. They were the deepest brown he had ever seen but with anger or joy?

"Oh Sara! I am so sorry...." Grissom took a step and opened his arms...."I missed you so much…I"

"You liar!" She rushed forward and slapped him but the thick beard easily softened the blow. "You bastard!" Sara continued to slap or hit whatever she could reach. "You lied to me. You promised you'd never leave me, leave us. You promised you'd be right back…."

Catherine and Warrick had not intended to watch the reunion but everything happened so quickly. Catherine was smiling as she started to shut the door but Warrick tried to push past her. "Warrick, No! This is between a husband and wife."

"His shoulder and ribs are hurt." Warrick turned back wanting to help his boss but saw Sara pulling Grissom into her arms as he leaned down to kiss her.

"Damn, I was off by 45 seconds." Catherine laughed as she pushed Warrick out of the way and quietly shut the door. "You want to do something for Gil and Sara? Guard that door and this one." Catherine opened the apartment door and stepped into the hallway. "Keep everyone and I mean everyone out of here for the next hour or so."

A puzzled look crossed Warrick's face but it was soon replaced with understanding and then embarrassment. "Got it!"

"Mike and John have a bunch of reporters cornered in one of the function rooms downstairs. Mike gave them a line of bull about a press conference. Nicky is leading the rest of them on a merry chase around Vegas but some of them still might make it up here. I wouldn't be surprised if the Mayor and Sheriff show up any time too. If they do arrive, send them down to let the reporters chew on them for awhile. Let's try to give those two some time alone, it looks like they need it. Then we have to get back to work. We are still going to be one supervisor short.......at least for now."

"Man, I almost didn't recognize Grissom when I first saw him on the plane. He is going to need some time off for sure and he deserves it. I hope he can come back to the lab soon."

"I wouldn't plan on Grissom making an appearance at the lab any time soon......and maybe not ever again. Something happened to him up there and I'm not talking about the crash. I saw it in his eyes. This whole thing gave him time to think and I mean really think......reevaluate a lot of things. His priorities are Sara and the baby now and that's the way it should be."

"No way! He won't quit, not just like that."

"Wanna make a bet on that?"

"Sorry, I don't gamble anymore. A friend of mine helped me kick the habit."

"I'd love to be a fly on the wall in that room." Catherine smiled and waved as the elevator closed. She had to head back to the lab to finish her extended shift. Warrick waved back and leaned against the wall. No one would get past him, at least, not without a warrant. With any luck, things would almost be back to normal in a few days.

* * *

Sara and Grissom were still kissing, until suddenly Sara broke away.

"Hey, you're shaking! What's wrong, Gil?"

"I think I better sit down before I fall down." Grissom sat on the bed and immediately kicked off his shoes. Sara sat beside him and noticed the protective socks on his feet and gloves on his hands. She pulled off one of the gloves, even though he tried to stop her.

"Your hands, Gil, your beautiful hands." She inspected the red, swollen fingers and raised them to her lips for a very gentle kiss. Grissom pulled on her wrists and brought both her hands to his lips and kissed them.

"Sara, I'm sorry it took so long for me to come home but I did not break my promise to you, honey. Nothing on this earth was going to stop me from coming home to you and to Andrew." He gently touched Sara's swollen abdomen and was rewarded with a very strong kick.

"Guess I'm not the only one who was mad. We have both missed you so much. Gil, I was so scared......I didn't mean to hit you. I thought I lost you. I love you, I want us to be a family. I want you with me when he is born. To watch him and help him grow up together." He nodded and leaned over to kiss Sara, picking up where he left off. He tried to run his fingers through her hair but the tips of his fingers still hurt too much. So he ran the heel of his hands over her shoulders, down her back and came to rest on the bump that was their son.

The need to breathe finally forced them to end their marathon kiss. Sara ran her fingers through the long tangled curls in his hair and then into the wild and dense beard. Grissom covered her hands with his. Sara pulled back "Gil? God, your hands are freezing. Your face is cold."

"I don't know if it was all that time up north or all the weight I've lost but I always feel cold now."

"Let's get you out of this silly thing into something warmer." She got up and pulled a thick sweatshirt and pants from the bureau. "They may be a little big but they will be warm." Sara sat on the bed to remove his socks and then stood up to reach for the zipper of the jumpsuit he had on. Grissom captured her hands and pulled Sara to stand between his legs. "Oh God, Sara! I just need to hold you, please. I've missed you, every minute of every long day. Some nights I ached with the need to hold you. The days were bad but the nights.....Shakespeare said it much better when he said that in a minute there are many days. You are stuck with me from now on. Unless we all go as a family, I don't go. I am not leaving you both ever again." Sara kissed him and reached for the jumpsuit zipper again but he stopped her. "Honey, I just want to prepare you, there are some bruises left on my ribs, back and legs. Don't worry, they look bad but don't really hurt anymore."

"Your shoulder?"

"More stiff than sore. I'm fine now that I'm home. What about you, honey? I've been so worried." His hands caressed her stomach. "I kept feeling that something was wrong."

Sara was going to lie but just then a series of contractions hit. "Now that your home, I'll be fine. We'll both be fine. Andrew must be impatient like me. He wanted to make an appearance early. I've been having Braxton-Hicks contractions.......don't worry it's like false labor or practice labor. The pains started when the Sheriff came to tell me about the crash. The pains were so bad that day that I really thought I was loosing Andrew."

"Oh God, I knew something was wrong but I couldn't reach you…" Grissom stood as his hand moved to caress her face gently and then back to the bump that was Andrew.

"If I lay down the pains go away, unless I stay in one position for too long." Sara pulled back the covers on the bed.

"You mean you are still having them? "

"Yes, here feel...........and in answer to the question you won't ask. We can still be together. I checked with Dr. Lynch, she said as long as it wasn't painful for me. So, let's get rid of this thing." She finished unzipping his jumpsuit and it slid into a heap on the floor. Sara kicked it away as she quickly pulled off her dress. "Sit down and move over. I take up a lot more room than I used to. Gil please, I want you to touch me, hold me.......love me."

* * *

Author's note: Again my apologies to those who wanted a spectacular sex scene but it's not my forte. Also remember Griss is kind of banged up and Sara is very pregnant. So I will close this out now and allow you to fill in the blank with your own version. As Sara once said, "A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste."


	34. Chapter 34

Warrick stood guard at the apartment door and was able to cut off more reporters that made it to Grissom's apartment and directed them down to the function room for the "press conference". Just as Catherine predicted, the Mayor, Sheriff and Ecklie showed up about an hour later. "There is a roomful of reporters' downstairs, waiting in the function room for a statement." Taking the bait, all three left to speak to the press. Warrick was happy that at least he had managed to give Gil and Sara a little more time alone. However, his mind kept returning to the bet had Catherine offered him, that Grissom would not be returning to the lab or his job. It was just so hard to think he would never work with his friend and mentor again.

Unaware of all the schemes and activities by his friends to give them some privacy, Grissom and Sara relaxed in their whirlpool tub as they continued their private welcome home. Sara finished drying off and was putting on her robe. "How is you shoulder feeling?"

"It feels better now. Are you sure you are all right, Sara?"

"I'm OK. You didn't hurt me, Gil. I told you it would be fine. Actually, it was better than fine. It was great, fantastic......"

"Will you try to behave!" He was blushing deeply as she helped him get out of the tub and dry off.

"Sorry, it's the jumpsuit. Do you have any idea how adorable you looked in it? I love to see you in coveralls. I used to come by the garage at the lab just to look at you wearing them. If you'll remember the first time I really touched you, you had your coveralls on." At his look of confusion, Sara reached out to caress his cheek. "Chalk dust, remember?"

"Ah yes! Well, maybe I should keep that as a souvenir. I'll model it for you from time to time. Although, I've lost so much weight I'm not sure I'll have any clothes that fit me anymore." Sara tied the drawstring on the sweatpants for him. He looked at himself in the mirror, the sweats were very baggy.

"Not that I'm complaining, Gil but just where are all your other clothes?"

"Most of them are still in my suitcases in the cargo hold of the plane. Who knows, maybe if it hasn't sunk into the lake we landed on, I may eventually get them back. I had on that heavy grey suit you liked, a sweater and my favorite topcoat when I boarded the plane. I didn't know it then but I would wear those same clothes for over two weeks. As it got colder, I just added more layers. When I finally got to Galena, they peeled or cut away all the clothes from my body and probably burned them. After that, I spent most of my days in hospital scrubs or naked in a huge whirlpool bath. When I had to testify at the inquest, they would give me a jumpsuit."

"That's all you're going to tell me about this whole last month?"

"Sara, I've had to relive the crash and the aftermath everyday since I was found. Please honey, for right now I want to forget all about what happened and just be with you. Thoughts of being with you again were the only thing that kept me sane some days." He took a step towards her but a loud knock on the door interrupted whatever he was going to do or say next.

Warrick did not enter, he spoke through the closed door. "Hey sorry guys but you two better get decent quick. The Mayor, the Sheriff and Ecklie, will probably be back here any minute now." Grissom frowned at the intrusion and the mention of his least favorite people.

"Want me to shave you?" He sat on the bed and got a little upset after he unsuccessfully tried to put on his own socks. Sara helped him put back on a pair of the protective socks and gloves.

"Nah! Screw'em. They barge in here uninvited, then this is the me they are going to get."

Trying to lighten the mood, Sara changed back into her dress. "Hey, how about something to eat? You must be starving. When did you eat last?"

"No, I'm fine. There was food on the plane. Do you want me to make you something?"

"When your hands feel better. I'll just get some fruit and yogurt for now."

"I'll get it." As they left the bedroom, they found a weary Warrick half asleep on the couch.

"Warrick, will you go home, please? Tina probably can't remember what you look like."

"Man, try to help a friend and get nothing but abuse.......OK, OK, I'm leaving. Do you guys need anything before I go?"

"No, just thank you." Sara hugged him.

"You're welcome!" Grissom returned from the kitchen with Sara's fruit and yogurt. He also had a bottle of water for them both.

"Warrick, thank you again for all your help! I still owe you a brunch and a dinner."

"Don't think I won't collect." The doorbell rang as Warrick walked to answer. "Guess who?" He let in the Mayor, the Sheriff and Ecklie in as he left. "Call me if you need anything."

Grissom ignored the three men as he served Sara and helped her get settled comfortably on the couch.

All three men were stunned by the physical changes in Grissom. The mayor spoke first. "Gil, we stopped by to welcome you home. To make sure you're OK and thank you for your heroic efforts to save the other passengers under unimaginable conditions. I know you've only just arrived home but there are a number of reporters downstairs. We can go down there now, if you feel up to it and get all this press nonsense out of the way."

"I am sorry, gentlemen! I am not allowed to speak to the press. You came here for nothing."

The mayor stormed over to him. "And just who told you that?"

Grissom handed him several pieces of paper. "Those are subpoenas for testimony. Until all these court orders are completed, I can't speak to the press and will be at the beck and call of countless attorneys for at least the next few weeks or possibly months. I'd appreciate it if you could pass on that information to the press. Perhaps then they will all go away and leave us alone." His tone conveyed an unmistakable request for the three men to leave.

Sara was surprised to see anger simmering in her husband's eyes. She could see and feel the tension in his body. Sara watched as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"It was kind of you to stop by. It saved me from making several calls which are a little difficult right now." He held up his hands in the protective gloves. "Conrad, I will let you know when I can come back to work. Now if you will excuse us, we are having dinner. Sara and I have been apart for a month and would appreciate some privacy."

The Mayor handed the Sheriff all the paperwork Grissom had given him and left abruptly. The Sheriff handed the papers to Ecklie, glared at him and quickly followed the Mayor out of the apartment. Conrad smiled and placed all the papers on a coffee table near the couch. "I'm glad you're OK, Gil! I can see things are finally back to normal. Grissom, Sara!" With a nod to both, he left.

Sara waited for the door to close behind Conrad and then turned to her husband. "Did I miss something? Why are you so angry with them? What aren't you telling me?"

"I am just tired of people using me and being a pawn that everyone has control over." Grissom sat down on the couch as if all his energy had just vanished.

"This whole mess with the media will all die down soon, Gil. Then we will move back to the townhouse and go back to our old quiet lives."

"Sara, I'm not sure that will ever happen. To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure I want my old life back anymore. You were the only thing in that old life that made me happy."

"I wasn't the only thing but thank you. You know that you love to solve the puzzle and command your troops. If you want to make some changes....that's fine, Gil. It looks like you'll have plenty of time to think about things and decide what changes you want to make."

"I really don't think I'd miss the work......but I would miss the gang at the lab."

Sara was very surprised by his comments and grew more concerned. She had never seen her husband's moods and emotions so open and apparent before. He may have survived the crash but it was obvious to her that something else had happened to him. Maybe he'd just needed more than just time to recover and feel comfortable with himself and his old life again. Sara wanted him happy again. If his old life no longer made him happy, then she would adapt. Sara knew that her life was with him, whatever that life would be.

"Well, Dr. Grissom, I have no intention of sharing you just yet. I want you all to myself for a while longer. How about a breakfast for the gang on Sunday, better yet, a brunch? It will be a welcome home party for you, and a way for me to thank them. I really don't know how I would have gotten through this last month without all of them."

"I'd like that, Sara! Thank you."

"For now how about we cuddle up on the couch, watch a movie and make out."

"I'd like the sound of that plan a lot more if we skip the movie part."

"Deal!"

* * *

Warrick called to let Nick know that Grissom was safe with Sara in his apartment. Relieved, he dropped off the decoy limo and drove back to his place tired but happy. Nick was surprised to see Warrick waiting. "Hey Rick, what's up? Do you need me to do anything else?"

"No! Thanks for your help, man. Grissom and Sara are finally together at their place. Can I crash on your couch? Tina changed the locks. I found my stuff outside our place."

"Yeah, sure! Sorry about that. Would it do any good for me to talk to her?"

"I don't know. Right now I'm so tired, I don't care!" Warrick followed Nick into his place. "Damn, I forgot to let Mike and John know that everything is code four."

"Already done! Catherine called me and I spoke to them. They are probably already home. It has been one hell of a day, a hell of a week. Thank God tomorrow is Saturday. Maybe next week things will be back to normal......or at least closer to normal."

Warrick sat on the couch and laid his head back eyes closed. "Yeah, normal would be nice."

Opening the closet door, Nick took off his jacket. After he hung up it up, he grabbed a pillow and an extra blanket tossing them on the couch beside his friend. "You want a beer?"

"Oh, yeah!" Warrick followed Nick into the kitchen.

"Did you get something to eat?" Warrick shook his head. "No a problem, I have the pizza guy on speed dial, one large or two small?"

"A large is good. Thanks, Nick." Taking a beer, he walked back to the couch.

Nick settled beside Warrick and took a healthy drink. "So, how is he?"

"He looks tired and in pain. He didn't say anything about what happened up there. I want to warn you he's lost some weight and has a full beard and mustache again and it's mostly white. His hands and feet are all bandaged up from the frostbite but what you notice right off are his eyes, so angry.....you know a long time ago I used to think Griss had no emotions. He was always thinking, so calm, logical and rational but now......he's different."

"Angry! Yeah, I quess I would be too. I wonder what really happened to him up there? Didn't you ask?"

"Sure but all he said was that it was too long a story."

"Maybe he still in shock, he just needs some time........it can take a while to get your head screwed back on straight after something that bad, believe me I know."

"Oh, God! Sorry Nick, I forgot about what happened to you. I don't know, I just really thought that Griss would be happy to be home."

"And he isn't?"

"Doesn't act like it! It didn't help that Sara started in on him as soon as we got to their place. She was yelling and slapping him."

"Well she was scared and pretty mad. I'm sure she didn't stay mad for very long. She was so happy when they told her that he was OK and coming home. Sara loves him and he loves her."

"Yeah, I know. The first words out of his mouth were, "How is Sara?"

A knock at the door interrupted their conversation. "Hey, that was fast. Dinner is here!"

Warrick pulled a twenty-dollar bill from his pocket. "I got it."

Nick opened the box and started to eat. "After this, I'm going to bed. This has been the longest month of my life. If you get up before I do, anything in the fridge is fair game for breakfast."

* * *

Sara called everyone on Saturday to arrange the Sunday Brunch for around noon. As they waited for their guests to arrive, she talked her husband into letting her shave him. Grissom looked and felt much better without the nearly white bushy beard. Sara agreeded it was a lot more fun to kiss him with a fur face.

Warrick and Nick were the first to arrive with pastries. Nick hugged Grissom gently, aware of his sore ribs and shoulder. Catherine came next with waffles. Grissom quickly pulled her aside. He wanted to apologize because he forgot to ask her about Lindsey the previous day. Catherine waved away his apology and let him know that her daughter was doing much better but was starting to get very house happy. The trio of Greg, Mike and John came next bearing coffee, the expensive Hawaiian blend that Grissom loved. Helping the host, Greg made the coffee but Grissom left all the food on the kitchen table so that everyone could take what they wanted. John tried several times to apologize for crashing the van but Grissom was more concerned with how he was feeling. John was stunned when Grissom offered to sell him the Denali on the condition that he would deal with all the insurance companies. He accepted the offer gratefully. Grissom was about to sit when the doorbell rang again.

"Hey Jim, you are late! Get in here."

"I.....well." Brass did not enter or say that he was not invited. He looked very nervous as Sara walked over. "Am I forgiven?"

"Jim, I'm sorry I forgot to call you. You know you are always welcome here, come in."

He hugged her and handed Sara a box of her favorite herbal tea, the only kind she was allowed to drink.

"I'll make some for you, sweetheart. Go sit down." Returning a few minutes later with John's help, he had used the full tea service from his mother's house. Sara poured a cup for him and herself. "Anyone else?" Grissom sat beside Sara and looked at the faces of those all around him.

"I want to thank you guys for your help. Not only for your efforts to help find me but for being here and helping Sara while I was gone. I know that I would not be home right now without all of you. I also know you want me to tell you everything that happened up there but I can't." He pointed to all the paperwork still sitting on the coffee table. "At least, not right now! I am under a gag order and several subpoenas. I will probably be spending the next few weeks at the courthouse or lawyers offices. I am sorry! I know this whole mess has screwed up your personal lives." He looked directly at Warrick. "I hope it will all be over very soon. So both Sara and I want to thank you very much for your help."

Jim launched himself from his chair. "Good! Now that the speeches are over, let's eat!"

Smiling, Grissom stretched out on the couch with Sara in his arms. "So fill me in. What's been happening here, while I froze my ass off?"

Practically bursting with the news, Greg spoke first. "We found an ID for mummy man! He was Gus Donovan, a leg breaker for Tony C back in the day. Very old Vegas and I mean that in more ways than one. Doc figured he's been sitting out in the dessert for at least 25 years. During the autopsy he found a small skull plate and a few real teeth. I tracked down some old medical records and put two and two together."

"Great work, Greg!"

"Please don't encourage him! He has been insufferable for the last 10 days." Warrick returned from the kitchen with another plate of food.

"Sorry Rick, you will have to put up with him, until I'm released from further testimony."

"Unless Ecklie gets his way and makes the changes he wants."

"Why? What is he bitching about now?"

"Me mostly.......too much OT! Now that Cath is back, he wants Nick in charge of nights. Sheriff told him to leave things as they are, until you come back. He was not happy."

"Idiot! You know this whole damn mess never would have happened if he hadn't stuck his nose in. I got plans approved and funding to have a video conference center set up in the AV lab. I gave the old Sheriff a full workup on all the time and money it would save. At the time, Ecklie was still the lab administrator. He put all the plans on hold, so he could go to a conference in Hawaii. Then later I found out he used part of the funds to redo his office when he got promoted. So the whole project was put on the back burner. If that conference center had been set up, I never would have had to go to Canada. Thanks a lot Ecklie, where ever you are." Grissom raised his cup in a mock toast. "Asshole! The other joined in the toast and raised their cups. "I'm just sorry you guys have to put up with him."

Mike got up to get more coffee and food. "You know he's already told every one at the lab that you'll be back on Monday night."

"Anyone with half a brain doesn't listen to anything he says." As the others filled him in on the open cases and recent events, Grissom started to yawn. Catherine could see that Sara was falling asleep in Grissom's arms and knew that he was not feeling anywhere close to OK. She quickly got up and gathered some leftovers for Lindsey.

"Come on you guys, some of us have to work tomorrow. And you, try to rest and enjoy this time away from the lab and Ecklie." Catherine leaned over to kiss Grissom's cheek.

"Yes, Mam. Guys please take some of the leftovers. Thanks again and remember, stop by to see us anytime."

The room was soon empty again. "Hey sleeping beauty, everyone is gone."

Sara just snuggled closer. "I thought they would never leave."

"You just don't like sharing me with anyone, Sara."

"I'm sick of sharing you. You were gone a whole month. I missed you so much! Please, hold me." Against her will a few tears spilled from Sara's eyes onto his shirt.

"Hey, hey! No tears now. Everything is OK with you and Andrew and I'm home in one piece......more or less. We made it, Sara. The bad moon has come and gone. Everything will be good from now on."


	35. Chapter 35

Arriving for work on Monday night, Warrick was in the locker room changing as Archie entered. "Hey Warrick, a package just came for Grissom. Is he coming in tonight?"

Warrick rolled his eyes then turned to face Archie. "No, he won't be in for a few more weeks. Just leave it on his desk for now. I'll call him later, see if he wants me to open it."

Warrick was lost in his thoughts about his marriage to Tina. He had just received paperwork from her lawyer about a trial separation. He was still angry that he had seen his wife leaving the hospital with her old boyfriend. True, he had not been home a lot lately but he had a damned good reason to be away so much. Just because he wasn't home every night, that was no excuse for her to cheat on him.

Suddenly, there was a bright flash from the hallway and a muffled explosion. Alarms started to sound and the emergency exhaust fans immediately kicked on. Warrick raced out into the hall grabbing a mask to cover his nose and mouth. Nick and Catherine were not far behind him.

They found Robyn and Archie gasping for air. Archie tried to crawl from Grissom's office as he attempted to drag Robyn. A fine mist of white powder rose from what was left of a package on the desk, it filled the air in center of the office. Warrick quickly shut off the exhaust fan in Grissom's office and closed his office door. He helped Archie to the showers and Nick followed him carrying Robyn. They both tried to rinse the chemicals off them, hoping it would help them breathe easier. Catherine ran to make sure everyone else in the lab had cleared out. She met a livid Ecklie at the front entrance.

"What the hell is going on, Catherine?"

"Don't look at me this time! There was an explosion in Grissom's office, not in the lab."

"Was this one of Grissom's experiments?"

"He hasn't been here in over a month, I don't think so. I was some kind of a package and Robyn and Archie were caught in the blast. Warrick and Nick got them to the showers and hazmat is on the way."

"If the problem is in Grissom's office why is everyone else outside?"

"It's a hazmat procedure! No one goes back in until we know what caused the explosion and if there are any more. The lab is empty except for the four in the showers. Paramedics have been called."

"Can we turn off the damn alarms then?"

"HAZMAT guys are arriving now, they can do it."

Less than an hour later, the hazmat chief confirmed the chemicals released were not lethal and the fumes had been contained at the blast site thanks to Warrick's fast action.

Cautiously everyone returned to work, police tape covered the closed door to Grissom's office.

"Mr. Ecklie, an exothenic device holding chemicals was placed on the desk in this office. That motion may have set the timer for detonation. The package must have been delivered to the building within an hour or so of the explosion because it had a quick timer. You have video cameras, I'll need to see your security tapes. It appears whoever works in that office was the target. The chemicals were not strong enough to kill but those two kids are going to be sick as hell for a few days. The two men that got them out and into the showers had masks so they will be OK. We have just introduced a re-agent into this office vent to neutralize the chemicals. No one goes in there until I check the air tomorrow and view what's left of the package, the elements and construction of that device." Archie and Robyn were wheeled past the two men on stretchers. "I strongly recommend that any mail or packages received, be scanned or sent to HAZMAT until we know more."

Ecklie scanned the hallway as the HAZMAT crew left. "With all the media hanging around trying to get at Grissom, they will have a field day with this. Catherine, let everyone know that no one talks to the press. I will need to let the Sheriff know what happened here. Refer all the press to his office. OK everyone, let's get back to work."

Ecklie left but Catherine was more concerned about Warrick and Nick. She found them in the locker room. "Hey, you guys OK?"

Nick pulled on a dry shirt. "A little wet but we're OK. Did hazmat say what happened?"

"They are not talking and Ecklie wants us to stonewall the press. He said to refer any requests for information to the Sheriff's Office."

"Yeah, that sounds about right for him."

"I'm heading home, Rick. I'll see you later. If you need any help, call me."

"Thanks Nick. Have a good night."

Warrick pulled on a dry shirt and smiled at Catherine's unspoken question. "Tina and I are taking a time out just now. I've been crashing on Nick's couch until I can find a new place."

"That sucks! I am sorry, Warrick. Can I do anything to help?"

"Not unless you can give me a few days without a major crisis."

"You want me to cover your shift for tonight?"

"No but thanks, Catherine." He hugged her. "Go home to Lindsey."

Warrick and Greg luckily had a slow night and had just a few leftovers for the morning crew. The HAZMAT chief returned early and Warrick waited for him. He needed to retrieve some case files from Grissom's office. As the chief opened the office door a strong chlorine smell assaulted them both, even through their masks.

"Luckily most everything in the office is in glass jars, so there will be no contamination but anything in those cages will be dead."

Warrick walked over to see Grissom's pet tarantula with eight hairy legs in the air. "Oh man! Grissom is going to be pissed. His hissing beetles and maggots are all dead."

"Grissom! Is that the man I've seen all over the news? He survived a plane crash, right? It seems like someone really has it in for him."

"No, he said the plane crash was an accident."

"Well this wasn't. Look!"

Written in blood red crayon on the remains of the burnt cardboard box were words that forced Warrick's mind into high alert.

**YOU'VE IGNORED ME FOR THE LAST TIME – NEXT TIME YOU DIE!**

"Someone is after him! I need that box to test for hair, fiber and fingerprints." Warrick's mind went back to the crash that hurt John. The man that hit the Denali would not have been able to see who was driving through the darkly tinted windows. Maybe it wasn't an accident after all, someone was trying to hurt or kill Grissom! John only got hurt because he was driving Grissom's van. Warrick automatically started to reach for the package debris for analysis.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT! Nothing is moved until everything is checked. Most of this paperwork will have to be destroyed. You can take pictures of what you need from the desk, then this all goes into our labs. When we are through it will be destroyed safely."

An hour later Warrick had finished taking photos of the pending case files. "Before you pack this all up, I need to run these pictures by Captain Brass. He may need to see the original." Warrick stepped out of the office, quickly removed the protective suit and mask then pulled out his phone. "Jim? It's Rick! We have a situation in Grissom's office, can you come by.....now?"

Brass frowned into his phone, more because of Rick tone and that he would say nothing more about the situation. "Sure, on my way!"

Arriving on the scene, Brass was startled to see the police tape on Grissom's door. Warrick motioned for him to follow as he downloaded his camera into the lab computer.

"Jim, before HAZMAT takes everything away, I wanted to show you this. Someone sent a bomb to Grissom. We found this message on the device. Do you need to see the original? We can't keep any of the original evidence to check for hair, fibers or fingerprints."

"Don't bother, there won't be any." Brass instantly recognized the red crayon and printing.

"Grissom has been getting messages from this nut job off and on for a year. I have all the others in my office. Tell the HAZMAT guy he is good to go and meet me in my office when you're done here."

"Yeah, sure!" Puzzled and more concerned Warrick saved the picture file. He had a lot of work to do, to recreate the damaged files from Grissom's desk but they could wait for now.

Arriving at Jim's office a short time later, Brass removed a large box from under his desk.

"This is what Grissom refers to as his fan mail." Jim removed three other letters printed in the same blood red crayon. "This is the last one I know of that came from this loony. Gil gave it to me when he got back from his honeymoon." Warrick eye immediately focused on the last line in the message.

YOU KNOW WHO I AM –CONTINUE TO IGNORE ME AT YOUR PERIL!

Warrick read the rest of the letters and was shocked at the description of what the sick man promised to do to Grissom. Each letter got angrier, more violent and more explicit.

"Are you saying that Grissom knows this guy?"

"No! We've had everything analyzed. Gil couldn't think of anyone he has pissed off this bad. He gave me a list of a few disgruntled ex-students, old co-workers who he fired and a list of people he put away that made threats against him. He couldn't figure out who would want to hurt him this bad."

"I've gotten some nasty letters from people I've put away but nothing like this."

"Grissom is definitely the lab champ in this category. He has 26 letters, almost all of them are death threats. Now there has been an actual attempt on his life."

"Possibly two! The hit and run last week, John was driving Grissom's van. We all assumed it was just an accident. After this, I'm not sure what to think. Who else knows about all these?"

"Beside Gil? Just Ecklie, the Sheriff and me."

"Who did the hair, fiber and print analysis?"

"Grissom did it himself. He didn't want Sara to know."

"Damn! I just remembered, Ecklie told everyone that Grissom would be in tonight. You think it might be someone who works here? Are you going to tell Grissom about this?"

"Hell, no! The last thing that poor guy needs is to worry about this shit right now but I think I'll arrange to have an undercover officer on his tail from now on. You may want to alert the rest of his gang to watch out. We don't need anyone else getting hurt by mistake. I will see about getting more security at the lab."

"Yeah, I'll talk to everyone on both teams. I'm going over tomorrow to see Archie and Robyn. Try to find out how that package got to the lab. Let me know if you get anything more?"

Warrick walked out of Brass's office in a swirl of thoughts and concerns. After shift, he stopped by the hospital but neither Robyn nor Archie saw the package arrive. Archie found it on Judy's desk. The next day, Warrick went in to the lab early to talk to Catherine, Nick, Mike and John about the letters and the explosion. Each of them got to see pictures of the "fan letters" sent to Grissom.

"Gil used to joke about his fan mail but I never thought it was as bad as this."

"I did a quick count and Grissom has worked on just over 2000 cases since he started. Even if we only look at the cases that went to court or the suspects who went to jail, that's still a lot of names and faces to check up on."

Mike put down the picture of the last letter. "Maybe I can help. There is this guy......I used to see him all the time in the coffee shop across the street. The front window has a perfect view of the lab's main entrance and the entrance to our parking facility. He's tall, blond and skinny. At first I thought it might be Ian Fitzgerald and that he might be after Sara. I haven't seen him for the last two weeks, maybe he was busy building that device."

"Mike, let Brass know. I'll check with Greg and the rest of the staff to see if anyone else remembers him hanging around out front. John, your hit and run may have been this nut going after Grissom. Do not drive his van again until we put a net over this guy. Please everyone be careful."

Later, Warrick was stunned to learn from Judy, that she saw and talked to the man that fit Mike's description. She said he was wandering the hallways the day before Grissom left for Canada. He was able to pull the surveillance tape from the lobby camera and got a good picture of the man both Mike and Judy described. Warrick was not surprised that his face wasn't in any of the criminal databases.

Brass and Warrick had a rather heated discussion on whether or not they should show that picture to Grissom.

* * *

Grissom, the subject of their discussion, was also not having a good day. He had spent most of his day at the courthouse. The attorneys for the conference, the airline and some of the families of the deceased had been harassing Grissom all day on minor details and the exact timeline of events surrounding the crash. He was very grateful when the judge called the court session closed early for the day. Walking out of the courthouse on swollen feet, he also had a monstrous headache and felt somewhat dizzy. Sitting down on a bench outside the fresh air helped, he was unaware of the undercover officer watched him closely as he pretended to be on a smoke break. Grissom pulled out his cell phone, his hands were still sore but luckily he only had to press one number. "Sara, court is over for the day but I need to work off some steam. I'll take a cab over to the boathouse, after I will stop by the grocery store on the way home. Do you need to add anything to the shopping list?" He listened for a moment, then blushed and chuckled. "I'll see what I can do, honey."

Warrick had won the battle with Brass, he went to show Grissom the picture of his possible stalker. He was going to say the man had been seen wandering the halls and may have stolen items from the lab. Rick and Brass agreed that he would say nothing about the explosion or any link to the "fan mail". Warrick called Sara to see if Grissom was finished in court for the day, he offered to drive him home. Sara told him that her husband had gone to the boathouse for a little anger management.

Warrick watched his boss row for a short while. It was obvious that the pain in Grissom's hands was still limiting how much anger he could row away. "Sara said you might be here. How was court?"

"First, let's kill all the lawyers!"

"Shakespeare, right?"

"And Grissom, too! What's up, Rick? Did Sara send you to make sure I'm OK or have you finally decided to become a member?"

"Nah! This is way too much exercise for me. You got a minute?"

"Sure, I can use a breather."

"Hey, does this guy look familiar to you?"

"No, why? What's up?"

"Judy and Mike said they both have seen him wandering the hallways at the lab. We are checking now to see if he took anything and exactly how the hell he keeps getting in. Have you ever seen him in the lab or hanging around outside it?"

"No, but it's kind of spooky. That could almost be a picture of me in my twenties."

"Get out!"

"Hey, I wasn't always fifty years old you know." Warrick chuckled. "Just for that, you can give me a ride to the supermarket. I was going to call a cab."

"Sure, no problem! I'll even give you a hand with the groceries since we all pigged out at your place on Sunday."

"Once my hands feel better, I'm going to need to lease something or buy a new car. The Mercedes is too low for Sara right now and I sold the Denali to John."

"Yeah, he told me." Grissom and Warrick drove to the supermarket and arrived a short time later at the apartment with several bags of groceries. Sara met them at the door but neither man would let her carry anything.

"Hey,Warrick! Don't you ever sleep?" Sara followed them into the kitchen.

"Sure I do, all the time on the job. I'm a supervisor now, make my staff do all the work."

"Very funny, Warrick. I'll remember that comment when it's time for your next review." Grissom tossed him an apple. Sara tried to help unpack the bags and noticed several cans of protein shakes. Before she could ask any questions about them, both her husband and Warrick pointed for her to go back to the couch. Rolling her eyes, Sara returned to the couch and her book. Grissom watched Rick as the apple quickly disappear. "You want to stay for dinner Rick?"

"No thanks, I've got to get some sleep. If you need anything until you get a car, call me."


	36. Chapter 36

Later in the week, a new attorney was in the courtroom as Grissom arrived. He had been hired on behalf of the passengers from Flight 217 that died. He would be representing all of them in a class action suit against the conference, the airline and the canadian authorities.

Grissom knew of the attorney. He was good but still a gun for hire, just in it for his share of the settlement or some headlines. The hearing opened and Grissom was called to testify at once.

"Dr. Grissom, are you a medical doctor?"

"No, my doctorates are in Entomology and Forensics."

"How long have you worked at the Las Vegas crime lab?"

"Almost fourteen years."

"Then you have studied extensively on how people get away with murder?"

"No."

"Your honor this is deposition not a trial. I need more than one word answers."

"Watch yourself, Mr. Moore! Can you elaborate about your job, Dr. Grissom?"

"My job is to examine, collect and analyze evidence at crime scenes. To determine what happened and hopefully locate clues to find a suspect. There is almost always some evidence."

"Thank you. However, there are cases where a killer has never been caught."

"Unfortunately, yes! However, we hold these cases open. We often find fingerprints or DNA, the evidence is entered into a national criminal database. If the suspect is ever arrested again, then we get a second chance to convict him."

"Thank you, Dr. Grissom. Let's get back to the events of Flight 217. I hope you'll bear with me, I am still getting up to speed. I need a very detailed account of what happened before, during and most importantly after the flight. I have your previous testimony but I need to clarify some points. You were not originally listed on the passenger manifest for that flight."

"I was not supposed to be at the conference at all. The original plane tickets were issued to Catherine Willows from our lab. She is the swing shift supervisor and our lab's resident blood spatter expert. However, her daughter was injured a few days before the start of the conference. Since she was not able to attend, I stepped in as a substitute at the last minute."

"Funny, that information was not in any of your previous testimony, Dr. Grissom.........But I'll get back to that. Why did you change your tickets home to flight 217?"

"I was originally scheduled to leave much later on Saturday night. I saw a weather report very early that morning in my hotel room. An ice storm was forecast for later in the day. The airport had closed during an ice storm earlier in the week. My final lecture had been canceled, so I went to the airport hoping to leave early."

"Why the rush?"

"I came to the conference to deliver several lectures. I also participated in the workshops that I came for. There was no reason not to leave and hopefully avoid long weather delays."

"The previous night you had been drinking in the hotel bar?"

"I had one drink with an old friend that I met at the conference. Angus MacDonald, he is a captain with the Fairbanks Police Department. He was also kind enough to drive me to the airport early the next morning. I was able to reschedule my flights to go home early."

"You switched from a flight going to Seattle to a flight going to Fairbanks. May I ask why?"

"From Fairbanks, I was able to get a connecting flight directly to Las Vegas. My original ticket had me switching planes in Seattle to Los Angeles then on to Las Vegas."

"Again, Sir. Why the rush?"

"My wife is pregnant and wasn't feeling well. I wanted to get home as soon as possible."

The attorney looked surprised at Grissom's answer but hid it very quickly. "Thank you for that clarification. Please continue. "

"I boarded the plane and took my assigned seat 17F. The take off and flight proceeded normally for the first forty minutes. I had gotten up to use the rest room. While using the facilities the plane started to experience some turbulence. The pilot apologized for the rough ride, asked everyone to sit down and buckle up. I was returning to my seat when we hit more violent turbulence. It made walking back to my seat somewhat ……difficult."

"I understand that these memories are difficult for you......please take your time, Dr. Grissom."

"I had reached my row when the plane tilted sharply to the right. I was thrown down on to the seats in my row. I was moving over to buckle my seat belt as a second and much deeper drop......" Grissom stopped when a woman began to cry. She was quickly escorted from the courtroom. Taking a sip of water, he continued. "The second drop threw me against the windows of the plane. Then the entire plane started to rock from side to side as we began to loose altitude. I was unable to reach for my seat belt or get buckled in. The wing must have hit something because I was thrown back and nearly wound up in the row behind me. Then the noise of the engines changed and the plane started a descent. I was thrown forward, bumped my head and must have blacked out. When I woke up, I was wedged between the top of the seats in front of me and the overhead compartment."

"Then you were not awake when the plane finally hit the ground?"

"No, I was not."

"So you heard no further announcements from the pilots."

"No."

"Thank you, please go on."

"I am not sure exactly how long I was unconscious. I was not wearing a watch but it was probably less than an hour. When I woke up, Dr. Martin Dale examined me. He said my shoulder was dislocated and my ribs were badly bruised but not broken. He popped my shoulder back in place, fashioned a sling from a blanket and used a pillow for my ribs."

"Dr. Dale, by his own admission, had a few drinks before boarding. Was he drunk?

"Martin hates to fly! Many people have a drink to calm their nerves or to help them fall asleep before flying. In answer your question, he did not seem intoxicated to me. He was alert, speaking and thinking clearly; very focused on assisting his fellow passengers."

"Then you did not treat any of the passengers yourself?"

"I am not medically qualified but I did assist Martin doing what he instructed me to do. I only had one good arm and did the best I could to help."

"Spare us the false humility, Dr. Grissom. From all accounts, you took command. You inventoried all the food and water and told everyone when to eat and what to do."

"Martin and I had the knowledge of what food would spoil first. We tried to make the limited supplies we had last as long as possible. At first, we were in an ice storm with no end in sight. Later, we did not know how long it would be until we were found or even if we would be found. It took two weeks for us to be rescued, so it seems that our hunch was right."

"Yes....doesn't it seems odd in age of satellite communications that it took so long to find you."

"I am just very grateful to the men who looked for us and did not give up until we were found."

"Indeed, as we all are. Then your good friend Martin Dale made sure you were one of the first to be sent to Galena from the crash site."

"Dr. Dale attended the same conference I did but the first time we met was when he treated me on Flight 217. Later, one of the rescue teams told me Dr. Dale had sent men to Galena based on medical needs. You would need to ask him why I was chosen. I was unconscious at the time. I had absolutely no input into the decision."

"Were you unconscious or passed out drunk?"

"Don't say a word, Dr. Grissom. That's enough Mr. Moore! The court demands an apology for that uncalled for remark."

"I am sorry your honor and Dr. Grissom. Perhaps I should rephrase the question?"

"No, I'd like to answer your honor. Yes, I had a drink, one nip of scotch. I hadn't eaten anything in about two days. Martin and I had spent the entire morning moving over twenty dead bodies off the plane. We then dragged them over the ice as far as we could......" Grissom stopped for a moment to close his eyes. "We had to do that to decrease the plane's weight, hoping it would stop it from sinking. The plane came to a final stop on a frozen lake and the front wheel had broken through a section of thin ice. We also hoped that removing the deceased, it might improve the air quality on the plane. Martin and I were both used to the smell of decomposing flesh, we both work in a coroner's office. The others couldn't handle the smell. Later that night, after moving all of that weight, my shoulder was hurting very badly and I was growing more concerned about ever seeing my wife and unborn child. Yes, I had one drink on an empty stomach and almost immediately passed out. When I woke up, I was being carried to an Air Force rescue helicopter."

"Dr. Grissom, are you aware that two men died waiting for rescue helicopters to arrive and three more died despite all the heroic efforts of the doctors at Galena?"

"No, I didn't know that. Once the inquest in Galena began the survivors were kept away from each other."

"Were you also aware that your "silent protest" at Galena halted an inquest that may have uncovered the cause of the crash and those responsible for the death of 40 men?"

"The storm caused the crash."

"And you know this for an absolute certainty? What about mechanical failure due to poor maintenance by the airline? Or the hiring of shall we say unqualified or inexperienced pilots? And let us not forget the airline, that did not update the pilot or the passengers on the approaching storm. What about the conference that never informed their guests about the severity of the upcoming storm or requested that their guests to stay safely at the hotel until the storm had passed. Perhaps the inquest might have uncovered that someone tampered with the plane?"

"Why would any one of us tamper with the plane? Why risk their own life in a crash?

"Why indeed?" He took a page of information from his assistant. "Dr. Grissom you were recently married?"

"Seven months ago."

"To a Sara Sidle, your employee at the Las Vegas Crime Lab. Who is 30? Yes?

"Yes."

"And you are how old, Dr. Grissom?"

"I am 49, I'll be 50 in August."

"You said your wife is eight months pregnant? Perhaps you did not like being forced into the marriage? Or maybe you discovered the child she is carrying is not yours? Men have killed for less. A plane crash might have allowed you to play dead, escape from an unhappy situation."

"That is enough!" The judge slammed her gavel. "One more comment like that Mr. Moore, I hold you in contempt and I will personally assist Dr. Grissom in suing you for slander."

"I am so sorry your honor and Dr. Grissom. I was merely thinking out loud."

"No you were not, Mr. Moore! I have to deal with attorneys like you all the time."

"Your honor, I've asked no question that requires a response from the witness. I have nothing further and I think Dr. Grissom might need a break."

Grissom got up. "You and your army of guns for hire. When you can't win a case on evidence, you smear and lie about the witnesses against your client and I'm sick of it."

"Court is adjourned for today. Dr. Grissom, I can understand your anger but you need to control yourself or I'll have to postpone these proceedings. Mr. Moore, I'll see you in my chamber now!"

* * *

Grissom left the courthouse still angry at the courts, the lawyers but mostly at himself. He had let the attorney get him angry, sound vindictive and therefore less credible. He stormed over to the nearest taxi and went straight home.

Sara and the Sheriff were waiting for Grissom as he returned.

"Sheriff! News does travel fast. Are you here to lecture me on presenting the lab professionally during my testimony?"

"Gil, I am very sorry to be the one that has to tell you this. Martin Dale had a heart attack on the stand during his testimony earlier today in Juneau. He was rushed to the hospital. We got confirmation that he died, never regaining consciousness."

Grissom walked past both of them into the bedroom and closed the door.

The Sheriff looked at Sara confused. "Should I call someone, a doctor?"

"No thank you. I have to go to him now. Please show yourself out." Sara was already walking to the bedroom. She was not sure how she would find her husband but was very surprised to see her husband was just sitting on the bed. "Gil?"

"At least he won't have to testify anymore. I wish I could say the same."

"Gil, what happened in court today?"

"The new lawyer was a busy man, accused me of picking who lived or died. That Martin and I conspired to save ourselves or that I orchestrated the whole crash to disappear.....to get away from you, our marriage and the baby." He stopped when he realized that Sara was crying. "Sara, I'm sorry. You know none of that is true. It feels like everything lately is totally out of my control." Grissom chest heaved and slowly tears started to fall. "I really wanted you to meet Martin.......Ohhh God!"

Sara sat on the bed and pulled him into her arms. He could no longer hold back the pain. She held him as he cried, until he no tears left and slipped into an exhausted sleep. Rolling him over onto his back, Sara covered him with a blanket and quickly left the room. She searched for several minutes until she located the telephone number for someone who had once helped her.

"Dr. Oliver, please. This is Sara.....Sidle." It took a few minutes but Sara heard a very familiar voice.

"Ms. Sidle, this is unexpected. Are you all right? Are any troubling memories surfacing?"

"I regained my memory nearly a year ago, doctor. Remembering my past was a lot easier than living through it the first time, believe me."

"I see! Then how can I help you, Ms. Sidle?"

"I'm married. It's Grissom now."

"May I offer my congratulations to you both."

"You don't sound very surprised."

"I'm not. Since you're not having problems, I can only assume this call is about your husband."

Yes, Gil has had a lot to deal with lately."

"Yes, I've seen the news and read about the crash and his ordeal after. I've wanted to call him, offer my help. Is he having problems?"

"More than problems! Gil has had too much to deal with for much too long. Today he lost a very dear friend. I think it was the last straw. I held him as he cried. My husband rarely shows his emotions and he has never shed a tear in the ten years that I've known him."

'That must have been very difficult for both of you. How is he now?"

"Sleeping! He is mentally and emotionally exhausted. He has not been sleeping well and he is not eating. Gil won't or can't tell me when he is in pain. He doesn't want me to worry because I'm pregnant. He spends all day in court, reliving the horror of the crash and those two awful weeks. Now, his friend from the crash......Martin Dale, the man that saved him, died today during his court testimony. Gil is devastated! He needs help, please doctor!"

"Sara, he needs to ask for help. He has to come to me! I do want to help him but…"

"No! He can't, he won't. I'm asking for him. I can't loose him. Please, Dr. Oliver?"

"Alright Sara, I'll be right over.....are you still at the apartment on Rancho."

"No, we are living temporarily in the Wynn Apartments, suite 2800. Please hurry!"

Sara made tea as she waited. She was startled to see the bedroom door open. Grissom left the bedroom, looking more lost than angry. "Gil, honey? You need to rest."

"No, I have to go to Martin's funeral. Oh god help me, I have to fly back up there again."

"NO! You are not going. I will send flowers, send a card, we can call his family but you are not leaving this apartment. Please for me, Gil. I am asking you not to leave me again."

She walked him over to the couch. "Sit down, here have some tea. Your hands are like ice." Grissom nodded and sat, still looking lost and very confused. He did not take the cup of tea she offered him. Sara left him to get a protein shake. "Here drink this. You haven't eaten anything all day. Gil, does the smell of food make you feel sick? Is this OK?"

"I didn't know how to tell you. I've tried a few times but nothing I eat will stay down."

Sara made sure he finished the full can of the protein shake and then prepared another cup of tea. Grissom's fingers eagerly wrapped around the cup. She reached over to carress his face but he didn't respond or even look at her. Grissom was lost in his thoughts and was unwilling or unable to share them with Sara.

A short time later the bell to the apartment door rang. Sara let in Dr. Oliver. "Sara, it's good to see you again. You look wonderful. How are you?"

"Thank you for coming, Dr. Oliver. I'm fine, I'm very worried about Gil." She returned to the couch with the doctor but Grissom was unaware of them. "Gil, look who is here?"

As if just waking up Grissom turned to them. "Martin?"

"Hello, Gil! I'm not sure if you will remember me."

"Dr. Oliver, of course!" He tried to shake hands but stared at the bandages on his hands as if he forgot why they were there. Turning to his wife, he looked very confused. "Sara, are you all right?"

"Sara called me. She is very concerned about you. Martin's death on top on all you've had to deal with lately. I thought maybe we could talk, try to make sense of things."

"I'd really like that because nothing makes sense to me anymore."

Sara leaned over to kiss her husband's cheek. "I'll leave you two alone to talk."


	37. Chapter 37

Taking her book, Sara went to bedroom. She felt a series of contractions increase as they always did when she was tired or anxious. She laid down but barely finished a page before she fell into a sound sleep. She woke a few hours later to Grissom's touch, as he gently caressed her face.

He looked sad but no longer so lost or angry. "Hey sleeping beauty, you have to eat something and take your pills."

"I guess I fell asleep. How are you feeling?"

"Very grateful, Sara! Thank you, talking with Mark was very helpful. We are going to set up some time to meet every day to talk. At least until this whole mess is over. He is waiting to say good-bye to you." He held out his arms to help her get up. "What would you like for dinner?"

Sara remembered just how many meals he made for her since coming home knowing that sometimes the smell made him sick. She came into his arms and stopped him with a kiss. "You!"

"Maybe later, for dessert. Come on, I'll be chef.....it's OK, Sara."

Grissom walked to the kitchen, as Sara walked over to Dr. Oliver. "He seems much better. Will he be all right?"

"Sara, your husband is one of the strongest and sanest men I know. He will get through this because he has you. With all that he has had to deal with, his greatest fear is that he won't be there for you and Andrew. He loves you both and that ultimately will help him survive."

"I want to do more to help him. What else can I do?"

"Do just what you are doing, love him! When he needs it, hold him. He trusts you enough to let you help him, so protect him as much as you can. He feels responsible, not just for you and the baby but for everyone at the lab and all those people on that plane. The lawyers today told him that two men died while waiting for the rescue helicopters and three more died shortly after arriving at Galena. The thought that they died because he lived is impossibly hard for him to bare. Almost immediately after that, he got the news about Martin. The man had become almost like a substitute father to Gil. Most men wouldn't feel any pain or the guilt for surviving but he is not most men. Since he is a friend and not one of my patients and you are what he needs most......please, stay very close!"

Sara picked up on the doctor's comments that he was not seeing Grissom as a patient. "Thank you for stopping by to see Gil today, Doctor Oliver."

"Well I hope you won't get sick of seeing me everyday, so please call me Mark."

* * *

Later in the week Warrick updated Catherine, Nick and Greg on the results from the bomb debris. He also showed Greg the "fan mail".

"Man, some of these messages would make me want to hide in a nice safe bomb shelter for the rest of my life." Greg looked through all the pictures of the rest of the letters. "You mean that Grissom never told you guys about all these?"

Nick shook his head but Catherine threw down the pictures of the note from the bomb. "I always knew he had secrets but I thought we were his friends?' Warrick was surprised at Catherine's angry outburst and sensed that Nick felt the same way.

"Hey, he is a private guy. I know I wouldn't want this kind of crap being fed into this lab's rumor mill. Look he needs our help and we need a plan. Grissom already ran all the letters through the lab. If he didn't find any hair, fibers or fingerprints, then there aren't any to find. There is nothing in all this evidence to help us find this lunatic."

"Why are you assuming this is a guy? I wouldn't. The letters sound more like a jilted lover and the language sounds more like a woman who has been dumped. To dream up retribution like this takes one pissed off woman. I say this is personal, not professional."

"Can you think of any other way to attack this case but leave him out of it?" Silence met his question so Nick and Greg left quietly but Catherine waited.

"What are you going to do now?"

"Not sure, I don't want to go to Griss............Oh you mean me! Right now, I'm going to look at a new apartment."

"I'm really sorry, Rick! Can I do anything, talk to Tina?"

"No, just leave it! I need some time to think too." Warrick rubbed his hand over his face. "I'm sorry for snapping at you, Cath. I'm not sure of anything right now but thanks."

By the end of the week there were no further clues to help identify the lab's mystery bomber. Warrick discovered that Grissom had already reviewed all his old cases and he knew the cases and the suspects better than anyone. If he couldn't find a link maybe there wasn't one. Perhaps Catherine was right. Maybe this wasn't about the job, it was personal. However, to get that answer he would need to talk to Grissom and show him the pictures of the bomb. This was one of the few times that he held back from asking his friend and mentor about a case.

Before the start of his shift, Warrick left to look at a new apartment. He hoped to solve at least that problem today. He was grateful to Nick but did not want to spend another night on Nick's couch. Warrick had been informed by his doctor that Archie was being released from the hospital the next day but that Robyn would have to stay for a few more days. He had gotten very sick of going to see people in the hospital.

* * *

Sara and Dr. Oliver both pleaded with Grissom not to attend Martin's funeral, he reluctantly agreed. However he did place a call Dr. Dale's son and daughter. The call allowed him to talk to those who understood and shared his deep feelings of loss. Sara was glad that her husband was able to share some of his grief and let go of some pain from his loss. She also felt more comfortable now that Gil was talking with Mark Oliver everyday and his testimony on the crash was nearly done. Sara had taken over handing the mail and paying the bills for Grissom when he went missing.

In the morning mail she found a note from the Wynn asking if they wished to extend the temporarily lease on their apartment. Sara realized that they needed an answer within a few days. She had been so focused on Gil, that she did not know when the townhouse renovations would be done. Sara was concerned that her husband did not need any more stress right now. But as always, he surprised her. On Saturday, John drove them to Grissom's car dealer. After some protracted discussion, they both agreed on a new Outback Station Wagon. Sara wanted a car that was easier for her to get in and out of and more practical with the baby. Grissom wanted a safer car for his family but one that Sara could use when she was ready to go back to work.

His surprises continued when he took her to see the now completed and enlarged townhouse. Grissom opened the front door and allowed her to wander from room to room. Sara was pleased with the changes, yet the overall feel of the townhouse was still small and cozy. The living room seemed much bigger without the huge bookcases. Some shelves now lined the walls and made the room open up. The kitchen had also been enlarged but the master bedroom was a little smaller because the nursery had been added in front of it. The once tiny bathroom was now twice its original size. It had a giant whirlpool bath tub and separate shower. Sara walked back to the nursery, everything right now was painted in a white primer paint but Sara could picture the finished room. She had picked out a light wedgewood blue paint for the walls and had Grissom's colonial style crib, dresser and changing table moved from his mother's attic. Sara's plans for Andrew's room were interrupted as her husband's arms reached to surround her and their son.

"Do you like it? The painter is done in the living room and is finishing our room. He'll start on Andrew's room next and then carpet will be laid down. After that, we can start to move back in. If that's what you want......or do you want to renew the lease on the Wynn? The manager said we can extend the lease for another six months. It seems sales on the suites are a little slow just now."

Sara shook her head. "I want to bring our baby home here. Gil, do you think we can get everything done in time?"

"The only thing we need to move back in or set up is our bedroom. Most of the rest of our things are in storage or in the garage. So the rest of the rooms we can tackle a little at a time. Andrew's room is first! I can't believe we have less than a month to go and he'll be here." Sara started to yawn and shift from foot to foot to stretch her back. "OK, the tour is over, time for a nap after you eat!" Grissom guided Sara from the townhouse to the new car.

Grissom drove back to the Wynn, expecting that his wife would nap on the way. Sara was busy with thoughts about how to arrange the new larger living room and about Grissom's hideous old couch….if you could call it that. It was too short and a very ugly brown old leather love seat. She felt he'd want to keep it because it had once been the only place to sit in his townhouse. If he wanted to keep it, she would have live with it......maybe she could cover it. Arriving at the apartment, they both looked around at what had been their home for the last few months.

"Will you miss it?"

Sara looked out the large glass doors that led to the balcony. "Just the balcony and the view but maybe not even that once the summer heat comes. What about you?"

"I'll miss the couch. It's great to cuddle up on and a lot bigger and softer than my old leather love seat."

"Well then, let's get a new couch for the new larger living room. You can give your old one to Warrick. You know that he and Tina are separated now? I think he just found a new place."

"He hasn't said anything to me but I can't say I'm surprised. I'm sorry that they aren't happy together. Who knows, maybe they can work things out?"

"Hey I'm starving! Somebody said something about food and a nap. Is that offer to make me one of your gourmet vegetable omelets still good?"

"Absolutely!"

Sara watched him expertly prepare her omelet as he sipped his protein shake. She was startled to see him unconsciously pop a piece of cheese into his mouth. She hoped that maybe now he would slowly begin to eat and enjoy food again. She smiled at him as he reached for a plate. "Gil, after dinner how about we explore the cuddle factor of this couch, so we can find a new one exactly like it."

"I think that can be arranged. Dinner is ready, madam. Where would you like it served here or in there? Sara pointed to the coffee table in the living room. She snuggled into the large overstuffed couch as Grissom followed with her meal.

* * *

That weekend, Nick, Warrick, Greg, Mike and John help move Grissom and Sara back into their townhouse, well at least into their bedroom. The previous day Grissom notified the Wynn that they would not be renewing their lease. He asked for the name of the firm that had furnished their temporary apartment, hoping to find the company name to buy a new couch. To Grissom's surprise, the manager of the agreed to sell him the couch from their suite, for a fairly reasonable price and even agreed to move it to his townhouse.

Having only moved their bed, clothes and a few personal items originally, the move back to the townhouse was quickly completed. Sara would not allow anyone to help her with Andrew's room. She was also delighted when the truck delivered her beloved couch. However, the deliverymen dropped the massive couch in the living room and quickly departed before Sara could decide where it should be placed. Catherine quickly pressed her team into service, as she and Sara tried out various locations. After several moves, Warrick, Nick, Mike and John crashed onto the couch in exhaustion. They happily agreed that it looked just perfect where it was. Just as the couch debate was settled, Grissom and Greg arrived with food and drinks for all his tired helpers.

Warrick filed into the new kitchen with the others and grabbed his large sandwich. He watched as Grissom smiled and handed out the rest of the meals. Warrick noticed almost at once that Grissom no longer looked so tense or angry but he would still see him looking sad from time to time. Grissom had not told anyone anymore details about the crash or about the loss of Martin Dale but he knew the crash and aftermath must have been very hard for him. Also since Grissom had just finally completed his testimony, Warrick knew that Brass could no longer justify having him shadowed by an undercover officer.

The thought of a lunatic stalking Grissom or worse hurting him and Sara made Warrick increasingly anxious for some answers. Such as why a thin, blond man seemed able to just walk into and out of the lab unseen? Also how he had obviously watched everyone come and go from the coffee shop across from the lab and no one but Mike could remember seeing him. Perhaps even worse was the fact that now, even with a picture of the suspect, no one at the lab or from LVPD had seen the mystery man since the bomb blast. Had Grissom's stalker given up or was he planning the next attack on his boss right now? Warrick's gut told him that they had not heard the last of him or her yet. As Rick looked up from his sandwich, Grissom was staring at him. He smiled back grateful that his boss could not read his mind........he hoped.

* * *

Early the next week, Sara interrupted Grissom's survey of the many cartons of books and papers he had stashed in their garage. She found her husband surrounded boxes. Grissom was determined to look at everything and decide if it should be kept, thrown out or donated. The donation pile was much smaller than the garbage pile, as he found countless forensic textbooks from the 80's and 90's now hopelessly outdated. One small box held the books that he felt worthy to be put back in the livingroom. Sara knew he would get lost in all the books and loose track of time. She came out to remind him of the meeting with Mark Oliver also that they were meeting at Mark's apartment at the clinic. Sara assured her husband she would not touch anything until he returned.

Once he had her promise, Grissom walked to his car. Sara smiled as she watched him dust off his cute butt as he got in the new car. The smile on her face froze in place as Sara watched an ancient and rusted, yellow VW bug take a wide turn and followed her husband down the street. Sara had noticed the very old car once or twice before. It had been parked across the street, shortly after they moved back to the townhouse. The car seemed out of place in Grissom's upscale neighborhood. Sara wondered if perhaps it was just some reporter still trying to get an interview with him. A little concerned, she called Jim Brass. Her concern quickly became fear when Jim asked her several questions and wanted a full description of the car and its driver. Worried that he had upset Sara, Brass agreed that if the man was following Grissom, he was probably just a stringer newshound from some supermarket tabloid looking for a story.

As soon as he hung up with Sara, Brass put out a broadcast for all patrol cars to locate the VW bug and detain its owner. Within the hour, a patrolman spotted the car outside the gates of Dr. Oliver's clinic. Jim arrived in an unmarked car and impatiently waited for Grissom to leave. Brass wanted to confirm that the man was really following his friend before making a move. Less than a half hour later he had his answer, as Grissom drove from the clinic and the young, blond driver pulled out and slowly followed Gil's car.

The VW did not stay right on his friend's bumper but the driver was so intent on keeping close but not too close that he never noticed the red light he ran in order to keep Grissom in sight. Having probably cause to pull over the car, Brass radioed for a patrol car to pull the VW over. The patrol car flashed his lights and then sounded the siren. Jim was very surprised when the old car and its driver came to a stop and did not try to speed away.

"What's the problem officer?"

"Hey buddy, where is the fire? You just blew through a red light."

"It was still yellow when I was in the intersection."

"Yah, well you can tell that to the judge. Please step out of the car with your license and registration." The tall, thin blond man watched Grissom disappear and reluctantly reached for his wallet.

"Michael Porter. This is a Michigan driver's license. Don't they have traffic lights where you come from?'

"I'm in kind of a hurry. Can you just give me the ticket, please?"

"I need the car's registration."

"I don't have one. I found most of this car in pieces and put it together from other junk cars and parts. It's not registered because I couldn't afford the insurance."

"Driving an unregistered car is not allowed in Nevada. I'm sorry, we will need to detain you." The officer signaled to Brass as they put the young man into the patrol car.

Over an hour later after photos and prints were taken, an angry Michael Porter was brought to an interrogation room. Judy looked through the one-way mirror and confirmed that he was man she saw wandering the lab's hallways trying to locate Grissom's office. Jim knew there were no fingerprints or DNA on any of threatening letters Grissom had received, so they could not hold him for long without something more. Using the tape from the lab's security cameras, Brass was surprised when a judge granted them a search warrant for the suspect's car. The DA had successfully argued that the young man's car was his home since Michael Porter had no hotel room or apartment in Vegas. Also the suspect had been seen on the lab's cameras in areas not open to the public. Some lab property had been reported missing so a search of the vehicle was not unreasonable.

Nick and Greg carefully checked every inch of the ancient car. They found several chemistry books but no actual chemicals. However, Greg did find a large red crayon buried in the trunk. He also found several college yearbooks that had pictures of Gil Grissom circled with a red crayon. Those discoveries were enough for Brass to hold him on stalking charges and compel a DNA sample.

While they waited for the DNA results, the fingerprints taken from Michael Porter gave them a world of new information, including a police record. There were reports from several states but most of the offenses were minor: petty thief, unlawful entry, malicious mischief. Also the dates and locations of the crimes listed were in a direct line on Route 66 from Michigan to Vegas. Both Brass and Warrick were surprised to see among the list of names the suspect had used in the past was Michael Grissom.

Warrick remembered that when he showed Michael's picture to Grissom, his boss said the young man looked a lot like him when he was in his twenties. Rick wondered if maybe Catherine's comments about a jilted lover were right. Maybe Grissom had fathered more than the baby Sara was now carrying.


	38. Chapter 38

Warrick studied the face of the man who might be Grissom's son, he did see some similarities. He said nothing about his speculations when Catherine came into the observation room.

"Is he stalking Grissom? Did he say anything as to why?"

"He's not talking. I am waiting for some photos. Brass wanted the first crack at him."

Jim Brass walked into the interrogation room with a copy of Michael's police record. "Well you have been a busy boy, complaints in several states but all under different names. Which of these is your real name?" He paused but the young man ignored him. Suddenly Brass slammed the file on the table. "Hey, that was the easiest question I'm going to ask you! What are you looking for in Las Vegas, or perhaps I should say who?"

"It's whom, you moron and it's none of your damned business."

"Your wrong, it is my business." The young man glared at Brass but said nothing. "Doesn't matter, I have your record here. Michael Gilbert Porter, mother Allison Porter."

Catherine gasped at the name and ran from the room. She nearly ran into Archie in her haste to leave.

"Hi, Catherine! Hey Rick, what was that all about?"

Warrick was surprised by her hasty departure and that she did not even acknowledge Archie or his greeting. "I have no idea. Thanks for rushing these photos, Archie. It's good to have you back."

Armed with the photos showing Michael inside the crime lab and all the evidence found in his car, Warrick entered the interrogation room. "Mr. Porter, I'm Warrick Brown. I'd like to discuss some of the evidence we found in your car." He spread out the photos but Michael seemed more interested in what time it was than the photos.

"I know who you are. You work for the great Dr. Gilbert Grissom. Are you his latest pet?"

"He is my friend and mentor and I am very proud to work with him. Look, you can save us both a lot of time if you'll explain why you have all these books and why his photographs are circled."

"Why should I? The books aren't stolen. They are mine! You had no right to search my car like I'm a criminal. It's a personal matter with him and nobody else's business."

"Oh no! You made it my business when you tried to kill him. You also hurt three other people who work at this lab. First the hit and run, then the little gift package you sent with your latest message. We have all your notes, Michael." Warrick watched Michael as he slowly laid down pictures of the bomb and a chemical breakdown of what was in the package.

The young man carefully examined all the information. "These compounds couldn't kill anyone, the concentration isn't strong enough. Oh, by the way, I didn't send any packages or notes to Grissom or anyone and you have no proof that I did."

Brass and Warrick exchanged a look, the Captain had the next question. "When we pulled you over, you were following Dr. Grissom in your car."

"I was lost. I was following a car with local plates hoping to find the highway. I was going to ask for directions at the next light but I was pulled over. Again, you have no proof I was following anyone."

Throwing down the red crayon in an evidence bag, the pictures of the circled yearbook pages in red crayon and the threatening notes. "And I suppose you know nothing about any of these either."

"I'm a little old to play with crayons. That thing could have been in my trunk for years. I told you, I put my car together with parts from several other junk cars and pieces I found or bought."

"Or stole? There are several complaints for petty theft on your record."

"I'm broke, couldn't find a job. So sometimes I stole some gas or food. How many years do I get for being hungry, Javier?" The young man stared at Jim Brass.

Brass ignored the young man's taunts. Michael started to whistle songs from Les Miserables. "Well get comfortable Val Jean, the questions have only just started."

Warrick gathered the evidence and then left the room with Brass. He watched Michael wave, chuckle and start to whistle again but he also checked the time again.

"He's right Rick, the crayon and books are not enough to hold him. Everything we have is circumstantial. Maybe we should call Gil, see if he recognizes him."

"I already showed Grissom the security photo. He said he didn't know Michael."

Catherine walked up to them in the hallway. "Grissom is on his way. Trust me, he will want to talk to this young man. Gil told me in college that he once lived with a young woman named Allison Porter. She walked out on him and he's been looking for her ever since. Maybe she left when she found out she was pregnant.......but Michael looks too young to be thirty."

"According to Michael license he is only 25. No way that kid is Grissom's son." Brass said it but Warrick agreed.

"I know that and you both know it but it only matters what Michael believes. Who knows what his mother told him. She wouldn't be the first woman to make up lies about an absent father."

* * *

Grissom and Sara arrived a short time later. Sara got her first good look at Michael Porter. "He does look a lot like you at that age, Gil."

"Sara, the last time I saw Allison Porter was in 1976. Michael's date of birth is listed as September 1, 1982. I was teaching at UCLA in '82. Sara, you know that I would never lie to you and if Michael was mine, I would never.....could never just walk away."

Turning to speak to Brass, "Jim let me talk to him. Please?" When he nodded, Grissom brought over a chair for Sara to sit down before he walked into the next room.

"Hello, Michael! I understand you wanted to see me, talk to me." The young man looked startled but then got up and bowed.

"Well look who's here. It's the hero! The great and wonderful, Dr. Gilbert Edward Grissom."

"Michael, it is so good to meet you. They told me you are Allison's son. I have been trying to find her, I've been looking for over thirty years."

"Bullshit, Doc! You walked out on her and me, dear old dad. She told me all about you but never said why you left us.......too much baggage for a rising academic superstar?"

"No Michael, having a baby with your mother was not even a dream for us. We were both students on scholarships. My scholarship paid for tuition, books, a dorm room and some fees. Your mother's only paid for her tuition. So, we both had to work and go to school.......later, when we moved in together, we could barely cover the rent and food for the two of us. There was no way we could afford to have a baby. Your mother was on the pill, we were very careful, we had to be. My mother had a serious medical condition and it is hereditary. It's called otosclerosis, it acelerates bone growth in the inner ear and eventually causes deafness. My mother was deaf before she was 40. I had been told that any child I fathered might be born deaf.......I saw how much loosing her hearing limited my mother's life. I never wanted to inflict that kind of loss or pain on a child. We both agreed on that before we moved in togther."

"Well here I am dad! Sorry to have screwed up your agreement."

"You are not my son Michael, you can't be! I don't know what your mother told you but she walked out on me on New Years Day 1977. I never saw her again. You were born in 1982. It is not possible for you to be my son. If you want, I will take a paternity test." Grissom paused but Michael would not look at him. "Michael I did love your mother but I also know I hurt her. She had great ambitions for me but I didn't want the life that she envisioned for us. She had this........reverence for riches, she wanted money, influence, power. She would never talk about her family but I know she was ashamed of them because they were poor and uneducated. She wanted more for herself and for me. She could be demanding and even unreasonable at times. That last night we went to a party at a friend's house and yes, we did have a fight. So, I left the party, took a walk to calm down. When I came back to our apartment early the next morning, she was gone. All her things were gone. I tried for years to find her, please believe me. I always wanted to know why she just left like that. Where she went and how she is? Will you tell me where she is? I'd really like to talk to her."

"That will be a little hard to do, even for you. She died three years ago. She married twice but she thought about you every damn day of her life! She gave me all those yearbooks, she read every article and all the books you wrote, followed your career." He looked away from Grissom. "Those books and all the articles were her shrine. She made you into a saint, a god. Everything I ever did was measured against you, your life, your accomplishments.......Do have any idea what's it's like never to be good enough? To know your own mother loved the man who walked out on her more than her only son?" He stopped when he realized that others were watching from the next room. "She never told me who my father was but she also said you were the only man she ever loved. Not exactly rocket science to put two and two together. She often said that I looked just like you......so Doc, am I your only mistake?"

"Michael, no child is ever a mistake and I'm no god or saint. I am a man, just the same as you. I've screwed up a lot things in my life. I am a loner and have shut people out of my life. I also have a bad temper......I was so angry, very angry the last time I saw your mother. I was always afraid Allison left me because she thought I might hit her, hurt her......but I swear I never did."

"Who cares?

"You do! Or you wouldn't have sent me the letters and followed me."

"Who said I did?"

"All right then! Why did you want to see me?"

"I was curious! I wanted to see if you could really walk on water. Seems you rose from the dead. Read about the plane crash. Way to go, Dad!" Michael's face suddenly became very hard. "Why should I beleive anything you say? For someone who claims that he was too afraid to pass on whatever it is you have to a kid, it seems that's not a problem now. I saw your new girlfriend....very young and very cute. You get tired of her too? Set her up in her own place after you got her pregnant."

Grissom saw the hatred in Michael's eyes. He would not confirm or deny anything about Sara or even talk about her.....but he wanted somehow to convince the angry young man in front of him. "Michael, I told you I loved your mother. If you are Allison's son, I want to help you in any way I can. Not because I feel guilty but because you are her son."

"But not your son?"

"No Michael, I know that for sure. I can't be your father but I want to be your friend, help you if I can. I know just how hard it is to grow up without a father. My own dad died when I was 9. You are just a kid but suddenly you're the man of the family. Only you don't know how to be a man. You love you mother and you need her to love you back, take care of you but suddenly you have to take care of her. She tries to love you but how can anyone give love when their heart is broken. I didn't understand just how much loosing someone you love drains you.....how much it hurts until very recently. A friend helped me look at some things in my life from a different perspective. That has really helped me and I think he can help you too."

"You mean a shrink?"

"A therapist, yes."

"What about jail? What they never told you? They say I'm stalking you and tried to kill you..." He looked over at the window and waved at the glass......"was that two or three times, guys?"

"Did you Michael? Just say no and I'll do everything I can to help you."

"You really are Sir Galahad, aren't you? She used to call you that you know?"

"It was her pet name for me. The day we met, we were in line at the Harvard commissary. We both had a grilled cheese sandwich and milk. It was the cheapest thing on the menu. I had a dollar and you mom only had seventy-five cents. Together we had enough to pay for both our meals. That's how I met your mother, Michael. I fell in love with her that very first day. I just wish I knew why she walked out on me, what I did wrong?"

"My mother did a lot of screwy things....she kept dating and marrying men that looked like you. We moved almost every year, even changed names. I thought she was hiding from you."

"She may have been hiding but not from me. Let me see where you stand, Michael. I'll be right back."

"Excuse me if I don't hold my breath." Michael looked at the clock, frowned and slowly laid his head down on his arms and pretended to take a nap.

Grissom walked from the room and was greeted by many uniformed officers who lined up to shake his hand and welcome him back. He endured their well wishes never mentioning that his hands still hurt. It took several minutes for him to make it back to Brass and Sara.

Brass waited and watched smiling. Unable to resist the chance to tease Grissom as he finally arrived in the observation room. "Should I let the mayor know he has competition for the next election?"

Grissom ignored the comment and walked over to Warrick. "What do we have and what can we prove?"

"Not much, we have the notes." Warrick was very careful that Sara could not see them. "There were no prints, hair or fibers but we did find a red crayon in his trunk and several books with your picture circled and a few chemistry books. We are still waiting for trace to match the crayon to the notes."

Brass stepped forward. "We caught him following you but he claims he was lost and about to ask for directions. So unless we can come up with more, he could walk."

"In other words you have nothing. Why is he still in custody?"

"Are you serious? He has been stalking you. For all I know he caused John's hit and run, sent you a chemical bomb that killed all the critters in your office and damned near killed Archie and Robyn. He may have sabotaged your plane!"

"What bomb?" Grissom looked from Brass to Warrick. Reluctantly, Rick passed him photos of the scene and the bomb and the note in red crayon. "I have been getting these letters for over two years. What proof do you have that Michael sent them? None! The car accident? None! As for the plane, don't be absurd. That was an accident. Michael is looking for his biological father. He's confused and angry. Charge him or let him go. Now, Jim!" Grissom and Brass were about to launch into a full scale shouting match when an officer ran up to Jim with a message.

"Let him go, huh? No proof? I hope you're insured, your apartment at the Wynn is on fire."

Grissom looked horrified and quickly had to sit down. Sara walked over to rest her hands on his shoulders. "Jim, we moved back into the townhouse a few days ago."

"Well if I didn't know that, it's for damned sure the kid didn't. Stay out of this, Gil. Go home!"

Grissom and Sara quickly left the building. Walking back to the car Sara suddenly had to stop. "Sara, are you all right?"

"I just needed to stop for a minute and maybe lay down for awhile. Are you all right, Gil?"

"God, Sara! He had me completely fooled. If we hadn't moved........I can't beleive he hit John, then hurt Archie and Robyn but I don't understand why?"

"Gil, that's something we may never know." Sara continued on to the car. "Maybe he hated his mother. When she died he needed a new outlet for his anger and hatred. He picked you because his mother loved you more than him but that is not your fault, you did nothing wrong."

He helped her into the car and drove in silence until they arrived at the townhouse. When they arrived Sara took his face in her hands. "Gil, you did nothing wrong. You can't assume responsibility for that sick young man or for all the hurt and damage he caused. God only knows what lies his mother told him. I know you once cared for her and I am sorry that Allison died. It's not your fault she left you and could never find happiness with someone else. That she kept trying to find her more perfect version of you........too bad she was too ill to realize she already had the perfect man in her life in you." Sara kissed him until he slowly began to respond. "I love you, Gil! You can't change anything that happened in the past and we have our future to look forward to." She took his hand and placed it on the bump that was Andrew. Let's go, we have the baby's room to finish."

Sara did not need any help with the room but she hoped that thoughts of Andrew might help take away the painful memory of Allison and Michael Porter, even if only for a short while.


	39. Chapter 39

A very subdued Grissom spent the next few days unpacking the rest of the boxes in the garage, deciding with Sara where to put everything and what else they might need. Sara wisely knew he needed some time to think but also something to keep his hands busy. She remained on the couch directing him as he slowly filled the empty rooms. The only time her husband would leave her side was when Mark Oliver came over to see him or he would drive over to his apartment at the clinic.

A few days later Warrick watched and waited in his car for Grissom to leave. Walking up the driveway, he was surprised to see Sara waiting for him at the door.

"Hey, Sara!"

"Hey yourself, you just missed Gil but I think that was the point."

"Yeah! He has been so down lately, I didn't want to dump anything else on him."

"Is it about Michael?"

Warrick nodded. "We got the DNA results back, it confirmed that Griss isn't his dad. No surprise there! We did get a match on the crayon used on all the threatening letters, to the one we found in his trunk. Today we found some of his DNA on parts of a device that started the fire at the Wynn. A worker was in your old apartment, repainting the bedroom.....he died of smoke inhalation. Michael is going down for that and the bomb he sent to the lab. I just wanted to let you know, one less thing for you to worry about. He can't try to hurt Grissom again. How is he?"

"I'm not sure. He's been very quiet. With the lawsuit settled, Martin's memorial service over and Michael out of the picture......I just hope he can put all of it behind him and move forward."

"Sara, he is so strong! You know he loves you and will have Andrew to love very soon."

"I know one day at a time. I miss his smile, his laugh, the silly practical jokes he used to pull on you guys."

"You want me to tell him about Michael?"

"No! I think he knew after they spoke that Michael was guilty. Knowing it and understanding it are two different things." Sara moved, trying to reach for and stretch out her back. Warrick gently led her back into the house. "Hey Sara, back on the couch! You know the drill. Have you eaten? Taken your pills?"

"Yes and yes, can I get you something, Rick? Are you all settled in your new place?"

"You want to know about Tina and me?"

"Not unless you want to tell me."

"I hate dealing with lawyers just to talk to her. You and Grissom know each other so well, understand each other. Sometimes I feel like Tina and I are total strangers."

"I knew Gil ten years before we moved in together but parts of him are still a mystery to me. I love to solve a mystery.....but the most important thing is love. Do you love her, Rick?"

"Sometimes yes, sometimes no! Bottom line is that I don't feel I can trust her."

"I know, it's hard! I think that trusting is often a lot harder than loving someone. You two were only dating a couple of months before you got married and you have to really know someone to trust them. So keep your distance for now and start over. Ask Tina out on a date. Get to really know each other before you make any final decisions."

"When did you get so smart?"

"I've always been smart, you just never noticed it." Sara started to yawn.

"Go on, it's nap time for mommy. I'll let myself out." He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Thanks, Sara."

* * *

Once all the subpoenas and law suits were completed, Ecklie and the Sheriff continued to call and email Grissom. They wanted to know when he would return to work. He had deliberately put off making that decision. Now with Sara just two weeks away from her due date, the desire to stay close to her was stronger than ever. Grissom had already made arrangements to take off six weeks after Andrew was born. Taking off two additional weeks would barely touch the huge amount of unused sick and vacation time he had on the books. Truth be told, he was looking forward to telling both the Sheriff and Ecklie he would be taking off even more time. If they didn't like it, they could deal with it or ask for his resignation. Grissom had just received a very interesting offer from a publisher about writing parts of and editing a new Forensics textbook. Before accepting, Grissom wanted to discuss the offer and maybe taking a sabbatical from the lab with Sara first.

A few nights later Sara felt increasingly uncomfortable. The contractions would not go away, no matter what she tried. Sara was unable to sit, stand or lay down for very long. Waking up for the third time, edgy and restless, she decided to take a relaxing warm shower. As she reached to turn on the water, the first intense pain hit full force. "Oh god! Please not again." Sara quickly showered but more pains came, each lasting a little longer. She was about to step from the shower when she felt a rush of fluid down her legs. She knew that signaled her water had broken and she was in labor, real labor. She quickly rinse off again and was drying off when the next pain brought Sara to her knees. She tried to call out but had no voice. After the pain slowly went away, Sara realized that she would need help to get up and crawled to the doorway. "Gil!"

Her voice was barely above a whisper but Grissom bolted up in bed and was instantly at her side. "Can you walk, honey?" Sara shook her head and her husband gently lifted her onto the bed. He quickly got a another towel and finished drying Sara off and then helped her into a nightgown. As soon as he was done, another pain hit and he realized they were coming about five minutes apart. "We better get you to the hospital. It seems that Andrew just won't wait any longer." Sara violently shook her head as another pain hit about four minutes later. Holding her hand, Grissom called the paramedics and then Dr. Lynch but he got her answering service. They assured the nervous father to be, that labor for first time babies always took a long time. Sara's doctor would meet them at the hospital, to relax ans wait for the ambulance. Several pains later, there were still no paramedics or a return call from Sara's doctor. Out of options, Grissom quickly gathered some more towels, a pair of scissors and some string, just in case.

"Oh god, that hurts! Is it supposed to hurt this much or is there something wrong....Gil, I'm really scared."

Quickly returning with the supplies, her took both of Sara's hand in his. "I'm here, honey! I've called the doctor and the hospital. When the next pain comes breathe through it, yell, squeeze my hands, hit me, whatever helps. I'm here, we can do this! It's OK, Sara!"

Sara had three more contractions. Each was longer and harder than the one before. "Gil, I can feel the baby." Grissom was shocked to see that Sara was crowning.

"You are right Sara, our son is very impatient. I guess we can't wait for help."

On the next contraction, Sara did yell and began to pant. "I have to push! I have to get him out now." Sara gripped his hands and pushed several times. Grissom wiped her face with a towel, then gave it to her because he needed both hands to guide his son into the world.

"Why isn't he crying?" Grissom cleared the mucus from the baby's nose and throat. He watched as Andrew took his first breath and began to cry. Grissom wrapped his son in a towel and laid him on Sara's chest covering them both with a blanket.

"He's perfect Sara! Ten fingers and toes, everything else all present and accounted for."

Sara used a face cloth and gently wiped Andrew's face and head, then leaned to kiss him.

"We did it Gil, he's here. He is so beautiful! Look, he has your chin. I hope he has your eyes too."

"He is so small! You're right, he is beautiful. Beautiful, just like his mother, thank you sweetheart." He leaned down to kiss a very tired new mother.

A few minutes later there was a loud knock on the door. "Paramedics!"

Grissom walked from the bedroom cleaning his hand on another towel to open the door. "You guys are a little late, the baby is already here. This way!"

"Sorry, big accident on Sahara. We have to take them both to the hospital anyway."

"Yeah, I know." The paramedics quickly clamped and severed the umbilical cord. It was the one thing that Grissom was hesitant to do. Sara reluctantly gave over her son to be examined. She watched them closely as they inspected and cleaned up the baby. Grissom took several deep breaths to slow his heart rate as Sara was moved to a gurney and Andrew was returned to her. Grissom quickly followed them to the ambulance but had to run back into the house for his phone and to lock the door.

He sat beside Sara in the ambulance and held her hand as he quickly dialed his cell phone. He would leave Conrad a message but not the one he had originally planned.

"Ecklie, this is Grissom. I am very happy to announce our son made an early arrival tonight. He was born at 2am on May 1st. So Sara and I will begin our family leave today. See you in six weeks. Mother and son are both fine........and dad too!"

* * *

At the hospital, Sara and Andrew were taken away immediately and Grissom was shown to a waiting room. After nearly an hour he began to pace. "What is taking so damn long?" There had been a few other men waiting with him earlier but now almost two hours later he was alone and there was no one to give him any answers. He jumped when the cell phone in his pocket suddenly rang. "Grissom!"

"Gil, rumor has it that Sara is at the hospital. Did she have the baby yet?"

"Catherine, Andrew is here! I delivered him. I held my son as he was born, helped him take his first breath. It was......beyond imagining. I still can't believe it. God, I was so scared."

"Is he OK? What about Sara?"

"He's perfect, born at 2AM. We got to the hospital about two hours ago. They took Sara and the baby away and they are not back yet. I am starting to get worried."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth then the doors to recovery opened and Sara was wheeled out. "She's back, Cath! I'll call you later." As they pushed her gurney into the elevator to the maternity ward, Grissom leaned down to kiss Sara.

"Where is Andrew?"

"He is being measured, weighed and inspected......he's with Dr. Lynch." Sara did not sound pleased about letting the baby out of her sight. "Was that Catherine on the phone? How did she find out?"

"I don't know. I forgot to ask. Probably the grapevine at the lab, I called Ecklie already."

Grissom could see how tired and pale Sara was. He watched her wince as she was gently transferred from the gurney to her bed. "Are you all right, honey? You've been gone so long."

"Just a little tired. Hold me?" Gingerly sitting on the bed, Grissom took Sara into his arms. "He's really here and he's OK. Gil, I was so scared last night."

"So was I!"

"Really? You seemed like you knew exactly what you were doing. It was very reassuring. Even though it was kind of scary, I'm glad that you delivered him. He was held first by you, not cold sterile hands at the hospital."

Kissing her deeply, "Thank you for Andrew. I know just how bad the pain was, Sara."

"I really don't remember now. Isn't he beautiful? He looks just like you. They will be bringing him back in just a minute." Grissom stood up and moved over a chair to sit beside her. Sara laughed. "Boy, are you a mess!"

Grissom looked down to see he was wearing a blood smeared t-shirt and sweatpants.

"Hey, I may have this shirt bronzed." They both laughed as the door opened and Dr. Lynch arrived carrying a loudly crying infant in a blue blanket and matching cap.

She brought the baby over to Sara. "Doctor, why is he crying? Is there a problem?"

"No, he is just hungry. Sara, you said you wanted to breastfeed?"

"Yes, I'd like to try."

"I'll send in the practical nurse and we'll give it a shot."

Grissom was fascinated watching Andrew but stopped the doctor before she could leave. "Excuse me Doctor Lynch, why was Sara in recovery for so long?"

"There was some heavy bleeding when the placenta delivered. It was just a precaution in case of hemorrhage." At the word hemorrhage, all the color drains from Grissom's face. "Mr. Grissom, I am medically qualified so I strongly suggest you sit down before you faint. Sara's condition was not uncommon and she responded well to the medication. So take a deep breath and relax." She waited until he sat and his color began to improve.

"Your son was born just a little early but he is perfectly healthy, seven pounds and ten ounces and twenty inches long. You said he was born at 2AM?" Grissom nodded as Sara reached for his hand. "I have the birth certificate form here. Have you agreed on a name as yet?"

Sara was about to say Andrew Gilbert but Grissom stopped her. "Can we let you know a little later?"

"Of course, let me get the nurse so we can get this little one fed. Be right back."

"Gil, what's wrong. I thought we both wanted him to be Andrew."

"He is Andrew. Sara, I would like his middle name to be Martin, if that's all right with you? Without Martin, I'm not sure I would be here now. Please?"

Sara just nodded as she turned the baby in her arms. "Andrew Martin Grissom, what do you think of that little man?"

The baby started to fuss again wanting to fed. The nurse arrived and shook her head over the messy shirt Grissom was wearing. She frowned and handed him a hospital gown and waited as he put it on. "Why don't we let dad hold baby for awhile.…" She quickly transferred the baby from Sara to a stunned Grissom. "…..while mom and I have a quick class on how to nurse."

Grissom was mesmerized by the small bundle suddenly in his arms. He devoured every detail. The sweet round face, the eyebrows and lashes so light and fine they were almost invisible, the startling blue eyes, the small button nose over full lips and a tiny cleft in the chin that mirrored his own. One small arm escaped the blanket and his son waved it in a demand to be fed. He followed that quickly by a loud wail of impatience. Grissom watched in awe as the baby's tiny hand wrapped around his own much larger finger and tried to guide it to his mouth. The baby's skin was so soft and he looked so fragile but Andrew managed to move his father's much larger finger to his mouth and tried to suckle.

Suddenly, the nurse returned and plucked the baby from Grissom's arms. "OK little one, let's see if you'll nurse for us." After a few false starts, Andrew accepted the nipple and settled in for his first meal. "That's fine! When he is done feeding or falls asleep, break the suction with your pinky just like I showed you. I'll be back in a few minutes to show you how to get out any gas bubbles."

Grissom watched as his son nursed, after a few minutes Sara leaned over to kiss her son's head. Andrew lost her nipple and whimpered until Sara guided him back to finish feeding. "SHHH, here you go." Sara looked up happy as her son continued to feed, she saw Grissom smiling at them both with tears in his eyes.

"I love you, Sara Grissom. You make beautiful babies." He kissed her head, then started to yawn. Sara smiled as Andrew also started to yawn. The baby quickly latched on to her again, torn between wanting more food and sleep. His eyes began to close but he was still nursing.

"Gil, why don't you go home and get some sleep. Neither of us got much rest last night and when Andrew comes home we won't get much either."

Grissom reluctantly nodded, then leaned over to kiss Sara and then his son.

Before he could leave, the nurse returned. "OK, Mom and Dad! Let's learn how to burp baby." Sara had to stifle a giggle as Grissom rolled his eyes behind the nurse's back. Sara lifted a sleepy Andrew gently to her shoulder then rubbed and patted his back. "A little harder Mom, he's not made out of glass you know." The baby was losing his battle to stay awake but the nurse plucked him from Sara arms and handed him to Grissom. "OK Dad, it's your turn. We need to get out any gas bubbles." Grissom accepted a small towel and then lifted Andrew to his shoulder and expertly patted his back until a milky belch broke the quite of the room.

"I used to help Catherine all the time with Lindsey. It's just like riding a bike."

"Well done, Dad! Mom and baby need some rest now." Grissom chuckled at the nurse's dismissal, as she tucked Andrew into his bassinet by Sara's bed and left. Grissom and Sara watched as their son fell asleep and then he yawned again.

"I think Dad needs some rest too."

"I need to finish up Andrews room."

"You'll have time later tonight or tomorrow. First take a nap......and you might want to take a shower and change." He removed the hospital gown and saw the messy shirt.

"Hey, having a baby is hard work you know."

"Don't even go there mister, they don't call it labor for nothing." He leaned down to kiss her but the door opened again. The nurse brought in a large bouquet of flowers with a balloon reading, **It's a boy! **Sara read the card.** "**It's from all the guys at the lab. I'll call to thank them." Watching her husband yawn again, " Gil, I'm glad you are taking a cab home, you are much too tired to drive."

"I'll be back a little later, Mom. You get some sleep too, I love you Sara."


	40. Chapter 40

With another kiss, Grissom finally tore himself away from Sara and Andrew. He fought to stay awake on the ride home and lost, an impatient driver woke him with a loud announcement. "Your home buddy, try sleeping in your bed." Grissom fumbled to pay for the ride and to open his door. When he finally made it inside, he got something cool to drink and flopped into a chair at the breakfast table. He put his head down on his arms and was almost instantly asleep.

"Gil!" Catherine woke him fifteen minutes later, as she arrived to find the front door open. "Are you OK? Sara tried to call you but got no answer. Now I know why."

Grissom tried to focus his attention on Catherine but she woke him from a very vivid dream of Andrew quickly growing up, as he just as quickly got older and older. "Cath, I can't do this! What was I thinking? I'm way too old to have an infant son. I'll be 70 before he is even out of college....if I live that long. I should never have let things go this far! What am I going to do?"

"Sleep! You're tired." She helped him get up and walked him through the living room. "Things will look much better when you wake up. God! You are a mess. I guess labor is not only hard on the mom. Come on daddy, it's bed time."

"I have to finish Andrew's room and get the car seat installed…"

"Later!" Catherine pushed him into the bedroom. Not even bothering to take off his bloody shirt, Grissom collapsed on the messy bed and went quickly back to sleep. Catherine locked the door, as she walked to her car she pulled out her cell phone.

"Hey, Sara! You were right, sound asleep in the kitchen. He was exhausted, so I put him to bed. So how are you feeling?" Catherine laughed at the answer. "We had a pool going at the lab. Andrew was born May 1st, 2am. He weighed 7 pounds, 10 ounces and was 20 inches long. Well, nobody got the birth date right. Damn it, Doc wins again on the rest. I'll be by after my shift. I have the same advice for you I gave to Gil, sleep. You need me to bring you anything? OK, I'll see you later." Smiling Catherine drove off to the lab with the news.

Grissom slept soundly for a few hours. As his exhaustion passed, he dreamed of Andrew's birth but in his dream things go horribly wrong. He was trying to help Sara but everything was covered in blood. Andrew came into his arms but he is shriveled, blue and very dead. He watched in horror as Sara bled slowly to death but he could do nothing to stop it. Grissom woke as he screamed out Sara's name. Awash in sweat, his heart began to slow as he realized it was just a dream but the smell of blood was real. He quickly stripped off the smeared shirt and pants, gathered the bed sheets and bloody towels. Grissom deposited them all in a trash bag and headed for the shower. After dressing, he remade the bed, quickly finished putting together the dressing table in Andrew's room, took out the trash and aired out the house. Last thing to do was install the infant car seat and then he drove back to the hospital with Sara's overnight bag that he had forgotten the previous night.

Sara was just finishing feeding Andrew as he arrived. After taking a few pictures of mother and son, he gave Sara the roses he bought her and took Andrew to burp him. Sara smelled the roses and then took the camera. "Wait I want a few pictures of you two." Grissom seemed calm but Sara could tell that her husband was upset but she was not sure why. "Gil what's wrong?"

'Nothing!"

"You know you really suck at lying. Tell me Gil.....please?"

"I dreamt you died giving birth at home." He closed his eyes as if to banish the thought. "Sara, if I ever lost you…."

Sara easily got up from the bed and took a sleepy Andrew from his arms and put him back in the bassinet. "It was a dream my love, just a bad dream." Taking both his hands, "This is real. I am fine. Andrew is fine. We have six weeks together to decide where we go from here. You are stuck with both of us for good, Gil."

Grissom pulled her into his lap and kissed her several times, each more passionately. Suddenly he stopped. "God, it feels good to hold you close again, different but very good."

"Different, how?"

"Well for starters, our son no longer comes between us." They laughed and kissed again. "You definitely have a lot more curves now."

"You mean I actually have a bust line now. I always wanted bigger boobs growing up. Now I just hope some of my clothes still fit."

"Oh, speaking of clothes, I remembered your overnight case."

"Oh, thank you! I can not wait to get out of this silly hospital gown." She checked on Andrew and took her case. "I'll be just a minute. Keep an eye on your daddy for me, Andrew."

As Sara disappeared into the bathroom, Grissom walked over to the bassinet. "Hello, Son! I think it's time we were formally introduced. I was the guy that helped you arrive earlier today. I am your Dad. That pretty lady that feeds you, she is your Mom. Andrew, Oh by the way we agreed on that name.....so if you hate it, I'm sorry. Son, I want you to know that I am a lot different than most first time fathers, a lot older. Even though I am older and supposedly wiser, I wish I could promise you that I won't make any mistakes but I can't. So let me apologize right now for all of the mistakes I'll make and hopefully I won't screw up too badly. I love you, Andrew. I want you to know that you and your mother are the miracles of my life. Welcome to the world and happy birthday."

Sara heard most of what her husband said and came up behind him. "I love you, Gilbert Grissom!"

Startled, he turned as she came into his arms. "I just knew you would be a great father." She kissed him and then stepped back.

"WOW!"

"What? I know the pants are kind of tight and the shirt way too tight. Does it look that bad?"

"Are you kidding?" He started to reach for her but before he could elaborate there was a knock on the door. Warrick, Nick and Greg arrived with a huge teddy bear.

"Hi guys! Hey Greg, who is your friend?" She pointed to the bear he had under his arm. Warrick pulled it from him and gave it to Sara.

"Oh umm ahh, It's for Andrew, from us." Sara leaned forward to kiss Warrick and then Greg. He blushed deeply as he and everyone else noticed her new figure.

Nick walked over to the bassinet. "So let's see your former passenger, Sara."

Grissom walked over and lifted out his son. "Nick, Warrick, Greg, I'd like to introduce you to our son, Andrew Martin Grissom."

All three men were stunned at the intense blue eyes that opened to look at them.

Warrick looked from the baby then back to Grissom. "No doubt about that."

After a few minutes of them making silly faces and noises, Sara lifted Andrew from Grissom arms and returned him to his bassinet. Rolling her eyes she sat back down on the bed. Nick sat down beside her and kissed her cheek. "So what are you two going to do for the next six weeks, besides change diapers?"

"Now that Andrew is here and we've moved back in. We need some time to settle in as a family. I have several opportunities that I need to think about." Grissom also sat with Sara.

Sara was nearly bursting with the news. "Gil got an amazing offer to write a brand new Forensics text book. He looked over the book I was using in my class and then wrote to the editors listing all the errors and omissions. They were so impressed. Isn't it exciting? If he does decide to write it, I'll get to help."

Warrick had told Nick about Catherine's prediction that Grissom would quit. Neither man was happy at the thought of loosing Grissom. They exchanged a look but then Nick flashed his broad smile. "Hey, Congrats! That sounds like it's right up your alley, Griss." Shaking Grissom hand, he started to leave. "Sorry, but I've got to get back to work now or Catherine will have my hide. I'll stop by again later and so will she, after shift."

"So how are things at the lab, Greg? You like have Rick for a boss better than me?"

Greg laughed. "I miss you, boss man but not all those tricky questions I can never answer just right. I'll plead the fifth on that one." Grissom smiled, pleased that Greg was finally learning when to say nothing.

"Come on Greg, some people still have to work for a living." Warrick turned to Sara. "So are they going to release you and junior tomorrow?"

"That's the plan right now. If there are any changes, we'll let you know." With a nod Rick leaned over to kiss Sara goodbye. "Later, boss man."

* * *

Catherine used her lunch hour to buy out Baby Gap. She arrived shortly after 11pm, which was long after normal visiting hours were over but she managed to get past the nurses. She opened the door to the private room, as Sara was burping a fussy Andrew and Gil was asleep in the chair beside them.

"Hey, mom! Oh Sara, he is so beautiful! I have to hold him, please?" Sara transferred him to Catherine. She inspected him from head to toe. "Hey there, handsome! God, I've seen a few of Gil's baby pictures, he could almost be a clone." Andrew stared to fuss again and Sara passed Catherine a spit up towel. The older woman started to walk as she burped the baby. "Hey, no tears little one. God this brings me back. Lindsey had colic a lot when she was little and Eddie would always walk out on me as soon as she started to cry. If Gil hadn't come over to help me, I think I would have lost my mind. He says he's not good with kids but he really is. I think he'll be a great dad."

"Thank you, Catherine!" Grissom opened his eyes and smiled.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Since you came in."

"Remind me to take back anything nice I ever said about you."

Andrew was still fussing. "Here, let me take him." Grissom took his son and continued to burp him. Andrew spit up a little and then quickly drifted into sleep.

"Too bad that trick doesn't work with Ecklie."

"Why, what is he his problem now?"

"Schaefer from days left."

"Small loss! Actually from what I heard he was given two choices: resign or face disciplinary action. It seemed that an awful lot of his cases kept getting thrown out of court. I could never figure out if he was just totally incompetent or on the take."

"Ecklie wants to promote his little toady, Stuart Cole."

"Over my dead body! He isn't qualified to run a road race. I think maybe I should call our Sheriff to discuss a few things."

"I wish I could get days."

"You've waited a long time, Catherine, I hope you do. I will call, though the Sheriff rarely listens to me and I'm not exactly his favorite person right now but I'll put in a good word for you."

Sara looked at all the bags on her bed. "Hey, Cath! What is all this?"

"What? Oh sorry, those are gifts for Andy."

"His name is Andrew!" Grissom responded very emphatically.

"He is too cute to be Andrew. Aren't you, Andy Panda? " She leaned over to kiss him.

"Catherine, no nicknames or I will have to kill you. Trust me I know how to make you vanish without a trace."

"Just remember, you taught me everything you know. There is always a clue, big guy."

With a smirk of defeat, Grissom continued to rock Andrew. Catherine helped Sara empty the gift bags. "I went in to get one outfit, something to take him home in but everything was so adorable, I just couldn't stop."

"Catherine, this is really great but we've bought lots of stuff already. Oh my god! Gil, look a little baseball uniform."

"Dodgers or Cubs are OK. No Yankees or Diamondbacks!"

"It's the Cubs. I think he will wear this home. Thank you, Catherine!

"Let me get out of here. But first!" She reached into her purse for a digital camera and took a shot of Grissom and Andrew and then all three. "For everyone at the lab." She hugged Sara, kissed Andrew and then asked to see Grissom just for a minute, privately.

After they stepped outside, "What's wrong Catherine? Is it Lindsey?"

"No, no, she is fine. I just wanted to let you know Mike gave his two weeks notice today........You don't seem very surprised! I know I was. I was about to make him a level two."

"And you should, Cath! Did he say why he was leaving?"

"He said his sister is going through a nasty divorce right now, she has four boys. They all live in New England, so he wanted to be closer, to help her out."

"He'll do well no matter where he is........he is that good. It's a shame we have to loose him but family comes first."

Catherine looked at him startled for a minute. "Did he say anything to you about leaving?"

Grissom shook his head and returned to Sara's room after wishing her goodnight.

Sara had refolded all the outfits into one large bag. "Gil? What's wrong. Is Lindsey OK?"

Grissom walked over to her and took her into his arms. "She's fine. Catherine was just worried about another shake up on the shifts at the lab, the turnover of.......people."

Mike had not come to the hospital or been to see Sara since his return. Grissom knew and understood the pain he must be feeling. He had experienced the same thing when Sara dated Hank. Mike didn't want to stay and watch the woman he loved settle down and raise a family with another man. So he had lied, created a plausible excuse to leave Vegas and Sara.

"Hey Bugman! Where were you? In a galaxy far, far away?"

"Sorry, I was day dreaming."

"You? What were you daydreaming about? As if I have to ask?"

"Andrew!" They say it in unison.

'Is anything wrong?"

"No! I am very.......happy. I have you and Andrew. I am content, maybe for the first time in my life.

"But?"

"No but!"

"Gilbert Grissom, that statement had a but on it big as a house. But........you don't want to go back to work at the lab."

"How did you know?"

"I've known you for ten years, Gil. In all that time, work, your job, Forensics was what you lived for. Now that's all changed, you've changed! Maybe you are a little burnt out. Most CSI agents only last about 10 years on the job and you've been teaching forensics or on the job over 20 years. Maybe it was the crash or Andrew or all of it combined."

"I don't think I'm burned out but.......Sara, when I started all those years ago I thought if I could figure out how and why crimes happened, maybe I could somehow stop them from happening. I mean, I've studied bugs. I know everything about their life cycles. After almost 30 years, I am no closer to understanding why people do such bad things to each other. Nothing ever changes for the better, in fact it seems like just the opposite."

"Now you want to study human behavior and you have a test subject?"

"I don't mean to sound clinical about our son but think of it, Sara! We created him, my sperm, your egg. I felt him grow inside of you everyday. You delivered him into my arms and I helped him take his first breath. I want to see everything, every change. I want to watch his first step, his first tooth, all of it. I don't want to miss any of it."

"Then you are going to quit?"

"I think so! I might ask to take a leave for a year or two."

"While you work on the new textbook?"

"I could use that as an excuse. Are you disappointed in me?"

"I love working with you Gil and honestly I was looking forward to getting back in the field together........but I guess that is not going to happen. Disappointed in that yes, in you, never! Although, I've never quite pictured you as Mr. Mom." Sara started to giggle at his puzzled expression. "Now, about that discussion with the Sheriff. Just what exactly are you planning to say. I can see the wheels already turning in your mind. How are you going to blackmail him to make Catherine the day supervisor, maybe Nick on swing and Warrick on graveyard?"

"Sara, you make me sound almost Machiavellian. I just wanted to let the Sheriff know my recommendations for the new day shift supervisor. I was also going to suggest that if he would consider Nick to take over the swing shift and Warrick as a replacement for me on night shift, then I might see my way to offer the next year or so of consultations to the lab at reasonable fees......while I work on the book. Also I might consider the new post of CSI instructor in a year or two. To encourage him, I could also offer the Sheriff not to sue to county and the lab for all my pain and suffering resulting from the plane crash. A crash that would not have happened if Ecklie had set up the video conferencing center that I planned."

"You know, you really are a genius. Warrick is right. I'd never want to poker against you!" She pulled him into a toe curling kiss. "I can't wait for tomorrow, Gil. We all get to go home together. We get to be together everyday for the next six weeks and then go back to a job I love. Perhaps, I will also get to help you with the book. Who could ask for anything more?"

Grissom walked over to Andrew in his bassinet with Sara in his arms. "Now that I have you and Andrew, the best is yet to be, my love."

* * *

And on that note, I am bringing this story to a happy ending! Thank you, to all those who made my story a favorite and especially to those who wrote such wonderful reviews. Barbara


End file.
